Love will tear us apart
by draiochta
Summary: Sonia is imprinted upon by a certain Jacob Black. What should have been love turns into hate as Jacob fights the imprint for Bella.
1. Chapter 1

**New story! Jacob and Sonia! Hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think by reviewing.**

**I am not Stephanie Meyer. I don`t own Twilight or Jacob but I do own Sonia. **

**Enjoy!**

I contemplated the scenario before me. I could either let Bernie beat the shit out of Ciara herself, or, which was the most likely thing to happen, I could join the fight myself and finish it before Ciara`s henchwomen decided their leader was losing and jointly attack Bernie. I watched with a strange sense of satisfaction as Bernie dug her nails into Ciara`s shoulder making the other girl squeal like a wounded pig. Sensing the time was right to break it up, I sunk my fingers into Ciara`s hair and pulled her away from Bernie.

"STOP IT! The hair extensions are new in!" I smiled delightfully before pulling with more force.

"BREAK IT UP!" Came the voice of the principal Mr. Reeves. Most of the onlookers fled the scene at once leaving only Bernie, me, Ciara and her band of fellow sluts to face the principals wrath.

There we go again. Of course the principal would believe Princess Ciara. She was a sly one. Her crimes had always went unpunished. Who would believe that the daughter of one of the most prominant families in La Push would basically bully and harass the daughter of a drunk (Bernie) or the daughter of a thief (being yours truly.) Whatever happened to not punishing the child for the crimes of the father? It seemed like I was always walking around with a scarlet letter attached to my person. Urghh, stupid small town mentality. I had long since given up trying to convince everybody that I wasn`t like my father. When I was younger it got to me more. I just didn`t understand why my attempts to make friends was met with hostility and scorn from some and polite dismissal from others. Usually the explanation they would give was "my mom and dad doesn`t want me to play with you." That would cause me to go home in tears to my own mom who in turn would tell me to buck up and be strong. She always says if people judge you before they know you then they are not worth knowing at all. She is a smart woman my mother. The only stupid thing she did was get together with my dad. She never married him thank God so there was no need for a divorce after he got himself sent away for ten years.

"Miss Harris, are you okay?" Mr. Reeves asked softly. Perfect. He had already judged me and Bernie guilty. Here comes another week of detention or possible suspension.

"I..I don`t know.." Ciara said with crocodile tears beginning to shed which made her eye liner start to run. Mr. Reeves turned to face me and Bernie. His expression wasn`t soft anymore.

"Do you care to explain yourselves?" God this guy was such a moron.

"She called my dad a bum!" Bernie said angrily.

"I never said that! I would never say such a horrible thing to anyone! I`m president of the anti-bullying league for heavens sake!" Ciara said. Good God this girl was some piece of work. She would probably make a fantastic actress one day.

"Then what happened?" Mr. Reeves asked. I was actually interested in hearing what Ciara had to say to explain why Bernie would suddenly beat the ever loving shit out of her. But before Ciara could open her nasty little mouth a deep voice sounded behind us. Paul Lahote? We used to be sort of friends before he turned all He-man and got his act together considerably.

"Ciara called Bernie`s dad a..well a bum is an improvement..she called her dad a scum bag alcoholic who can`t afford to put his children in good clothes. Isn`t it funny how with girls it`s always about clothes?" I inwardly thanked God he showed up when he did. Me and Bernie looked at each other wide eyed. We dared not believe our luck. Mr. Reeves looked like he was having difficulty digesting what Paul had just said.

"That`s a lie! You weren`t even here Paul!" Ciara shouted angrily. Shit she had a point. I didn`t see Paul`s hulking figure anywhere near the fight. "He`s just making stuff up so his friends won`t get into trouble." She added, throwing us one of her death stares. This is in no way over yet.

"Where you here Paul?" Mr. Reeves asked. He looked happy that Ciara had given him something to work with.

"I was a little ways away. I heard her though. So did Jacob and Embry." If golden boy turned school skipping bad boy Jacob Black heard than there`s no way Mr. Reeves can accuse Paul of lying. Ciara it seemed had come to the same conclusion because her face fell considerably. She was probably thinking on how to dig herself out of that one.

"Can you bring Jacob over? I want to question him myself." Question? Gee, he sounded like he fancied himself some police officer now. Of course he couldn`t just take Paul`s word on it. The boy had been in trouble more times than I could remember.

"Sure. But I don`t see why. I already told you what happened."

"Enough! Just get Jacob over here." Mr. Reeves snapped. The guy sure couldn`t deal with complications could he? He was probably still thinking of ways to still blame it on me and Bernie. Paul sauntered down the hall and disapeered for a couple of minutes before returning with Jacob in tow. These boys sure were huge. And hot. But also a little menacing. A little dangerous. Jacob looked just as bored as Paul with the whole situation. Mr. Reeves cleared his throat before talking.

"Mr. Black, can you please put an end to all this nonsense and tell me what happened or what you heard that started this fight."

"I heard, as did Paul, Ciara call Bernie`s dad an alcoholic who`s too broke to buy clothes for his kids or some shit like that."

"LIAR!" Ciara screamed at him. I had to forcefully surpress a snort of laughter. Jacob`s eyes flickered to Ciara before they settled back on Mr. Reeves. Other than a slight raise on his eyebrows he showed no shock at what she said.

"Well..then. There is the matter of who threw the first punch." I knew Mr. Reeves wouldn`t leave it at that. What a fucker this guy was.

"I threw it. No matter denying it." Bernie said it a bored tone.

"Suspension." Mr. Reeves said at once. "And you Miss Harris. I`m afraid I`m going to have to give you a weeks worth of detention for what you said."

"That`s not fair!" I shouted at Mr. Reeves. No way was I letting that go. Poor Bernie. She could never catch a break.

"I haven`t forgotten you Sonia. Two days suspension for taking part in the attack." Attack? Since when had it become an attack? "Both of you come with me to my office so I can call your parents. And no more lip Sonia or you`ll have a couple of days at home as well."

"Unbelievable." Paul muttered to Jacob, who now looked at me and Bernie with sympathy.

And then it happened. I didn`t really know what it was but I knew it was as scary as hell and as wonderful as heaven. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Like I had drunk too much green tea. Jacob Black had put some spell on me. No! I`m being crazy. Why couldn`t I stop looking at him? Why wouldn`t he stop looking at me? Fucking hell! What`s happening?

"Dude?" Paul nudged Jake in the ribs effectively breaking the craziness that was going on. Jacob dragged his eyes away from mine and looked at Paul. They seemed to be having some sort of silent conversation. But I wasn`t prepared for what happened next.

When Jacob looked at me again there was nothing remotely friendly in his eyes. There was not even indifference. He looked at me like I had pissed on his christmas presents or pushed his dad Billy out of his wheelchair. He looked at me with pure hatred.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two. Hope you like. I am getting off to a slow start with this story. Remember, any suggestions you have or criticisms, I listen to them all. Happy reading.**

"Hey Nana, I was suspended from school again." I sang as I opened the bright red front door of our house. I could smell tonight's salmon cooking away in the oven. My nana Hannah emerged from the kitchen wiping her hands on a tea towel. She looked at me with fake annoyance.

"I know. Your mother already told me what happened. I am going to have a talk with that principal of yours."

"Don`t bother nana, what`s done is done. A couple of days at home is not so bad. We can bake cookies and you can tell me stories like you used to." I went and hugged her. She smelt like lavender as always. A smell I would love and probably associate with her for the rest of my life.

"You are too old for my stories Sonia. You have heard them so many times you could probably recite them off by heart now." She laughed, smoothing down my shirt and pinching my cheek.

"Salmon for dinner? Smells great." My nana liked to take care of me and my mother. For as long as I could remember it had always been just the three of us. My mom left my dad when I was about two. I hadn`t really seen that much of him before he was sent off to prison. Did I miss him? No. Did I want to know him? No really. Was I sad that I never had a father figure? Nope. It was nice growing up around two strong women like my mom and nana. They had given me all the possible love, attention and discipline I could possibly need. They didn`t sugarcoat anything for me either. The blunt truth for them and for me is always best. It doesn`t raise any expectations. Keeps things realistic.

"Yes, and baby potatoes. Set the table would you, your mom will be home soon and she`ll more than likely be grumpy. Come on, move that little ass of yours."

"Yes Ma`am."

"Oh, someone called for you just before you came home."

"Who?"

"Embry Call." Wait what? I think I actually did a double take. Embry Call. Why the fuck was he calling here? He was hot but didn`t he have a girlfriend? Maybe it was got to do with school work.

"Did he say why?" I tried to ask as unconcerned as possible. My grandmother was looking at me funny, her dark eyes twinkling.

"No, he just said he might call back later." Call back later? I knew Embry casually before he turned all freakishly huge and strong and joined Sam Uley`s gang of hotness, but I hadn`t talked to him in over a year more or less. This day was sure turning out to be weird.

"Oh okay." Was my pathetic reply. Great! Now nana will think I was crushing on Embry. And she would tell my mom. Then my mom would freak out and make me promise not to do things with Embry Call that I have never imagined in my life doing with him.

"He`s grown." Nana said pointedly.

"He also has a girlfriend. And they are pretty serious. I don`t like Embry that way Nan."

"Okay okay. Any other boys?" She was such a teenager when she wanted to be. I rolled my eyes good naturedly at her.

"Not at the moment." Liar! My mind screamed at me. Jacob Black is someone. I had to admit that after he looked at me like I was a piece of shit I couldn`t stop thinking about him. Why was I so pathetic? I knew I was angry at him and had a whole load of come backs waiting for him if he looked at me like that again but...when he looked at me for the first time it was like something clicked into place inside of me. I felt safe and at peace. I felt hopeful. Maybe I fell a little in love with him? That was a stupid thought. A dangerous thought. A thought that would set me up for inevitable heartbreak. I sure didn`t want that at seventeen.

Dinner passed okay. My mom was a little pissed that I got suspended again. Not really at me but at the principal and at Ciara Harris. She was threatening to take me out of the tribal school and send me to a regular high school in Forks or Port Angeles. I didn`t really care to be honest. I would still see my friends here and in another year more or less I would be off to college and away from being stereotyped by dicks who didn`t even know me.

After washing the dishes and nestling myself between my mom and nana the phone rang. Maybe it was Embry again. I was wondering to what he wanted.

"I`ll get it." I practically jumped off the couch and fled to the kitchen phone.

"Hello." I greeted politely. All I got was silence. Strange.

"Hello?" I said again. Still nothing. Whoever it was didn`t want to talk. I was starting to get creeped out now.

"I`m hanging up now." I informed whomever it was. But they hung up first. What the hell? I`m going to *69 this bozo. I dialed and waited for an answer.

"Hello." An older mans rather gruff voice greeted me. He sounded vaguely familiar.

"Hello. I got a silent call from this number." I answered kind of awkwardly.

"A silent call? Who am I speaking to?"

"Sonia Mara." My answer was met with silence for a couple of seconds.

"I`m Billy Black. Jake must have called you." Billy Black? Jacob was calling my house?

"Oh..hello Mr. Black. I uh..." What did one say in this situation?

"I would put you on to Jacob but he has just left." Billy blacks tone was softer now.

"That`s okay. Em...well...bye."

"Goodbye Sonia. Feel free to stop by and see Jake any time you want." If he hadn`t of sounded so sincere I would have laughed down the phone.

"Yeah...sure...Bye Mr. Black."

"Billy."

"Excuse me?"

"You can call me Billy."

"Oh..okay..bye Billy."

"Goodnight Sonia."

I hung up. Okay so Jacob freaking Black was calling my house. He was calling my house and not saying anything like some weirdo stalker. I felt something pull at me from the pit of my stomach. It was uncomfortable. It was so alien that it made me nervous.

"Sonia, who was that on the phone?" My mom`s voice brought me back to reality a little. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves.

"Billy Black." That was sure going to bring up a lot of questions.

"Billy Black? Why on earth would Billy Black be calling here?" My mom put the TV on mute and submitted me to her penetrating stare.

"It wasn`t him who called. It was Jacob. He must have had a wrong number or something and hung up. I called the number back and got Billy." I replied truthfully. Mom looked at me quizzically.

"Jacob Black. I didn`t know you were friends with him."

"I`m not. He must have dialed a wrong number."

"Or maybe he likes you."

"I don`t think so mom. I`m hardly his type." It was true. I wasn`t his type. And I realized now how bitter I felt about that.

"Bullshit. You are the most beautiful girl on the reservation."

"I wouldn`t go that far mom." I knew I was pretty. I wasn`t smug about it, it was just the truth.

"I would. If you just made the most of yourself you would have all the proof you need."

"Mom! Please!" I so didn`t want to have this conversation right now. My mom was itching to give me a make over.

"Okay fine. But one day soon you`ll snap. You`ll want this Jacob to see how beautiful you are and then we talk."

"Confident much mom. Who said I liked Jacob in the first place?" I challenged.

"Your eyes did. And your blush." She smiled at me sweetly before turning back to the TV with the biggest shit eating grin I ever saw on her face. My nana hadn`t said anything this whole time, but she was looking at me strange. I could practically see the clogs turning in her mind.

"Sonia could you help me with something in the kitchen?" She said.

"Yeah sure." I followed her into the small kitchen. She busied herself with some teacups and switched on the kettle.

"Jacob Black huh."

"Not this again." I groaned.

"Tell me. Was this the first time he looked at you since he changed?" I wondered where she was going with this. I thought back. It was true. Today was the first time he looked at me since his sudden disappearance and dramatic reappearance several months back.

"Yes, it was. Why is that important?" Nana didn`t say anything for a while, just watched the kettle boil.

"What did you feel?"

"Nothing."

"Liar. You will tell me soon enough. Embry Call indeed!"

"I think you`re going a bit senile Nana."

"Be careful Sonia. Promise me you will be careful around that boy." She took my hand in hers and squeezed. I could see in her eyes that she was actually scared.

"I promise nana. I`ll be careful. You don`t have anything to worry about though."

"Oh yes I do. And so do you."

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three. I hope you like it. And thank you so much to those who took their time to review the last two chapters. Anyway, any criticism you have feel free to tell me. Happy reading!**

My two days suspension passed without anything interesting happening. I was actually happy I was going back to school. To my extreme shame I realized it was because I was longing, yes longing, to see Jacob. That goofy faced dick put some sort of voodoo spell on me. The pulling feeling in my stomach had me so on edge that I was stealing my moms sleeping pills just to get a sound nights sleep. The rest of the time I just had a joint and prayed for something to take my interest long enough to get Jacob`s face out of my head. He was never interesting for me before so why now?

So yeah, back at La Push high. I was greeted rather enthusiastically by some of Ciara`s former victims. Seemed like Miss Popularity was being shunned by the entire school which was wonderful news. Seemed like nobody would be kissing her spotty ass anytime soon. When I got to my locker and busied myself putting things in and taking stuff out the pulling feeling intensified. I knew someone was watching me. And it freaked me out a little if I`m being honest. Was it Jacob? Oh God, when did I turn into such a fangirl? I used to laugh at the girls who followed him around giggling. Hoping that he would take notice and ask them out. Jacob was a strange one. He seemed afraid to look at any girl in the school in the eye. I had it pegged down for him being shy, but I knew that wasn`t the best answer. Jacob had never been shy. Before he changed he was happy, popular and just plain nice. Something had changed him drastically. Like what happened with Paul, Embry and Quil. They sure didn`t look like seventeen year olds anymore. They had lost any look of raw youth they had the minute they cut their hair and magically grew some muscles.

Well, if someone was looking at me and I wasn`t losing my mind I was sure as hell not going to search the person out. Let them look away.

"`Sup Sonz." I heard my friend Ollie greet me from my left. Ah Ollie. My knight in a black heavy wool coat and skinny jeans.

"Oliver my love, I like the coat." He frowned at me for a moment.

"You like the coat is the first thing you say to me? Yeah I like the coat too. Why are you dressed up?" He scrutinized my outfit. I wore oat colored skinny jeans and a rather form fitting pale yellow sweater.

"I`m not dressed up." Okay, maybe I did get a little dressed up today in anticipation of seeing Jacob again but I thought I didn`t over-do it this morning. Ollie was leaning in closer to me.

"You`re wearing make-up." He accused.

"I wear make-up all the time." I countered.

"But not like this."

"Like what?"

"Forget it Sonia. You look...nice."

"Just nice?"

Ollie and I stared each other down until I finally gave in and burst out laughing. Ollie was great. We had a secret thing going on for a while back, nothing really romantic. I think we were just both desperate for some human contact. It never ventured into full blown sex, just a lot of heavy petting and very hot make out sessions. It was a miracle that we remained friends after Ollie decided to put a stop to it because it was getting too weird.

"You always look nice, even when you look like shit. You look..I dunno..pretty."

"Thanks. You do too. So what`s the gossip. Who slept with who? Who cheating on who?"

"Rumor has it that Ciara Harris slept with Jacob Black." What? Wait. What? Ollie must have noticed something was off with me.

"You okay?" He asked, a bit worried.

"Yeah..Yeah I`m fine. Just a shock to the system you know. I thought Jacob had some standards." What was with all the jealousy and rage I was feeling at the moment? Jacob could do whatever the fuck he wanted. He wasn`t mine.

"So yeah, that`s the only interesting thing that`s happened since you`ve been gone. Say Sonia, why is Jacob Black looking at you like you did something bad to him?" Ollie whispered in my ear. I whipped my head up and around. Sure enough, Jacob was looking at me, anger burning in his eyes as he stared at me with unrelenting intensity. He was flanked by Quil and Embry, both of whom looked extremely uncomfortable. What the hell did I do to him that would make him look at me like that? Fucking crazy jerk. Before I even knew what I was doing I flipped him off and gave him my best bitchy face. I noted with glee his expression change from anger to pure shock. Fucking moron. Nobody treats me that way. If he had some sort of problem with me he could at least have the balls to say it to my face. I turned back to Ollie who had a look of incredulity about him now.

"Okay Sonia. What the fuck was that? You just flipped off the future chief of the tribe. What happened? Did you guys hook up or something?"

"NO! He`s just...I dunno. Honestly."

"Do you like him." I took too long to answer that. Ollie put me into a head lock and tackled me into the lockers playfully.

"Uh gross. Don`t tell me you`ve joined the Jacob Black fanclub. Oh man Sonia. I thought you were cool." He then proceeded to tickle my waist which sent me into a bout of uncontrollable giggles. Suddenly, Ollie was ripped away and I slumped against the lockers in shock as Jacob had Ollie by the scruff of his hoodie and pinned against the opposite set of lockers. Oh God this is getting ridiculous.

"Touch her again and I`ll kill you." Jacob was snarling in Ollies angry face. Ollie, to his credit, was lashing out at Jacob with all of his strength, which had absolutely no effect. It was as if Jacob was made of steel. I wasted no time in getting my act together and pouncing on Jacob`s back, trying to dislodge him.

"Leave him alone you fucking lunatic." A set of warm hands easily took me off Jacob`s back and held me in place away. I looked up angrily and saw Quil. Embry was now pulling a shaking Jacob away from Ollie, who`s collar was ripped.

"I`m so sorry Sonia." Quil whispered down at me. "This...was not supposed to happen." That was the shittiest explanation for what just happened. I pulled myself angrily out of Quil`s warm hold and went to help Ollie.

"Are you okay?" I attempted to take hold of his arm but he brushed me away angrily.

"I`m fine. Just leave it!" He gave Jacob a look of pure loathing and stalked off. The students who were watching gave him a wide birth. I looked on with regret at Ollie retreating figure and then turned in anger to Jacob and his cronies.

"What the hell is your problem?" I whispered up at him. I was so angry I was shaking. I was also frightened. Jacob looked down at me, his eyes were cold and black.

"You are my fucking problem." Okay, we had that sorted out almost. But I was shocked all the same.

"What did I ever do to you?"

"Exist!" He hissed down at me before stalking away and leaving me rooted to the floor in shock.

"Sonia...are you okay?" Embry asked me carefully.

"Peachy."

"Seriously Sonia. I sorry about Jacob. He didn`t really mean what he said."

"He meant it."

"He didn`t. Please Sonia just.."

"Just what Embry?" I finally snapped at him.

"Just...give him time." Did Embry honestly believe that I had any fucking clue to what he was talking about?

"Time? Time for what? He isn`t worth any of my time. And you can tell Jacob from me to never call my house again, speak to me or my friends, or even look at me. If he does then he will have a big problem. Do you think you can remember all that?" I snarled at the blameless Embry.

"I`ll tell him."

I didn`t even bother saying anything else. I collected my schoolbag and books from the floor and marched angrily to my first class. I wanted desperately to cry but willed myself not to. The mere fact that I existed caused him to hate me. How was that justifiable? It wasn`t. I felt like the biggest fool ever to walk the planet. I had allowed myself to hope that he liked me. That I was good enough for him. I had even dressed up a little in hopes that he would look at me any other way than in scorn. I wanted him to look at me like he did the first time. When his eyes were soft and beautiful. I prayed that I didn`t imagine that. I knew I didn`t.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four. I hope you like it. Thank you so much to those who have taken their time to review my story. You are so kind.**

**Happy reading.**

Jacob did as I said. He stayed away from me and my friends during school and never called my house again. Ollie acted a bit off with me after the incident in the hall. He was convinced that Jacob had something for me. Who would attack the male friend of a girl for no other reason than jealously? I knew that Ollie felt humiliated after the fight. He had sprained both wrists and his hands were black and blue from bruises. He said trying to punch Jacob was like trying to punch a concrete wall. He wasn`t normal Ollie said. I agreed with him. Jacob Black definitely wasn`t normal.

Come friday I felt I was steadily descending into crazy town. The tugging in my gut was becoming near painful. The only relief I felt was when I saw Jacob. When he looked at me it wasn`t with the anger like it was before. It was more guarded, more regretful, but definitely not apologetic. At night I was plagued with the most intense sexual dreams about him, dreams where he made love to me furiously and possessively. Dreams that gave me the most intense orgasms of my young life. I would wake up with my clit pounding and in the most delightful state of bliss that it was almost painful when I realized that the real Jacob was not in my bed beside me. Why did I want him so much? Why did I feel this way? Why did he hate me?

These questions and many more I pondered as I drove to my ballet class in Port Angeles. I had been dancing since I was old enough to walk. And I wasn`t too humble to admit that I was pretty good at it too. I used to practice gymnastics as well. But when money got tight a couple of years ago my mom made me choose between the two. I chose ballet. It was more expressive, more beautiful and graceful. Since I got my first part time job I paid for half the classes myself and any pointe shoes, tights or leotards I needed. I would say that dancing was more than a past time for me. It was my passion. After I finish high school I have dreams of making it as a professional dancer for some famous dance troupe or company, but my mom made me swear that I would give college a chance first. It was stupid not to have some sort of back up plan she claimed. She was probably right. She always was.

I had been looking forward to class all week. It was liberating to finally don my pointes and surrender myself to dance. Every frustration I had I took it out with every plie, jete and pirouette. My dance instructor Ms. Vivian complimented me greatly when the class was done and I was happily aching and sweaty. There was a lot of satisfaction to be had the physical release of anger. Maybe this was because people said that make up sex was always the best. When I had changed and said goodbye to my dance friends I was confronted with somebody unfamiliar standing next to my car. Oh God! A rapist. He was too well dressed to be a mugger and nobody in their right mind would ever dream of stealing my crappy car. Shit shit shit. What do I do? I quickly turned on my heel only to come face to face with my future rapist instead. How did the mother fucker move so fast? I was so frightened I could have pissed my pants. How do I escape? Will I scream now or later?

"I`m not going to hurt you Sonia." Came his smooth, unnatural voice. How did he know my name. When they said they weren`t going to hurt you that meant that they would.

"Seriously Sonia. I`m not going to rape you." I forced myself to look into his eyes. They were the creepiest shade of gold under the street lamp.

"Then what do you want?" I asked in a small voice. He knows I`m scared.

"I just wanted to meet you. Jacob has a hard time not thinking about you. Even though he tries not to." He knew Jacob?

"Whatever. I`m going home now." I tried to push past him but he took my arm gently. He was ice cold. I could feel it even under my coat and jumper. Something deep inside me was telling me to run.

"Wait just a couple of seconds." He asked.

"Edward!" A high girlish voice came from somewhere behind us. I turned around and saw, yep you`ve guessed it, Jacob and some petite brunette girl with milk white skin and big brown doe eyes. Jacob had one arm flung around her shoulders and looked extremely smug about something. Then he saw me. He immediately dropped his arm from the girls shoulders and tensed. It seemed like he was scanning my body for something. He looked relieved then turned to this Edward guy with fury marring his handsome features. Ah shit! Why was it when I was around Jacob he started some sort of fight?

"What are you doing here?" He asked, still looking at Edward.

"Is that question for me or for Sonia?" Edward answered cheekily.

"For Sonia. What are you doing here?" Jacob locked eyes with me.

"What business is it of yours asshole?" I retorted.

"Whatever Sonia, just go home now. This isn`t the place for you right now." He said dismissively. That stung. It was also rage inducing when he looked down at the little brunette with undeniable affection.

"You shouldn`t speak to her like that Jacob. If she is who she unmistakably is to you then you better be nicer. You are hurting her." The Edward guy said solemnly.

"She is nothing to me!" Jacob spat. Sure didn`t hurt any less hearing it a second time.

"Liar." Edward said.

"I love Bella!" Jacob shouted. So the girls name was Bella. How pretentious. Edward looked at me in annoyance. Did I say that out loud? I decided I had enough of the freak show. I fished my keys from my pocket and started towards my car.

"You love Sonia Jacob. No bother denying it. It won`t go away, no matter how hard you fight it." Edward`s words made me stop suddenly and fumble with my keys. What was he saying? Jacob loved me?

"Jake? What`s going on? Who is that girl? Did you...you imprint?" The Bella girl said sadly. I turned to look at her. Sure she was really pretty but she looked so weak. She was looking up at Jacob with big sad eyes. Was she his girlfriend or something? This crap was so confusing. What is an imprint? Or to imprint?

"I...Bella...I love you! Understand that. Sonia means nothing to me." Jacob sure did like to rub the salt in the wound. I felt like concrete was drying in my throat. I wanted desperately to get the hell out of here and cry in peace. No way in hell was Jacob going to see me cry.

"But Jake..." The Bella girl started to say but was interrupted by Edward.

"But nothing Bella! You are my girlfriend. Jacob needs to understand that. You need to let him go."

"You don`t understand Edward!"

By then I had heard enough. I angrily opened the door of my car and slammed it shut when I got inside. I refused to look over at the trio on the pavement as it took me three tries to finally get my engine going. I peeled out of the parking space and practically sped the hell out of there. By then the tears had found their way to the surface. When I was satisfied I had put enough space between myself and Jacob I pulled over and cried into my hands. I couldn`t understand it. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn`t. Why was I so hurt by what he said? I was I so jealous of this Bella chick? What the hell was an imprint? Why am I in love with Jacob Black? The worlds biggest dick.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five. Thank you to all the wonderful people who have read and reviewed the last chapter! You guys are great! **

**Happy reading. Hope you enjoy!**

"Sonia, we need to talk." Jacob`s deep voice startled me from behind. Couldn`t this guy give me a break? I had just finished work and was looking forward to a nice coffee and alone time before I headed home. I had been zombie like after the incident last night with the weird cold guy Edward and that stupid Bella chick. I couldn`t handle more unwarranted Jacob hate. I whirled around and came face to chest with him. He was pushing seven feet at least.

"We don`t need to talk about anything Jacob. What did I say about never talking to me again? Are you as stupid as you look or do you get some sort of sick satisfaction from torturing me?" My words sounded as bitter as I felt. He regarded me with raised eyebrows before answering.

"I`m torturing you?" He sounded almost...pleased? Proud? I wanted to punch him in his stupid fucking face.

"Get laid moron." I turned around and headed for the bus stop. My car wouldn`t start this morning so I had to get a lift from my mom to work and then get the hourly bus home from Port Angeles to La Push. Why does all the bullshit come together?

"Maybe you could help me with that." Jacob said from behind me. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face him slowly.

"You can`t be serious! Bella not putting out Jakey poos?" I smirked as his face twisted in anger. Now I knew what buttons to press. He must have it bad for the girl. He said nothing so I continued.

"I get it now. You want her and she doesn`t want you. So you figured that I might be an easy lay. Go sell it to Ciara. You know she`s boasted about how she snagged you. You two idiots deserve each other." I gave him my best distasteful look before stalking off smiling to myself. Before I could get five feet a roasting hot hand encircled my upper arm and pulled me to a stop. I realized to my utter horror that it felt wonderful. I rebelled against the feeling and pulled myself out of his hold.

"You know shit Sonia." Jacob snarled down at me.

"Try explaining it to me then Jacob! I seriously don`t know what I have done to you. But I am telling you this now and you better listen carefully. If you have nothing comprehendible to say to me don`t bother speaking to me. I have had enough of your shit. Do you think it feels good to hear that someone hates you for no reason?" I got as close to his face as my height could possibly allow.

"There`s a reason Sonia! That`s why I want to talk to you." He said quietly. We were starting to get some attention from the people on the street.

"Then spill Jacob! I`m all ears. I would love to know what I could have possibly done."

"Not here." He said nervously, looking around.

"Then bye. I`m not wasting my time on you. I hate the sight of you now." I turned and stalked to the bus stop with renewed vigor. Of course the idiot had to follow me.

"Christ Sonia! It`s important! Let me give you a ride home at least." He asked with forced politeness.

"No." I answered firmly, crossing my arms and looking at anything but him.

"I promise I`ll leave you alone if you want me to. Just hear me out first." He said with sincerity.

"No."

"No?"

"N. O. No."

"Fine! You can rot here for all I care. Maybe the bus driver will do me a favor and run you over!" He spat. I looked up at him in horror. That was the most terrible thing anybody had ever said to me. So I was worth more to him dead? He`d be happier if I didn`t exist. I felt my insides turn to ice. Jacob must have sensed he had crossed a line for his face softened as he understood the full effect his words had on me. He stood erect and ran his hands nervously through his hair.

"I`m...I`m sorry I said that Sonia. I didn`t mean it. Fuck...I`m sorry okay!"

I didn`t say anything. I couldn`t. I was speechless. That hurt me to the very core of my being. I just stared up at him.

"Just stop looking at me like that! I said I was sorry!" Jake whined a bit pathetically. Remorse was etched into his face and eyes. I felt horribly cold. And dizzy. I felt like I was going to be sick. I rose on shaky legs and and wandered off. There was a buzzing sound in my ears and my vision began to blur a little.

"Sonia?" Jacob`s voice rang out through the buzzing. I didn`t want to look at him.

"Sonia, come on. I`ll take you home." I felt a hot hand encircle my own. The skin on skin contact proved to much. I felt an unbearable heat course through my body that made my head spin.

"Sonia, it`s okay. You`ll be okay I swear. Just let me take you home. Just say the words." Jacob`s husky voice pleaded.

"Take me home." I said. I heard him sigh in relief. He gently pulled me along to his car. He seemed afraid to touch me anywhere other than my hand. My vision was still a bit blurred as I was led to the passenger door of his Rabbit. I put my head in my hands in an attempt to stop the spinning. I hoped to got that I wouldn`t get car sick. I felt the car move and groan under Jacob`s weight as he got in.

"How do you feel?" He asked quietly.

"Like shit." I whispered into my hands.

"I`m sorry." He said again.

"It`s not your fault I feel sick." He was silent for a while.

"Do you want some water or something?"

"Don`t worry. I just want to go home." I lay back in the seat. My head was beginning to pound.

He started up the engine and we left Port Angeles at a snails pace. He was probably afraid I would barf in his car if he drove faster. Smart move Jacob. I knew I would hurl eventually.

"My house is just off Beach Drive." I said as we entered the reservation.

"I know. Just a couple more minutes." Part of me was flattered that he knew where I lived. Get over it girl! The guy hates you and wants you dead! He pulled up into my driveway. I saw that my moms car was gone. I remembered that she and nana were going to an engagement party over at the Makah reservation. Crap. I wanted them to take care of me.

"There`s nobody home." Jacob said. How the fuck did he know that?

"They`re out. Thanks for the ride." I opened the door and grabbed my bag. I must have stood up too quickly because I got a horrible head rush.

"Easy there Sonia." Jacob`s scorching hands were suddenly wrapped around my waist hold me upright. That feels so good. I am such a bimbo! "Do you need me to stay?"

"Just help me to the sofa and then I`ll be fine." Did I actually want him in my house? I wanted him in my bed but that was never going to happen. I hated him and he hated me. He was just feeling guilty about what he said. Well let him feel guilty.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six. Hope you enjoy. And thank you so much to those who have reviewed and read the last chapters. Happy reading.**

"You can go now." I said, massaging my temples with my finger tips. Jacob was still lingering in the doorway of the tiny living room, damn fool took up so much space.

"I think I should stay until your mom gets home." He said in a tired tone. I rolled my eyes at the ceiling.

"And what the will you do here for the next...what time is it?"

"Almost five."

"For the next six or seven hours? I`m not really in the mood." I said tiredly. Truth be told I didn`t want him to leave but I couldn`t take any more of his crap.

"Not in the mood for what?" He asked me in a careful voice. I snorted in disbelief.

"Not in the mood for you Jacob. God, you really are an idiot." I sat up on the sofa and regarded him. He was wearing a white t-shirt and was leaning against the door frame a la James Dean.

"You like insulting me?" He seemed amused. I wasn`t.

"I don`t like insulting anyone. I don`t mean to sound like a child but you started it." I countered.

"We both started it." I didn`t understand him. Any of it. And I flew off the edge.

"Jesus Jacob. Stop it! Just...STOP IT!" I screeched and stood up. Jacob stood erect and looked at me like I had just sprouted another head.

"Stop what?" He whispered back angrily.

"Stop acting like I know what the fuck is going on! Just tell me what the hell I did! You are driving me insane!" I fisted my hair and paced the small space in the living room. My stomach was in knots. Jacob crossed the room in one stride and held me firmly in place.

"I`ll tell you why okay...I`m...I am a..." He started but couldn`t finish. I was going to be sick. Oh man, I was gonna hurl bad.

"Let me go, I going to be sick." He released me and I darted to the bathroom. Once the door was closed I wasted no time in puking out the entire contents of my stomach. After I had finished my throat felt raw and I felt so weak. I brushed my teeth and washed my hands and face before I went back out to my torturer. Jacob was hovering awkwardly in hall with a huge glass of water in his hand.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked. He sounded almost concerned.

"Yeah..thanks." I took the water from him and drank greedily.

"Listen Sonia...what I wanted to say was.." I cut him off. I couldn`t handle another fight.

"No Jacob. Not now please. Some other time." I looked him straight in the eye. His expression was still guarded but he nodded his head anyway.

"You can stay if you want as well, but I`m afraid I won`t be great company."

"That`s fine. I just want to make sure that you`re okay." He followed me into the living room.

"I`m going to get changed. You can watch TV or a DVD. Just don`t annoy me any more or you`re out." Jacob gave a humorless bark of laughter and sat down.

"Fine by me." He relaxed back on the sofa with the remote in his hand. It was so weird seeing him sit there like he owned the place.

After I had changed into my nicest PJs I joined Jacob in the living room. He scanned my body slowly, his eyes resting on my chest a little longer than usual. He cleared his throat awkwardly before shifting down the sofa to give me some room.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked him, heading for the DVDs instead of sitting down. I felt nervous. I knew that if he wanted to initiate a make out session I wasn`t going to say no any time soon.

"What you want. I don`t really care." He sounded bored. Like I gave a fuck. He was the one who wanted to stay here when he could have left.

"Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo?" I held out the DVD for his inspection. He looked at me like I was nuts. I smirked at him.

"You actually own that!" He asked incredulously.

"Eh Yeah! How about Fame?"

"Fuck no!"

"White Nights?"

"White what?"

"Footloose?"

"No!"

"Flashdance?" I was giggling now.

"Do have any movies not about dancing?"

"You choose then." I went and sat on the sofa as Jacob sighed and rummaged through my DVD collection. Every so often he would snort at what he found.

"You have the shittiest taste in movies ever!"

"That`s a matter of opinion. Scarface is in there somewhere."

"I never saw it." He held out the Scarface DVD. It was now my turn to be shocked.

"You have never seen Scarface! What rock have you been living under?"

He put in the DVD and we watched it in silence. I told Jacob to help himself to what was in the kitchen which he took extremely to heart. I had lost count of how many sandwiches he ate. I was careful not to touch him during the entire time. Once my thigh accidentally brushed off his and I felt like I had been electrocuted a little. Jacob had also jumped a little with that so I knew I didn`t imagine it.

"Bella would like this movie." Jacob said suddenly, during the scene where Tony`s sister Gina confronts him over the murder of Manny and his incestual feelings about her. I was jealous and angry that he brought that girl up but I kept my cool.

"Mmmhumm. Lots of people do." I said distractedly. Like I gave a shit what that Bella girl thought about anything.

"Yeah but Bella...Bella has great taste." Sure didn`t look like she did with that crappy outfit she was wearing when I saw her. I bit my tongue at that one but decided to annoy Jake a little.

"Sure didn`t seem like it to me." I said, still looking straight ahead at the movie. I felt Jake shift and look at me. "Or maybe she does. I think I know why she is with that guy now."

"What are you talking about?" Jacob asked. I could hear the anger in his voice.

"You know, that creepy handsome guy with the cold skin and gold eyes. Edgar or whatever. The one with the really expensive clothes. She was smart to snag him." Jacob turned away from me and shook his head.

"You think that bloo- that asshole is handsome?" Did he sound oddly jealous of that.

"He would be if he was more natural looking." I said, putting as much boredom into my voice as possible. He was just too easy.

"But what did you mean about Bella?" He persisted.

"I don`t know her Jacob."

"Yeah but you said something how you thought she didn`t have taste." God he was such a chick.

"Forget it Jacob."

"I won`t! I won`t have you talking shit about Bella." He stood up and towered over me.

"I didn`t say anything about her! God Jacob!" I put my head in my hands warily.

"And you. You! think that Edward is hot! Fucking sick!" Okay he was officially nuts.

"I don`t think he`s hot! He`s fucking repulsive if you want to know the truth. That`s why I said Bella had bad taste! Now I know why she likes you." I added nastily standing up.

"You think I`m repulsive." He actually pointed to himself.

"Right now yeah."

"Fuck you!" He hollered at me.

"Which position?" I screamed back.

We stared each other down for a couple of seconds. Before I knew what was happening Jacob had me pinned against the wall with his hot body. We were both breathing heavily. Jacob`s black eyes bored into my own. He looked utterly animalistic as he roamed my face and body greedily with his eyes before putting his face just a breath away from my own. Oh God I was so turned on and scared shitless. It felt so right. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

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	7. Chapter 7

**I am so happy that so many people like where I am taking this story! Thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews. **

**Here`s chapter seven. Happy reading.**

"You shouldn`t try and bait me like that Sonia." Jacob breathed into my ear. I got the feeling he was smelling me as well. "I might turn nasty." His hold on my arms and his close proximity made me feel on fire. I wanted him nasty. He was so hot this way.

"I don`t bait Jacob. It`s not my fault that you are hung up on some chick that doesn`t want you." I didn`t want him to move away. I wanted him to kiss me cause I sure as hell wasn`t going to try and kiss him first.

"Which chick would that be Sonia? Cause Bella definitely wants me. And you...I can smell how much you want me at the moment." He sniggered scornfully into my hair as he pressed his body into mine. I could feel his rock hard erection as he ground himself into my lower abdomen. I got impossibly wetter and he sniggered again. I had never wanted to make love to somebody in my life as much as I wanted to make love to Jacob right now. This was crazy. I couldn`t say anything.

"I didn`t think you would be this easy Sonia. I`m not even nice to you and already you are dropping your panties like some slut. At least Bella shows some restraint." He made to lift my top but I kneed him in the groin with as much force as I could muster. I was beyond angry. I was livid. How FUCKING DARE HE? He made a strange strangled noise and collapsed to the floor cupping his balls. His face had turned red, whether from the pain or anger I didn`t know and I couldn`t care less.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU PRICK!" I screamed at him, throwing anything I could find at him. "GET OUT! OUT!" I continued hurling random objects at him until he finally picked himself up off the floor. He was shaking furiously, looking at me like he wanted to strangle me with his own hands. To my shame I found that I was crying. I hate him so much.

"I`M LEAVING!" He hollered right into my face. He almost tore the front door off its hinges in his haste to leave. Fucker didn`t even bother to close it. I saw him get into his car and speed away. I slammed the door shut and slumped against it crying. Nobody had made me feel that way in my life. So worthless. So slutty. Did he really think that I had no self respect? I felt ashamed because I knew I would have had sex with him if he had went about it the right way. I would have given my virginity to a guy that I hate and inexplicably loved at the same time. I need to be resolute. I would never let him get that close to me again. I would ignore him from now on. It would be as if he didn`t exist. In the past week he had brought me nothing but bullshit and heartache. I am strong. I am not weak. I can resist him.

I got off the floor and went to tidy the living room. DVD boxes, books, magazines and two broken plates littered the floor and the coffee table had been over turned. At least I didn`t throw anything valuable. After I had tidied up I made myself a cup of tea and ran a bath. I still felt on edge. That stupid pulling feeling had returned. Maybe it was stress? Whatever it was it was annoying.

I got undressed and looked at myself in the full length mirror in my bedroom. I knew I had a nice body. Maybe my boobs were a little on the small side but they were a nice round shape. I scrutinized my face and hair. I had black almond shaped eyes framed with long inky black eyelashes that I had inherited from my mom. High cheekbones and a nice not too strong nose. My lips were a nice cupid`s bow shape. Delicate and dark pink and not too big. My hair was jet black and not really that thick. It just hung straight to my shoulder blades. I decided I was going to cut it. If that Bella girl had long hair than I was going to have short hair. I would get my mom to do it tomorrow after I finished work.

I stayed in the bath long after the water had turned tepid. When my red-brown skin started to erupt in goosebumps I decided to get out and get my act together. I didn`t want my mom and nana being suspicious when they came home. I turned the TV on and sat down with a bowl of homemade tomato soup and watched Jersey Shore. I found it relaxing to engross myself in the drama that was Ron and Sammie`s relationship. Maybe me and Jacob would be like that if we ever got together. We were two people who just didn`t fit. We weren`t good for each other. Then again, Jacob didn`t want any relationship with me. He just wanted to get laid and figured I would be easy. He admitted as much earlier in my living room. I knew I should just forget it but why couldn`t I? I had never been so humiliated. Maybe I should move to the Jersey Shore. Life looked so much simpler there. Drink, screw, fight. Drink, screw, fight. Easy. I was broken out of my daydreams by the house phone ringing. I sighed as I got up to answer it. If it was Jacob I would geld him.

"Hello." I answered.

"HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO JAKE!" A high voice shouted down the phone startling me a little. Who the fuck?

"Who is this?"

"Bella. Jake`s best friend. How DARE you hurt him like that! Do you know how upset he is over you? You are nothing but trash. You don`t deserve him!" Bella was calling my house? URGGH I wanted to kill something.

"How dare I? HOW DARE YOU FUCKING CALL HERE! Listen to me sweetheart. Call me again and I will kick your ass. UNDERSTAND!" I couldn`t hear anything for a while.

"I`ll kick your ass. Stay away from Jake." This chick is unreal.

"I`d like to see you try." I laughed down the phone at her.

"Don`t laugh at me." She screeched. I laughed harder.

"I mean IT!" She screamed. I was doubled over by now.

"Oh wow." I said wiping away some tears. "The next time I see you get ready for a fight Bella. Tell Jake for me when you are sucking his cock that I would rather fuck your ugly boyfriend than him a million times over." She started to say something but I hung up.

"That was EPIC. High five me." A girls voice came from my back door in the kitchen. I spun around and saw Leah Clearwater standing at the door.

"Leah! You frightened the Bejaysus out of me. Come in." I opened the back door and led her inside. I high fived her as she came in.

"Thank you. So so much." What was she thanking me for?

"What are you doing here?" I was curious. We knew each other but weren`t really that close.

"I just came around to personally congratulate you on kneeing Jake in the balls. I heard he actually had an erection when you did it." She laughed with glee. "Can I shake your hand? You are my new hero." I laughed good naturedly along with her and took her hand. Her skin was just as hot as Jacob`s.

"Was that Bella on the phone?"

"Yeah."

"I so hope you kick her ass. She has it coming."

"She has some nerve. Calling here. Accusing me! Can you believe that?"

"I can. She`s jealous of you because Jake...well he can tell you himself."

"Jealous of me? Because of Jake? He doesn`t even like me Leah." I gave her a can of coke and sat down at the table.

"Oh he likes you. He doesn`t know how to handle a girl like you though."

"What do you mean a girl like me?" What I really mean is he likes me?

"You are so out of his league." That was the nicest compliment I got all day. I smiled at Leah and motioned for her to sit down too.

"Nah, I gotta head. I just wanted to say thanks real quick. I have wanted to kick Jake in his junk since I started hanging out with him."

"No problem. Come by whenever you want. I mean it."

"I will. I mean that too. Bye."

"Bye Leah." She left and I was left alone. The Leah Clearwater, the worlds most coolest, most beautiful and sassy woman, was complimenting me! What a fucking day.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight. Thank you as always to those of you who have reviewed. I so happy to know that you like the story and Sonia. Happy reading.**

"Sonia! Your hair!" Bernie exclaimed as she got into my car come Monday morning. Yesterday I found that my car could magically start again which was strange. I think the powers that be finally decided to cut me a break and make something nice happen to me for once.

"Does it look terrible?" I fidgeted with the soft fringe and tried to pull my bobbed layers longer. When my mother had finished last night I had almost cried at how short it was.

"No it looks great! Really cool." Bernie said with the utmost sincerity. She always told the truth. "It suits you. Why did you cut it in the first place?" She asked, fingering the length.

"I needed a change." I said simply. The great thing about Bernie was that she understood me and didn`t pry when she sensed you didn`t want her too. We had been texting all Sunday about all the Jacob drama so she knew all the shit had gone down.

"I want to cut mine too." She whined.

"Don`t! Your hair is so beautiful. So thick and healthy. I wish I had your Pocahontas hair." And it was true. Bernie had the most beautiful hair on the rez.

"Are you nervous about seeing Jacob today?"

"Yeah. But I think it`s best just to ignore him. I have been in too much trouble and it`s only the beginning of October. I want you guys to ignore him too kay."

"Why suddenly pick on you though? That`s what I don`t understand. It seems like Sam Uley`s little gang are all coupled up. Mated for life by the looks of it. Remember when Jared Cameron disappeared and came back last year. One day he suddenly sees Kim Carrillo and follows her around like a puppy. Now she`s pregnant. I was afraid Jacob was going to brainwash you."

"Oh yeah. They were always making out next to Ollie`s locker. Poor Kim. I don`t think he`s trying to brainwash me."

"Jared is hot though! All of them are!"

"I know right."

"Jacob is just a creep. Plain and simple. He was never that mean before. To anyone. And that girl calling you!"

"Oh my God! I wish I recorded it. I am so gonna kick her ass the next time she shows her face around here."

"Teach her not to mess with us Quileute girls."

"Exactly. _I`m Jake`s best friend. You`re trash. How dare you."_ I mimicked Bella`s stupid voice. Bernie sniggered.

"Going 90`s grunge now? I like it." Bernie nodded appreciatively at my outfit. I was wearing light blue denim shorts over thick black tights and black lace up boots. I was wearing a vintage faded black E.L.O t-shirt I had found during a trip to Seattle with Bernie and a heavy wool cardigan tied at the waist with a scarf. I looked good today. Jacob can eat shit.

"Thanks. You look great today too." Bernie had on a vintage periwinkle blue tea dress with black tights and ballet flats. She was so beautiful.

I pull into the parking lot of La Push tribal school and parked in my usual spot next to Ollie`s beat up Black Toyota. He was leaning against the hood with Chris and Lorraine. Ahh our little group was now complete. We got out of my car and joined the rest.

"`Sup Bernie, Sonia." Chris said, looking up from his math homework for a sec before getting back to work.

"Hey there beautiful girls." Lorraine hugged both me and Bernie. I wasn`t as close to Lorraine and Chris as I was to Bernie or Ollie but they were friends none the less.

We stood around chatting for a couple of minutes about our weekends. I didn`t tell them about Jacob. I didn`t want my business spread. The rumble of a motorcycle made me spin around. It was him. Jacob. His face was stoney as he locked eyes with me for a couple of seconds before I broke it and turned back around. I felt my face blush, the shame from Saturday coming back again. I looked at Bernie who gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Emm...Sonia?" I turned around and saw Paul standing behind me. He had his hands stuffed into his pockets and looked a bit annoyed.

"Yes Paul." I said nicely. We used to be friends after all. I had no problems with him.

"Listen, I know this sounds like bullshit but" He rolled his eyes and huffed out a frustrated breath. "Jacob wants to talk to you." He cringed when he finished. Ollie and Bernie snickered in disbelief. Chris and Lorraine listened interestedly.

"What am I like 12? He`ll be sending me notes next." I scoffed.

"Please Sonia." Paul took my arm and led me away from my friends. "Jake is sorry. He just wants to talk to you." Paul pleaded. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Why should I Paul?"

"Because...this is something that`s out of both your and Jake`s control. I promise he won`t get intense." Shitty explanation.

"I don`t think so Paul." I turned around but Paul pulled me back.

"Wait Sonia. I know this is confusing. Just let Jake explain." I looked into Paul`s eyes. They were pleading. Was this hurting him too?

"The bell has just rang." The students were now filling in the doors.

"I know you want some answers. You won`t rest until you get them. Just hear him out."

"And why can`t he come ask me himself?"

"He`s afraid to."

"Jacob`s afraid of talking to me."

"Not that. He`s afraid you`ll say no."

I spied Jacob leaning against his motorcycle watching me and Paul. His arms were crossed with made his muscles bulge even more than usual. Was he not cold in just a t-shirt? Remember Sonia. He called you a slut. He has no respect for you. I steadied my resolve and turned my attention back to Paul.

"I don`t think so." I said and walked off.

"It will only get worse Sonia." Paul called after me. "The pain. You can feel it. It will only get worse." I turned to him again. I had turned ice cold. How could he possibly know about that?

"I don`t know what you`re talking about." I marched up to the entrance and passed Jacob on my way in. I didn`t spare him a second glance. I couldn`t afford to. He hates you Sonia. He wishes you don`t exist. He`s a psycho.

I made it to English with a minute to spare and sat down next to Ollie.

"What was that about?" He whispered to me.

"Just the usual bullshit." I tensed up as Jacob and Paul came into the classroom. Fuck. I forgot that they were in this class too. Don`t look at him. Don`t look at him. Fuck. Why did I have to look? He was looking at me too. I couldn`t get a read on him. I turned back in my seat and caught Ollie`s eye. He looked pissed. He stared down at his still injured hands in disgust. He must have felt so weak. Emasculated. I took one of his hands in my own and squeezed ever so gently. I heard a growl come from the direction of Jacob`s desk with made myself and the entire class turn and face his direction. Paul, who was sitting beside Jacob, looked mortified. Ollie took his hand out of mine and sighed warily. Jacob was staring daggers at the both of us. I turned my head away from Jacob and stared at the blackboard.

What the hell was I supposed to do? Paul knew about the pain. I hadn`t told anyone that. Not a soul. He said it would only get worse. That Jacob and me couldn`t control what was happening. I needed to talk to him. Lay this shit to rest once and for all.

I turned my head around again and caught his eye. I hoped I communicated that I was relenting and talking to him well enough for the idiot to understand. He nodded once so I took that for a yes. Seems like I`d be skipping a couple of classes today. As soon as English was over I told Ollie I would see him at lunch. He let me go without saying anything. I left by the side entrance of the school and went and stood near Jacob`s motorcycle. He followed not thirty seconds later. We looked at each other wordlessly for a while before Jacob broke it. He took the helmet off the handlebar and handed it to me.

"So where do you want to go?" He asked flatly.

"Can`t we talk here?" I hoped I didn`t sound as nervous as I felt.

"Not unless you want the whole school to witness a fight."

"So it`s going to be one of those conversations. I done fighting with you Jacob." I attempted to hand him back the helmet but he wouldn`t take it. Instead he just swung one long leg over the bike and sat astride on it. He started the ignition and looked at me with eyebrows raised.

"I thought you wanted some answers."

"I do."

"Then get on."

"We`ll miss school."

"So?"

"I`ll be a fool if I go with you." I said honestly. He looked a bit ashamed.

"You`ll be a bigger fool later if you don`t. Come on. I promise I won`t touch you or...whatever."

"Or whatever."

"In or out Sonia?" I took one last look back at the school and then back to Jacob. I `m such a dope. What happened to being strong? He held out the helmet again and I took it. I swung one leg easily over the bike and sat behind Jacob. I guess I would be having him between my legs in way.

"You better hold on Sonia. I won`t burn you." He scoffed at me.

"You`re hot enough." I said, realizing too late the other meaning of my words. Jacob turned around and grinned at me. I stared back at him, challenging him to say something stupid.

"I was going to say the same about you." He said which made me blush, and I don`t easily blush.

"Ready?" He asked, kicking away the stand and balancing the bike with his legs. I took a deep breath.

"Ready."

**Remember to review. It makes the chapters come quicker and the story better.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter nine. I`m so happy with all the reviews and views from the last chapter. I hope this one explains a bit what`s happening. I don`t really want to rush the story. We all know Jake is a wolf but Sonia will find out in a more dramatic way later on. Hope you enjoy and happy reading.**

Jacob was riding this way on purpose. He took every turn sharply with made me hold on to him tighter for fear I would fall off the bike. I could feel him shake with laughter every time he did it. We took the road to second beach, which was always deserted at this time in the morning. I had to admit that the speed and the vibration of the bike, not to mention having myself wrapped around Jacob`s strong body, was extremely erotic. Why did I still want him? There`s no denying that he`s hot but still, the guy was a prick. We came to a halt next to a small path the led into the woods. As soon as Jacob but the bike on the stand I untangled my arms from around his waist and got off. I took off the helmet and smoothed my hair out. I still wanted to look good, no harm in that right? Jacob swiftly got off the bike and stood on the opposite side, looking at me. His eyes roamed my figure before ultimately resting on my face. I stood there looking back and coughed awkwardly. Jacob snapped out of whatever day dream he was in and motioned for me to follow him. He led me to a up turned rowing boat and sat down. I followed suit and sat next to him, putting about two feet between us. I looked out at the green ocean with it`s foamy waves crashing upon the beach. The day was overcast as usual and the wind was beginning to pick up. I cursed myself for not taking my coat with me.

"Are you cold?" Jacob asked.

"It`s a cold day." I replied. How the hell was he not cold in that t-shirt? I studied his skin. He didn`t even have any goosebumps. He felt as hot as hell on the ride here too. Another mystery about Jacob.

"I don`t feel the cold anymore." He said simply, looking out the sea. He looked a bit bitter.

"The reason being?" I pressed. I was genuinely curious.

"Do you know our legends?" The question startled me. I wasn`t expecting that. Of course I knew the legends.

"My nana taught me them when I was younger."

"Did you listen to her?"

"Of course I did."

"Do you remember?"

"I`m pretty sure I do. They`re not that easy to forget." I laughed a little to myself. Jacob raised one eyebrow at me.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because when I was little I told my nana that I wanted to be a spirit warrior. Like Zena warrior princess but I would be Sonia Quileute warrior princess. Sad huh?" Why did I tell him that? Now I feel so embarrassed. I snuck a peak at Jacob, who had a small smile playing around his mouth.

"And what did your nana say to that?"

"She said that that wouldn`t be the role I played. Only the men were spirit warriors. Which is so unfair you know."

"What role did she say you would play?"

"I don`t remember, honestly Jacob. There`s nothing more cooler than being a spirit warrior."

"Do you remember the story of Taha Aki?"

"Yep. He turned into a giant wolf to protect the tribe from a vengeful cold woman. Oh, and went awol after his spirit wife sacrificed herself to save him and the tribe."

"Do you...believe in the legends?" He asked slowly and carefully. Where was he going with this?

"Not anymore."

"You did before?"

"Yes. When I was younger it just felt so real. I was pretty obsessed for a while. I made my nana tell me everything she knew about our history until she snapped. I was convinced that the wolves I heard in the woods were spirit warriors. I wasn`t afraid when I heard them because I knew that they would protect me, mom and nana."

"What if I were to tell you that the legends are true?"

"I would tell you to sell it somewhere else."

Jacob swallowed, looked away and then looked at me again. I waited for him to tell me whatever was playing in his mind. I didn`t mind just sitting here in silence with him. It was a welcome break from all the arguments.

"Do you feel safe when you are with me?" That took me by surprise.

"Is that some sort of trick question?" I accused.

"No it isn`t. I want to know." He pushed. It seemed important.

"Yes, I know that you wouldn`t physically hurt me if that`s what you meant."

"How do you know I wouldn`t?"

"Because beneath the asshole persona you have taken on you are a decent guy. You always have been. I don`t know what`s changed you."

"Do you really believe that? After all the shit I`ve said to you and done to you? How can you still believe I`m a nice guy?" He stood up and stood in front of me. Fuck he was intimidating when he wanted to be.

"Because it`s true Jacob!" I said honestly.

"You`re delusional Sonia. You don`t even know me. Can you even judge my character?"

"La Push is small Jacob. Plus we`ve gone to the same school together all our lives. Don`t think I haven`t noticed you until that day you decided that you hated me." I snapped at him.

"Whatever Sonia." Urgh, he had to start another fight.

"Yeah whatever Jacob. What the hell do you want from me?"

"I want everything from you and I want nothing at the same time! I want...I need you to hate me!"

"You need me to hate you? You`re insane." I shook my head and stood up. Why the hell didn`t I just stay at school?

"Yeah well I hate you Sonia." He actually looked in pain when he said it.

"No you don`t Jacob." I was sure he didn`t hate me. I knew it deep down. I was confident of that.

"I do mean it. I love Bella, not you." Oh God! Bella. Bella. Fucking Bella.

"When did I ever say that you loved me? I never said it! And I couldn`t give two flying fucks about Bella!" I turned and ran as fast as I could away from him. What a jerk off! He should be locked up in some looney bin.

"Sonia wait!" I heard Jacob yell after me. Before I knew what was happening I was lifted into the air and held against Jacob with my back against his front.

"Don`t run away." He growled into my hair. I struggled in his iron grasp to no effect. Oh Fuck. Oh shit. I understood what he wanted now.

"Listen...Jacob...please..." I started sobbing. "Please don`t hurt me..." If he was going to rape me I didn`t stand a chance. There`s no way I could match his strength. Jacob released me immediately and spun me around to face him. He looked panicked, anguished.

"Sonia...oh shit...I`d never hurt you! I could never hurt you like that! Please believe me!" He cupped my face and made me look into his eyes. They were just as black as mine. Filled with pain.

"I don`t know what to believe when it comes to you Jacob. Why can`t you leave me in peace?"

"Because I can`t...and you don`t want me to."

"Bullshit." I sobbed, looking away from him. He dropped his hands from my face. He looked grim.

"I`ll take you home Sonia. Or back to school. Whatever you want." His tone was kinder now.

"I want to go home but my nana will be asking questions."

"Back to school?"

"Ufff, how many classes have we missed?"

"About two. Maybe three." I said nothing. I was thinking.

"We could go...I could take you to mine? Get my dad to call the school and tell them we can`t go today?" Go to Jacob`s house?

"What about my mom? She will go nuts if she knew I skipped."

"I`ll get my dad to call her too." Jacob suggested, kicking some sand with his foot.

"I dunno."

"It will be okay. I promise." Why couldn`t he be nice like this all the time? Even if it was probably faked. Plus I got no answers from him whatsoever! Just more questions.

"Okay then. Your house." Jacob nodded at me and smiled.

"But you better start answering some questions." I said to him as we headed to his bike.

"Whatever you want." He said sadly.

"Good." I said putting on the helmet and climbing on after Jacob.

"Hold on tight." He laughed and he started and bike and took off as fast as he could down the road. I squealed and squeezed my arms around his waist as tight as I could. He was definitely crazy.

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and the chapters come along more quick. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter ten. Hope you like it. I am so happy with all the reviews from all you lovely people. Happy reading.**

When we finally got to Jacob`s house it was starting to rain. His house was just as small as mine but looked in worse condition. You would know that two men lived here. It was lacking a woman`s touch. We sped up to the porch and I entered the house as Jacob held the door open for me. I was nervous. I knew his dad would be thinking as to why his son would be bringing home a random girl in the middle of a school day. I squirmed in embarrassment as I remembered that Jacob would ask his dad to phone the school for us and then my mom. Would he get angry?

Jake? What are you doing home?" I heard Billy Black`s deep voice rumble from somewhere in the kitchen. "Did you talk to her yet?" Who was her? Me? Bella?

"Sonia`s here with me." He said in an almost warning way. He led me into the small kitchen and I was met by Billy Black`s startled and yet almost pleased expression. At least he wasn`t angry.

"Hello Sonia. Nice to finally meet you." He extended his hand and shook mine vigorously. It was a shame he was in a wheelchair and had diabetes. He was still quite handsome for an old man. Maybe my mom would like him?

"Nice to meet you too Mr. Black." I said as politely as I could. He still hadn`t let go of my hand and was looking at me like I was his birthday present. I pushed that creepy thought out of my head and forced a weak smile onto my face.

"I thought I told you before to call me Billy." Oh yeah, the phone call.

"Sorry Billy."

"Don`t worry. How are you?" Why wouldn`t he let go of my hand?

"Dad!" Jacob said pointedly.

"What son?" His eyes flickered to Jacob a bit annoyed.

"Her hand!"

"Oh right...right. Sorry Sweetheart. Would you like something to drink? Something to eat?" He beamed a happy smile up at me and wheeled towards the fridge.

"I no...I`m okay...but thank you." I stuttered out. I never stutter. This whole situation was so weird. Jacob sniggered from the corner he was standing in.

"He won`t take no for an answer Sonia."

"That`s true. At least have a drink." Billy offered. "Coffee, tea, soda, milk?"

"A glass of milk would be nice. If it`s okay."

"Of course it`s okay. Jake, I suppose I need to call the school." Billy said to his son.

"Emm yeah. Can you call for Sonia too. And her mom. Make something up like you had an emergency and you needed me to come over but I needed help so I took Sonia along etc etc."

I wanted the floor to just gobble me up I was so embarrassed. I was expecting Billy to start shouting at this stage. But to my surprise he just nodded his head and asked me for my moms number. Jacob sat me down in his cramped living room and turned the TV on for me. I sat there awkwardly with my glass of lukewarm milk in one hand resting on my knee and the other drumming nervously on the sofa`s arm. What the hell am I doing here? Jacob disappeared into the kitchen. I could hear his and Billy`s hushed voices.

"You didn`t tell her!" Billy boomed. I jumped a little and spilt some milk on my leg.

"Dad! Shush!" Jacob said nervously. They kept their voices low after that. Oh man I want out of here. Jacob returned with a can of soda and a bag of chips. He sat down next to me and I was engulfed by his heat once again.

"Is your dad mad that I`m here?" I asked him in a whisper.

"Did he seem mad to you?" He asked me cheekily.

"No but...doesn`t he think it`s weird that I`m here with you when we should be in school?"

"Nope." He answered in a bored tone, his eyes were glued to the TV.

"He`s really nice." I said honestly.

"I know." He answered just as distractedly as before. I noticed that he was moving his mobile around in his free hand. Am I that boring?

"You`re really lucky to have a dad like him." I said a little sadly. I knew Jacob lost his mother in a terrible car crash almost eight years ago.

"What do you mean?" He said accusatorily.

"That it`s nice to grow up with a dad that actually loves you." I said nastily back. Jacob nodded his head stiffly cleared his throat.

"Why do you hate me?" I asked him. Unable to hold it in any longer. He promised me answers. He stiffened and huffed out a big breath.

"I hate you because I want you. Plain and simple." What? What? What? What?

"There is nothing plain and simple about that Jacob!" I set my glass of milk on the table and faced him fully on the sofa.

"And you say that I`m the stupid one. I want you. I can`t control it and it`s driving me crazy. I love Bella but there`s you screwing it all up by...being you."

"Are you for real?" I was waiting for him to point at me and say "ha ha got ya!".

"Yes." He said seriously.

"So, you love this Bella chick. But you have some sort of a crush on me?"

"No not a crush. And yes I love Bella."

"If not a crush then what?" Part of me was jumping for joy that Jacob liked me.

"Some a helluva lot more than a crush. Something that is consuming me. And you. It`s primal. It`s destined." He might as well have been speaking in tongues for all the sense he was making. How did he know about my feelings though? Am I that obvious? Jacob moved closer to me on the sofa and I could feel his hot breath on my face. I wanted to jump him there and then.

"So what Jacob?" I started in a whisper, moving my mouth to his ear. "You want to fuck me real bad or something?" I saw his skin blush a little darker at this. If it was instinctual I didn`t know but, I had a feeling I knew how to turn Jacob on. What things to say. What way to touch him. One of his huge hands moved to my leg and squeezed gently. Causing me to basically cream my underwear with the sudden excitement. Seemed like Jacob knew what to do as well. I wanted to hump him right now on this tiny sofa. My clit was starting to throb painfully. Oh God.

Jacob brushed my hair delicately away from my ear and trailed his fingers along my neck. That felt so good that I had to stifle a moan. I could feel his lips and nose trail along my cheek and ear. I looked down and saw a huge bulge in his jeans. I was oddly pleased with the effect a couple of words could have on him.

"Do you know how good you smell right now? I know you want it too, as much as I do. When it comes to this.." Jacob trailed his free hand up my thigh and stopped short of my crotch "me and you want the same things. It`s just a matter of time." Stop it now Sonia. Stop it now!

"You are so sure of yourself aren`t you?" I whispered at his mouth now. So tempting. All I had to do was move in a little closer.

"I am sure." He chuckled a little, trying to draw my mouth to his. I turned and his lips grazed my cheek instead.

"How do you know I`m sure? How do you know what I want?" I challenged, biting and sucking on the lobe of his ear suddenly, which made him emit a faint growl from deep inside his chest. He pushed me down on the sofa with the weight of his body and looked me in the eye. He eyes read sheer, unadulterated lust and want. God knows what he saw in mine.

"It`s my job to know what you want. What you need. What you desire." He tried to kiss me again but I moved my head away. "Don`t play games with me." He growled playfully. He was loving it. So was I.

"So tell me Jacob." I shifted my body more under him and trailed a finger across the bare flash of skin exposed between his t-shirt and jeans. "If you love this Bella so much, why are you ready to fuck a little slut like me?" He cupped my face in his hands so I couldn`t move my head away from him.

"Because if I don`t kiss you I am going to go insane. If I don`t have you I won`t be complete." He slowly lowered his mouth onto mine. It was electrifing. It was right. It was perfect. It was..

"JAKE!" A voice screamed.

Oh GOD. Not HER! Jacob jumped off me like he had been dosed in ice water. I sat up on the sofa and shot daggers at the little moron who had just ruined the sexiest moment of my life. Jacob stood and faced Bella.

"What...what are you doing?" She started to sob. "With her." She pointed at me with a shaking hand.

"Bella..it`s not what you think!" Jacob started to apologize. Fucking jerk. Fuck him.

"It`s exactly what you think Bella." I said in a sweet honey voice. Jacob looked at me horrified.

"But she...what about...oh why Jake?" She sobbed again and fled the room.

"Why did you have to say that!" Jacob yelled at me like everything that happened was all my fault. He didn`t even wait for an answer before he shot off after the little bitch. I got off the sofa and and collected my bag from the hall with a deadly calm. Billy had wheeled out of the kitchen by then and was watching Jacob trying to calm Bella down by the open door. He looked up at me sadly.

"I`m sorry Sonia."

"It`s okay. Nothing to be sorry about. Well, it was nice meeting you."

"I hope to see you again soon." He said ernestly.

"I don`t know. Thanks again...for the milk, and calling my mom and the school."

"No problem. If you have any problems you come to me you hear." My heart bled a little by his kindness.

"I`ll see. Bye Billy."

"Bye Sonia."

I left the house and headed for the main road, passing Jacob and Bella without a backward look. I had no idea what I was feeling at the moment. I just felt horribly empty.

"Sonia." I heard Bella call after me. When I had turned around I was confronted by Bella`s attempt to slap my face. I stepped back quickly and she stumbled forward onto me, trying to grab my cardigan to steady herself. I pushed her roughly away from me and she fell smack on her ass on the wet ground. I was ready to kill her.

"Didn`t I say I would kick your ass if I saw you again." I said in my most menacing voice. I dropped my school bag and walked towards her. She was scared shitless. I could see it written plainly in her face. In a flash Jacob was between the two of us. Shielding Bella from me with his massive body.

"Don`t you dare hurt her Sonia!" He said quietly. But there was an underlying treat in his voice that made me pissed beyond belief.

"It`s between me and her Jacob." I looked at him in hatred. He did it to me again. He made me feel as worthless and slutty as the first time.

"Just go Sonia." Jacob said warily. I was hurt. He was choosing her over me. It hurt like hell.

"Until the next time you decide you want me? You won`t get another chance like you got today Jacob. You`ve blown it." Now it was his turn to look angry. And scared. I turned my attention to Bella.

"This isn`t over. You won`t have Jacob protecting you all the time." I picked up my bag and left. Of all the shit. I just had to do it again.

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11. I am amazed at the positive reviews I have been getting. Thanks so much. Hope you enjoy this chapter. No Jacob (sorry) but I feel that the things here needed to be written. Happy reading.**

I was fuming. Shaking with anger. I heard Jacob call out after me once to hold on a second. When I heard Bella start to cry again his attempts at following me were abandoned. I couldn`t believe how foolish I had been. Why did I have to go back with him to his house? I understood that I had some deep need, a yearning to be close to him. I felt so alive when I was around him that when I wasn`t I felt somewhat cold. Like I was missing a vital part of myself I never knew I was missing until the day he looked at me. I knew it wasn`t an obsession. It was something different. Something I didn`t understand yet but understood perfectly. I was certain Jacob knew what was going on. He was just as crazy as I was. I was also pretty positive that he didn`t want to tell me. I stomped down his muddy drive, effectively ruining my boots and thought back to what had happened, or could have happened, before Bella had interrupted us.

He loved Bella but he couldn`t stay away from me. It was more than a crush that he was feeling. I didn`t have a crush on Jacob. I loved him in a crazy way. I didn`t get giddy or excited when I saw him. I felt complete. Plain and simple. I wanted him to love me back. I wanted him to like me for me. He said he wanted me to hate him. I could never hate Jacob. I could hate him for all the stupid, dickish things he did or said but I could never truly hate him. I knew it was impossible. Oh my God! I would have had sex with him right there on his sofa with Billy in the other room. He probably heard everything! Oh man! He must think that I`m a total slut now. I kicked at the mud furiously, causing it to splatter in every direction and stain my tights brown. Fucking Jacob! I let out a scream of frustration into the now howling wind. Of all the shit that had to happen to me, he was the worst. He drew me to him and I couldn`t control it. He made me feel things I had never felt before for any boy and I welcomed it. Why not before? Why now? The rain had throughly soaked me by now and I didn`t care. Rage and jealousy were still battling it out for dominance inside of me, making my blood boil. Jacob was mine. Bella was a threat to me. It was so clear that it shocked me. Jacob belonged with me. He was mine and I was his. I made the snap decision to go back to his house and claim him. I would fuck him in front of Bella if needs be. He was MINE!

Before I could make it about twenty feet I heard a car beep behind me. To my complete shock I saw my nana`s ancient Volkswagen Beetle come to a screeching halt beside me, effectively splattering more mud on me. Fuck me! I had never seen her drive so fast. Or look so worried. She must be psychic or something. She always knew when I was in trouble. I kept looking between her car and the direction of Jacob`s house unable to make up my mind.

"Sonia get in the car!" My nana yelled, opening her door and getting out. Why did she look so frightened? I knew it was best to do as she said now. I don`t think going back to Jacob`s was such a good idea after everything.

I got in and sat stiffly on the seat. The tugging feeling was back full force and I got the horrible feeling that there were multiple eyes watching me, hidden in the trees in the forest. Overall I felt unsettled, angry, ashamed and still a bit turned on from my earlier escapade with Jacob. My nana had difficulty starting up the old engine but she got there in the end.

"Are you mad at me nana?" I asked her when she hadn`t said anything for a long time.

"I`m not mad at you Sonia. I`m mad at that...boy for dragging you into this." She answered me quietly. So I`m not in trouble. That`s a welcome break. We lapsed into another long silence.

"My car is still at school." I told her. I had just remembered about it.

"Bernie drove it back for you, don`t worry." Thank God I had given Bernie my spare keys in case I lost mine. She would defiantly be wondering what the hell I had gotten up to today.

"I`m sorry nana." I meant it. I hated seeing my nana upset or cross.

"You shouldn`t be sorry about anything Sonia...did Jacob tell you?" Tell me what?

"He told me nothing that made any sense. He...he said that he hates me." I felt the tears begin to shed. Ahh shit. Why do I have to cry over him? My nana took hold of my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"He doesn`t hate you Sonia. He didn`t tell you anything shocking did he?" Shocking? The fact that he wants to fuck me? Not really shocking. Me being hot and him being a guy really that wasn`t that surprising.

"No, why?" I had a funny feeling my nana knew what was going on.

"No reason darling. You just looked upset when I came to pick you up."

"How did you know I was there?"

"Billy called me after he called your mom."

"Why are you so worried?"

"I can`t remember now. I was just angry that you skipped school is all." That was the worst lie my nana had ever told but I decided now that I would let it rest. I was lucky I wasn`t being yelled at and grounded. Fuck! I didn`t know what Billy told my mom and nana!

"Billy said he was feeling pretty sick from the diabetes. Good thing you were with Jacob when he got the call." My nana said pointedly.

"Yeah...Jacob was pretty upset." I said carefully. She so knew what was really going on. She gave me a knowing look.

She didn`t start anymore conversations on our way home. Nor did I. I knew when my nana was finished with a topic and there was no use trying to probe her for information. My mind drifted back to Jacob. I wondered what he was doing now. Maybe he was still with Bella. The thoughts of the two of them making out and having sex made me dig my nails into my palm painfully. The thought was heartbreaking. I cringed inwardly at my idiocy and selfishness. Who was I to say who Jacob could and couldn`t sleep with? Who was I to want him to love me? Who was I to lay some obsessive claim to him when I didn`t even know him?

By the time we arrived home I was feeling so conflicted and a little depressed. After showering and devouring two avocado and chicken sandwiches I sat down to do my homework, which Bernie had brought home for me as well as my car. The maths was as confusing and as difficult as hell but I got through it in the end. I was determined to keep my mind off Jacob. If doing my homework perfectly for once was the answer then I grabbed at it. I made sure to write everything out slowly and in my best handwriting to drag out the time. It only took about an hour and a half.

After I had finished I wandered into my nana`s room to find her reading something at her desk. When she heard me enter she smiled and patted her bed to make me sit. She wanted to tell me something. I sat crossed legged the edge of the bed and gave her my full attention.

"Do you love Jacob Black?" The question almost made me topple of the bed in shock.

"Nana!" I whined. Shit! She knew.

"Sonia, there is no need to get upset. Did you...sleep with him yet?" Oh God! This just keeps on getting worse and worse.

"NO!" I shouted. I almost did though. But my nana didn`t need to know that.

"Good...that`s good." She seemed so relieved. "Promise me you won`t before...before he tells you."

"Tells me what? What is the big secret?" I was getting angry. I hate not knowing!

"There is no secret Sonia." My nana lied. What the fuck? She knew I knew she was lying. She wanted me to know she was lying. What game is she playing.

"Okay, so there`s no secret." I decided to play along. If my nana wanted to tell me out straight then she would. There was a reason why she wasn`t telling me. I trusted her.

"Sonia, promise me again." She pleaded. What was going on?

"I promise nana. There isn`t any chance of that happening ever." I laughed. Jacob had made his choice.

"I wouldn`t be so sure of that. It`s only a matter of time." Euugh. Gross. I so didn`t want the sex talk from my nana.

"I`m not giving my virginity to Jacob Black of all people. So don`t worry."

"So you`re still a virgin." She stated. If it was possible she looked a bit worried.

"Emm. Yeah." I admitted. I wasn`t going to sleep with some dick who just wanted me for my looks. I wanted the person I lost my virginity to to actually like me. For me. For Sonia. I figured that I would eventually lose it to Ollie sometime. I trusted him. He was good looking. Now, that feeling had changed. I didn`t see any other guy now. I was under Jacob`s spell.

"Nana?"

"Yes darling?"

"Am I in some sort of danger?"

"No sweetheart. Jacob would never let anything hurt you." How did she know that? And seem so certain of it at the same time.

"But he could hurt me?" She took her time answering that one.

"He could. He could hurt you more than anyone could."

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and the chapters come along a lot quicker. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12. Sorry it took me a while to write. Got in pretty late last night. Thanks so much for all the great reviews for the last chapter. I am glad so many people like the story and Sonia. I take all your suggestions and critiques into account whenever I write so keep reviewing. Thanks again and happy reading!**

Jacob tried talking to me at school the whole week and I was proud to admit I was strong enough to ignore him. I`ve had enough of whatever game he was playing. When he wanted to tell me what was going on I would listen, but until then he could eat shit. He was not justified in being angry with me. If his little girlfriend had caught him cheating than it was his fault, not mine. I was still going to kick her ass though. There was no question about that.

I would catch him staring at me a lot during this time. His face would always be stoney, his eyes guarded as they travelled along my body and face before meeting my own. They ignited a compulsion within me to go to him and give him anything he wanted. But, he didn`t want me. Not in the way I wanted him. I wasn`t a slut, contrary to what Jacob believes. Embry, Quil, Paul and little-big Seth Clearwater gave me much more attention now. They would quietly greet me in the hallways or where ever else we met. I was paranoid about that at first. Maybe Jacob had told them what we had almost done and they wanted a piece of the action as well. My fears grew dimmer after a couple of days. They looked at me with nothing but respect. Ollie told me on Thursday that a lot of the boys at school were afraid to look at me because, as he put it, "Jacob had marked his territory." Which made me an odd mix of delighted and annoyed. What was he? Some type of dog? He would be pissing on my leg next.

Come Friday I was grocery shopping with my mom after my ballet class. It was nice to be doing something as mundane as this after the craziness of the past two weeks. I noticed my mom and nana were acting particularly careful around me. Sometimes giving me strange looks and stopping hushed conversations when I walked into the room they were in. I tried for the sake of my sanity not to think about it so much. Maybe they thought I was losing it and they were considering sending me to an asylum.

While I was pondering over whether I needed super tampons or just plain regular for my forthcoming period, a voice startled me from behind.

"Sonia, what a nice surprise!" Billy Black said cheerfully, making me jump with shock and drop the super tampons into the shopping basket he had resting on his lap. I must have turned scarlet with the embarrassment.

"Mr. Black...I mean Billy...Em...hi." I stuttered out again. I hastily grabbed the tampons from the basket and shoved them back on the shelve. Billy was smiling pleasantly up at me, not making any motion to get going. If he was here that meant that...Sure enough, Jacob rounded the corner of the aisle slowly, his eyes instantly locking with my own. His face read indifference but his eyes read an intensity as they held mine. I felt my body burn from his heat, even though I was standing a couple of feet away from him.

"Sonia." He greeted stiffly.

"Jacob." I greeted back awkwardly, fiddling with the rings on my fingers.

"How have you been?" Billy asked me, looked like I couldn`t escape any time soon.

"Good. And you?" I said shyly.

"Good too." He answered brightly. I snuck a peek at Jacob, who was looking as bored as ever. I rolled my eyes inwardly at him.

"Emm...well...my mom must be looking..."

"Billy! So nice to see you!" My mom`s voice bellowed from the opposite end of the aisle. She wheeled her trolly towards us with the biggest smile plastered on her beautiful face. It was rather scary.

"Grace. What a coincidence!" Billy replied back, just as fake. What is going on?

"Hello Jacob. Gosh! You seem to be growing everyday! What a handsome man you are turning into." Any embarrassment I felt because of my mom evaporated at the look of complete shock and awkwardness on Jacob`s face. He looked so uncomfortable.

"He has a hefty appetite." Billy praised his only son, who only looked the more mortified.

"I wish Sonia did." Fuck mom. SHUT UP! "I have to remind her to eat sometimes. You know girls and their bodies." SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP "Last year she went on some crazy diet to lose some weight because some idiot ballet instructor told her that her hips were a little big.."

"MOM!" I whisper shouted. Oh man the shame. Why did she have to say that stuff in front of Jacob? I glared at her when she turned to face me. She gave me a smirk and the "What did I do?" eyes.

"Pish posh Sonia, you`re not the only girl to have body issues." Okay she had seriously lost her mind. I wanted to murder her. I chanced a peek at Jacob, who was looking at my hips and frowning. If he made any comment I would kill him.

"Ah now..Jacob has his fair share of issues." Billy started. Now it was Jacob`s turn to look mortified. Ha! take that asshole. "There used to be this one girl, he did everything for her, still does, but she doesn`t appri..."

"DAD!" Jacob boomed. He looked so pissed. Part of me felt kinda sorry for him. I knew straight away that the girl Billy was talking about was Bella.

"Come on Jacob. You not the first and definitely not the last person to be screwed over." I whispered up at him when our parents wheeled and walked down the aisle chatting. He locked eyes with me. Fury was brewing in them but I stared back defiantly, challenging him to say the contrary. He knew I was right.

"You know shit Sonia!" He hissed down at me.

"So you keep telling me hot stuff." I said sweetly up at him. His eyes swept my figure again, he was going to say something before he abruptly turned his head in the direction of our parents and muttered an "Aw shit" under his breath.

"Sonia, we`re going over to Billy`s for dinner tonight! Isn`t that fun?" My mom called in my direction. Oh NO! NO! NO! Not fun mom! Totally not fun! Bad! This is so bad!

"Eh...yeah." I called back.

"Yeah..super Sonia." Jacob said nastily.

"Listen Jacob. Let`s agree to be civil tonight. Normal. Because if you embarrass me or say anything about me in front of my mom I`ll...I dunno...smash that moronic face of yours in."

"You think the worst of me Sonia." Jacob said bitterly.

"Because you want me too." I snapped up at him before following my mom to the cash register in such an agitated state that I felt like I was going to scream.

"You better be on your best behavior tonight!" My mother warned me as we drove home. "No more fighting with Jacob." How the hell did she know?

"Mom you don`t understand! You don`t know Jacob! He is such a...eurrgghhh! He`s is so..."

"Sonia stop it! You are going to behave! Understand?" My mom said angrily.

"Yes mom." I said, defeated. Even if I claimed illness, my mom would still make me go to this crazy dinner. She didn`t even really know Billy Black! We had never been to their house before. Well, I remember going as a child for Jacob`s birthday parties. Oh crap, how did I forget that? But whatever, our families had never been dinner close.

When we got home my mom put me straight to work making tuna with peppers and tomatoes and a Pavlova with strawberries and cream. I knew she was making me do it so she could sing my praises to Billy when we went to his place later on. She was so obvious. That or she thought that I was too stupid to realize what was going on. I didn`t know what was going on but it wasn`t because I was stupid! It was because nobody would tell me!

My nana wouldn`t be coming tonight. She was having her bridge night with her gang of little old women. She wished me luck and told me to dress in something that didn`t make me look like a street walker. I eventually chose a floral babydoll top with a yellow cardigan and light blue skinny jeans. My mom commented that I looked somewhat decent for a change. She was dressed up a bit. She was only thirty-six, she was still young, but she could give a woman ten years younger a run for her money in the looks and body department. I got most of my looks from her, although I was about two inches taller and had my dad`s nose and mouth. She would sometimes say that when I smirked I looked uncannily like him. I didn`t know a smirk ran in ones genes.

We drove to the Blacks house in a strained silence. My mom was really giddy. I was starting to wonder if she had a crush on Billy. I don`t think I could handle it if she ever got together with him. I didn`t want Jacob as my step-brother. When we pulled up I saw a Forks Police cruiser parked next to Billy`s Chevrolet pick-up. Oh God! Was there some type of accident? Is Jacob okay? My mom seemed totally unconcerned with the whole situation. If anything her face actually lit up when she saw it.

"Oh...Charlie is here." She said in a voice that belonged to a sixteen year old. Who the fuck is Charlie?

"Who?" I asked but she ignored me and got out of the car carrying the Pavlova, leaving me to carry the fish. I slammed the door shut with a little too much force as I followed her inside. Billy was waiting at the door and gave my mom a wink and a smile as they shook hands. Em gross. I was beginning to get freaked out now. Billy looked at me apologetically as we greeted each other.

"Jake! You haven`t greeted our guests." Billy called over his shoulder. Jake`s hulking figure emerged from the living room. He shook hands with my mom and greeted her politely before turning to me.

"Hey Sonia." He said with a hint of sullenness in his voice.

"Hi Jacob." I said back stiffly.

"Come on in now to the kitchen. Charlie is here Grace...with his daughter Bella." Billy said. Bella? She was here? I felt like I had swallowed poison as she came out of the living room and stood behind Jacob nervously. She gave me a defiant look. Bitch was brave when she had someone protecting her.

"Sonia, you`ve met Bella." Billy said carefully, probably for the benefit of my mother who had no idea of the shit that had gone down between the three of us.

"I have, but it was too short. I really wished I had more time the last time we met.." I fixed her with a malevolent stare that made her cringe. "..to get to know you better." Jacob shifted uncomfortably between us. Still protecting her. What a loser.

"Emm...yeah...I know." Bella said in a rather flat voice. Like Jake she was too easy. Did she really think that I was stupid enough to beat her up in front of all these adults. Plus her dad was a cop! I was going to have so much fun winding her up tonight. Billy wheeled into the kitchen followed by my mom, Jacob, who led Bella behind him by the hand, and me. I poked her in the back with made her jump and squeak. Jacob gave me a hard look which I turned with an air kiss.

Charlie Swan, Bella`s dad, turned out to be a really nice guy. When he saw my mom his face lit up considerably. He seemed shy of her. But it was undeniable that he liked her. A lot. And so did she. When the hell did they meet? If Bella wasn`t his daughter they would have had my full blessing. Why is life so unfair?

I sat beside my mom and Jacob during dinner. Bella was basically latched onto Jacob for the whole dinner. She seemed so nervous. So weak. I wanted to punch her when she answered my mom`s questions quite rudely. I decided because of that I would be super nice to her dad.

"So Sonia. How is school?" Charlie asked me.

"It`s okay. How`s the Police force?" Charlie gave a hearty chuckle.

"It`s okay too. What`s your favorite subject?"

"Emm...I suppose gym and then Spanish."

"Strange combo. I have never met a teenager who liked gym."

"She has a lot of energy. Always had. Since she was a baby." My mom pipped in, smoothing my hair.

"Billy said that you dance."

"Yep, ballet. Since I was four." I glanced at Jacob, he was holding hands with Bella under the table.

"She is very talented too. It`s the only thing she likes." My mom said again. She produced her iPhone. Oh no mom. Don`t show the pictures! And please not the videos! Ah crap.

"Look, this is her dancing Odette in Swan Lake last year. She was so happy she got the lead." Billy, Charlie and my mom watched the video while me, Jacob and Bella sat in silence.

"Don`t you want to watch guys?" Charlie asked.

"I hate ballet." Jacob said dismisively. Disappointment and sadness coursed through me. Get over it Sonia. He doesn`t like you.

"I never really got ballet to be honest." Bella said quietly. Kill her Sonia. Do it now.

"Jacob! That`s not very nice." Billy said with anger coloring his voice.

"Don`t worry about it Billy." I said, trying to save face. "I think only certain people get the beauty and the grace of dancing." I took another bite of the tuna to show I was done with the topic. Jacob had hoovered down several portions of it. Bella had barely touched hers.

After that we had the pavlova. Billy couldn`t have any on account of his diabetes. Bella again didn`t eat any of it. After the desert was done the oldies went to the living room and left the youngsters to clean up. When I came back from the bathroom I found Bella and Jacob were nowhere to be found and a heap of dishes left to clean. Fucking Jerks. Who leaves one person to do the dishes? No matter how much you hate them.

I could hear my mom laughing away like a schoolgirl in the living room at some stupid joke Charlie told. I turned the radio on to distract me from my anger and got to washing the dishes. Hall and Oates Out of touch was playing. Ahh Hall and Oates. My guilty pleasure. I wondered where Jacob and Bella had gone off to. I sure as hell wasn`t going looking for them.

When I had finished I sat down at the now spotless kitchen table with a boring fishing magazine and a spoon and ate the rest of the dessert. Bella and Jacob finally decided to show their faces. She looked happy about something, Jacob looked a bit grim. I gave them only one look as they came in and focused my attention back on the magazine. I was so angry they left me to clean up on my own. Bella switched off the radio in the middle of Fleetwood Mac`s Little Lies.

"I was listening to that." I said without looking up from the magazine.

"This is my house Sonia." Jacob retorted. I shrugged and turned the page of the magazine.

"Whatever hot lips." I smirked up at him. Bella`s pale cheeks flashed an ugly shade of red.

"I think that tuna was bad." Bella said suddenly. Bitch was lying. The tuna was perfect.

"Really? You hardly touched it dear." I said sweetly.

"Maybe." Said Jacob.

"You sure ate enough of it." I said cheekily. Those two were so lame.

"I would eat anything." Jacob snapped back.

"I`ll be sure to tell my mom that." I said sadly. Jacob looked remorseful. Fucking idiot.

"Who cleaned up?" Jacob decided to change the subject. "Billy and Charlie?"

"I did. Thanks for the help by the way. Now you don`t get the leftovers." I got up from the table and stalked into the living room to join the others. They were much better than those two assholes in the kitchen.

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and the next updates quicker. **


	13. Chapter 13

I stayed in the living room with my mom, Billy and Charlie. Charlie and my mom were looking at each other like two love struck teens. Why did he have to be Bella`s dad? I would choose Jacob as a step sibling over Bella any day of the week. Billy would look at me every so often. A look I couldn`t really decipher. Jacob and Bella kept to themselves in the kitchen and didn`t really venture into the living room.

"Do you have a boyfriend Sonia?" Charlie asked me. I shook my head smiling.

"Not for a while." My mom said for me.

"A beautiful girl like you. I don`t believe it. Well, at least you are saving your mother a lot of worry." Charlie said graciously. I giggled a little. Billy remained silent in his wheelchair.

"My mom invents things to be worried over." I joked.

"I do not Sonia!" My mom giggled. Oh man this is so weird.

"So, how long have Bella and Jacob been dating?" I asked Billy directly, which caused both him and Charlie to choke on their beers.

"They are not dating." Billy said. I knew that already but I was just probing for information.

"Really? Humm." I said thoughtfully.

"Bella has a boyfriend. She and Jake are just good friends." Billy said stiffly.

"Yeah..Edward Cullen. I wish she and Jacob were dating though. They are so good together." Charlie said quietly. I was all ears.

"She made her choice Charlie." Billy said with a note of finality in his voice.

"I know I know." Looks like I won`t be hearing any more about that subject any time soon.

"Why don`t you go hang with Jacob and Bella?" My mom said. She was so clueless. Couldn`t blame her for that though. I sighed and left them. I wandered into the kitchen and found Bella and Jacob watching the tiny TV. Jacob had his arm slung around her shoulders and Bella had her body curled into him like she was cold or something. I flipped the both of them off before exiting by the back door with one of my moms cigarettes. I went out into the cool air and wandered off to sit well out of sight in the trees bordering Jacob`s house.

Just as I was on my second puff I heard heavy footsteps approaching me from somewhere in the forest. Holy shit. Who was that? A murderer? An escaped prisoner? A madman?

"Sonia Mara." Paul Lahotes gruff voice sounded before I could see him.

"Paul Lahote. As I live and breath." I said as he came into view. He was smirking and punched me lightly on the shoulder as a greeting.

"Smoking I see. Give me drag?" I gave him the cigarette and he inhaled deeply. "Fuck me I`ve missed these." He said nostalgically, eyeing the cigarette in his fingers before giving it back to me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I`ve come to see Jacob. We are friends after all, practically brothers. Brothers in law soon." He guffawed at his own wit. He sure was dumb sometimes. "What are you doing outside? Jacob being mean to you?"

"Something like that." I answered warily.

"He doesn`t mean it. I suppose Smella is inside as well." He wrinkled his nose in distaste which made me giggle.

"Yeah. She is so..."

"annoying?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me about it. Lets get back inside. Have some...fun." He said suggestively.

"Yeah...some fun." I knew what Paul meant by fun. The guy had the sickest sense of humor ever.

"Come on. Lets go play with Jakey." He laughed loudly before picking me up and flinging me over his shoulder.

"Shit Paul." I laughed. "Put me down."

"Nuh uh." He ran towards the Black`s house and raced inside to the kitchen.

"Does she belong to someone in here? I found her out in the woods being a bad girl."

"Paul...what the hell are you doing here?" Jacob said with unconcealed disgust.

"Hello to you too bro. Leech lover...I mean Bella." I struggled in Paul`s hold. How the hell wasn`t he tired from holding me?

"Paul, you can put me down now." I said, the blood was being to rush to my head and I was pretty sure Jacob had a good view of my ass in the position I was in.

"Put her down Paul." Jacob said threateningly. Paul snorted at Jacob before setting me gently on my feet. I punched him playfully on his shoulder. Ow! That hurt a bit.

"What are you doing here Paul?" Jacob said, facing Paul with his arms crossed.

"Just come to hang with you and Sonia." He had left out Bella which made me laugh internally.

"Why can`t you just give me a break Paul?"

"Have no idea what you mean man." Paul replied, playing clueless.

"You know what I mean!" Jacob growled, squaring off with Paul in the small kitchen. He began to shake violently. Oh man! Was he having some sort of fit?

"Calm down Jake!" Paul said seriously. "I`m not here to cause any problems."

"Jacob, what the hell is wrong with you? Paul is your friend." I said.

"Yeah Jake. I`m your friend. You don`t want to...you know...here. With all these people...with Sonia here." Paul said. What the fuck was he talking about? Whatever it was seemed to calm Jacob down considerably. He gave me another sweeping look before heading back to sit beside a nervous Bella. Paul gave me a "that was a close call" look. What just happened? I looked back over at Jacob who was comforting Bella for some reason.

"So..I hear you`re dating Rachael Black now." I said to Paul. Trying to start some normal conversation. His face softened considerably at her name.

"Yeah...she`s perfect. We`re soul mates you know." He said dreamily, looking into space for a while. I watching with knitted eyebrows for about a minute before he snapped out of his daydream.

"Wow...Paul Lahote...in love?" Ahhh, that was so cute. We smiled at each other.

"Yeah totally. So in love."

"You know how goofy you sound?" I said laughing.

"Wait until it happens to you." He said, glancing at Jacob. "So..Sonia. What`s new with you?"

"Nothing much. Just here with my mom on some gross impromptu date." I gave a shudder.

"Chief Swan?"

"Yeah." I saw Bella look over in our direction.

"She could do worse." Paul said.

"Yeah...your father being one." Bella said quietly from beside Jacob. The room went silent, the only sound being the TV and the oldies laughs from the living room. She had just crossed the biggest line.

"Say that again Bella. To my fucking face this time." I said with a dangerous quiet. I had my hands balled painfully into fists. I was shaking.

"I said that your dad being one. A thief. An armed robber. An inmate." She was going to die.

"And tell me Bella.." I put as much venom into saying her name as I could. "..how you know so much about my father." I knew how she knew. I just wanted to hear her say his name.

"Bella don`t." Jacob warned her, standing up and attempting to bring her out of the room. I blocked their exit from the back door.

"Bella do. Do please tell me." I said sweetly, putting my face right into her petrified one.

"Jake told me. He tells me everything."

"Jake told you. Oh really?" I turned my hate filled stare on Jacob now. He looked pained, sorry, he could hardly meet my eyes.

"So Jacob. What gives you the fucking right to talk about me to her?" I hissed lowly.

"I`m sorry."

"Sorry doesn`t cut it. You`ll be sorry Jacob."

"Listen Sonia.."

"No. I`m done with listening to your stupid shit. And as for you Bella. You better be on your toes." I stepped out of the doorway and Bella fled past me. Jacob just stood there looking down at me.

"Please Sonia. Believe me. I am sorry. I shouldn`t have said that." Jacob apologized profusely. It might as well have fell on deaf ears. I went over to the kitchen table and sat there looking at the TV.

"So Paul, do you know if there`s anything good on TV tonight?" I said taking up the remote and flicking through the channels like nothing had happened. Not here Sonia. Don`t ruin your mom`s night.

"Eh...I dunno. I think Mad Max Tunderdome is on soon." Paul said, like he was talking to a crazy person. He sat down next to me and looked me full on in the face.

"Are you okay Sonia?" He seemed so concerned.

"Yeah. Why shouldn`t I be?" I said as nonchalantly as I could.

"Because you seemed pretty mad a while ago."

"I know. I still am."

"So..."

"So...?"

"I dunno. Shit Sonia. Bella says all that crap about your dad that she heard from Jacob and you`re just sitting here discussing what is on TV?"

"What else am I supposed to do? Cause a scene? I`m sure Bella would love that. I`m not going to ruin my mom`s chances with that Charlie guy. She would kill me if I embarrassed her here."

"I guess so. Sorry Sonz."

"You have nothing to be sorry about Paul."

"What is going on in here?" Billy had wheeled into the kitchen. Anger etched in every line on his face. Nobody answered him.

"Jacob Ephraim Black, what is going on in here?"

"Nothing."

"Don`t bullshit me!"

"I told Bella about Sonia`s dad." Jacob admitted. I looked over at him and Billy. Jacob looked at me with hurt written on his features. Billy glanced over in the direction of the living room.

"And why would you tell Bella something that is none of her goddamn business?"

"It just came up." Pathetic Jacob. I snorted in disbelief.

"Did you apologize to Sonia?"

"Yes."

"Sonia? I am sorry for my son. Deeply sorry."

"It`s okay Billy. Seriously. All he said was the truth after all." I shrugged like it didn`t affect me. It did though. I knew it. Jacob knew it. Billy knew it. Paul knew it. Billy looked at me silently for a while before turning back to Jacob.

"You better start getting your act together. This is not a game."

"I know. I`m sorry Sonia."

"I know. You said that already." I said sarcastically. I didn`t want to look into his eyes. It hurt too much. I looked at my hands instead.

"I better see where Bella has gone off to." Jacob said before leaving. I watched his broad figure disappear from the kitchen and into the darkness.

"Sonia, I am sorry again for my son, and for Bella." Billy said before he wheeled himself back into the living room and left me alone with Paul.

"What is Jacob`s problem with me? Please be honest Paul." I begged. He looked at me with sympathy.

"Jacob...likes you...so to speak. He thinks he`s in love with Bella. He has these feelings for you that he can`t control. The only way he can handle them is by blaming you for them."

"That`s the biggest load of bullshit I`ve ever heard." I said scornfully.

"It`s true."

"There`s more that you`re not telling me. There`s more to this than Jacob having some sort of love-hate fixation with me."

"There is. But I can`t tell you."

"Some friend you are."

"I am your friend. I`m looking out for you. That`s why I`m telling you not to make Jacob angry."

"He`s always angry with me."

"No he isn`t."

"I`m finished with this Paul."

"Okay Sonia. Finished for now. It will only get worse before it gets any better." He added cryptically. Oh God! I`ve had enough.

"I`m so tired of all this shit."

"I know."

"You know. Jacob knows. Everybody knows. I don`t know though."

When we eventually left Billy`s my mom was so happy and excited. She said that Charlie had asked her out for dinner tomorrow night. I am happy for her. Truly I am. She deserves a nice man in her life. She knew something was up with me though. I just told her I felt a little sick. She left it at that which I was grateful for.

When we got home I went straight to my bedroom. I changed into my PJs and lay down on my bed, staring up at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. I was sick of it all. Sick of Jacob. Sick of Bella. Sick of all the shit.

The next day, after I had finished work and was driving back to La Push my car suddenly stopped. What the hell? The gas was full. The oil and water was okay. Why now? Crap. I checked my bag for my phone. Not there! Oh man. What the hell am I supposed to do. Shit fuckity fuck fuck. It would take me forever to walk back to Port Angeles and even more to walk back to La Push. I got out of my car and leaned against the hood thinking. I wasn`t going to hitch hike. I wanted to cry. I saw a fancy Volvo drive down the road and slow down beside my car. The windows were tinted dark. I felt a horrible fear overcome me. If needs be I would use my keys as a weapon. Nowhere to run Sonia. I knew the person who got out of the car. The pale cold guy. Edward.

"Hello Sonia." He greeted pleasantly. I couldn`t say anything. Christ I`m so scared.

"Again you have nothing to fear from me. I won`t ever hurt you. I don`t have a death wish." He chuckled sardonically at what he said. "Your car is dead." He stated.

"Seems so." I said, trying to sound brave.

"Your phone is gone." He stated again. How did he know that?

"You`re stranded and you need a lift back home."

"I`m fine."

"You`re coming with me back to La Push Sonia."

"I`m not going anywhere with you fucker." He smirked at me before he suddenly disappeared and reappeared beside me. I couldn`t scream for the fear. How did he move so fast? It wasn`t natural.

"You`re right Sonia. I am not natural. You are actually smart to be afraid of me."

"What do you want?" I was trembling with fear.

"I want you to get in the car with me and come back to La Push. I am not going to hurt you."

"I don`t want to go with you." I replied pathetically. Shit! I knew he would make me go with him.

"By force if needs be." In a flash he was face to face with me. I truly did find him repulsive.

"I guess I`m not a dog." What? I am so freaked out now.

"What...just tell me.." I stuttered out. Oh God Oh God Oh God.

"Get in the car Sonia. Then all your answers will be answered."

"No." I said again, backing away from him. Before I knew what was happening I was in a cold grasp and being forced into the passenger seat of the Volvo.

"I`m not going to hurt you. I`m bringing you to Jacob!" Edward said calmly. "I`m going to give you a mild sedative. I don`t want you wrecking my car while you`re inside."

"FUCK YOU! DON`T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I screamed, trying to make a run for it. Before I could even get the door open Edward, the quick son of a bitch that he is, jabbed me with a needle of I don`t know what. Oh man...Oh crappppp. I felt my body turn to mush. I had no control over my legs, arms or anything. Shit man.

"You`ll be okay in a while. The dosage wasn`t that much. You should feel yourself again in about an hour. Long enough to make you see Jacob for who he really is."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, my speech considerably slowed and slurred.

"For love Sonia. For love." Edward answered quietly, starting the engine and heading for La Push. He drove fast and stopped short of the border of La Push. I couldn`t move and I was more afraid than I have ever been in my entire life. What did I ever do to deserve this?

"You didn`t do anything Sonia." Edward answered my thought.

"What...can you read minds or something?" I asked with my horrible slurred voice. I hate feeling so weak!

"Yes I can. I can hear your thoughts perfectly. I can see all your memories when you think of them."

"Bullshit."

"I would appreciate it if you didn`t swear so much."

"Fuck you."

"You are willful. Jacob would do good with a girl like you."

"I hate Jacob."

"You love Jacob. I can see the way you think about him. If only he can see it."

"It`s not true."

"It is Sonia. He loves you too. He is a complicated dog. He just can`t let go of Bella. I thought the imprinting would sever his ties to her but I guess I was wrong."

"Jacob isn`t a dog."

"You`ll see soon enough."

We lapsed into a silence that seemed to last an eternity. Edward stayed as still as a statue just watching the road ahead. After a while I could feel my muscles coming back to life. Thank God. I was trying to figure out how to get of the car and away from Edward. I don`t want to die now. I`m too young.

"He`s coming. With my Bella. Get ready for a big show Sonia." Edward said as he unbuckled my seat belt and helped me gently out of the care. I jumped at his cold touch like he had scalded me. We stood together at the hood of his car. Edward maintained a firm grip on my upper arm the whole time. About a minute later Jacob`s crappy Rabbit rounded the corner and ground to a screeching halt. Jacob exited the car shirtless. His body sure as hell was hot. I felt the fear dissolve as soon as I locked eyes with his. He looked pissed. Furious to be exact. So much that he was shaking. Bella got out of the car as well looking confused.

"Sonia...did he hurt you?" Jacob snarled, looking at Edward.

"No...he just drugged me." I said, I still felt a bit weak from whatever Edward jabbed me with. Jacob emitted a furious growl that belonged more to an animal than a human. Fuck me! My heart was beating painfully from the fear.

"You...you fucking leech..I`ll fucking kill you..." Jacob snarled at Edward some more.

"She needs to know Jacob. There`s a method to my madness. I would never hurt your imprint."

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Jacob screamed. The shaking was getting out of control, so much that Jacob started to blur. What the hell was going on?

Then it happened. With one touch. Edward placed his creepy cold hand on my shoulder. One little touch sent Jacob to blur out of control and morph into a giant wolf. Oh! Jacob Black is a wolf. Cool. Wait. What? Run. Run. Run. Run. RUN! Move your legs you stupid bitch. I screamed a blood curdling scream that would give a banshee a run for her money and made a dash for the forest. Oh Shit. Oh no no no no no no. Jacob Black is some sort of wolf. He`s a monster. Shit man. What the hell is going on. All these questions I pondered as I tore hell for leather farther into the forest.


	14. Chapter 14

Oh man. Oh shit. Oh crap. He`s a wolf! A WOLF! A GIANT MOTHERFUCKING MONSTER WOLF! I know what I fucking saw! People need to know. Did he eat Bella and Edward yet? Am I next? Run faster Sonia!

And I did run faster. I ran faster than I did in my whole life. The low lying branches of passing trees whipped me hard in the face, I stumbled once or twice, but I kept on going. Then I heard the howling! Hollllyyyyy shitttt. It sounds so scary. And so close. And definitely more than one wolf. I hope I don`t run into their lair. How did I get into this mess? Why did Jacob have to chose me to have some creepy wolf fixation on? I must have the worst luck in the world.

"Sonia!" I heard somebody call my name. Oh no no. Not Jacob. Please not him. I ran faster. I could hear footfalls running behind me and I pushed my legs faster. I hoped all this terrified energy didn`t run out any time soon.

"Sonia! Stop running! It`s okay! We`re not going to hurt you!" Was that Embry Call? I was afraid that if I turned around I would run into some trap so I kept on running.

"Sonia...come on.." I felt a hot hand encircle my upper arm and drag me to a stop.

"LET GO OF ME!" I screamed as I skidded to a stop of the floor of the forest. I kicked and flayed my arms and legs to no avail. Embry didn`t let go. I tried punching him which was the worst mistake I made. I felt some of my bones in my hand crunch under the impact against his rock hard body.

"AHHHHHH. SHIT MAN!" Fuck me. My hand! I felt tears start to sting my eyes.

"Sonia! Shit...you shouldn`t have done that.." Embry released my arm and cupped my hand gently in his own big ones. I seized on the opportunity at once and started to run again. I made it all but ten feet before he seized me around my waist this time.

"Please Embry...just...Jacob is a...a...wolf...he wants...to kill me...I need..to get ...away." I sobbed hopelessly as Embry started to carry me off somewhere. I had lost all energy and was shaking like a leaf from the exertion of running and the terror I felt.

"Jacob doesn`t want to kill you Sonia. He wants to protect you." Embry said calmly. He started to pick up the pace a little.

"Please...he`ll hurt you too!" Why is Embry being so cool and calm? Why wasn`t he afraid?

"He wishes." He gave a snort of laughter. Fuck...he was one too. I got it now...Sam Uley`s little-big gang of hotties were wolves. Crap!

"Don`t hurt me...please Embry...I didn`t do anything." I began to cry again. So much for showing no weakness. Embry sighed but he didn`t release his hold on me. My hand hurt like a bitch too.

"We won`t hurt you Sonia. We are here to protect you. We exist to protect you. Jacob will explain everything to you."

"NO! I don`t want to go near him." I struggled in his hold again, trying to slide out of his arms which made him hold on to me tighter.

"Stop it! Christ...it`s like trying to hold onto a fucking salmon. Stop moving around so much, you`ll hurt your hand more and I don`t want to get blamed for that one. Jake`s pissed enough as it is."

"What`s going on Embry?" I cried pathetically now.

"I`m bringing you over to Billy`s. He will tell you what`s going on. Then Jacob can explain the rest."

"Billy knows?" I hiccuped through my tears. If Billy knew then maybe I shouldn`t be afraid.

"Yeah, he knows. I`m sorry Sonia. You shouldn`t have found out this way. I can`t believe the leech actually drugged you...man Jake was furious."

"Why the hell would Jacob care what happens to me?" I hiccuped some more.

"You have no idea Sonia. Jacob would kill to protect you. The fact that Edward was that close to you...you know you kinda stink of leech." I stink? What`s leech? "But whatever, so yeah, Jake never shuts the fuck up about you. You don`t want to know some of the shit that runs through his head when he thinks of you," Embry laughed loudly, I think I missed the joke. "Seriously, I think you would chop his dick off." Oh gross. Why do guys have to talk about sex all the time to each other.

"I want to go home." Uh, I sound so wimpy.

"To Billy`s. Then you can go home." Embry said sternly.

"Please...I want to go home." I was panicking. I wanted my mom and nana. I wanted to forget everything that happened.

"Please Sonia...I`m under orders, It`ll be okay I swear, don`t freak out." Don`t freak out? Seriously? I was drugged by some freak of nature, saw Jacob Black explode into a giant wolf and was now being forced against my will to Billy Black`s house and Embry didn`t expect me to freak out? I screamed and kicked and wriggled more in Embry`s arms. At least people could say I went down fighting.

When we got to the Black`s house we were met outside by Quil Ateara and Paul Lahote. Paul? Seriously? You are supposed to be my friend. Traitor. By then I had spent all my energy fighting against Embry`s unrelenting hold. I let him carry me into the Black`s kitchen where Billy was waiting with Quil`s granddad and Sue Clearwater and Leah Clearwater. Once safely inside Embry put me gently down on my feet. My jello legs let me stand for about three seconds before I collapsed on the floor. Looks like whatever Edward gave me was still working. Either that or I ran too much. Embry immediately picked me up and sat me down at the kitchen table. He gave me an awkward couple of pats on the shoulder before fleeing outside. He was probably glad to be rid of me.

"Sonia. You know the truth now." Billy said, wheeling towards me and taking hold of my hand. It was calming. I couldn`t never remember what it was like to hold my fathers hand. Maybe it was like this? Protecting, full of strength and security. I couldn`t meet his eyes though. I was still too scared.

"I know. I saw..." I said weakly.

"And how do you feel?" Billy pushed.

"Terrified..." The panic was setting in again. I clutched at Billy`s hands suddenly and looked into his face. "Please...please don`t let him hurt me..." I was crying again? Oh Sonia. Billy pulled me into a warm hug and patted my hair.

"Don`t worry. Jacob won`t ever hurt you or let anything hurt you."

"That`s the only answer I`ve been getting!" I wailed into Billy`s chest.

"Sue...get some whiskey...it might do the trick." Billy said over his shoulder. I heard some cabinets being opened and bottles and glasses being clinked around. A while later a smiling Sue Clearwater was pushing a glass of about three inches of whiskey into my hand. I drank a couple of sips and let the liquid warm my insides and calm my nerves a little.

"Sonia...I know all this shit has been...well...terrible. But believe me, we are not going to hurt you. We like you. You are part of us." Leah Clearwater spoke. Oh man not her too!

"Are you all...wolves?" I asked the room at large. I was met by silence for a while.

"I am, and so are the rest of the boys...but mom and Billy and Mr. Ateara aren`t." Leah spoke. She looked a little sad.

"So...if you`re a werewolf...and the rest...does that mean that I am too?" Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

"No no no. You are not a wolf. Well, we are shapeshifters not werewolves. We don`t harm people. We don`t eat people. We protect people. We protect La Push." Leah explained.

"From who?" I asked.

"From the cold ones. The blood drinkers. The leeches." Leah whispered, looked carefully for my reaction. Wait...hold on a minute...Jacob called Edward a leech...Edward was cold...I stood up quickly which caused my chair to toppled over and everyone who was in the room to jump suddenly.

"Oh my God! Jacob...Jacob...Jacob was...the Edward freak...he`s a cold one...Jacob called him a leech...Jacob went for him! He could get hurt!" I hurtled for the door and ran smack into a hard chest. Oh man what the hell! I felt warm liquid drip from my nose. Oh please no. A broken hand now a broken nose? What unlucky star was I born under?

"Jesus Sonia!" It was Jacob! Oh no...I recoiled away from him and backed into the kitchen holding my hand against my nose. For every step I took back Jacob took one forward with his arms outstretched, fear and confusion and relief were written on his face and in his eyes.

"Sonia...I`m sorry..." When he realized that I didn`t want to touch him he dropped his arms to his sides and went and stood a safe distance away from me. I felt Sue Clearwater leading me towards the bathroom.

"Lets get you fixed up now dear." She said kindly.

Turns out I didn`t break my nose or my hand. Sue cleaned up my face and bandaged up my hand and brought me back into the kitchen. Only Jacob was there. The rest had gone. Oh shit...I was scared of him. I didn`t want to face him. I didn`t want to face the truth.

"Can we talk Sonia?" Jacob asked me softly. I couldn`t answer him. I couldn`t look at him

"Please Sonia..." He whispered. He sounded so pained. "I`m not going to hurt you."

"Tell me what`s going on." I demanded quietly, leaning against the Black`s breakfast counter. Jacob stood opposite me, leaning against the kitchen table.

"You know now...my secret. I`m a shapeshifter. A wolf."

"I know. I saw. Not very hard to forget." I said, looking at the floor. "I just want to know how I fit into this mess."

"You..you are my imprint." Jacob said, his normally husky voice broke a little.

"Your what?" I was perplexed. "In plain English Jacob."

"My soulmate. My spirit wife. My mate." What? What? What? No way.

"What?" I said a bit accusatorially. Don`t provoke him Sonia! You saw what he can turn into.

"Sonia...I wish there was some easy way to explain this. But it`s true. We are...destined for each other. It was destined since we before we were born."

"But Jacob...we don`t even know each other."

"That doesn`t matter Sonia! Once a wolf looks into the eyes of his imprint it...it...doesn`t matter any more." Jacob looked agitated, pained. Don`t push him!

"So...when you looked into my eyes...that`s what happened?" I said gently.

"Yes...I knew then that it was you." He searched my eyes with so much intensity that I had to look away.

"Maybe there was some sort of mistake?" Is there any way out of this?

"No mistake." He shook his head.

"How do you know...what did you feel?"

"It was glowing. It was right...perfect.." He began.

"Everything that made me who I was - my love everything grew dimmer as I looked at you. You were something newer. Something that I knew and know now and will know forever that I must keep safe." He looked at me with what I thought was adoration. Did he really mean what he was saying? He couldn`t!

"You became the centre of my universe. My destiny in life." He stepped carefully close to me and cupped my cheek. Oh man no! Was I crying again?

"I could see that now - how the universe swirled around this one point, you. I'd never seen the beauty of anything before I looked into your eyes, but then it was plain." Jacob smoothed my hair and traced my lips with his fingertips.

"The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood." He bent his head lower.

"It was the girl standing in the hall who was in trouble that held me here now."

"Sonia." He whispered my name against my lips. It was too much. To much to handle. No way Jacob Black felt that way about me. No way. He was so close to me. Standing too close. I wanted him to kiss me and I wanted him to be away from me. Before Jacob could kiss me I choked out a sob.

"If you felt that way, why do you want me to hate you?" Jacob pulled away from me and looked out the door and into the woods.

"Because I`m in love with Bella. And I`m sorry I keep saying that. I thought that if...you hated me..you rejected me...that it would be easier. There is no way to break the imprint, but, I have to be whatever you want me to be to you. A friend, a brother...a lover. If you don`t want me to love you, if you hated me and wanted me away from you...then I could be with Bella."

"Man Jacob...you really do complicate things don`t you?" I said sadly.

"I know I do."

"Listen, I know you love Bella. I don`t know why, but you do. I don`t want to stand in the way of that."

"But you already are! I can`t be away from you, it hurts! You feel it too Sonia. It`s not just a one way thing. We are in this together!" He said angrily.

"What the hell Jacob! Don`t blame me for this! I didn`t do anything! You want to be with Bella? Go ahead! You have my full blessing." I crossed my arms and turned away from him.

"And what if I want to be with you?" He put his hands on shoulders and slid them slowly down my arms. That felt so good. Get a grip Sonia!

"I want you to be with me for me. Because you like me. Not because of some supernatural force that you can`t control. I deserve better Jacob. I don`t want a relationship full of resentment because I wasn`t your choice."

"Then what should we do? It`s up to you." Jacob said, pulling his hands away.

"The pain. The pulling feeling. It has been driving me insane...I had no idea Jacob. But..when I`m with you it goes away, no matter how much you bug me I get a kind of relief."

"I know the feeling."

"We could be friends? Hang out every once in a while." I offered but Jacob shook his head.

"We need to see each other everyday." Really?

"At school, at the weekends, like normal friends do."

"Yeah...friends." I knew what he was suggesting.

"No Jacob. I`m not some slut, no matter what you think."

"I know you`re not Sonia. But I feel things for you...you do to for me.."

"No Jacob!" I looked at him sternly. No way he was getting my golden ticket that easily. I wanted him to love me. To actually have some sort of romantic feelings for me before we had sex. Not some primal animalistic urge.

"Whatever you want Sonia." He whispered. He looked disappointed.

"So...what happens now?" I asked, unsure.

"I can take you home?"

"My car!" I shouted. Shit! It was still on the road! And my bag was in it too.

"Jared has gone to get it. It will be waiting for you at home."

"What happened to Bella and the freak?" I whispered. Jacob looked hard. And angry.

"Bella has gone back to Forks with him. He won`t come near you again, I promise. If he does then I will kill him!" He vowed. "I would have killed him then, I almost did before Sam stopped me. Edward would love if I were the one to break the treaty."

"What treaty?"

"There is a coven. The Cullens. Vampires. They live in Forks but don`t hunt humans. Only animals. We have a treaty with them that we will leave them in peace so long as they don`t bite any humans. Bella is...Edward`s...girlfriend..." He looked so hurt and bitter at that. How could she date a vampire? I knew the chick was fucked up. "If we attack them then the treaty is void too. Then they could do anything...bite anyone..."

"Oh wow! That`s nuts."

"Yeah...nuts. Come on. I`ll take you home."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15. Hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for the reviews for chapter 14. You guys are awesome. Seriously awesome. Thanks for being honest about the story and remember to review and critique. I always welcome feedback on where I am going with the story. **

Jacob drove me home in silence. Every so often he would glance over at me, as if he were checking that I was still there, or okay. I got the feeling a couple of times that he wanted to take my hand as he would take his hand off the steering wheel and place it between us. I wasn`t going to take it, no matter how much I wanted to. I was still processing everything that had happened. Jacob was a vampire slaying wolf. I was his soulmate. His imprint. The powers that be had decided long ago that we were destined for each other. I just couldn`t digest it. I looked over at Jacob for a while. He was handsome. He had always been cute but now...since he had changed he had lost all his boyishness. He looked about twenty five to be honest. He radiated strength and power. Authority. Security. What I have seen of Jacob`s personality I didn`t like. He was sullen. He was arrogant. He was intimidating. He was spiteful. He was mine. Oh man!

"Your house is empty." He stated a couple of minutes before we got to my house.

"How do you know that? Can you read minds like the freak?" I asked. Oh God! Please no. I don`t want him knowing what I thought about him.

"I can`t read minds like the freak. I have super hearing. One of the perks of being a wolf." He gave me a humorless smile. Wow. Super hearing.

"And super strength?" I ventured. That would explain a lot about him.

"Yep. Strong as an ox. A great catch." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes at him but I couldn`t hide my smile. I hid my head so he wouldn`t see it.

"So...do you want to come in with me or something?" I asked him as he parked in my drive. My car was there waiting for me. Jared was quick. I wondered what had happened to it.

"Only if you want me too." He said quietly.

"I don`t want to be alone. Not now." I couldn`t hide the nervousness in my voice.

"Nothing will happen to you in La Push. But I`ll come in anyway. You shouldn`t be alone now."

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"Em...thanks...for staying with me. But don`t...start any fights."

"I`ll try not to. Come on. You need a shower. You stink." Jacob wrinkled his nose and looked disgusted. I sniffed at myself. I didn`t smell anything. "You smell of leech. Of him." Ohh. Okay?

"They smell? Of what?" I asked curiously.

"They smell sweet. Like too much sugar. Like cheap perfume. It`s sick. I don`t want you to smell like that ever!" Wow! Okay. Easy there Jacob.

"Okay, I`ll shower." I retrieved my bag from the car and got the keys out. I let us both in and turned to Jacob.

"Em, make yourself at home." I cringed. Oh God! I sound like such a dork!

"Yeah okay, just shower."

After I had scrubbed myself clean (I hope) of the vampire smell, I padded into my bedroom to find Jacob sprawled on my bed reading a magazine. He had taken his shirt off. Damn he was hot. I felt a deep heat burn at my vagina and my clit throbbed in excitement. Oh man! Fuck. I wanted him.

Jacob lifted his head off up off the pillows and looked at me with dark eyed intensity. With lust. He actually growled which made me jump a little. Don`t do it Sonia! Don`t do it! He loves Bella! He doesn`t love you!

"I need..." I trailed off as Jacob got off my bed and moved closer to me, I actually blushed at the massive hard on he was sporting. Oh sweet Jesus in heaven.

"What do you need? I`ll give it to you." He whispered huskily, standing impossibly closer to me. I clutched at the towel I had around me tightly.

"I need to get dressed..." I choked out. Fuck me this was way too much. I chanced a peek at Jacob`s face. He looked embarrassed. He cleared his throat before stuttering out.

"Yeah..em...sure...I`ll...wait outside." He fled from the room, closing the door quietly behind him. I let out a deep breath and praised myself silently for my steely resolve. Man that was a close call.

When it came to Jacob I think I needed to expect anything and everything.

After I had put on some fresh clothes and inspected my hand and face for a while I made my way into the living room, where I could hear the TV. Jacob was sitting on the floor with the remote in his hand. He glanced at me once before turning back to the TV. He was blushing. Which made me blush. I sat with my legs curled under me on the sofa. He had on some stupid football game. Sports was something that we never watched in my house, unless it was gymnastics or dancing.

"You like football?" I decided to make some polite conversation. Why not get to know my soulmate a little better?

"Yeah." Came his short reply.

"Okay."

We were silent for about ten minutes. I focused my attention between the game and Jacob`s hulking figure on my floor. Damn this was too strange. This guy was my mate? This wolf? This sullen teenager in a man`s body was my destined one? Then it dawned on me. I understood him now. Why he was so angry. Why he was so bitter. He didn`t choose any of this. He didn`t want any of this. The girl he chose he couldn`t have because of all this supernatural shit. He was stuck with me because I was his wolfs mate. Not Jacob`s. No wonder he hated me. He didn`t know me. He definitely didn`t like me. We had nothing in common except some bond called imprinting. He was bound to me for life and I to him. We had no choice in the matter. No matter how beautiful he made imprinting sound, for me, now, it sounded like a life sentence in prison. I couldn`t leave him. I couldn`t leave La Push because he had to stay here and protect the tribe. Was there anything worse than staying in a loveless relationship?

He said he would be anything I wanted him to be. A brother, a friend, a lover. I wanted him as a lover. So much. I wanted his love. And that was selfish. When I got aroused so did he. He was picking up on my feelings for him. There was no mutual attraction. It was all one way, from me. What a fool I was. What just happened in the bedroom was because of me. What happened at his house the other day was because of me too! I felt a horrible wave of sadness wash over me as I realized that I would never be good enough for him. I wasn`t what he wanted at all. I wasn`t Bella. She was small. She was delicate. She had the pale skin, big brown eyes, luscious lips and long hair that would make any man who set eyes on her want to protect her. She was quiet, softly spoken and smart. I, on the other hand, was too much. I was rude. I swore. I fought. I was an average student at best. I drank. I smoked. I did drugs sometimes. No wonder Jacob was pissed at being stuck with me. He wanted a good girl. A nice girl. That just wasn`t me. I was ashamed to realize that I wanted to be Bella right now. I wanted to be on the receiving end of Jacob`s affections not on the receiving end of his scorn. What was the plan here? What was I supposed to do? I couldn`t change who I was for him. Deep down I would still be Sonia. I wouldn`t be good enough. Ever. And it stung. It hurt. It clenched at my heart.

"Do you want anything from the kitchen?" Jacob asked me. Breaking me out of my trail of thought. I looked at him shocked for a moment. Like I had just remembered he was there.

"No, I`m good." He looked at me frowning.

"What`s up?"

"Nothing."

"You`re lying. Tell me."

"Nothing Jacob."

"Just tell me. Is it...what happened earlier?"

"No. Don`t worry. It`s nothing."

"Is it your hand?"

"No Jacob."

"Just tell me...come on."

"Nothing Jacob. Seriously. Please leave it." He made to hold me but I pulled away and hopped off the sofa. I didn`t want him to touch me. Not when he wanted to be touching her.

"It`s me isn`t it!" He sounded wounded. "I knew it. I knew you would react this way." He got up and paced the small space of the living room.

"It`s not you Jacob." I said. I wanted to go to him. To hold him. I couldn`t though. I didn`t want to feed him any more of my emotions.

"Then what is it?" He snapped at me.

"Just leave it!" I snapped back. I want him to be angry at me. I wasn`t going to tell him what I had just come to realize. Not now.

"No!" He bellowed.

"Christ Jacob! Leave it be!"

"You`re impossible you know that? Of all the fucking girls...it was you." The way he spat out the you made me cringe. That hurt a lot.

"Yeah Jacob. It was me. Of all the girls you could have had it was me! I`m so sorry for you." I said sarcastically. Hate him Sonia. Feel it. Push him away. Give him what he wants.

"Not as sorry as I am."

"Great Jacob. Now I know where I stand with you."

"And where do I stand with you? Do you know how fucking confusing you are? One minute you`re turned on so bad the next minute you`re an ice queen. How do you think that effects me? What do you want from me. Just tell me!"

"The same that you want from me." I yelled at him.

"And what would that be Sonia? Tell me what you think I want from you."

"You don`t want me Jacob. So if you don`t want me you want nothing from me."

"Bullshit Sonia."

"It`s the truth!"

"Don`t presume to tell me what you think I want or feel. Try asking me first."

"I didn`t presume anything. I can see it in your face! I can see it when you look at me. When you talk to me. You don`t want me!" I screamed at him again.

"I don`t want you? Is that what you think? So wanting to fuck you so bad that you scream my name is not wanting you? Wanting to kiss you, to hold you, is not wanting you?"

"No it isn`t Jacob." I said quietly. "There`s a big difference between sex and love. You want to fuck me. Okay. You do. So do lots of guys. You don`t like me though. You don`t want to like me let alone love me. I`m not talking about sex! A relationship isn`t built on fucking! Does that answer your stupid fucking questions Jacob?"

He looked at me in fury for a while. He started to shake and little but calmed down when he saw the fear on my face that he would phase right there. What a horrible mess. What the hell are we doing here together? I sat down on the sofa with my head in my hands. I was defeated. Could I even fight this? Could I fight with Jacob anymore? I didn`t want to. I wanted things to go back to normal. I felt Jacob`s large, strong hands take my own and hold them. He was crouched in front of me with his chin resting softly on the top of my head. It felt so nice to have him near me. So right.

"I`m sorry Sonia. But please don`t think that I`m sorry about imprinting on you. I...we...the thought of not having you in my life now, the thought of you never existing...it`s impossible for me to comprehend. I`m sorry for this mess and I`m sorry for hurting you. I`m a selfish person and you`re right. A relationship isn`t built on sex. I was stupid to even think that you would agree to sleep with me when you know I`m in love with another woman. But understand...I love you too." What? He...loves me? I couldn`t hardly dare to hope that, but those three little words made me so happy that I wanted to cry again.

"I love you but I don`t know what way. I don`t know how. All I know is that it is there and I`ll have to deal with it until I understand it." Oh...okay then. So it wasn`t the romantic type of love then? It wasn`t what I felt. The disappointed washed over me as I looked into Jacob`s apologetic eyes. It was true. He wasn`t in love with me the way I was with him. The look wasn`t there.

"You love Bella. I can accept that. I think it`s the least of all the crazy things that`s happened today. I won`t get in the way. I know you want her. If you can have her then go get her."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Jacob asked, perplexed.

"Because I`m sick of fighting you. Fighting against you. You don`t deserve to have me as your enemy." I smiled at him. What I said was the truth but I felt a horrible stab in the heart at the pain of their truth. I wanted him. So bad. He searched my eyes for something.

"I wouldn`t want you as my enemy."

"I make a great friend." I smiled my fake smile again. Oh God! You are such a dweeb Sonia!

"Alright then..." Jacob said a bit unsure.

"Do you need to go or something?" I asked. I wanted him to go so I could cry in peace.

"No, we can just hang out here. As friends do." He said, sitting back down on the sofa beside me.

"And do what?" I asked. Jacob shrugged.

"Dunno..talk? Eat?"

"If you`re hungry go get something."

"I would love a sandwich."

"Go ahead." I said grabbing the remote.

"With chicken and mayo." He said pointedly.

"I`m not making you anything. You should be the one making me a sandwich after my ordeal today." I snorted. Fuck him. He can make his own goddamn food.

"Ordeal? If Embry was a normal human he would be black and blue from all your trashing about."

"What the hell did you expect? Some half naked guy creeps up on you when you are running for your life from some mythical monster and tells you he`s taking you to said monsters house. Get a clue Jacob!" He laughed good naturedly.

"Come on Sonia. Embry`s harmless."

"Whatever. Head like a fucking boulder is what he`s got. And then the Edward freak! Eugghh." I gave a shudder. Jacob moved closer to me on the sofa.

"If you want me to kill him..."

"Nah, he didn`t hurt me. You don`t want Bella getting mad at you for killing her boyfriend now do you?"

"I suppose not." He said sadly. I looked at him pensively.

"If I were her I would choose you any day."

"Really?" He brightened considerably. A big goofy smile lit up his face.

"Eh Duh! You`re totally hot now. Edward has nothing on you in the looks department. You`re both weirdos though. Maybe that`s floats Bella`s boat." I giggled at him.

"Yeah yeah Sonia. At least I`m alive. Which is more than I can say for him."

"So what`s the deal with these vampires? Are they the Lost Boys kind or Interview with a Vampire? Dracula? How come they can come out in daylight?" I pressed.

"None of those. They don`t burn in the daylight. They sparkle."

"SPARKLE? You`re taking the piss." He was totally having me on. He looked at me in total seriousness until a smile broke out on his face.

"Yeah, I get why you don`t believe me. But it`s true. They sparkle. There`s no other word for it."

"What? Like a disco ball or something?" I said confused. Jacob roared with laughter.

"Exactly, like a disco ball."

"That doesn`t sound so scary." I pouted. What sort of pansy ass vampires were they?

"They are scary though. Not for me and the rest of the pack but for humans." He said, his mood instantly turned glum.

"So how can I recognize a vampire?"

"Come on Sonia. I won`t let one get within a million miles of you. You don`t have to worry about that." He placed a long, muscled arm over my shoulders. Oh heaven. He was so warm that I wanted to snuggle into him. I resisted that urge and sat up straighter.

"Please Jacob. All they all like that Edward guy?"

"Sort of. The ones that drink human blood have red eyes. They are all pale. Hard as stone. Fast. Strong. They are predators in other words. They exist to kill."

"And you exist to protect." Jacob gave me a soft look.

"Yes. Exactly."

"So you`re like a living legend." I said in awe. I knew that Jacob needed some type of comforting. He hated who he was now. Well he shouldn`t. He looked proud as he smiled.

"I am. Jacob Quileute Warrior Prince." He smirked at me and I blushed.

"I knew I shouldn`t have told you that!" I pouted and crossed my arms.

"Come on Sonia! I couldn`t believe it when you said that! I never believed in the legends until I phased for the first time. And you did."

"Yeah yeah Jacob. Where`s my sandwich?"

"You still want me to make you a sandwich?"

"I`m hungry! After all that stuff that happened to me today."

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	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16. Hope you like it. Thanks so much you guys for being honest about the story. Keep it coming. I need to improve. Again, thank you so much for reviewing and reading. You guys are amazing. Anyway. Happy reading and remember to review. I will try and post again tomorrow. **

Jacob and I found a sort of mutual understanding during the following weeks. We hardly fought which was a big improvement from before. I was forbidden from telling my friends what Jacob and the rest of the pack really were. My mom and nana already knew which was a shock. It turned out that my great grandfather was a shapeshifter. My nana knew about her father and the Cullens. She had known about the imprint before I did. In fact, it was her that arranged the whole dinner fiasco. Her and Billy were trying to find a way to bring me and Jacob together.

Back at school things went kinda okay. Since I basically had to keep my mouth shut about the boys and Leah and I had to distance myself from my friends a little and make up excuse after excuse to why I couldn`t hang out with them sometimes. This caused some problems with Bernie and Ollie. They knew I was lying to them, they knew me too well. I began to suspect that they sort of liked each other but were too afraid to start anything. I watched as my two best since childhood would look at the other when they thought that they weren`t looking. Looking at their growing attraction made me incredibly lonely. I had Jacob but I couldn`t have him the way I wanted him. We would speak briefly to each other at school whenever we saw each other. I told him I didn`t want to draw any attention to us by always spending time together. We weren`t boyfriend and girlfriend and I didn`t want people thinking we were. He agreed with me in the end. Jacob wanted that I cut off my friends completely. I was part of the pack now he said, it was a risk to have outsiders too close. I argued that I wasn`t a shapeshifter. I wasn`t going to phase and harm anyone. It would have drawn more attention if I suddenly dumped my old group and joined his. I wasn`t going to do that anyway. My friends were my friends for a reason. I loved them. I wasn`t that heartless.

It was as if Jacob and I were having some sort of secret relationship. When we were cordial to one another at school, we would spend the evenings at my house, at his or at Sam and Emily`s. I was a little shocked when I met the other imprinted couples. They were so different to me and Jacob. Sam and Emily adored each other. Jared and Kim gave the other the come fuck me eyes all the time. Quil and Claire...well that one freaked me out. Claire was only about three. My first reaction was to get Claire away from this monstrous paedo until Jacob calmed me down by telling me that Quil thought of Claire as his little sister. I think I kinda got it after that but I am still kinda grossed out. Quil was a bit angry with me for a while. But still...the other guys were so in love with their imprints that I had to wonder whether if I was just unlovable. Jacob didn`t look at me like the others looked at their imprints. He didn`t look at Bella that way either which made me a little happier.

Ahh Bella. The problem. I learned from Leah that Bella was totally pissed off that Jacob told me about the imprint. Apparently she made him promise her that he would fight it and not tell me. She thought I wasn`t good enough for him. The fucking nerve of the bitch. She had a boyfriend! And she wanted Jacob too? Fuck no. She totally screwed up my mom and Charlie as well. She basically whined and pleaded that she didn`t like my mom or me and she needed her dad for herself at the moment. I was going to sock her in her stupid face the next time I saw her. Sometimes Jacob would try and convince me that she was really nice, that he would like it if we got to know the other. Eh..yeah right! Sometimes I think Jacob is a bit slow.

This afternoon I was over at Jacob`s house. We were hanging out before he took me to ballet class. He insisted that he drove me to and from there. I understood that he didn`t want Edward abducting me again. I hadn`t seen the leech or Bella since that fateful day almost two months back. We were watching My Super Sweet Sixteen on MTV and commenting on how horrible and spoiled those teenagers were. I had grown to be extremely comfortable in Jacob`s company over time. Maybe it was the magic of the imprint? He still bugged me to no end sometimes though.

"Why do you do that?" He asked me through a mouth full of chips.

"Do what?" I asked back, confused. He pointed at my leg.

"Stretch your leg up like that." I was doing a leg hold.

"Dunno. Felt like stretching." I shrugged and put my leg down. "Does it bother you?"

"Not in a bad way." Jacob said, smiling cheekily. I hit him playfully on his chest.

"Get your mind out of the gutter."

"You put it in there in the first place." He countered. He shifted a little bit towards me on the sofa.

"You have been hanging around Paul for too long. He has corrupted your mind."

"I never knew you made out with Paul before." He said suddenly. I looked at him in shock. He looked sort of jealous. I had come to learn that the pack shared this telepathic mind link when they were in wolf form. Of course Paul had to think of something stupid like that.

"That happened a million years ago. We were like fifteen or something." I said defensively. Jacob was so the type of person who would hold that against me.

"Hummfff." He actually pouted. I sniggered at him. "What?" He snapped. He was hurt. I laughed at him.

"What`s the matter Jakey? Jealous?" I ruffled his hair.

"Of Paul? Yeah right. I just don`t want to be indirectly swapping spit with some dick is all." Oh. My. God! Was he serious? I shook my head warily.

"Jacob! We kissed once. You and I, I mean. Tell me, how many times have you kissed Bella?" I narrowed my eyes at him. He shifted on the sofa.

"Twice." He admitted sourly.

"So, you`ve swapped spit with Edward then. Which is a million times worse than Paul." Jacob looked horrified. Of course he hadn`t thought of that. What a dope.

"Fuck sake." He whispered. He looked grossed out.

"But of course that wouldn`t deter you from kissing her again would it?"

"Conversation over Sonia. Don`t we have to leave now?" He got up and grabbed his keys off the coffee table.

"Sure. If you want I can drive myse..." He cut me off before I could finish.

"NO!" He said firmly.

"This can`t be much fun for you Jacob. I don`t want to be babysat." I said bitterly.

"I need to make sure that you are okay! We`ve been through this. I`ve already agreed to let you go to that party." He said as we left the house. Wait. Hold up!

"Agreed to let me go? What the hell are you? My friggin` father?" I shook my head in disgust as I got in the Rabbit.

"I didn`t mean it like that." Jacob said as he started up the engine and headed towards Port Angeles. I didn`t answer him. I just turned up the radio and sat there. Great. Forty-five minutes of angry silence. What more can a girl ask for?

When we got to the ballet studio Jacob turned off the radio and turned to face me.

"Sonia..I`m sorry about what I said."

"Forget it."

"No. I hate it when you get mad at me. Just...I can`t help it that I get protective of you." He looked at me imploringly. I sighed and opened the door of the car.

"I said forget it Jacob. I don`t care anymore." He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes. "Don`t worry `kay!" I flicked him on the nose before shutting the door. I ran up to the door of the ballet studio, but before I went in I looked back at the Rabbit. Jacob was just sitting there looking at me in confusion. I gave him a small wave and went inside.

It was getting worse I think. My feelings for him. I was falling in love more with every passing second I spent with him but the sick part was that his feelings for Bella seemed to be in no way lessening. He treated me like he would one of his friends. We would joke. We would watch crappy TV and do our homework together but I wanted more from him. More than he was willing to give to me. I felt like I was being torn in two. Sometimes I was overcome with some wild desire to just seduce him. Make him forget about that cow who held his heart for a while and make him think about me for a change. I knew I couldn`t do that though. Maybe I should go on a date or something? Find somebody else? If Jacob could do it then why not I?

When I had finished my dance class I found Jacob sitting on the curb next to the car. He stood up as I came out of the studio. I regarded him as he stood. His eyes were guarded as they held mine. Something was up with him.

"How do you not get bored sitting here?" I asked. He took his time answering.

"I brought a book with me." He said. He voice was monotone. Something was definitely up with him.

"Okay..." I headed towards the passenger door but Jacob got there first and opened it for me.

"Playing the gentleman tonight? How nice." I laughed at him. If anything he looked a bit crestfallen. Weirdo.

"Do you want to catch a movie?" He asked suddenly. I was a bit shocked.

"I have to get ready for the party. Maybe tomorrow after I finish work?" I offered.

"I`m meeting Bella tomorrow." I didn`t know that. I felt jealousy rage up in me. I kept my face a calm mask as I shrugged.

"No biggie. Maybe some other time."

"What time do you want me to pick you up from the party?" He asked as he got into the car.

"No time. You`re not picking me up! I can get home perfectly fine on my own." Ollie was throwing one of his legendary Halloween parties. I asked Jacob and the guys if they wanted to come but they all declined. No fraternizing with the normals was the councils decree. I felt so sorry for them. Jacob didn`t answer me. He looked angry as he drove out of Port Angeles. Every so often his hands would clench the steering wheel, threatening to snap it into pieces. What the hell was up with him?

"Are you on your period or something?" I said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"You think you are so funny don`t you? Well your not!" Jacob snapped nastily. I was taken aback with the sudden change of nice Jacob into asshole Jacob.

"Thank you for that. You sure know how to make a girl feel good." I said bitterly, turning my body away from him and looking out the window.

"Yeah yeah yeah Sonia." What the hell was his problem? I didn`t answer him. He was looking for a fight. He wanted one for some stupid reason. Well not tonight. I wasn`t going to let him spoil my fun.

"You know...maybe Bella would like to see a movie tonight." He said in that spiteful way of his. "I always have so much fun with her. Not like you, who`s too stupid to do basic division." He laughed horribly. What the fuck? Why would he say something like that? He knew I had dyscalculia when it came to numbers. Of all the shit to say to someone. That wasn`t worth an answer. I couldn`t be around him. I felt a lone tear escape and trail down my cheek and I wiped it away hastily. I willed back the rest and sat there, in this shitty Rabbit with asshole Jacob, and waited until he dropped me off at my house. I felt sick at what he said. Why the hell did he suddenly turn? He was mental.

I didn`t even wait for him to stop the car when he came to my road. I unbuckled the seatbelt, grabbed my bag and fled from the car while it was still moving. I slammed the door shut just as Jacob hit the breaks.

"Sonia! What the hell were you thinking?" He shouted after me as I ran to my door. He better not follow me in. I would kill him.

He didn`t follow me in. But I could see him parked outside for a good hour looking all furious before he finally left. My mom and nana questioned me on what happened. I just told them that we had a fight over something stupid. I said not to worry about it cause I sure as hell wasn`t. They left me be after a while when they realized that I was done talking about it.

Bernie came over just after Jacob left and we both got ready. When we were doing our make up she admitted that she liked Ollie. It was nice acting like a normal teenager for once. We squealed and giggled and joked around. It was normal. It was safe. She asked me about Jacob. I told her that we were just friends. Hanging out. That he was sort of cool. Most of the time anyway. She left it as we helped each other with our costumes. I was going as a pirate and Bernie as a clown. We both got our inspiration from Alison Goldfrapp, who was super cool. We had a little sneaky drink of vodka while singing to Ride a white horse. I wanted to forget about Jacob. What he said. How dickish he was. I found that with every passing gulp of alcohol the pain lessened.

When we got to the party Ollie greeted us dressed as Jack Sparrow. Not very original but he looked good. His parents always went to some big Halloween party up in Seattle so his house was always, luckily, free this time of year. I looked around for any cute guys. None that really matched up to Jacob. He had frightened all of them off anyway. I would get drunk tonight. And stoned. I would get so out of it that I would just forget. I danced. I took pictures. I laughed. I had fun. Plain fun.

I left the party giggling and hiccuping and wobbling in my high heels. I took my plastic sword from my belt and swished it into the air, pretending I was stabbing Jacob.

"Sonia?" Who was that? It sounded like Quil.

"En guard." I pointed my sword into the darkness.

"Oh my God." I heard a throaty chuckle come from the darkness before Quil emerged wearing nothing but a pair of ugly cut-offs.

"You should paint yourself green." I said to Quil, who looked at me like I was crazy.

"What? Why?"

"And go as the incredible hulk." I bust out laughing at my own wit, which was lost on Quil. He came towards me and took my arm.

"Come on Sonia. Let`s get you home." He said sternly. I shook myself out of his hold angrily.

"Don`t fucking tell me what to do!" I whacked him with my fake sword and wobbled off.

"Sonia, you`re drunk. You could get hurt." Quil just had to follow me.

"Leave me alone Quil."

"If you want I could get Jacob..." He started. Eurrghh.

"Fuck off Quil! I`m sure Jacob has his head too far into Bella`s ass by now to even find his way back to La Push."

"Gross Sonia. You know he`s upset."

"Let him be then. I don`t care."

"Liar."

"Pants on fire Quil. Don`t you have vampires to slay or something?"

"I promised Jake I would see that you got home okay."

"Yeah? Really? Oh gosh that`s so kind of you. And him. I`m sure that he`s soooo worried about little old me." I drawled sweetly. Quil just looked at me a bit annoyed.

"You`re fucking wasted." Quil actually shook his head.

"No shit. What other mysteries have you solved recently?"

"You don`t have to be so mean Sonia."

"You`re right I don`t."

"Jake is sorry about what he said...about your maths problems and that." The poor guy sure didn`t know when to shut it did he?

"Quil, I am telling you to leave me alone. And shut up about Jacob. I don`t want to hear about him."

"I`ll shut up. I`m not leaving you though until you get home." Of course he didn`t. I was about five minutes away from my house anyway. Maybe Quil could carry me the rest of the way? My feet were fucked.

He stayed true to his word. He kept his mouth shut the rest of the walk back. Now and again he would look off into the woods, listening. There were others out there. I knew it. Lurking. Watching. Protecting.

"Goodnight Quil." I said as I fumbled with my keys. I turned and gave him a salute.

"Night Sonia. Sweet dreams." He said and turned back down the road and disappeared into the trees.

I crashed down on my bed, fumbling with my clothes until I was left only in my panties and long socks. I curled up under my dressing gown and surrendered myself to blissful half sleep. I didn`t know whether I was fully awake or dreaming but I had the lovely sensation of someone placing me under the duvet and stroking my face. I moaned in response to whomever it was. I felt a soft kiss being placed on my forehead and my hair being smoothed.

"Mmmm Goodnight.." I said sleepily.

"Goodnight Sonia." I was sure it was Jacob`s voice but I was too Goddamn sleepy to care.

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	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks for all the positive reviews from the last chapter. I try to update as fast as work and life permits me. Anyway, here is chapter 17. Hope you enjoy. **

Oh hell what was that noise? Urghh it is splitting my head in two. Why won`t it stop? I rolled over in my bed and opened a heavy eye. Oh crap my head! It was my alarm clock. Is it time to get up for work already? No please...let me sleep. Before I could even turn off the alarm clock a giant arm appeared from beside my bed and smacked the clock so hard that it smashed. Holy Shit! I yelped and sat up. A bleary eyed Jacob popped his head up from beside my bed and smiled sleepily at me. What the fuck was he doing here? His sleepy gaze travelled from my face down to my chest. I could have sworn his eyes turned darker as he regarded me hungrily. I looked down and squeaked as I realized that I was just in my panties. I hastily covered myself up with my duvet. Oh crap, he had just seen my breasts. I felt my face burn.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I whispered to him. His eyes travelled back to my face before he answered me.

"You asked me to stay." He said simply, laying back down on the floor and vanishing from my view. I peeked over the edge of the bed and saw him laying here on top of a pile of my clothes, morning boner threatening to peak out of his boxers, with my bra in his hand. Oh sweet Jesus.

"I would never!" I snarled, ripping the bra out of his hands and boxing him on the chest.

"You would and you did. Last night. You asked me to stay with you." I looked at him with narrowed eyes. So I wasn`t dreaming. And Jacob had seen me almost naked. What a pervert.

"Nothing...happened...did it?" I didn`t feel sore and my panties were still on with was a good sign. Jacob looked pissed.

"I would never take advantage of a drunk girl...no matter how much she begs." He said scornfully, hopping up and putting on a pair of cut-offs.

"I would never beg." I said nastily. Oh shit. Did I beg him to make love to me? That sounded like something I would say when I had my guard down. I looked around my bed and floor for something to put on. Jacob picked a t-shirt from the floor and threw it at me.

"Turn around." I commanded.

"Nothing I haven`t seen already." He sniggered at me but complied anyway. I put on the t-shirt and got out of bed.

"Your room is a mess." He commented. Looking around him with interest. We never really stayed in my bedroom before, it was too intimate and I didn`t trust myself around him in here. He picked up a pair of my pointe shoes and studied them.

"Don`t you have somewhere to be?" I said pointedly. I was still angry with him.

"Nope...all yours." He smiled and put the shoes neatly on my dresser. He picked up my jewelry box and looked inside.

"I need to get ready for work." I said, grabbing my dressing gown and slippers.

"Go ahead. I`ll be ready to take you when you`ve finished." He still thought that he was driving me to work after what had happened the other day?

"Jacob. You`re not driving me anywhere anymore. Understand?"

"It`s not safe!"

"Don`t give me that! God..."

"I`m sorry about what I said yesterday." He whispered.

"Okay so you`re sorry. Doesn`t mean that I forgive you though." I opened the door of my room and stomped down the hall to the bathroom with Jacob hot on my tail.

"Listen...let me make it up to you `kay."

"How? By teaching me to add and subtract?" I asked sweetly. His face turned hard.

"You`re impossible you know that!"

"I`m not a push over you mean!"

"I don`t mean that! I would never want you to be a push over." He placed his warm hands on my upper arms and massaged a little. Damn that felt good.

"No, you want me to be Bella." I said bitterly. She was so the type to forgive easily.

"I don`t want you to be her Sonia! How could you even think that!" I looked anywhere but into his eyes. "Please look at me. Please Sonia." I met his eyes. He looked angry. I probably looked hurt.

"Because it`s true Jacob." I pouted like a child.

"It`s not true. You drive me insane you know that?" He pulled me into a warm embrace, resting his head on top of mine. I wanted to hug him back but I couldn`t. He was lying. He wanted me to be Bella. "I`m sorry Sonia. Please let me make it up to you." He begged again. The imprint bond was making him feel guilty about what he said to me yesterday. He meant what he said.

"I dunno Jacob. Let me shower first `kay." I whispered into his chest before gently pushing him away. He let go of me hesitantly. As soon as I was alone and under the hot shower shampooing my hair I thought about what he said. If I let him make it up to me, if I trust him again, he would only end up hurting me another time. I decided I would broach the subject of me dating someone else when I finish my shower. It was only fair since he was dating Bella in a weird round-a-bout way. I needed something normal.

"Hey Jacob?" I said as I sat down with a coffee at the kitchen table. He was demolishing a doughnut and had a giant glass of juice in his hand.

"Mmm?" He said with a mouth full of doughnut. I looked at him for a couple of seconds. He swallowed and said "What?"

"I was thinking of getting a boyfriend." It came out so correct and business like that Jacob just looked at me shocked for a couple of seconds before startling me by gripping his glass too hard and shattering it. I looked on as the orange juice dripped off the table and onto the floor. We looked at each other for a couple of seconds. Jacob`s face showed no emotion but in his eyes a storm was brewing. I was scared.

"A boyfriend? Who did you have in mind?" He said in a flat voice. I knew he was angry. He had no right to be. He didn`t want me as his girlfriend.

"Nobody in particular." I said in a light voice that betrayed my fear. I got up and got a wash cloth to clean the mess from the table.

"I don`t believe you." He said with a dangerous calm. Why did I have to say it to him now?

"Why not?"

"Because...because look at you." He waved his hand vaguely in the direction of my body. "You`re...you`re so beautiful! Any man would fucking give an arm to have you." He thought I was beautiful?

"Jacob listen.." But he cut me off.

"Yeah..go ahead. Go date someone. Some dick." He started to pace the kitchen. Oh man here it comes. "If he touches you though..." He looked at me threateningly before almost pouncing on me with such speed that I squeaked. "You`re mine." He said in a low growl. "My imprint. No one else`s." Oh God. I felt my heart beat harder out of fear. I had never seen him this way. So bestial. So possessive. So fucking dark. So wolfish.

"Jacob...snap out of it." I whispered. He looked like he was going to ravish me right here in the middle of the kitchen. He didn`t move his body or his eyes away from me. "Stop it Jacob!"

"If that`s what you want." He whispered before slowly moving away from me. I was shaking a little. He went and stood at the sink, facing away from me shaking as well. Oh no. Please don`t phase. Not here. I had never seen him do it since the incident although I had seen his wolf a couple of times when I was at Sam`s and Emily`s. "Jacob...I don`t know what to say."

"Don`t say anything more Sonia...please." He faced me with hurt written on his face.

"We...me and you...we agreed to be friends didn`t we. We agreed that we didn`t have anything...romantic going on." I said carefully.

"We did. You`re right. You can...date whomever you want...see who you choose." He said indifferently. The change was shocking. I looked at him steadily.

"You`re okay with that?"

"Why shouldn`t I be? Afterall, I don`t think of you that way. I have Bella." But you don`t have Bella Jacob! I wanted to scream at him. She doesn`t want you! She wants Edward! She only gives you pain and hurt and you suffer it all because you`re an idiot!

"Yeah...you have Bella." I said instead.

"I need to go now...go home...get changed." He said quickly. So he didn`t want to drive me to work today?

"Okay. See you later then." I said. Grabbing my keys from the key bowl. I wanted out of here and away from him.

"Be careful...driving and stuff." He said as he exited through the back door. It seemed like he didn`t want to look at me.

"Yeah..course..don`t worry." I said brightly. Could I sound anymore fake?

"Yeah right." He muttered under his breath as he finally left. I watched him run into the woods at the back of my house and vanish from sight with a tight knot of pain in my chest.

As I was getting into my car a horrible, anguished howl ripped through the air, frightening me so much that I whacked my head against the door frame. Shit man! Was that Jacob? I knew it was him. Look like he phased already. And he was pissed for sure.

Driving to work gave me time to think. With all the scary shit that happened today I totally forgot about my hangover. Fucking Jacob. What a mentalist! I understood that he had this possessive streak because of the imprint. But that didn`t mean I had to play by his rules. If it were up to him he would be fucking me and still seeing Bella. He would be thinking about her while making love to me. Fulfilling all his sick fantasies. I wasn`t going to let that happen. I was worth more than that. What the hell was I getting out of my relationship with Jacob? Fucking nada. He got all moody and sullen when I didn`t stroke his ego or give him what he wanted. He found new and inventive ways of hurting me when I talked back. He would wave Bella in my face because he knew that I was jealous of her. Screw him! I was going to get me a boyfriend! I was going to forget Jacob and have a normal life while he was running after Bella like the love sick idiot that he was. I am confident. I am beautiful. I am independent.

I parked my car outside the bakery with five minutes to spare before my shift started. I tried to calm myself down enough to get through the next six hours of work. Think about bread. Think about cakes. Think about coffee. Think about anything but that dipshit.

All in all work passed by without any incident. No cute guys came in that I could talk to, only middle aged couples looking for croissants and pastries. At least today is payday! When my boss Jim gave me my paycheck and wished me a good day I decided I would go shopping. A bit of retail therapy always cheered me up. I got a coffee to go from the bakery and headed towards the limited number of shops that Port Angeles had to offer. I bought new panties and bras. Two sweaters and a dress plus a load of new make-up. Jacob said that he liked me to look natural, that I didn`t need make-up, well I didn`t need him, and I wanted to wear make-up.

Exhausted and feeling a bit sluggish from lack of food I headed to Starbucks to get another coffee and a muffin. I sat down with my bags, coffee and muffin and opened the new Game of Thrones book that I bought on impulse. I lost myself in the world of Westeros. After a while I noticed a guy sitting a little way away looking over at me. I frowned at him before trying to concentrate back on my book. I knew he was still looking at me though. When I looked up again I was proved correct. He was good looking. Native American but not from La Push. He looked to be about twenty-one or twenty-two. He smiled at me and I smiled back. Oh man! What luck I have. He motioned to whether I wanted him to join me. I nodded my head and removed my bags from the extra seat. He came over with his coffee and book and sat down. He extended his hand.

"Robbie." He said when he shook my hand.

"Sonia." I replied. He smiled at me warmly when he sat down. He eyed my book.

"Game of thrones, nice. I`m on Dance of Dragons now."

"I`m only on Clash of Kings. Don`t spoil anything for me." I giggled. Oh Sonia, you old flirt.

"I won`t. So...you from around here?" He asked. He had nice eyes. Soft eyes.

"From La Push. You?"

"A Quileute. I`m from the Makah rez." Nice, so he would be close at hand.

"Cool. I love it up on the Makah rez. You guys have great beaches."

"I know right. So, just finished shopping or something?"

"Yeah, got my paycheck today so I thought I`d treat myself."

"I know what you mean. Got mine today too, hence the new book." We laughed at that. He was so nice. This was so nice. Just plain normal. What a break!

"So, how old are you?" Robbie asked, a bit unsure. Crap.

"Seventeen." His eyes widened a bit. "I`ve scared you off huh?"

"Nah, I`ve just turned twenty." He smiled widely at me.

"I guessed you were around something like that."

"So Sonia."

"So Robbie."

"Would it be too soon to ask for your number? I`m on my break and I don`t want to take the chance of not meeting you again." YES! PLEASE! YES!

"Yeah..sure...here." I said, I hope not too desperately. We produced our mobiles and swapped numbers. Robbie left waving goodbye and I was left happy with a cute guys number. Take that Jacob. At least somebody likes me.

When I drove home, the feeling of excitement slowly drained away. Jacob would be mad. So fucking mad. I learned from my time around these wolves that their tempers are mercurial. Ready to snap or change at any provocation. It had almost happened today. I knew Jacob had to use every shred of self control he had not to phase then and there. Dare I risk poking the sleeping wolf again? Honesty would be best with Jacob. He wasn`t that complicated. Just sit him down. Tell him how I feel. What I wanted. What we would do. I drove on to the Black`s house. I hoped Jacob was in. I prayed he was. I was taking the biggest chance of my life here. Should I just back out now.

When I got to his house I steadied my nerves and knocked at the door. I heard heavy footsteps approach the door before it was flung open. Jacob looked at me impassively.

"What do you want?" He said indifferently.

"I`ve come to talk to you." I said as nicely as I could.

"I can`t handle any more from you today." He shut the door in my face.

"Jacob. I...I...love you." I said into the closed door. Oh God! I had to say it. I needed to say it. He had to know how I felt! Why hadn`t he come back yet? I knew he heard me. He could hear a fart before it left ones ass. I heard his footsteps thread back to the door. He opened it again. This time he looked confused. We stood there looking at each other for a while. Why isn`t he saying anything?

"You...love me?" He asked softly.

"Yeah." I was so lame. But I needed to tell him how I felt.

"Really?" He asked again. I looked up into his eyes and took his hand.

"Yes Jacob." He cupped my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb. Please kiss me. I need to know how it feels.

"Why are you telling me this? To make me forget about Bella?" There was a hint of an accusation in his voice.

"No Jacob. I`m telling you this because I got a boys number today. I`m telling you because I need to know how you feel about me. I`m telling you so that if you tell me you want to be with me then I can delete his number." Jacob pulled me inside of the house and into his tiny bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Before I had time to react his mouth descended onto mine. Oh GOD! Yes. Yes. Yes. It was so right that it ached. It was so perfect that I moaned into his mouth with joy. Our tongues battled it out before I submitted to Jacob`s ferocity. I let him push me onto the bed and lay on top of me. It felt wonderful like this, his hot body brushing against mine sent me into overload. I wanted more of him. So much more. I wanted to make love to him. One of his hands found its way under my sweater and under my bra. He caressed me the way a teenager would. Greedily. I knew he was a virgin too, but I was probably more experienced than him in the fondling department. He pinched one of my nipples gently which made me grow slick. My roaming hands found their way to Jacob`s button and fly. Slipping one hand into his boxers I grasped his gigantic hard on and stroked its length.

"Ohhh ahh Sonia..." He moaned on top of me. He sounded so...vulnerable? He made to undo my jeans but I stopped him.

"Jacob...tell me that you love me too. Tell me you feel the same way." I whispered up at him smiling. I wanted him to say it before we made love. He kissed me for a long time instead. I broke away and made him look at me again. I searched his eyes. Troubled eyes. Please no.

"Sonia I...I do love you. I want you so bad."

"But are you in love with me?" I asked. I already knew the answer.

"Sonia I...I can`t lie to you..." I didn`t let him finish. I fought my way out from under him sickened.

"Sonia..come on...please." Jacob groaned into his hands. He tried to pull me to him again but I smacked his hands away.

"It`s fine Jacob. It`s just...not the right time now is all..." I corrected my bra and sweater and did up my jeans. I glanced over at Jacob who looked...sad.

"I do love you Sonia...you have to believe that."

"I know you do...the forced love...the imprint love. I get it."

"You don`t get it."

"I took a very big chance Jacob, telling you...what I did. Just don`t hold it against me in the future." I asked him.

"I would never do something like that." He vowed.

"You would Jacob. The next time you don`t get what you want from me. This will be waved in my face along with that bitch you`re always running after."

"You can`t be angry with me for being in love with her."

"I`m not that selfish Jacob." I took his face in my hands and made him look up at me.

"I know you`re not Sonia. I.."

"I think...I deserve to be loved Jacob. I want a boyfriend. I want someone to make out with and have fun with."

"We can do all that stuff." Was he not getting it?

"No Jacob, we can`t! I can`t...not with you...not with my feelings and your lack there of."

"I don`t think I could handle you being with another guy. I know I couldn`t."

"You`re gonna have to try. How do you think I feel? With you constantly going on about Bella."

"I was doing it to make you jealous."

"Why?"

"Dunno."

"Shit Jacob. We need to..."

"Sort this out."

"So..what do we do?"

**So reviews? Remember. It makes the story better.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18. Thanks so much for all the reviews. You guys know who you are and know that you are wonderful. I can`t get over how much you like the story. It`s so motivating. Seriously. **

**Believe me I would love to be writing all day but I have to work and take care of a boyfriend and a flat but I will try and update as much as I can. Next update will be on Friday. **

******Happy reading and remember if you have any questions or suggestions don`t be afraid to comment or message me. I`m all ears.**

I left Jacob`s house on the verge of tears. That was so...What the hell was I thinking? I knew he didn`t love me. I just had to tell him didn`t I? Why did I tell him? Why did I do it? Shit...it seemed like a good idea in the car. Did I honestly expect him to say it back to me? I couldn`t stand the look of sympathy on his face as I said I was leaving. It was his own stupid fault! All of this! If he wasn`t so...Jacob, I would have never have fallen in love with him in the first place. Crap, he was never what I had imagined him to be. Jacob was a good person. Good to his friends, good to his father, good to the people he cared about. He was smart. He was funny. He had the cutest dimple on his chin. He had a way of smiling that just tore at my heart. He wasn`t afraid to challenge me. But the one thing that pulled me towards him more than anything was...him. Jacob. His spirit. He radiated power, security, and strength and the promise of happiness and love. The way he walked, the way he talked, the way he held himself...I could see it. Every movement of his graceful and agile body held my attention. The workings of his muscles under his skin, even when he opened a fucking can of soda I watched. I was amazed. I wanted to know more of him. To see more of him. To experience more of him. I wanted to count the faint freckles high up on his cheek bones and wrap myself around him the way Bella did. I wanted to make him happy, like she did. More than anything, I wanted him to love me like he loved her. Was that asking for too much?

He said he loved me but I don`t understand how. He didn`t understand how either. He was emotionally wrapped up in her while wanting me sexually. A man could be in love and still have sex with other women. I didn`t want to be the other woman. I wanted to be his number one. His one and only. I wanted it so bad that it was like a knife in the belly when his face would light up on the mere mention of Bella`s name. It wasn`t fair. I couldn`t take anymore of it. I need to get over it but I don`t know how or if I would ever. Imprinting was for life after all. A life sentence.

When I got home I tried acting normally for the sake of my mom and nana. Maybe I should consider acting as a future career. I was sure as hell doing a lot of it these days. Acting normal, acting happy. Acting interested when they told me about something that happened or somebody they saw. I nodded when I was supposed to. I asked questions when I needed to. They probably knew something was up as they didn`t mention Jacob once. If they did I would act happy again. Betray no sadness, no disappointment. Nobody wants to hear about what goes on in my head. The one person I want to share everything with doesn`t even want to know, he only wants my body, not my heart or mind.

I was a romantic deep down. I wanted to be wooed. I wanted to be won over. I wanted the man I loved to look into my eyes and see my soul and love it. I wasn`t going to settle for anything less. Jacob needed to understand that. Understand me as I understood him. And I understood him perfectly. He was still a boy. A seventeen year old trapped inside a mans body. He is holding onto Bella because she represents the normality before the change. He had a crush on her, he fell in love with her naturally and is unwilling to give it up because he thinks that if he does, then he would have to face fully the reality of who he really is, lose control, lose his free will. He can`t accept his power. His wolf. His heritage. He is the true born Alpha of the pack but won`t take the responsibility. He would be the future Chief of the Quileutes if we still held that tradition! He is scared in other words. And Bella does nothing to help the situation. She has her boyfriend, her soulmate, but won`t let go of mine. Leah told me about all the various conversations Bella and Jacob have had with each other. She drags him down with her unhappiness. She drains him of his own joy in hopes of getting some for herself. If her leech freak doesn`t give her what she wants she runs back to Jacob. Leads him on by telling him that she loves him. Bad mouths Sam and the others. Called him a coward, tossed him aside for a monster that dumped her for her own safety. She doesn`t believe in him or the strength of the pack. She is a leech. She was born to be a leech. She WANTS to be a leech! And yet Jacob wants her. He is such a moron.

I put away my new clothes and underwear and decided to get started on my homework. I must say that I was turning into quite a goody two shoes. I actually got my first A in maths the other day. My mom baked me a cake in occasion. I wasn`t naturally academic. I needed to work extra hard to keep up in certain subjects. Since I met (or re-met) Jacob though I wanted to prove to him that I wasn`t dumb. Stupid I know but that`s the truth. I also hadn`t been in a fight in months which is something that`s strange for me. Ciara Harris and her cronies were actually being friendly to me and my friends. The world has turned fucking nuts. Or I have.

Half way through my conjugation of Empezar into the preterit tense my mobile began to ring. It was Robbie. Oh man I forgot all about him! Shit fuck bitch. Okay okay calm down and answer it.

"Hello." I said in what I hoped was a normal voice.

"Hey Sonia, it`s Robbie." His deep voice said.

"Hey Robbie, how are you?" I made myself sound excited.

"Cool, and you?"

"Fine...what`s up?" I stood up and went to look out the window, fingering my curtains.

"Nothing much...I was just wondering if you wanted to come up to the Makah rez tomorrow, we`re having a drum circle. It`s kinda cool." He`s so nice. Jacob never invites me anywhere besides his house and to Sam and Emily`s.

"Yeah...that would be great. I love drum circles." I said honestly.

"Me too...so that`s great. So, I`ll pick you up tomorrow morning. Say eleven?"

"Wonderful."

"We could take a walk on the beach afterwards, get a bite to eat." He sounded so pleased.

"Great."

"How do I get to your house?"

I gave him the directions then we hung up after our goodbyes. How nice. Great actually. I didn`t think about Jacob once during the whole conversation. What an achievement! I was actually smiling from ear to ear because of this. Maybe Robbie was my Bella? I threw open my closet doors and searched for an outfit to wear tomorrow. Robbie was twenty, almost three years older than me. I would have to wear something more mature. It was only a drum circle but still...you know. I turned on my stereo and found a station playing Diana Ross`s I`m coming out. I sang along dancing and picking out random pieces of clothes. If I didn`t do this, keep my mind of Jacob, then I would pick up my phone and cancel on Robbie out of guilt. I needed this, if I act happy maybe I will begin to feel happy. I felt bad a bit. A little hypocritical calling Bella a user while using Robbie to get over Jacob. Well I wasn`t Bella. And this is completely different. Jacob doesn`t want me. He told me. I told him what I wanted and how I feel and he still said no so I am completely free to do and see who I choose. I was entitled to a bit of romance.

Afterwards when I had finished dinner and my mom and nana had gone to bed I went to my room with my book and started to read. Wow, that Cersei Lannister is such a bitch...

Tap tap tap.

What the fuck? Is there someone actually tapping on my window?

Tap tap tap.

Oh great. That could only be one person. I didn`t want to talk to him now. I couldn`t. No way.

Tap tap tap.

Fuck sake! I hopped off my bed and pulled back one of my curtains a little. Jacob. What a surprise. I rolled my eyes and cracked opened my window a little and walked to the other side of the room waiting for Jacob to climb in. I couldn`t help but marvel at how quiet he did it because of the size and weight of him. I concentrated on the wall behind his head instead of looking at him.

"We need to talk." He said quietly. He was using his gentle voice.

"I think that everything that needed to be said was said today." I said flatly, no emotion coloring my voice. Jacob came and stood in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders. I just stood there as a statue would.

"Sonia..." He didn`t finish, just trailed off. He pulled me towards him and I was engulfed by the heat of his body. I closed my eyes as I listened to the steady thud of his heart beating. What a beautiful sound. He just held me in silence, one hand stroking my hair. When he realized I wasn`t making any move to hold him back he stepped away.

"Please look at me." He pleaded in a whisper.

"What if I don`t want to?" I said back, looking down at the floor.

"I can`t make you look at me."

"Why do you want me to look at you?"

"I need to see your eyes." He said simply.

"I didn`t know that was part of the imprint package. I thought just being near each other was enough." I replied, trying to sound careless about it. I loved looking into his eyes.

"I want to look into your eyes." He amended. "Please Sonia."

"Why did you come here?" I asked, turning away and putting some shoes into my closet.

"To see you."

"You saw me already today." I said a bit bitterly. Of course Jacob would pick up on that.

"I know you`re upset. I`m sorry...just...when you told me that you loved me.." I actually cringed at the memory. "..I wasn`t expecting it. I never suspected that you...could love me...like that. It was a bit of a shock."

"Well you don`t have to worry anymore."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that...you know the truth...fine...I do love you.." I finally looked up at him and into his eyes. It hurt. "..but that doesn`t mean anything when it comes to me and you."

"It means everything!" He whisper shouted, stepping closer to me.

"No Jacob! Me and you. I want me and you! Not me, you and Bella! I want a boyfriend who will give me everything. I`m an only child. I don`t share."

"I`ll give you anything you want Sonia."

"Why are you saying this now?"

"Because I don`t want to lose you!" He seemed so pained.

"How can you lose me? The bond can`t be broken."

"I don`t mean the imprint bond. I mean you, now, this." He wasn`t making any sense.

"Jacob. You say you will give me anything I want."

"I will."

"What if I asked you never to see Bella again? Would you give me that?" His face changed as I expected it would.

"I don`t know."

"That`s a no then. Jacob...what`s said is said. What`s done is done. I need to move on from this."

"But Sonia..."

"But nothing! I want to be with you so fucking bad Jacob! So much that it hurts. I want the best for you...I want you to be happy. If you`re happy running after Bella then so be it. But don`t expect me to just sit around waiting for you. Don`t be selfish like her...don`t keep me on hold for later when things with her blow up in your face."

"I told you the truth Sonia. I like you...I like being with you. I`m not complete without you."

"We should go back to being friends."

"No, not after today."

"But you don`t love me."

"I DO love you!"

"You`re not in love with me!"

"Let me fall in love with you then!"

"I can`t LET you fall in love with me you fucking moron! YOU have to let yourself fall in love with me!"

"You don`t make it easy being a bitch half the time."

"Oh sorry. Maybe I should be like Bella. So meek...so fragile...like a little rose petal.."

"Shut the fuck up! I don`t want you to be her!"

"If you want me Jacob you are going to have to work hard! I mean hard. You can start by showing me some respect! Fucking call me a bitch again and I`ll show you the real meaning of the word!"

"I`ll have to show you? How?"

"Unlike Bella I can`t be won over by some shitty motorbike or dead things. Figure it out!"

"You`re impossible!"

"I`m not. You`re just..."

"What? I`m what Sonia?" Jacob spat looking furious.

"You`re just...clueless. And I`m not being mean saying it, believe me."

"Clueless?" Jacob shook his head and laughed humorlessly.

"I`m...I`m going to start living my life again. I want to be happy. If you love me like you say...you won`t make things...difficult." He looked at me with narrowed eyes. He understood the meaning of my words. His face turned hard.

"The whole boyfriend thing. That guys number." He stated. I nodded my head. "I do love you Sonia. I want you to be happy...but only with me. If that makes me selfish then I guess I`m just a selfish guy. But...if that`s what you really want then I won`t stand in the way." He gave me one last penetrating stare before climbing out the window. I shut it tight and drew the curtains. The howling lasted the entire night. Jacob was mad. But that wasn`t my problem.

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19. Hope you enjoy. Thanks again for all the reviews from Chapter 18. You guys are great. Wonderful people. With this chapter I felt that Jacob and Sonia needed to get a little push in the right direction. Tell me what you think, what you like and don`t like so I`ll know what I`m doing wrong and right. Thanks and happy reading.**

"Hey Sonia." Robbie said brightly at my front door.

"Hey Robbie." I smiled back at him. I heard my mother come out of the kitchen and into the hall. She looked from me to Robbie confused.

"Sonia who`s this?" She asked.

"This is Robbie mom. He`s taking me up to the Makah rez to watch a drum circle."

"Did you ask my permission?" Christ mom! Since when do you screen my friends?

"I didn`t think it would be a big deal." Stop embarrassing me mom!

"How old are you?" My mom interrogated Robbie, who by now looked throughly uncomfortable.

"Twenty."

"You`re not going anywhere Sonia!" My mom said at once.

"But mom!"

"But nothing! He is too old for you!"

"He`s just a friend!"

"Bullshit! And you.." My mom advanced towards Robbie. "She is just seventeen. Come sniffing near her again and you will have a big problem." With that she slammed the door in his shocked face.

"MOM!" I yelled.

"STOP IT! What were you even thinking? What about Jacob?"

"What about him? He doesn`t want me."

"I see the way he looks at you. Watches you. How can you say that he doesn`t want you?"

"Because he is in love with that Swan bitch!" I looked out the living room window and saw Robbie`s car driving off. Great! There goes my date.

"Or he thinks he does. Sonia, you know you aren`t the most approachable person around. Maybe you are pushing him to her." My mom suggested gently. "Try opening yourself up a little. Try trusting him."

"I told him how I felt...I told him that I was in love with him." I suddenly felt overcome with tiredness.

"What did he say?"

"He said that he loves me...but wasn`t in love with me."

"He needs time..to get to know you."

"But what am I supposed to do while he`s figuring everything out? What if he never falls in love with me and one day I find that my life has just gone by. Has been wasted."

"It won`t happen like that. Look at the others. They are all in love."

"But Jacob`s different. He`s the rightful Alpha. He knows what he wants and is strong enough to fight for it. Bella is what he wants and he`s fighting for her. I`m his imprint, he is bound to me. I don`t understand it. We are like chalk and cheese. We are too different."

"No you`re not. The both of you are actually quite similar. You are both insecure. Unsure of the other. Afraid of letting your guards down. What I want to tell you is that if you want Jacob, if you truly love him, then why not give him a chance. Try going out with each other. Like on a date."

"A date?" Was she actually being serious? The man is supposed to woo the woman. Not the other way around.

"Yes. Call him up. Ask him out." She urged. "I hate seeing you like this Sonia. So torn up."

"I don`t know." Should I?

"I can`t force you to do anything. But...if I see that Robbie fellow around here again you will be grounded. A boy that age only wants one thing. You don`t want Jacob to murder him do you?"

"No, you`re right mom. I just thought that I could have something normal. Go out on a date and not worry whether he is there because of me or because of some force that ties him to me."

"I know sweetheart. I know it`s tough for you. I know that it will turn out great in the end."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because it`s destiny."

"That`s so lame mom."

"Just call him."

"Fine. I`ll call him. But if says no you have to take me shopping."

"Deal. Do it."

I went to my bedroom with my cellphone and dialed Jacob`s number. He picked up after about ten rings.

"What do you want?" He said rudely. I rolled my eyes.

"I want to ask you out."

"What?" He snapped.

"I wanted to ask you out on a date." I said slowly.

"You`re fucking joking right? Seriously Sonia? After all that shit..."

I hung up on him and threw my cell phone onto my bed. I got my answer. Now my mom gets to take me out shopping. My phone started ringing about a minute later. Jacob. Surprise surprise.

"Yes?"

"Okay Sonia. What game are you playing here?"

"I don`t play games."

"Were you serious before? Do you want to...go on a date with me?" He said this more gently than before.

"Yes...I would...love to go on a date with you." I replied softly. "But only if you want to go with me."

"Of course I would. I would love it." Did he actually sound excited?

"Okay."

"So I`ll come over to your place now?" What? It was only like eleven thirty.

"Isn`t it a bit early?"

"I want to see you." He said earnestly. Oh man...

"You do?" I asked, so unsure.

"I want to see you all the time." He whispered huskily. Oh Jesus...I actually had butterflies in my stomach.

"I do too." I admitted. Shit, shouldn`t have said that. My voice even sounded different when I said that.

"I can come over then?" He pushed.

"Yeah..." Why do I sound so weird?

"See you in about five minutes."

"See you." I breathed down the phone and hung up. Oh man...oh God...that went awfully fast.

"I told you so Sonia." My mom said from my bedroom door smiling.

"Whatever old woman!" I poked my tongue out at her.

"When will he be here?"

"He said in about five minutes." I replied, looking around my room in distaste. It sure was a mess. Clothes, books, magazines and various other bits of debris littered the floor.

"You should clean up in here sometime. I`m telling you this now because I don`t want to have to tell you later, no sleep overs with Jacob until you are eighteen." I must have turned tomato red.

"Don`t worry mom, we aren`t there yet.."

"Hummpff. I was a teenager once." Sick! Gross!

"Bye mom!" I sang, leading her out of my bedroom and shutting the door behind her. I decided to change my clothes while I waited for Jacob to come. Just as I was in the middle of putting on a black long sleeved top Jacob`s voice startled me from my window.

"Hey.." He said playfully, pushing the window up and jumping in.

"Hey..." I whispered back, blushing. He came towards me with the scary intense look in his eyes. The butterflies seemed to be going crazy in my stomach.

"You are so beautiful when you blush...it makes you look a bit vulnerable because you don`t do it often...only with me..." He trailed off and cupped my face. Fuck he is so hot. So fucking amazing.

"Jacob...are you mad at me?" I whispered up at him, searching his eyes for the truth. They regarded me back. His pupils were big, black, rimmed by a small circle of dark brown.

"I`m angry at myself Sonia. For not...wanting to get to know you...for hurting you."

"Oh..." Okay.

"Yesterday, all that stuff what happened. When you told me how you felt...I was shocked. But believe me, I do want to be with you. Give you everything, take you out, buy you gifts, protect you. I want to be your boyfriend."

"So you have...romantic feelings for me too?" I asked shyly. Jacob blushed a little.

"Yeah...I always had I think. I just thought that you wanted to be friends so I kinda suppressed them. But then, that day when I dropped you off at your dance class, I watched you run up and then look back...it hit me...hard. How perfect you are. How much you could hurt me if you ever rejected me. I got angry in the car and said all that shit because I wanted you to stay with me instead of going to that party. I wanted to be having fun with you instead of patrolling. I wanted to be a normal teenager for once and I was jealous that you could, and that you would choose that over me." Wow. Jacob was actually being honest. "And then, that night, when you came home drunk, when I saw your face through Quil`s memory it hurt at how much I hurt you, how your eyes would pain when he mentioned my name. I decided that night that I would make it up to you. Be good to you."

"Jacob, please, you don`t have to.."

"I need to tell you, you need to know. You told me what was in that crazy head of yours so it`s only fair that I tell you what`s in mine."

"Okay then, tell me." He sat me down on the bed and crouched in front of me, looking up into my face.

"When you told me that you wanted a boyfriend I almost snapped. Phased right there. The thoughts of you with another man...it made me want to hurt...to kill the idiot that would touch something as precious as you...someone that meant the world to me. I got into a huge wolf fight with Paul when I found out that you two...made out." His face hardened at that.

"That was the past Jacob. Paul and I are nothing but friends, always have been."

"I know...but still. When you told me that you loved me, when we were making out.." His voice got impossibly deeper and huskier. "it was probably the most amazing feeling I have ever felt, having you touching me...having you under me...touching you..." His eyes turned black now as they travelled along my body and face, he placed his hands on my knees and moved closer to me.

"I knew I could never lie to you though. I can`t, not now. I am falling for you Sonia...and I don`t want to stop it...not now...not ever..." He pushed my legs open gently and stood on his knees between my legs. His hands travelled the length of my thighs and up to my waist, lighting fires in their wake. I hesitantly took his face in my hands and moved in closer to him. I kissed along his jaw before finding his lips. The kiss was sweet, magical. But best of all it was pure. It wasn`t desperate like before, it wasn`t sexual. It was the best kiss of my life. I had never been kissed like that before. Never felt so alive and yet so at peace with one kiss.

Eventually Jacob broke away and pulled me into a rib squeezing hug. I was content to just stay like that with him. Holding him and letting him hold me.

"Jacob?" It came out as a bit muffled.

"Mmm?"

"I kinda need to go to the bathroom." It was true. I was desperate for a pee. He laughed a little before releasing his hold.

"Come back soon." He said, kissing me again. Oh man that will never feel old.

"Sure...I won`t get lost, it will give you some time to figure out where you want to bring me."

"Can`t we just stay here?" He jumped onto my bed and lay there, suggestively patting the space beside him. It was tempting but no.

"My mom is here, no way will she allow that today, she already scared one guy off." I immediately regretted saying the last part.

"What do you mean?"

"I was supposed to go out today...with a guy...my mom forbade it."

"Why?"

"Because...because he was too old for me."

"How old was he?"

"Twenty."

"She was right, he is too old."

"Yeah.."

"Would you have still went out with him? If she hadn`t forbade it?"

"Probably..."

"So why did you call me? Because you couldn`t have the other guy?"

"If I really wanted to go with the other guy..with Robbie...I would have went with him. The guy I really wanted was you...that`s why I called you. You know that." I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him into a hug. He sighed and wrapped his own arms around me.

"Promise you won`t go out with anyone else." He whispered.

"I`ll promise you that...only if you promise to give us a chance...and not see Bella."

"Bella is my friend, but if you want that...I`ll promise you it. I want you...much more than I have ever wanted her." That made me smile into his chest. I thought that would have been more difficult.

"Thank you Jacob."

"I know some ways you can thank me." He said cheekily, reached down to grab my ass. I found it both annoying and hot. I backed out of the hug and shook my head at him.

"Easy there wolf boy. I just agreed to be your girlfriend five minutes ago...don`t push your luck."

"You`re the one that called me and asked me out!" Jacob laughed and sat back down on my bed.

"I`m going to the bathroom now...don`t touch any of my stuff."

"I won`t..." Jacob said eyeing the disaster that was my room. Shit, I knew I should have cleaned it.

When I came back from the bathroom, Jacob and my mom were talking in my bedroom. When she saw me she smiled and winked. Jacob was smirking. What the hell did she tell him? Urrghh mom! I love you but...seriously?

"What`s going on?" I asked them, crossing my arms and pouting.

"Nothing..nothing..just talking to Jacob. I`ll leave you two kids alone." She pottered off to the bathroom to shower. I turned to Jacob who was still smirking.

"What are you smiling at dipshit?"

"Nothing..." He smiled widely and sat down at my desk.

"Tell me." I demanded.

"Make me." He countered. I walked up to him slowly and sat astride him with my hands around his neck. He gripped the backs of my thighs and shifted me up higher so our privates were practically touching. It took a lot of self control not to grind myself into him.

"Tell me." I asked again sweetly.

"Make me." He said again, moving his head into kiss me. I moved back just as he was about to kiss me.

"Tell me...please Jacob." I ground myself into him a little which make him growl. That was such a fucking turn on.

"Fuck Sonia...you`re so sexy..." He said weakly, pulling me towards him. He buried his head between my neck and shoulder and nipped gently at my skin. Stop it Sonia! Not now! Later...mom could walk in any minute.

"Jacob...Jacob..come on...not here..not now.." I said with as much strength as I could.

"You taste so good...your skin is so soft.." He whispered into my ear. I moaned a little as he trailed his fingers along my waist. That was so hot. I felt my nipples stiffen.

"Jacob please...not here." I pulled away from him and stood up on shaky legs. Jacob followed suit and adjusted himself. I could see the tell tale bulge of his erection through his jeans.

"Sorry Sonia. I have a hard time controlling myself when it come to you."

"Me too."

"If I`m pushing you.."

"No, you`re not. I`m not doing anything I don`t want to do, believe me." I smiled at him and he returned it readily.

"So what do you want to do today?" He asked me.

"I told you to decide. Surprise me."

"Well, I kinda want to introduce my new girlfriend to my friends and family for one." He said...proudly. Is he really proud of me?

"Oh? Is she anyone I know?" I asked playfully.

"I think so. Just the hottest, most beautiful, talented, funniest and craziest girl in the world." He replied, wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh wow, that`s one girl."

"You sure are."

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20. Sorry about the late update. I went on a much deserved mini holiday and left all technology at home. Thank you guys so so much for the reviews from chapter 19. Again you guys are awesome. So nice. Anyways, happy reading and remember to tell me what you think. For the next chapters a lot more drama will be happening plus some lemons (I put it as M for a reason).**

"Where are we going?" I asked Jacob as guided me to his car. It was about eight in the evening and we were going on our first date. That morning and afternoon we spent at Billy`s and at Emily`s. Billy was over the moon at us finally getting together. The pack was shocked. As soon as we arrived to Emily`s Jacob surprised everybody, including myself, by tonguing me in the middle of the kitchen. We were congratulated on finally getting together. The only one who acted a bit off was Leah. It wasn`t jealously or anger I read off of her, it was something else that I couldn`t get a hold on. I knew she had nothing against me, we were actually turning out to be good friends, but I knew she and Jacob rubbed each other the wrong way.

"You said to surprise you." He seemed a little nervous. He opened the passenger door of the Rabbit for me and I got in, pulling the skirt of my dress down so not to show too much crotch or leg.

"I did, I know. Did I get too dressed up?" Jacob had dropped me home two hours ago so I could relax and get ready before we went out. I chose quite a lose fitting black T-shirt dress which my nana had told me was way too short and paired it with a pair of black ballet flats and my nicest jewelry. I put my coat and bag on my lap as Jacob got into the drivers seat and started the engine.

"Too dressed up? No...you look amazing, beautiful." He smiled shyly at me and fingered my necklace before kissing me gently.

"Thanks...you do too." He did look amazing, with and without clothes on. The guy could pull off a simple jeans and T-shirt combo for any occasion.

"Thanks." He said as he drove out of my drive. "So we are going to Port Angeles. I thought maybe a movie and then we could get a bite to eat." He said hesitantly. My heart went out to him...he so wasn`t experienced when it came to dating. I had been on a good couple of dates but they either ended with me being bored stiff or the guy trying to catch a feel.

"Sounds perfect." I said enthusiastically. Jacob visibly relaxed and grinned. I put his stereo on low and found my favorite rock channel playing Baba O`Reilly. I smiled and turned the volume up slightly.

"Who plays this song?" Jacob asked curiously.

"The Who."

"Who?"

"The Who. Come on, you must know The Who." I said, nudging him a little with my elbow.

"Oh yeah..The Who. I think my dad has some vinyl of theirs at home."

"You should listen to them." I suggested, Jacob had the weirdest taste in music ever. I once found a Maroon 5 CD in his bedroom. I hate judging people on their musical tastes but...come on! Maroon 5 Jacob?

"We could listen together maybe." He said, placing his warm hand on my bare knee and massaging it a little. It felt so nice having his hot skin touch my own.

"Maybe baby. What movie did you have in mind?"

"I checked the listings on the web, maybe Jane Eyre." Seriously? Jacob wanted to see Jane Eyre?

"As in the book we are reading for English? If you want." It was interesting but not the type of movie I liked seeing in the cinema.

"I thought girls liked those types of movies."

"Do you like them?"

"Not really." He admitted.

"How about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo?"

"If you want. Never heard of it." Poor Jacob, being a shapeshifting, vampire slaying teen wolf has really disconnected him from the normal world.

"I think you`ll like it more than Jane Eyre. The book is amazing, I`ll lend it to you if you want. Basically it`s about this girl called Lisbeth Salander who is a total bad ass computer genius with superior maths skills and a reporter called Mikel Blom...something. Anyways, they team up together to investigate the murder of a rich old mans niece. It`s awesome." I finished smiling which made Jacob laugh.

"If it`s as cool as you say then we`ll see it. Sounds better than Jane Eyre anyway."

"Cool."

"Are you a popcorn or a nachos girl?"

"I`m a chocolate covered peanuts girl."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah...they are my weakness. I never understood why they sell popcorn, which is the noisiest food ever, to people in the cinema."

"You have a point."

"Plus I always get salt lips afterwards, and terribly thirsty."

"I totally get what you mean. I hate getting popcorn skins stuck in my teeth."

"It`s the worst. Then you keep touching it with your tongue until you eventually pick it out...so annoying."

"So...The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo...chocolate covered peanuts...anything else?"

"Nope...the rest depends on you."

"Okay then. Won`t you be cold with bare legs?" He ran his hand up and down my thigh, causing my skin to goosebump with excitement. I felt my vagina being to heat up with this simple touch.

"Not when I`m next to you." I said quietly. Jacob`s hand squeezed my thigh lightly before he removed it and placed it on the steering wheel along with the other. The loss of his warm skin made me feel a bit chilly. He coughed and sat up straighter in his seat. The car was so not the place for this. I knew it and so did he. I wondered when will be the right time? I wanted to make love to him so bad. But I was afraid. Afraid of moving too fast. Of pushing things. What would happen when we are alone and I didn`t want things to stop? What would happen after that?

When we eventually got to Port Angeles and parked close to the cinema, Jacob took my hand and we walked the short distance. He was in a quiet mood, a watchful mood. He was on alert.

"What`s up Jacob?" I asked as we joined the queue for the ticket booth. He released my hand and put his arm around my shoulders and took another sweeping look around us.

"He`s here, they`re here. I can smell him, hear them." He said bitterly.

"Who?" I was perplexed.

"Bella and her leech. They`re here."

"Really?" Oh man! I didn`t need them spoiling my date with Jacob.

"Yeah, they`re inside, about to leave." Scary Jacob was back.

"So what? It doesn`t matter to us what they are up too. It`s about me and you tonight." I hugged around his waist and looked up at him. His face was set in a grimace but softened when he looked down at me. He drew me closer to his warm body and kissed the top of my head.

"I know...sorry. I just can`t help it. When there is a leech around..."

"I get it. It`s natural. You go into defense mode."

"More like attack mode." Jacob muttered and looked over at the entrance of the cinema. Sure enough, Bella and Edward came through the doors, hand in hand. Edward locked eyes with Jacob and gave him a death stare. Bella looked...like Bella. The perpetual lost little girl clutching at the hand of a grown up. She spied me and Jacob and her face turned sullen.

"Jacob...Sonia. A pleasure as always." Edward`s creepy drawl greeted us. Jacob tightened his hold around me. Who drugs a person? Seriously?

"Jake...I haven`t seen you in forever." Bella chimed up at him, her big brown eyes looked hurt.

"It`s because Sonia has given him an ultimatum. You or her. He chose her, although Jacob is a bit upset over it." What. The. Fuck? Mind reading cock sucker.

"Jake? Really? We are best friends."

"Leave it Bella. You chose what side you are on." Jacob spat. I was beginning to get really annoyed now. So Jacob was upset that he couldn`t see Bella?

"It`s not about sides Jacob! Why can`t we just get along?" She whined at him. Eurgh I just wanted to sock her in the face.

"Don`t even think about it Sonia." Edward hissed at me, baring his teeth. Jacob growled lowly and placed himself in front of me in a protective stance. They faced each other with unconcealed loathing and hatred. Ah crap! Not tonight!

"Come on Jacob...he`s not worth it! He wants a fight he`s that bored." I said as I tugged at Jacob`s hand.

"Keep out of this Sonia! It`s none of your business. It`s between me, Edward and Jacob." Bella snapped at me.

"And that`s the way you want to keep it, isn`t it? You are so obvious." I sniggered at her.

"You don`t know what you`re talking about." Bella said nastily. "This is between us."

"Anything got to do with Jacob is my business! Got it princess? Come on Jacob..We`re next." We were beginning to attract attention from the rest of the queue and two security men were watching us, waiting for someone to throw the first punch.

"This isn`t over leech. Not by a long shot." Jacob growled at a smirking Edward.

"Oh I know dog." Edward said before taking Bella by the hand disappearing down the street and around the corner. As soon as they were out of sight Jacob wrapped his arms around me for a brief hug before stepping up to the ticket booth to buy our tickets. I offered to pay for my own but Jacob refused it. I knew he didn`t have much money and patrolling kept him from getting a part time job. I felt horribly guilty all of a sudden. I hadn`t thought about how much tonight would cost.

"Hey Jacob, how about I buy the food?" I asked brightly. "Since you payed for the tickets. It`s only fair."

"No!" He growled angrily, scaring me a little. I looked down at the ground sadly. This night was totally ruined. I felt Jacob take my hand and I let him lead me inside and to the concession stand.

"So...peanuts right? And a coke?" He asked, a bit short.

"Just a coke..I`m not that hungry." I whispered to the sticky, carpeted floor.

"What`s up with you? Is it about the leech?"

"Sorta..." I said, still not looking at him. He sighed and pulled me into him.

"I know that look, and that tone. What did I do?" Jacob asked softly, craning his head down to try and look into my eyes.

"Nothing...don`t worry."

"So why are you pouting?"

"I don`t pout."

"You do and you are doing it now. Tell me...come on. I just want to make tonight special."

"I don`t want you to spend all your money on me tonight is all." I admitted. Jacob snorted.

"That`s why you are upset? My God Sonia...I have tonight...and all the rest of the nights covered so don`t worry over something stupid."

"Yeah but Jacob.."

"But nothing. This is our first date. I want to treat you. Please let me." I looked into his puppy dog eyes and melted, a small smile tugged at my lips.

"Is that a smile I see? Does my Lady want milk chocolate covered peanuts or white chocolate covered peanuts?"

"Milk chocolate...obviously." I said, eyeing Jacob`s beautiful red brown skin before meeting his eyes again. They were sparkling as they travelled along my face.

"Obviously." He whispered before lifting me up for a kiss. He pulled away and searched my eyes. "All better now?" He asked huskily. I nodded and he set me down on my feet.

"All better." I said, still thinking about Bella and what Edward said about Jacob being upset over not seeing her. Was I being selfish in demanding that? Should I just trust him?

We watched the movie which was really cool. A good choice. Jacob almost shielded during the horrible rape scene. Afterwards he said that he really enjoyed it and we commented on the various good points of the film. We walked over to the best pizzeria in Port Angeles ran by a really funny Italian couple called Aurelio and Mariella, who fought constantly in Italian at the back of the shop. The place was crowded but we managed to find a spot in the middle of two groups of friends. Jacob found me a stool and we ate our pizza happily. The noise didn`t bother me so much, neither did the people. With Jacob here beside me everything else just blurred away. We chatted away about music, movies, people we knew and would kiss every so often. Jacob kept away from the topic of the pack and the vampires. I guess he just wanted to have a normal night out and not worry about things so much. When he laughed his face would light up the way I remembered from before he changed. The way he looked at me made me hope that he really was falling for me. That he was finally feeling the same way about me that I feel for him.

"Why did you cut your hair?" He asked, running his fingers through the length.

"I cut it like two months ago." It had grown out a bit since then.

"Yeah I know, but that wasn`t my question." He said, tucking some hair behind my ear.

"I cut it because...I wanted to be different...to her." Jacob looked confused before finally rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"What a reason...man Sonia. You couldn`t be more different."

"Whatever." I said coldly. I was so annoyed.

"Come on...hair doesn`t make someone who they are."

"That`s what you think. Bella is all about her looks." I was pushing it. I knew I was. I couldn`t stop myself though.

"What do you mean. Bella doesn`t really care about that I don`t think."

"Come on Jacob. Tell me, if Bella was some ugly, overweight pizza face would you still have felt the way you do."

"Did!"

"Okay did. You wouldn`t. She has the whole fragile, white skinned weak damsel in distress thing going on. Men are attracted to that."

"Not true." Jacob said shaking his head. "Then why am I so attracted to you?"

"Because I`m your imprint silly."

"No...not the reason."

"Then what?"

"I`ll tell you when you promise to stop bashing on about Bella."

"Okay I`ll stop. Tell me."

"Yeah right." He said laughing.

"Come on Jacob! Tell me."

"I`ll think about it."

"One reason."

"Just one? Hmmm...you`re mysterious." He said totally serious.

"Mysterious? Me? You must be joking." I laughed as I took another bite of the pepperoni.

"It`s true. Sonia Mara. One girl you sure as hell don`t mess with, one that`s so graceful, looks like an angel and yet is tough, a lot tougher than some of the guys I run with."

"That`s not true."

"It is. You`re strong. You know what you want. But you are also sweet when you want to be...when you judge people worthy."

"What did you think of me before you imprinted?"

"Mostly the same. I didn`t know what to make of you then."

"A lot of people don`t."

"That`s true. When you flipped me off in the hallway the day after I imprinted on you...it was...I wasn`t expecting that." He laughed a little at the memory.

"I remember that. You were all intense and angry. I couldn`t for the life of me understand why."

"Now you do."

"I do."

We finished the pizza and decided to head back to La Push. Tomorrow was Monday and another week of school lay ahead. Before he dropped me at my house we parked a little bit away and started to make out. Jacob`s wandering hands felt the length of my legs and tried to find their way under my dress. I stopped him though. Not now. Don`t push things.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Jacob asked between kisses. It was so tempting. I wanted him to.

"My mom said no sleepovers until I`m eighteen."

"She doesn`t have to know." He whispered into my ear, causing shivers of pleasure to run down my entire body.

"No Jacob. I respect my mom too much. I don`t want to lose her trust." I said seriously.

"She`ll understand."

"No Jacob...please understand. Can you not wait six months to sleep in my bed?"

"April is ages away." He whined.

"We`ll see each other tomorrow."

"I`ll pick you up?"

"You `re so heavy." I said playfully as he pulled me in for another kiss. He moaned into my mouth which was so sexy.

"I can stay with you tonight?" He asked again hopefully.

"No Jacob, I`m not getting grounded."

"Hmmmm fine. What you want."

Jacob walked me to my door and we said our goodnights and kissed for one last time. When I had shut myself away in the bedroom that I had never felt so in love in my whole life. So weightless...so free. Jacob was that reason...and I was going to everything to keep it that way.

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and the chapters come quicker. Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks so much for all the wonderfully kind reviews from the last chapter. You guys are great. So so great. Anyways! Happy reading and remember to review and criticize at the end. **

It was easy to grow closer to Jacob after we had gotten our feelings out in the open. We are officially a couple now which was a bit strange for me. I had never really had a serious boyfriend before, I wasn`t that sure that I would make that great of a girlfriend but Jacob seemed to think otherwise. Well it was Friday evening now and I had finished my ballet class and was now crashed out on Jacob`s sofa, watching an old re-run of South Park, with my head resting on his lap with his fingers running slowly through my hair. It felt good, relaxing after a grueling day rehearsing for an upcoming Christmas performance of The Nutcracker. We were in his house on our own because Billy was at Old Quil`s place discussing council stuff.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you miss hanging out...with Bella?" I asked quietly. Jacob was in some sort of strange mood today. A bit glum, not very talkative.

"Do you want an honest answer to that? Because I don`t want to fight with you." His response was all the answer that I needed. I sighed as I sat up and looked at him. His expression was hard to read but his eyes were soft.

"Do you think I`m being selfish asking you to not see her?"

"No...I know you don`t like her Sonia."

"That`s true, I don`t like her. I hate her actually but...if you promise that you are just friends with her then...I suppose I`ll be okay with you seeing her...as friends." When I had said this Jacob looked a bit annoyed.

"I chose not to see her anymore Sonia, not because you told me you didn`t want me to." He said gruffly, crossing his arms and fixing me with an angry stare.

"I know Jacob but.."

"But nothing! You are so hung up on her!"

"How can you expect me not to be?"

"Are you serious? Oh my God you are! What do I have to do to prove to you that it`s you I want now?" He laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"You can see Bella...and not let anything happen." I said quietly.

"You think that if I see Bella I will still want her?"

"That`s what I`m afraid of. But I don`t know what will happen Jacob. I just don`t want to lose you. Especially not to her."

"You could never lose me." He said with a note of finality in his voice. He flicked through the channels with the remote to show that he was done talking about the subject. I sat and watched him for a while. He was looking at the TV with a hard faced expression. I decided then I was going to do something stupid.

I got up off the sofa and went into his tiny bedroom. It smelt like Jacob. Musky, woodsy...so masculine that it made my heart beat a little faster in anticipation of what I was planning to do. I took of my leggings, socks and sweater and sat down on Jacob`s bed in my bra and panties. A million different things were running through my mind. Excitement, fear, lust, would he care if I didn`t have a perfect bikini wax? After a couple of minutes I heard Jacob`s heavy footsteps come down the small hall and stop at the almost closed door.

"Sonia? Are you okay?" He asked.

"Em...yeah." I said a little breathless.

"What are you doing?" He asked confused.

"Eh...waiting for you." I replied. That didn`t sound as sexy as I had hoped. I bit my lip as Jacob came in. He drank me in with his eyes, his face a bit astounded.

"Waiting for me?" His voice was low and husky. It sent a bolt of heat to my vagina, making me squirm a little on the bed.

"Yes." I said as I removed my bra and panties. Fuck I wanted him. I wanted to screw him every position imaginable. I wanted to suck his dick like a whore and let him pound me into oblivion.

"Oh...fuck me..." He whispered out, his eyes darting between my breasts and pussy.

"Which position?" I whispered back, making him lock eyes with me. In an instant he was growling and tearing off his cut-offs and boxers and had me pinned underneath him on the bed. My heart was racing, my breathing ragged as he assaulted my mouth with his own. Oh man...oh shit I was turned on like crazy. I moaned into his mouth as one of his hands sought out my vagina and rubbed along my opening and clit with a gentleness that went against his earlier aggressiveness. Oh...shit...that feels like heaven. I let out a small whimper of pleasure as he teased my clit with his thumb.

"You like that?" He asked in a broken voice.

"Uh huh...yeah...so much...I love it..." I groaned up at him. I arched my back as he entered me with one large finger, and moaned as he added another. Oh God yes...I felt a deep and powerful orgasm growing inside of me. Jacob caught on and realized that my whimpers and thrusting pelvis was to encourage him to go faster. He increased the speed of his fingers and the pressure of his thumb on my clit. I couldn`t hold it any longer...I can`t drag it out anymore...I felt my walls spasm out of control as they gripped Jacob`s fingers tightly. Oh yesssss...yes...yes...yes...yessssssss. I cried out in pleasure and tugged on Jacob`s hair with all the strength I could muster in my present state. As the orgasm and the spasming finally subsided I released my hold on Jacob`s hair and sought out his mouth. We kissed passionately, possessively, until I broke it and got up off the bed and kneeled on the floor. Jacob looked at me dark eyed. He seemed a bit different. I had never seen him look at me with such desire...such possession.

"I want to taste you in my mouth...I want to suck that amazing dick of yours." Did I just say that? I had never sounded like such a slut. Jacob shook his head. What? He didn`t want it? Why not?

"Later...later you can do whatever you want to me...but right now my dick needs to feel that tight little pussy of yours..." I had never heard Jacob talk so dirty. It was hot. He grasped my arms and placed me down on the bed. He climbed on top of me and littered my face and neck with warm, wet kisses while his hands caressed my breasts and nipples. I moaned and pressed my pelvis forward onto his rock hard abdomen, inviting him in, asking him to do it.

"I need something.." He said from my neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin there.

"I`m on the pill.." I gasped out as he bit a little too hard.

"Perfect..." He whispered as he placed himself farther down between my legs. "Tell me if I hurt you...I want this to feel good." He said, looking into my eyes. I kissed him gently.

"I`ll tell you...I promise." He nodded and placed one large hand over my ass, tilting my pelvis up more while his other hand and arm supported his weight above me. I let out a singular grunt of surprise as his cockhead entered me. Wow...that was...wow. I huffed out a breath as he entered me some more. Christ...he was so big. It stung. It hurt. I wanted more. I clutched at his hips as he guided himself in farther. I groaned at the feeling. I looked up at Jacob`s head above mine. His eyes were fixed on my face. He looked down at me lustfully and gave me a weak smile and pushed himself in more, grunting. As he pulled out slowly he swallowed and then pushed in deeper and faster, making us both gasp. Oh fuck yes...it hurt a bit but not so much, I guess all my years of dancing and gymnastics did away with most of my hymen.

After a the first couple of thrusts he picked up the pace and before long he was making me scream with his ferocity and speed. He had his face screwed up in pleasure as he drove into with all he had to offer. Oh fuckkkk. Oh man it hurt but it felt like bliss. I never thought it would be like this, so...fulfilling. I took my legs from the bed and wrapped them around his waist securely as he lowered himself down on top of me so our bodies were pressed together. He was so hot and sweaty. I felt like I was on fire, not only on the surface but also deep within me, like I was coming to life with this one primal act, with the physical consummation of our connection. I took Jacob`s face in my hands and caressed his face. His mouth was slightly open and his face was a picture of undeniable pleasure. He opened his eyes and smiled a blissful smile at me. Cupping his large hands around my face he slowed down his thrusts and kissing me lovingly.

"My Sonia...my beautiful Sonia.." He whispered out after he pulled his mouth away and looked at me again. My heart ached at the sincerity of his words. I really did love him. Everything about him.

"I love you Jacob." I moaned out as he began to speed up again.

"I love you Sonia...so fucking much.." He grunted out quite aggressively. He brought his mouth down upon mine again.

After a while Jacob stopped and flipped me over onto my stomach, pinning my legs together with his powerful thighs and holding my hands just above my head. He was dominating me. It was a bit scary and awfully arousing at the same time. I lifted my ass as much as I could so Jacob could have better access. I didn`t want him to stop, I needed more of him. I felt his heat as he rested his body gently on top of mine. I felt like I was on fire, like all my senses were in overload. He entered me and I squeezed my legs tighter as he hit new spots deep within me that I had never known existed. While I was screaming into the mattress, Jacob released my hands and wrapped his arms around my waist and chest. He rested his head next to mine and as I turned to meet him he sought out my mouth and kissed me desperately. That did it for me, with the kiss and his hand that tenderly found its way to my clit I came again after just a few short rubs. How did he know what to do? What way to touch me?

"Oh Jacob...Jacob please..." I begged, not knowing what for.

"I`m gonna...come...Unngh Sonia..." He grunted into my ear. "I`m gonna come." I began to meet his thrusts at these words. I wanted him to come, I wanted to feel him come inside me. His groans began to sound more desperate as he eventually dug himself deeper inside of me and growled with a ferocity that belonged more to his wolf than to him. His hold on me tightened a bit painfully as emptied himself deep inside me. The growl subsided into Jacob`s normal voice as he panted and moaned into the back of my head. He was shaking a little while he released his grip on me. It took of strength to move my body out from under him as I felt like I had just ran a marathon. I lay on my side on the tiny bed while Jacob followed suit and lay down facing me. He wrapped a long muscled around around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I snuggled into his heat and closed my eyes. I was spent. Exhausted. My body was aching and I was pretty sure that I wouldn`t be able to walk right for a week at least. Jacob placed his mouth against my forehead and let out a deep shuddering breath of contentment. His fingers trailed absentmindedly against the skin of my waist and back.

"Are you okay?" He asked after a while. I nodded my head.

"Are you sure?" He pressed quietly.

"I`m sure. I feel great Jacob. I swear it."

"If I hurt you.."

"Don`t worry. How do you feel Jacob?"

"The greatest I`ve ever felt in my life." I lay down on my back and put my rested my arms behind my head. Jacob leaned over me and teased my nipples. "You are so beautiful." He cupped my small breast under his large hand, easily covering it. "Everything about you...I love your breasts."

"They`re a bit small." They were. I was a small B cup.

"They`re perfect, so soft." He bent forward and nibbled on one of my nipples. "So sweet." He licked around the rim before sucked all of it into his mouth. "I have been dreaming of touching them since the first time I saw you with no top on."

"Pervert." I tugged at his hair gently in reproach. He smiled impishly at me.

"Can`t blame me."

"Can."

"Can`t!"

"Can!"

"Can`t!"

"Did you really mean it when you said that you loved me?" I asked suddenly. Jacob nodded.

"Yes...I meant it. I love you Sonia Chesovi Mara." I was overcome with happiness. He really did love me! Oh man! I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him until I was out of breath!

"Wow...easy there!" Jacob chided playfully, running a finger along my lips.

"How did you know my middle name?" I asked curiously.

"I have my ways...my little bluebird." I blushed at that.

"Bluebird...I seriously think my dad was on crack when he picked that name." I snorted.

"Bluebird of happiness...of love. I think it fits you."

"Hmmm...do you know my confirmation name?" I wanted to know just how much he knew about me.

"I almost forgot you were Catholic. It`s Mary." I rolled my eyes at him. Of course he would know that.

"I not even going to ask how you know so much about me, Jacob Ephraim Black." I settled my hand on the wonderful curve between his ass and hip.

"Better not to know." He winked at me and I giggled.

"You were amazing Jacob...just now...you know. You made my first time perfect." He positively beamed at me with happiness.

"I did? Man...that`s good to know...great actually. You were perfect too. And thanks for making my first time the best experience of my life." He ran his hand through his hair, throughly disheveling it. "Man I`m hungry." I burst out laughing at that.

"What?"

"Nothing..nothing...so you`re hungry. You always are." I sat up and stretched out. I was aching. I gingerly felt my vagina. It was sticky with Jacob`s come. When I examined my fingers I found blood. So it looked like I hymen wasn`t as broken as I thought.

"You`re bleeding." Jacob said, taking my hand with bloody fingers.

"I`m not. It`s not unusual to bleed the first time."

"But there`s so much!" He sure was dramatic when he wanted to be. Part of me was touched though at how much he cared. I kissed his cheek.

"Don`t worry!"

"I knew I was too rough with you." He sounded ashamed.

"If you were I would have told you! Come on Jacob..."

"I can`t help it."

"I know...so food. Food...food.." I stood up and stretched out some more.

"Do you want to take a shower...with me?" Jacob asked, wrapping himself around me from behind.

"Do you really think I would miss out on a chance to soap that hot body of yours?"

"I am pretty hot." He laughed from behind me. I loved seeing him so happy. So carefree.

"Get in the shower teen wolf." I backed away from him playfully. He raised his eyebrows before crouching slightly and placing his body in such a way like he was getting ready to pounce. A wicked smile lit up his face as he watched me. Oh man! I`m in for it now.

"I`ll give you a head start...say five seconds to get to the shower first."

"And if I don`t get there in time?"

"You`ll find out."

"So time starts?"

"Now!" I squealed and made a dash for the door. I fumbled with the handle in my haste and as I got one foot out the door Jacob had already caught me and had me flung over one of his broad shoulders. "I win Sonia." He said, placing a kiss at the side of my ass.

"No fair, that wasn`t five seconds."

"You are just being a sore loser." He said as we entered the small bathroom. He placed me on my feet and his eyes were glinting mischievously. What the hell did he have in mind? When I looked down I saw the answer to my question. His cock stood rock hard and erect. The male body had always fascinated me. For me Jacob was the most beautiful man in the world. He was so vital, so powerful. He wasn`t perfect but his imperfections made him the more beautiful.

"I`m not exactly sorry I lost." I said honestly. Jacob smiled softly now.

"I want to be gentle with you now...not make love like before but...do other things...to make you feel good." He rubbed his hands down along my arms. I was touched.

"I would like that."

He turned on the weak shower and we stood under it in the bathtub. Jacob and I took our time washing each other. I sucked him off in the shower which was just an amazing experience for me as it was for Jacob. It was something different. We were getting more intimate, both physically and emotionally. The bond we shared was getting deeper as we felt more comfortable sharing parts of ourselves that we hadn`t shared before. The only topic we stayed away from was his mom and my dad.

When we had finally finished we went back to Jacob`s bedroom. He brought in new sheets as I toweled myself dry and made the bed afresh. He lay me down on the bed and kneeled between my open legs on the floor. Oh...okay...that`s what he wanted to do. It was something that I hadn`t done before. I still felt a bit tender down there but as soon as Jacob placed his warm mouth against there I felt instantly soothed. I knew what he was doing wasn`t to bring me to orgasm, it was just meant to feel good for me. I pulled him away after a while and eventually I fell asleep next to him. Listening to his heart beat next to me I had never felt so peaceful.

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	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22. Hope you guys enjoy. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews from the last chapter. You guys are great! **

**Anyways, remember to review and criticize at the end. I want to know what I am doing right and wrong here. If you have any suggestions or questions please feel free to PM me or comment away. Happy reading and enjoy!**

"Hey Bluebird." I heard Jacob call out from behind me as I was coming out from the bakery.

"Don`t call me that!" I reproached, a bit annoyed. I buttoned up my coat as he bent down to give me a kiss.

"Why not? It`s cute. How was work?" He asked, pulling me into his warm chest and wrapping his arms around me.

"It was okay. Got you a present." I said as I pulled away. I pushed a cake box into his hands.

"A present? Mmmm cheesecake." He said as he opened it. "What`s the occasion? My birthday is another month away."

"I know it is Mr. I`m going to be eighteen soon. Jim said he will help me make you a birthday cake the day before."

"You`re making me a cake? Wow...thanks Bluebird."

"JACOB!"

"Sorry..sorry...thanks Sonia. So, what`s the cheesecake for?" He asked as he held my hand and walked me over to my car.

"It`s a "Thanks for being a wonderful boyfriend" cake." I said embarrassed. Jacob laughed and then kissed me lovingly.

"You are too cute. I`m trying my hardest. I`ve never really had a girlfriend before."

"You went out with Stacy Webster."

"Stacy Webster! On man, that was like in the ninth grade for like a month!"

"It counts though. So...what are you doing here?" I told him I didn`t want to be ferried around anymore. I was perfectly capable of driving myself anywhere I needed to go.

"Making sure you get home safe...there`s been...some trouble." He whispered, his countenance instantly turning serious. Trouble could only mean one thing...vampires.

"Shit Jacob...since when?"

"About a week. This red head vamp keeps trying to breach our perimeters and get from our land into Forks. She`s one fast bitch I can tell you that! We just don`t know what she is after."

"Fuck...that`s some heavy shit Jacob." I looked up at him, my Jacob, my soulmate. It wasn`t fair that someone so young had to protect so many people. Risk his life. My heart clenched at the thought of ever losing him. I wrapped myself around him and hugged him tight.

"What`s the matter?" Jacob asked soothingly.

"I just wanted to hold you is all." I said into his chest.

"Hmmphf...I`m not going to get hurt Sonia. I promise you. One vampire can`t do much harm."

"Now she is only one. What if she brings more?"

"They don`t usually travel in more than three. The Cullen`s being the exception."

"I know but.."

"Please Sonia. You don`t need to worry about this. I don`t want you to worry! Christ...I would never let one of them harm you. NEVER!"

"It`s not me I`m worried about." I was beginning to freak out. I knew I was and so did Jacob.

"We`ve been through this. I am built to attack them."

"I know.." I said quietly. I was still afraid for him though.

"Come on. Let`s go home. Or if you want we can do something here?"

"Nah...I want to go back to La Push. We could get started on some homework?"

"Seriously? Sonia Mara wants to do homework on a Saturday night?" He snorted while he ruffled my hair.

"Or we could do something else?" I said suggestively.

"Hmmmm...what did you have in mind?" Jacob`s face had brightened up a lot with this.

"Well..." I said as I stopped at my car and fished my coat pocket for my keys. "You can let me do some very nice things to you..." I leaned against the car and pulled Jacob into me. I ground my pelvis into him slightly, showing him what I had in mind.

"I`ll let you do whatever you want to me." He growled lowly into my ear, causing my heart to skip a beat. "If you promise to let me do whatever I want to you." Those words caused me to cream my undies. I looked into his dark eyes. I wanted him now.

"Where can we go?" I asked. My mom and nana were sure to be at home.

"My dad`s home...but Charlie Swan is picking him up later to go watch some game at his place."

"Great!" I said, maybe a bit too excitedly.

"Until then...we could hang out in my garage...you could help me fix some things..."

"What things?" I asked, playing along.

"You`ll see." He said wickedly. Lets go! Lets go! Come on!

"Can`t wait." I said as I let myself into the drivers seat. Jacob climbed in the passenger and I pulled out of the parking space and headed towards the rez. I was still a bit sore down there, Jacob sure broke me in yesterday, but I was eager to make love to him again now that I got a taste of it.

"Your car sure is a hunk of junk." Jacob commented, fiddling with the broken glove compartment.

"I know, but it was all that I could afford. It`s older than we are."

"I know. I`m going to fix it up for you." He declared. I smiled and made to hold his hand but he placed mine back on the steering wheel gently.

"Keep both hands on the wheel Bluebird." Oh crap. I knew his mom died in a horrible head on collision. I couldn`t blame him for being ultra safe about those types of things.

"Sorry." I said awkwardly.

"It`s okay. I just don`t want you to...have an accident." He said quietly.

"I understand."

"I know. So...when can I get my hands on this sorry excuse piece of crap you call a car?"

"Hmmm...whenever you want. I`ll give you the money to buy whatever you need for it...it can be like my Christmas present."

"Nope...I already know what I`m getting your for Christmas. I`ll get whatever parts you need also."

"Jacob! That`s not fair!"

"Is so. It just needs some servicing. You can pay me in other ways Bluebird."

"Oh man...quit it with the Bluebird already."

"Nah...I like it."

"Well I don`t."

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"JACOB!"

"You are so easy to annoy!" He said laughing. "Okay I`ll stop Sonia. Sorry." He opened the box with the cheese cake, picked it up by its paper plate and began to eat it.

"Eh..gross!" I shook my head at him.

"I`m hungry...and it`s good..did you make it?"

"No. I don`t bake the cakes I just sell them." He shrugged and took another huge bite.

"You want some?"

"Maybe later...if you haven`t eaten it all by then." With that he put the cake back in the box. "So..what did you do today?"

"After I dropped you home last night patrol...sleep...patrol for a couple hours more...then here with you."

"If you need to sleep more just tell me."

"Whatever free time I have is Sonia time."

"We have all the time in the world Jacob...once the Cullens move away then you won`t have to phase so often, and we can live normally." I said happily.

"Yeah...once they move away." He said bitterly.

"Is something the matter?" I asked concerned.

"You know that Bella wants to be one of them?"

"A Cullen?"

"No, a vampire Sonia." He shook his head and laughed.

"You`re not serious? She wants to be a vampire? Nobody wants to be a vampire!" I was shocked. Oh gross Bella! I knew she was fucked up in the head.

"Well she does...she would give up everything...everyone...to be one of them." I sensed another meaning behind his words. He still had feelings for her. I felt like my heart stopped beating for a moment.

"If she gives everyone up so easily then she doesn`t deserve them in the first place." I said sadly. My earlier excitement about making love to Jacob again evaporated. I stared determinately at the road ahead. I was thinking of ways not to go over to his, making up believable excuses.

"Charlie...her mom...her friends...her humanity. For him...because she loves him."

"She doesn`t love him. She just loves what he is. Think about it Jacob. The prospect of eternal youth, instant beauty, strength. She wants it all because she`s nothing as a human. She wasn`t so torn up about Edward leaving that time because she loved him...she was torn up because when he left he took with him her chances of ever getting it. Then...then she latched onto you...like the leech she is...because you offered power and strength too, but a different kind. A kind that she could never have. Why do you think she dumped you just as discoballs decided to make a return? She thinks you are inferior because you can`t give her what she wants. And that Edward guy...fucking mind rapist...he has no respect for you or me. We are like dogs to him. Savages." I snorted. " Natives to be civilized." I added angrily.

"I don`t know Sonia. I think you hit the nail on the head with Edward but Bella...she is just misguided." I fucking knew he would defend her.

"Whatever Jacob...I fucking hate her guts. I still have to give her a good ass kicking before she turns all rock hard and shiny."

"Come on Sonia..." Jacob groaned. "What did she ever do to you?" I pulled over and killed the engine at these words.

"Are you serious Jacob? She calls me up threatening to kick my ass! She tries to fucking slap me! And you`re defending her? How stupid of me to expect anything different. I`m such a fool."

"That means nothing Sonia! She was just..."

"IT MEANS EVERYTHING!" I shouted at him. "Do I not have feelings too? Just because I`m not mealy-mouthed little fucking Bella...what is it you love about her so much huh? What is it about me that makes everybody think that I like being treated like dirt?"

"Just calm down...I would never treat you like dirt." Jacob said taking my hands but I slapped them away. "Come on Sonia. Its just that Bella doesn`t stand a chance when it comes to an ass kicking by you. I don`t want you to get into trouble." Yeah right Jacob. You don`t want your precious Bella getting hurt is the correct answer.

"Bullshit. You know what...I don`t want to go over to your place after all. I think I`ll just head home." I said spitefully. Jacob`s face was hard as he stared at me.

"Why have you suddenly turned on me? What do I need to do to prove to you that I love you?"

"You can see Bella for who she really is for a start!"

"I know Bella! I know deep down she doesn`t really want to be one of them."

"So what Jacob? You are fighting for her humanity or something? You`re a fool then, she is never going to choose you."

"Oh my GOD! This jealous bitch thing you have going on right now sure as hell is ugly Sonia!

"You`re right..I am jealous of her. And do you want to know why? It`s because my boyfriend, my spirit fucking mate or whatever isn`t over some chick who has never deserved him, who has never loved him."

"That`s not true Sonia. What I feel or have felt for Bella is nothing compared to the way I feel about you! I telling you the truth! I swear I am! If there was some way you could get inside my head and see it then you would believe me but there isn`t so you`re going to have to trust me! I love you with everything that I am!"

"I wish I could just believe that." I said sadly. I really did.

"Then just believe it. Please Sonia...We are the real deal." He lent over and kissed me gently. "Tell me what I need to do to make you happy again? What I need to do to make you smile?"

"You just need to be yourself Jacob. I don`t want you to change to make me happy. I just want you to be honest with me. Can you do that?"

"I can do that." He smiled at me happily.

"Really?"

"Yep, no problems there."

"Okay then, answer me this. Do you still have romantic feelings for Bella?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"You should trust me Sonia. I love you, only you. Maybe I have a soft spot for Bella but that is as far as it goes."

"Hmmppf." I pouted. Soft spot my ass.

"Come on Sonia..." He whined. "You`re my everything." Jacob leaned over to kiss me again and I let him. He was an idiot but should I trust him? I want to. I want to believe he is telling the truth.

"Come on. Let`s get back home." I said as I pulled away from him and starting back up the engine.

"My home or your home?" Jacob asked carefully.

"We could go to yours if you want. Hang out for a while."

"Yeah...we could watch a movie or listen to some music?" Jacob offered.

"Sure...what you want."

"It`s up to you Sonia. I just want to be around you."

"Watch a movie then."

"Okay...a movie. What movie do you want to watch?"

"I don`t care. Whatever is on I suppose."

"If you want to go home then...I suppose I`m okay with that."

"No. I want to watch a movie with you."

"If you`re sure.."

"I am sure. I want some of that cheesecake too you know." I joked at little. I glanced at Jacob who was smiling a little.

When we got back to his we were both in a quiet mood. We sat in the kitchen with Billy and talked about different things regarding the tribe and I asked a lot of questions regarding the wolves and other legends.

"But...I mean...if Taha Aki just left the village after his wife died how do we know he`s dead? Maybe he`s still out there?" Jacob laughed a little but Billy looked pensive.

"We don`t know he`s dead, that`s true. But if he was out there than he would still be Alpha of the pack. The boys would hear him."

"That`s true." I said defeated.

"You sound a bit sad." Billy commented, smiling a little.

"It`s a sad story. I mean...his wife did sacrifice herself for him, for the tribe. He must have felt..."

"Like he would die." Jacob finished for me, we locked eyes before Jacob came and wrapped himself around me from behind. He kissed my cheek repeatedly before resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Come on Jacob..." I said softly, turning my head to kiss him.

"Yeah...I know." He said as he untangled himself from me. Billy was watching the both of us, smiling slightly.

"So, what are you kids doing tonight? Any plans?" Billy asked, probably sensing we needed a change in conversation.

"Dunno, hang out..watch a movie perhaps." Jacob replied.

"Do you want to go canoeing?" I asked Jacob. We needed to get outside. Do something fun.

"It`s dark out now...and won`t you be too cold?" He seemed to be running the idea through his head. "Tomorrow morning maybe? Would be cool. I haven`t been canoeing in ages."

"Great. Tomorrow morning. What about tonight? You can let me ride your motorcycle perhaps?" I asked hopefully. I was itching to try it out.

"No way. I`m not letting you on the bike." Jacob shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Because your mom made me promise not to." He said. Of course she did.

"You don`t want to go against your mothers wishes now do you Sonia?" Billy asked. He was right. I didn`t want to do that. I respected her too much.

"You`re right. I don`t want to do that." I said a bit ashamed. She would be so disappointed.

"We could hang out at Emily`s place if you want?" Jacob offered. I didn`t really want to. She would make me bake something or some crap like that. I wanted to be with my friends. Talking about nothing and having fun.

"Maybe we could hang out with Bernie and Ollie?" I asked hopefully. Jacob made a face.

"Sonia...Ollie kinda hates me...and I`m not his biggest fan either." I had told Jacob about the fact that Ollie and I used to do things together. He had taken the news stoically but I knew he was jealous.

"I want you guys to get to know each other. He`s a really nice guy, and Bernie is my best friend." Well she used to be anyway. I couldn`t be totally honest with her anymore and it broke my heart. Jacob seemed to sense what I was thinking about.

"I know...it`s just dangerous letting other people get too close to the secret. I remember when Embry first phased and he totally ignored me and Quil. Then I phased...then I knew...and I had to ignore Quil. It totally hurt." The pain of that memory flashed across his face momentarily. I felt sorry for him. I suppose that if I was part of this world then I would have to gradually let some of my once close friendships grow ever more distant. The thought saddened me deeply.

"What`s the matter with my little bluebird?" Jacob asked, lifting me up so I was face to face with him.

"I told you not to call me that." I reminded him.

"That`s true. So...what do you want to do tonight." He asked me again. I looked over at Billy who was putting on his jacket and hat to go out with Charlie.

"I think we should just stick to our original plans." I said with a hint of suggestion in my voice.

"Sounds perfect." Jacob regarded me with wandering eyes before whispering in my ear. "When we`re done you won`t be able to walk right for a week, I promise you."

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	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: Hope you enjoy and thank you thank you thank you so so so so much for all the wonderful reviews from the last chapter. I`m glad you guys liked it. Anyways...this is more of a lemony chapter and not really much more. Happy reading and remember to review and criticize at the end. **

Jacob and I were camped out at the kitchen table eating the rest of the cheesecake when Charlie Swan finally arrived to pick up Billy. He greeted me rather awkwardly which was not surprising and asked how my mom was. I told him she was good, that she was now dating an older man from Port Angeles who ran his own, very successful, timber yard. Michael was his name and he was quite nice. He had no kids from his first wife and didn`t know how to act around me, which was really funny. He wasn`t native, he was Irish-American, but he was cool. He knew how to treat a lady. And my mom was a lady. She deserved a good man in her life. She has been celibate for way too long.

Charlie stuttered out a "that`s nice" before heading out with Billy and leaving me and Jacob alone. I wondered what way things would play out. We both knew what we wanted to do right now, but I wanted Jacob to make the first move.

"Finally...we have the place to ourselves." Jacob said, as he watched Charlie`s police cruiser drive off from the kitchen window. He turned to me with a half smile.

"That`s true. Do you want to have a look at my car now?" I asked sweetly.

"Not now no." Jacob smiled, raising his eyebrows. He sure was cute. I felt the butterflies begin to flutter inside my belly.

"Okay. Do you want to play monopoly?" I asked, getting out of my chair and heading for the monopoly box underneath the TV. I was suddenly up in the air and held against Jacob`s hot body. A burst of excitement ran through me, making me so aroused.

"Maybe some other time Bluebird." He whispered into my ear. He began to smell my hair and neck, giving me small kisses every so often.

"Then...then what do you want to do?" I whispered out.

"I want to do lots of things, all of them involving you." He set me down on my feet and turned me around to face him. He ran his fingers and hands through my hair before cupping my face. He looked me dead in the eye with an intensity that made me get so uncomfortable that I had to look away.

"Look at me Sonia...please." He asked in a husky whisper. I swallowed and met his eyes again.

"It`s like your eyes hold all the secrets of the universe...they hold everything that is beautiful. Sometimes...sometimes when I look into them...it`s like I can see your soul, your heart, it can be overwhelming sometimes. When I looked into your eyes the first time...I felt like I was hit on the head with a boulder. Dumbstruck. I wanted to get lost in those eyes forever." Oh God...wow...Jacob had made me actually made me speechless. "You are a Goddess you know that? For me...no other woman could come close to you...I don`t deserve someone as forgiving as you...as loving as you." He looked pained and because of that I finally found my voice.

"What do you mean Jacob?"

"What I did to you. How I treated you in the beginning...it was unforgivable. All those things I said to you...to make you hate me. What a fucking moron I was! It`s just fucking things up now."

"Come on Jacob..."

"Please...please believe me. I have never hated you. Every bad, stupid, idiotic thing I said made me feel like I was stabbing myself with a blunt knife. I was afraid of you, of what you represented."

"I understand Jacob...believe me. You were afraid because I represented what you really are. Something you didn`t choose."

"I thought it was about choices, I thought if I chose Bella then something in my life would still stay normal. In my control. With you there are a lot of choices...you are my spirit wife, we could have chosen to be friends if we really felt that way, but we didn`t chose that. You fell in love with me, I fell in love with you. I want to look into those eyes of yours and see that love you have for me every minute of every day. I want to deserve you."

"I want to deserve you Jacob. I want to deserve being the spirit wife of a brave warrior, of a protector. I don`t know if I do though."

"Of course you do. You have made me the strongest I`ve ever been. You`ve given me more confidence, more insight, more strength. I don`t know what I can give you though, just my love, my protection, my everything if you need it."

"You make me complete. Less stupid. Your love is all I need." I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me by my waist and looked down into my face, searching, eyes wandering round my features till he rested on my eyes again.

"I love you Sonia. I`m not afraid to say it anymore."

"I love you Jacob." I reached up on my tippy toes to kiss him. I needed to kiss him. My body and soul craved it. Ached for it. As soon as his lips touched mine my mind was clouded by Jacob, just Jacob and nothing else. The touch of his ever warm skin as he reached under my top to caress my waist and back. The feel of his hot mouth and moist tongue as it massaged my own was heavenly, made my body and all my senses come alive. My hands found their way under his t-shirt to touch his rock hard chiseled abdomen. He was perfection. I trailed my finger down the little trail of hair from his belly button to the waist of his pants. I felt the length of his cock through his pants and gripped it hard which caused him to groan loudly into my mouth. He lifted me up and carried me off to his bed room. Once there he placed me on his bed and began to undress me slowly.

"You are so beautiful Bluebird...so precious." He said as he pulled off my jeans and socks.

"So soft..." He said as he removed my panties, feeling the length of my legs.

"So perfect." He took of my top and bra last, kneeling in front of me and kissing my breasts.

"Make love to me Jacob." I whispered, pulling off his t-shirt. "Let me show you how much I love you." I unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers. His cock stood free and erect. Something amazing and mysterious. I took a firm hold of him stroked him hard and slow while he sucked and bit on my nipples until they were tender.

"Lay down on the bed." I commanded him. He complied and lay down. Placing myself between his legs I began to lick and suck on his dick, making sure not to go too fast, I wanted him to last.

"Tell me what you want Jacob." I asked him.

"I want what you want." He replied weakly as I sucked on his cock head as hard as I could. Eventually I broke off and sat straddling him. I wasn`t sure what way I should be doing this because he was so big. One thing I did know was that I wanted him inside of me. I took my weight off my knees and sat squatting just above his cock. He helped me to balance by taking one of my hands firmly and guided his cock to my tender wet opening with his other. I moaned as I lowered myself onto him slowly. His hand released mind and joined his other on my ass, guiding me farther down onto him. I placed my hands on his forearms and began to ride him at my own slow pace. Damn he felt great filling me up inside. There was no rush, I wanted to enjoy every inch of him. I whimpered in pleasure as I took more of him inside me. Jacob and I locked eyes as I sped up. His face was a picture of pure adoration as his eyes roamed my figure.

Needing more of him, I bent over and rested on top of his warm chest and nuzzled into his neck. I let Jacob control the pace of things now. He gripped my ass as he moved inside of me. Oh man that felt like heaven. Everything he did to me felt so good. Even the sound of his grunts and groans made me get evermore excited.

"Do what you want to me Jacob..." I moaned out as he worked me with such intensity that I felt the tell tale signs of an orgasm grow steadily from deep within me.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice a little broken. YES! YES!

"I`m sure."

He flipped us over so I was on my back. He sat upright positioned himself between my legs. Gripping my legs under my knees he spread them apart and as wide as they could go. He entered me slowly at first, keeping eye contact with me to see if I was hurting, then, when he was satisfied that I was enjoying it as much as he was he increased the force and speed. I gripped the side of the mattress and the pillow under my head and screamed in ecstasy as the growing orgasm reached it`s height and exploded within me. My legs in Jacob`s iron hold shook as wave upon wave of pleasure flowed through my body.

"Shush shush...Jacob please...slow down...go slower..." I begged. The sensations were too much...my inner convulsions seemed in no way stopping. I jumped a little as Jacob released one of my legs and thumbed my clit softly. Oh man...oh God yes! I fisted my hair as another orgasm rocked my body, more powerful than the first. If there was anyone outside or near this place they must think that I am being murdered with all the screaming.

"Please Jacob...please..." I begged again. He grabbed my ankles and flung them over his shoulders. He then lowered his body down and balanced his weight on his arms. He began rocking into me at a slow speed.

"Tell me what you want Bluebird." He said lovingly.

"I want...ahhhhh..." I moaned out as he sped up without warning. He felt so fucking good.

"What do you want?" He asked again. I gripped his powerful arms with all my strength. What did I want?

"Ahhhh...I want you..." Like that made any sense. Jacob changed his angle slightly and hit a place inside me that felt like fucking bliss.

"You want me to what?" He panted down at me. He thrust and hit the spot again. I cried out and felt another orgasm coming to life. I groaned and arched my back so I could feel it again. He placed one large hand under the small of my back and thrust, again and again and again, making me cry and whimper with pleasure. I was so close...so fucking close. I felt it coming...Oh God...Oh yes.

"I`m gonna come Sonia..." He growled down at me. I barely registered his words as my clit started to throb and the walls of my vagina convulsed and spasmed out of control. I screamed in delight Jacob`s pounding became more and more erratic, his groans more desperate as he gave one final push and roared in pleasure, filling me with his seed deep within me.

He collapsed on top of me in a sweaty, roasting heap and nuzzled into my neck. I was light headed...not really registering his weight on top of me. My body felt like mush and I was blissfully contented. I gingerly placed my hands in Jacob`s hair and ran my fingers through it. After a while Jacob lifted me up and placed me securely at his side. I wound one heavy leg over his and placed my hand over his heart, feeling the steady thump thump thump.

"I love you Sonia." He whispered out.

"Love you too Jacob." I said as I snuggled into him more. I was spent, so was he. I shut my eyes and surrendered myself to sleep.

It seemed that I had just slept one minute before I was awoken by some gentle shaking. I barely heard my name being called softly.

"Sonia...come on, wake up. My dad will be home soon."

"Mmmmm okay..." I mumbled into the pillow as I lay on my stomach. The shaking persisted.

"Wake up. Come on. Don`t make me throw a glass of cold water over you." He threatened.

"Do it and die." I said as I opened one sleepy eye. I could see Jacob getting dressed. So he was serious then. I sure could use another hour or two of rest.

"Get dressed and you can sleep all you want on the sofa with me." Jacob promised, throwing my underwear at me. I sleepily sat up and pulled on my clothes and let myself be led out into the living with Jacob. He put on the TV and sat me down on his lap on the sofa. I snuggled into his warmth once more and watched what he had put on.

"When will your dad be here?" I asked yawning.

"In about five minutes. Are you hungry?" He asked.

"Not really. Do you want to have dinner at mine?" I asked him. It was about half past seven. My mom and nana would be finished dinner by now. "I could cook you something?"

"What would you cook me?" He asked smiling.

"Hmmm, salmon and avocado?"

"What`s up with you and avocados? You eat them like everyday."

"They`re healthy." I said defensively. Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Have you ever...you know...had issues with eating?" Jacob asked carefully.

"Emm no Jacob. Do you mean like anorexia or bulimia?"

"Yeah..."

"No...never."

"Good. Because you are perfect the way you are."

"It helps that I`m very active though. If I did no sport and pigged out all the time then I wouldn`t look so perfect."

"You would still look perfect." Jacob said firmly.

"Sure...whatever you say."

"It`s true Bluebird."

"Okay Coby."

"Coby? Oh man! Please don`t call me that." He whined.

"You don`t like Coby? Why not?"

"Because I was never a Coby. I was always a Jacob or Jake."

"I like Coby." I didn`t know if it was true or not. I smiled anyway.

"No no no no. Please Sonia." He begged, kissing my cheek.

"No more Coby if you promise not to call me Bluebird."

"Fine. No more Bluebird Bluebird." He grinned at me before kissing me lovingly.

"So dinner at mine?" I said again.

"Sure. You haven`t cooked for yet so I can`t wait."

"You haven`t cooked for me either." I countered, crossing my arms.

"Okay. Tomorrow I`ll cook you lunch. What would my Lady like?"

"Surprise me. What do you want tonight? We could make a trip to the store if you don`t want salmon."

"Being a wolf I kinda always have a hankering for red meat." He admitted.

"Beef stir fry?"

"Sounds great." He said, rubbing his impossibly flat belly.

"Great. Will your dad be okay here when we go?"

"Of course he will. Don`t let the wheelchair fool you Sonia. He can take care of himself pretty well."

"He`s a good man." I said honestly. I wish my dad was like Billy. Devoted to his family.

"He is...is your dad...out of prison yet?" I wasn`t angry with Jacob for bringing him up. I knew it would come up sometime.

"He is...almost a year now I think." I squirmed awkwardly on Jacob`s lap.

"And he...hasn`t made any contact with you?"

"He sent a letter about six months ago. Nothing really interesting. Just letting me and my mom know he was free and was moving up to Alaska." That was literally what the letter contained. No how are yous...no nothing.

"Wow."

"It might as well have been a letter from a stranger."

"I`m sorry." He pulled me into a cuddle.

"Don`t be. Honestly...I didn`t feel sad...maybe a disappointed but not sad. I don`t know the man and he doesn`t want to know me. It`s not exactly something I can do something about. It`s not something I can change."

"You`re pretty strong Sonia. It`s his loss for not wanting to know the beautiful woman his daughter has turned out to be."

"Thanks Jacob. That has made me feel really good about myself." I kissed him lovingly before hopping off his lap and stretching out.

"I`ll never leave you Sonia. I`ll always be here for you...giving you what you need."

"Jacob...come on..." I said as he stood up and wrapped himself around me. I felt kinda weird. And scared. What if he ever fell short of that promise?

"I promise I`ll always protect you."

"I`m almost a grown woman Jacob. Do you know what overprotectiveness does to a person?"

"What?" He asked smiling.

"It makes them less confident and independent."

"Two qualities you definitely don`t lack."

"Because I was raised to learn by my mistakes. It`s natural. I use my own judgement in things. I`m seventeen. I don`t want to go through life holding someone`s hand for fear I might fall."

"You`re feisty. I like it. I don`t mean protecting you like that. I mean protecting you from bad men and filthy leeches."

"In that case I welcome that kind of protection. You don`t need another Bella on your hands now do you." I raised my eyebrows at him. He laughed.

"Can you please not always bring her up?"

"I like making fun of her though." I pouted.

"Bad bad girl." I spanked my ass lightly.

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and the chapters come quicker. **


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24. Sorry it took so long. I have had a lot on my plate the past few weeks. Thanks for reading and reviewing the last chapters. You guys are great. So so so great. Anyways. Hope you enjoy. Remember to review and criticize at the end. It makes the story better you know. Happy reading.**

"I am so going to get you back for splashing me." I told Jacob as we paddled back to the small wooden pier. I was thoroughly soaked and freezing but I had never felt as happy.

"Oh yeah? How exactly?" He challenged, smirking at me over his shoulder.

"Like I`m going to tell you how I`m going to get you back, you just better be on your toes Jacob Black." He laughed as he gracefully jumped from the canoe onto the pier. He bent down and hauled me up by my arms. Once on my feet I gave Jacob and quick kiss on the mouth.

"That was way too quick." Jacob smiled down on me. Even though the sky was grey and the wind and rain was beginning to pick up, his smile could light up a pitch black room. He bent down and kissed me sweetly. I must look like the dopiest girl in the world, standing there soaked and in a life jacket, with a sappy smile on my face. This is so not me. Or is it me?

"What do you want to do now?" I asked him happily. He looked down at me apologetically.

"I need to run patrol in about an hour. I`ll take you home and we can hang out for a while but I`m afraid that`s it for the next couple of hours. Sorry." He said sadly. I gave him a smile and a light punch on the shoulder.

"Buck up there champ, patrol can`t be that bad." I didn`t know that much about patrols besides what Jacob had told me. He mostly said that it was boring as hell.

"It`s not. It`s just that I`m stuck with Leah and Jared tonight."

"What`s wrong with them?" I asked. I was curious. Jacob seemed to really hate Leah, and I mean hate her. And from what I have seen of the two of them the feeling seemed to be mutual.

"It`s just that Leah is such a bitch. She brings everybody down with her pathetic yearning for Sam. Can you think about how Emily feels about that? With Leah being so obvious." He gave a horrible snort of laughter. "And Sam...he wishes that Leah would just disappear. We all do." I never thought I could think Jacob capable of saying such an ugly thing about a person and really mean it. I unbuckled my life jacket and put on my raincoat.

"How can you be so horrible Jacob?"

"How am I being horrible? I`m telling the truth."

"Your truth. Sam`s truth. The packs truth and maybe Emily`s truth. But that`s not Leah`s truth. Do you really think her motives for acting the way she does is to bring all of you down?"

"Yeah, she does things on purpose just to stir shit."

"It mustn`t be easy being the only girl in a gang of boys."

"She isn`t a real girl." Jacob said nastily.

"Of course she is. Don`t be such a jerk." I was beginning to get angry.

"She isn`t. Think about it. The only girl in history to phase. She even stopped getting her...period. Even she thinks there is something wrong with her. Something not quite right."

"And you`re making her feel even worse I bet." I accused.

"Yeah well...she makes everybody feel bad." Why was Jacob so bitter? "Just...don`t believe everything she says." What the fuck does that mean? I instantly got suspicious.

"What would she tell me?" I asked innocently, looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"Nothing interesting...I`m just warning you to keep your guard up."

"Keep my guard up...when it comes to Leah...yeeeaaahhh."

"I mean it Sonia. She`s bad news."

"She`s your pack mate Jacob!"

"I know...but still...just be careful around her."

"She`s my friend!"

"You can do better. What about Emily? You could be good friends with her." Emily? Mrs. Mom? Yeah right...I mean Emily is nice but she`s so...? And I also found it a bit weird how she doesn`t seem to care how lovey dovey she acts with Sam in front of Leah. I couldn`t say that to Jacob though. It would get back to Sam with the whole mind meld thing. In truth I felt that Leah was the loser in this whole mess. She didn`t even come out with a medal. All she got was a coat of fur and unlimited access to her ex-boyfriends thoughts. She also had to live with the knowledge that her initial phasing had brought about her dad`s fatal heart attack. How shit was that? How could anyone fault her for acting like a bitch?

"I`m already friends with Emily." I replied pathetically.

"I know...I know. It`s just that...and don`t take this the wrong way `kay." Jacob seemed scared.

"What?"

"Sam and Emily kinda think that you are not taking your responsibilities seriously."

"What? What exactly am I not taking seriously?" I hissed, rounding on Jacob.

"Forget it..."

"No I won`t. What responsibilities do I have exactly?"

"Well...the imprints are supposed to...provide support for their wolf...be there for meetings...food...clean clothes...things like that."

"So. Do Sam and Emily think this or do you?"

"I knew you would take this the wrong way." Jacob groaned.

"Come on Jacob. What more do you want me to do for you? Put on an apron and heels and flitter around your kitchen baking muffins?"

"No! It`s just..."

"Spit it out!"

"It`s like you don`t take this seriously! Either that or you are ignoring all the bad stuff." He said seriously. I was a bit taken aback.

"I do take this seriously." I whispered up at him. "I`ve seen how serious this whole thing is. What more do you want from me Jacob? I don`t know what else I`m supposed to be doing. I go with you wherever you want me to go. I would listen to you if you wanted to open up about your feelings. If you need money for clothes or stuff I`d give it to you."

"I don`t want your money!" He almost spat. "I just want you to be more mature about this...about the danger, the leeches. You act so flippant sometimes. Like it`s a big joke!"

"I don`t!"

"You do! You keep on going on and on about how when after the Cullen`s leave we will have a normal life. You are talking about college, about jobs, about a load of shit that we can`t have!"

"What are you talking about? Of course we can have all that stuff! When you can stop phasing we can go anywhere. Do anything."

"Bullshit. This is what I`m talking about Sonia. I`m bound to here. To La Push. The vamps won`t be going anywhere. The Cullen`s might leave eventually. But others will come because they were here. There are more and more boys threatening to phase."

"We can still..."

"No! We can`t! If I`m bound here then so are you! Understand? We can`t be separated. It`s too painful. Even if you left for college or some dance school and still came home every night you will feel it. The longer the distance between us the more painful it gets. That`s what you don`t understand. Even if you decide that one day you hated me, that you didn`t want me anymore, you would still have to stay here, be near me, see me everyday." He grabbed me by my upper arms put his face right into mine. "That`s what I mean by you not understanding all this shit...all this bad stuff. I`m afraid that once you realize fully, you will resent me."

"I`d never resent you. Never Jacob." I vowed. I hated when he suddenly changed like this.

"You would. When you realize that you can`t follow your dreams because you`re stuck here, in this rainy shit hole."

"A dream is only a dream Jacob. I have had lots of dreams and lots of them have changed. Do you know what my dream was when I was twelve?"

"What?"

"I wanted to be an archaeologist. Just like Indiana Jones."

"Come on Sonia...you know what I mean. I don`t want to hold you back and I am."

"You`re not! Jacob...Jacob please...I understand. I do. Really. Do you really think I would want to be away from you and miserable? You`re my dream now. You always will be." I hugged him around the waist and breathed in his smell. He smelt faintly sweaty and very Jacoby. I sighed and held him tighter. I loved him so much that is was scary. It was scary as hell to be honest at how quick it came and how intense it was. How deep it was. And I knew, I knew deep down that he was still in love with Bella. I knew his feelings for Bella were still fresh. If I was ignoring anything I was ignoring that. I knew it was easier to give in to my own feelings, let myself love him fully, in the hopes that one day he would forget her and love me only. I also understood the reason why he didn`t want me to be around Leah. She knew. She could see inside his head and know what know what he was really thinking. Jacob could count on the boys on keeping their mouths shut. But Leah...he was afraid of her.

"Sonia. I...I love you. I want you to do what makes you happy."

"You make me happy. So I guess I could do you then." I said cheekily. Jacob gave a little chuckle of laughter.

"I`ll take you home. Or to Emily`s if you want." Emily`s? Fuck that.

"I`ll go home. I smell like seaweed. Plus I have a dinner with my Mom and Michael tonight."

"How are they?"

"He`s going to ask her to marry him." I said happily.

"He is! Wow! How do you know."

"He asked for my permission." I giggled.

"How could you not tell me this!" Jacob accused.

"You are so nosey. I was going to tell you eventually. I am so happy for them. If any man deserves my mom it`s him. Plus he`s not trying to be a dad to me. He treats me like an adult."

"That`s good. When do I get to meet him?"

"The next time he takes us out for dinner I guess. You`ll like him." Jacob regarded me with a small smile.

"You`re pretty happy aren`t you?" He took my hand and led me towards his motorbike.

"I am. He promised to get me a new computer for christmas." I gave a little squeal and grinned at the image of a new Mac on my desk in my bedroom. I actually couldn`t wait.

Jacob dropped me home and we had lunch with my nana. When he left I showered and sat down to msm with Bernie. She told me that her and Ollie had done it for the first time this afternoon in the back on his Toyota in the woods. After that I called her for more details.

"Fucking slut. How was it?" I greeted Bernie who erupted into girlish giggles.

"Fucking amazing."

"And in the back seat. I thought you had some class." I giggled back at her.

"It just happened. Fuck me he has a magic tongue."

"Gross! He went down on you?" I breathed down the phone. "That`s hot."

"Yeah...it was. Mother fuck me it was amazing."

"I fucked Jacob."

"Sick. You did Black? How was it?"

"Amazing, he`s...wonderful."

"How big is he? You already know how big Ollie is. Dish bitch. I want details."

"Long and thick, I`d say about ten inches. Fucking almost crippled my vagina."

"Oh my God! Ollie`s about eight. You win with about two inches. I can`t believe we`re not virgins anymore. This is so weird."

"I know right!"

"Why did it take so long to discover Ollie?"

"You guys have been friends for so long. It`s difficult getting out of the friend zone."

"It just hit me one day. Like it was for you with Jacob. Hey! By the way. Are you okay with Jacob still hanging out with that Bella chick?"

I felt my insides turn to ices at Bernie`s words. He was still seeing her? When he promised me that he wasn`t? He was fucking lying to me! He was...I am going to kill him.

"When did you see them together?"

"Oh my God! He hasn`t told you that he was seeing her has he? Fucking asshole. You are way hotter than she is. You can get any guy you want."

"I know I`m hotter than her. Where did you see them?"

"When I was with Ollie just off second beach, about an hour ago." An hour ago. Just after he left. Patrol my ass.

"What were they doing? Kissing?" It was strange. The sick sense of satisfaction I felt with every piece of information I got. I felt a strange boiling sensation in the pit of my stomach and tears begin to sting my eyes. Don`t cry. Don`t fucking cry over him.

"No, they were sitting in the sand...holding hands and talking from what I saw." Bernie said carefully. I felt a hot tear escape and cascade down my cheek. I wiped it away hastily and took a couple of deep breaths.

"Do you think they would still be there?"

"I dunno Sonz. Do you want me to come with you and see?"

"No...I`m going to go and see for myself. Get some answers."

"Maybe they`re just friends?"

"Bullshit...it`s not friendship they have. Listen...I...I need to go. I`ll call you later."

"Sonia! Don`t do anything stupid. She`s not worth getting into trouble for. Maybe it was nothing...maybe they are just friends."

"Call you later."

"Okay...promise to call me."

"I promise." And with that I hung up.

I stood in my dressing gown and stared at my poster of Ian Curtis. What should I do? Go down there in hopes of catching them? Confront Jacob? Then the horrible truth of my earlier revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. Jacob still loved her! He loves me too but he loves her more. I let the tears fall freely now as I remembered something he told me the night before we officially got together. He said he didn`t want to lose me, lose this. This meaning me being in love with him. He wanted me to be in love with him. For whatever reason he couldn`t be content with just being friends. He was just as selfish as Bella was. How nice it was for him. Having a girlfriend who loves him to screw and then secretly seeing the girl he is really in love with. God only knows what he gets from her. Mental stimulation? She was the dumbest girl I`ve ever met!

I just couldn`t get my head around it. He knows what he`s doing. But I also knew that whatever was said between us, all the stuff he did for me was because he really did love me. But he didn`t love me like he loved her. I knew this all along and I still gave myself to him. Because I was stupid. Because I wanted him. Because I loved him. I love him. I am in love with him and he knows it. It`s the most powerful weapon he could use against me. He knew it. He saw it all along. And he exploited it. For what reason though? In the hopes that one day he would forget about her?

What am I to do? I`m not going to dinner that`s for sure. My mom would understand. I got dressed quickly and made my excuses to her and fled my house in my car. Where to go? Second beach? Billy`s? Emily`s? Where would they be? Leah? Leah! Yeah Leah! They only one who would have the balls to tell me the truth. But I didn`t want her to get into trouble. Fuck that. She was worth a try. Or maybe Kim? Jared tells her everything I bet. No...Leah. I trusted her the most. I stopped my car and dialed her number. I wanted to see if she was really on patrol now.

"Sonia?" Leah answered after about ten rings.

"Hey Leah. Are you busy?" So they weren`t on patrol like Jacob said.

"No...why?"

"Do you have patrol?"

"No. Not for another...three hours." Fucking lying jerk.

"Is Jacob on patrol?" She took her time answering that one. I heard her let out a heavy breath down the phone.

"I don`t think so. We have the same shift tonight. With Jared." So he was telling the truth in a small way. He was really thinking his lies through.

"I need to talk to you. I think you know about what." I waited a couple of seconds for her reaction.

"I think I do too Sonia...I`m sorry."

"Don`t be Leah. Where are you? I can come and pick you up."

"I`m at home. You can come here."

"Okay. I`ll be at yours in about ten."

"See you."

"Bye."

I restarted the engine and drove down to the Clearwater`s. As I got to the little green house I killed the engine and sat motionless for about a minute or two. Did I really want to know what Leah knew? Could I take it? Was I as bad as Jacob not confronting him straight to his face but going behind his back? I knew why I was doing it this way. It was because the truth would hurt the most coming from him. In his voice. If it came from someone else first. From Leah for example, it would cushion the blow a little. I would know what to expect. I saw Leah open the front door and stand hesitantly in the doorway. Her face was a mixture of pity and resignation. I was putting her in a horrible situation I knew.

"I can go if you don`t want to talk Leah. It`s okay." I said as I got out of the car and walked up to her. She shook her head.

"The charade has gone on long enough I think. If you go to Jacob he won`t tell you the whole truth. Kim is here too. We thought it would be better if we both told you."

"We were debating it long enough." A heavily pregnant Kim appeared from behind Leah. She offered me a weak smile which I couldn`t return.

"Girl code you know." Leah offered lamely.

The three of us went inside to the kitchen and sat around the spotless oak table. I played with the crocheted table cloth as Leah gave me a glass of water.

"You look like hell." Kim said gracelessly, which made me laugh.

"I bet I do." I smiled at her. She had to be one of the nicest girls around. I mean genuinely nice. She always had been. "So spill. What`s going on in my dear Jacob`s secret life?"

"Sonia listen...he does love you. I can`t stress that enough. It is impossible not to love the imprint." Leah emphasized.

"I know that already."

"He...he just hasn`t gotten over the leech lover."

"I know that too."

"I can`t begin to even understand why he loves her. None of us can. Not now, still. Your his imprint. After imprinting it`s supposed to be absolute, not matter how much you have loved someone before. I think Bella has some sort of pull over him. I can`t describe it."

"Does he have some sort of romantic love for me?"

"He does...really. He has fallen for you big time. It`s just that..." Leah trailed off and cocked her head to one side. She rolled her eyes. "Here comes the cavalry. Sorry Sonia."

"What?"

"Jacob...and Sam. Jared too Kim."

"Shit!" I muttered, suddenly afraid. I didn`t want to look at Jacob right now let alone talk to him.

"How could they have known?" Kim said angrily. She stood up heavily and looked out the kitchen window.

"Superhearing remember. Get ready girls. They`re here."

"LEAH!" I heard Jacob yell from outside. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Yes Jakey?" Leah said in a quiet voice, rolling her eyes again. The back door in the kitchen was flung open and Jacob bounded in noisily followed by Sam and Jared. He didn`t even look at me. He squared off with Leah, the small kitchen suddenly seemed too small and too hot.

"Bitch!" He spat at her. "Fucking shit stirring he-she."

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" I screamed just as Leah opened her mouth to speak. I was oblivious to everybody there but Jacob.

Ever so slowly he turned his head to look at me.

"So this is the way you wanted to know? How...how about asking me first?" He seemed angry and hurt, but most of all, he was afraid. I swallowed and stood my ground.

"How about telling me first? You wanted me to know. YOU WANTED ME TO FIND OUT!" And then I realized. I figured it out. And it was sickening. "You wanted me to hate you." I whispered. Jacob`s face blanched. "You did this to make me hate you didn`t you?" I accused.

**Remember to review and tell me what you think. The bad as well as the good. Besos.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys! Thanks so so so so much for all your kind reviews from the last chapter. I promise I`m going somewhere interesting with this story. **

**Also, if you guys are fans of Jacob and OC fics I highly recommend Legacy by Wolfasaurus. Her OC Aurora is supercool and the story line is really great!**

**Anyways, happy reading and remember to tell me what you think at the end. **

"Sonia! I don`t ever want you to hate me. Please believe me!" Jacob made to step closer to me but I stepped back and into Sam.

"What a crock of shit! Why are you still seeing her? Why are you lying to me? You knew I would find out."

"Please...not here."

"Why not. They all know anyway. They know everything we do, everything we say."

"Sonia, just go with Jacob. It`s the best thing now." Sam told me. That pissed me off beyond belief.

"Fuck you Sam. Don`t tell me what to do! You`re not my fucking father."

I stormed out of the kitchen with Jacob hot on my heels. I could hear Kim starting to shout at Jared and Sam but I couldn`t make out what she was saying. As I got to my car Jacob took hold of my arm and spun me around to face him.

"We have to talk. I`m not letting you go until we do. Until you hear me out. And don`t think for one minute that I`m going to let you drive in your condition."

"My condition? Please spare me the concerned imprinter spiel. You couldn`t care less if I live or die. You told me before remember?" His fingers dug deeper and painfully into the flesh of my upper arms. His face was a horrible mask of fury as he glared down at me angrily.

"You really think that?" He whisper spat, giving me a small shake. "DO YOU?" He shook me again, but this time harder. "After everything...you still believe that? Christ...one week, just one fucking week."

"One week Jacob. And you had to go and fuck it all up didn`t you?" I taunted, pushing him, pissing him off even more. He shook fiercely, causing me to shake along with him. We locked eyes, whatever he saw in mine, fear? terror? must have caused him to get a grip.

"I did, didn`t I? I seem to fuck up a lot when you are involved." He said in quite a flat voice, he still hadn`t let go of my arms.

"No Jacob. I fucked up. That`s the truth. I should have never have told you how I felt in the first place. Knowing...knowing that you still loved her. I pushed this."

"You didn`t push me into anything. I want you. I need you." He said in a soft yet adamant voice. I started to cry now.

"No...no..no Jacob. Please just stop this. Stop it now. Don`t lie to me. Don`t be one of those guys because I know you are better than that."

"It`s not a lie."

"We are a lie. This relationship is a lie."

"We could never be a lie." He insisted. I rolled my watery eyes, causing more tears to roll down my cheeks. "We are the real deal." He added passionately.

"How can you say that? Jacob, maybe we were never meant to have this type of relationship."

"We are." He insisted.

"Then what about Bella? Why are you still seeing her? One week Jacob. You can`t stay away from her. I can`t be in a relationship like this."

"I`m sorry Sonia. But I do want to be with you."

"But you want her more. You love her more! You always will!" Jacob let go of me and backed away a couple of steps. He looked in so much pain.

"Oh God Sonia...you can`t imagine...I love you, I really do. But...I love her too...no matter how hard I try...I can`t stop loving her. I can`t. I thought being with you would help me get over her...but it didn`t."

"I can`t be with you anymore Jacob. Not like this, I don`t want it anymore."

"You`re breaking up with me?" He started to shake again. I spied Jared, Sam and Leah leave the house and stand a little distance away. "You can`t."

"I can, and I am. I don`t want to be with you anymore." I said with more strength this time. "You got what you wanted." I said bitterly which caused Jacob to growl. Oh crap I was so afraid.

"Then go! GO! GO TO HELL FOR ALL I CARE!" I flinched back at his words like they were slaps. Jared and Sam had moved in closer.

"Calm down Jacob. That`s an order." Sam said steadily. "You don`t want to hurt Sonia now do you."

"I just want to be with her."

"I don`t want to be with you Jacob." I stated again. "I can`t trust you and I can`t be with you knowing that you love her."

"I LOVE YOU!"

"Stop saying that! STOP! STOP IT! You are full of shit. How can you even think that we can work? We can`t!"

"Don`t do this. I don`t want to lose you."

"You can never lose me Jacob. You know it. If you love me like you say you do then you will understand. This is the best thing for us."

"It isn`t." He said coming towards me. I sighed and took his face his my hands.

"I love you Jacob, but I`m not backing down on this. You are not ready for me yet. I don`t deserve being lied to, to be strung along."

"Just give me a second chance Sonia. I`m begging you."

"No Jacob."

"We belong together."

"Do we really? Maybe we are just supposed to be really good friends or something?"

"Yeah right." He said dryly, his mouth set in an angry pout.

"Why are you doing this Jacob? Are you that selfish?"

He stared down at me long and hard. He eyes unmoving as they bored dark brown into my darker ones. His hands cupped my face as he leaned down and kissed me with desperation. I allowed myself to kiss him back for a couple of seconds before breaking off and turning my face away.

"Do you really want this?" He asked. His face was buried into my hair. I nodded. He sighed."Then I guess I have to let you go." He said and backed away from me again. I found that I couldn`t look at him. With the loss of contact I felt horribly cold. Despite the fact that he hurt me I hated hurting him.

"I going home." I said in a broken voice. I went and nobody stopped me thank God. I didn`t dare look back either. If I did then I would feel everything that I had been suppressing the whole time before. That had to come for later. For when I was alone and there was nobody to witness the mess I would become.

Oh Sonia Sonia. What the hell? The only man I could ever love I turned away. I told him I didn`t want him. What bullshit. Of course I wanted him. He knew it too. How was this ever going to work? When was I going to crack and go back to him? When was I going to lose all my self respect and sleep with him because I was too weak to stay away, to say no?

I couldn`t remember the drive home. I was actually mildly surprised to find myself parked in my driveway. My mom`s car was gone as was my nana`s. They were probably out shopping or something.

I let myself in and went to the kitchen. Picking up the receiver I dialed information and asked for a number.

"Name?"

"Swan."

"Location?"

"Forks Washington."

"We have one listing."

"Could you put me through?"

"Hold please."

It dialed for an eternity before it was finally answered.

"Hello? Swan residence." Charlie Swan answered.

"Hello Chief Swan. Is Bella in?" I asked, trying to sound normal.

"Who am I talking to?"

"Sonia Mara."

"Hold on." I heard him yell for Bella. I waited for about a minute before she finally came to the phone.

"What do you want?" Her annoying, obnoxious voice sounded down the phone.

"You`ve won Bella. I`ve called to congratulate you."

"What?" She really was dumb.

"You have him okay. You have Jacob. But I am telling you this now so you will know well in advance. When you break his heart, and I know you are going to break his heart, I am going to break you. You told me before that I didn`t deserve him. Well, you don`t deserve him, and I hope he realizes this sooner rather than later." I hung up with this and took a long drink of water.

Where were the tears? Where was my mental breakdown? That`s what was supposed to happen no? When you lose the love of your life you are supposed to scream and tear at your hair and just freak out. I felt horrible. No doubt about that. Then what was wrong?

I didn`t lose him. I could never lose Jacob. Like he could never lose me. We were bonded for life. Soulmates. Something that could never be broken. Never be lost. Something that survived death and persisted into eternity. We were forever. We didn`t need to rush things. We are just seventeen. There were still things I wanted to do. Things I wanted to experience. I didn`t want to be like Emily. Acting like a middle aged housewife before my time. Looking after a group of overgrown boys. She was happy doing that. And Kim. Kim was pregnant at nineteen. Jared would never leave her though. He would make sure she had everything she needed or wanted. Kim had confessed to me on messenger that she had been crushed when she had to give up a scholarship to NYU. Something that she had never admitted to Jared.

We had all the time in the world to become a couple. I wanted to be able to trust him first. To be able to feel confident that I was his number one. Was that selfish of me? Was I pushing Jacob away when he needed my support the most? Sex wasn`t support. I was broken out of my thoughts by a light tapping at the back door of the kitchen. It was him. It was Jacob.

"Come in." I said, refilling my glass at the sink for something to do.

"We need to talk. Properly this time." He said with no emotion. I nodded at turned to face him. He was wearing a fresh pair of cut offs meaning he must have shredded the last pair he was wearing.

"We do. You`re right." I sat down at the kitchen table and traced the rim of the glass with my index finger.

"You don`t really want this Sonia."

"You`re right. I don`t. But it needs to be done."

"Don`t give me that. What`s the point in hurting yourself?"

"I`m protecting myself! Didn`t you listen to anything I said before?"

"You don`t need to when it comes to me! Please Sonia..." He knelt down in front of me and took my hands, looking up at me imploringly.

"I do need to. You`ve shown me that I need to."

"You don`t!"

"What about Bella? She is not going to let you go. You won`t let her go either. How is that fair to me? Or her leech boyfriend for that matter?"

"He isn`t even alive!" He stood up and shook his head, clearly pissed off.

"That doesn`t matter! He is what he is and she loves him! More than she loves you. More than she loves anyone!"

"She doesn`t really!"

"Who are you to judge that Jacob? What is it about her that you can`t stay away from her?"

"I...I love her. I want to see her happy is all."

"Do you want to kiss her? Do you want to sleep with her?" He looked down at me horrified and guiltily.

"What the fuck Sonia!" He paced the kitchen.

"Do you?"

"Do I? You asked for it. Yes I do. I want to kiss her. I want to fuck her. I always have." I felt the tears coming. "And now you`re crying again. Now I`m the bad guy again."

"Go away Jacob." I sobbed out. "Leave me alone."

"NO!" He bellowed. "You are my imprint! I`m not leaving you alone. I want to stay with you."

"NO YOU DON`T!" I screamed at him. "I can`t be your imprint! Their is something wrong with this...with us. We just keep going around in circles...we are getting nowhere!"

"I told you the truth! What more do you want?"

"You know what I want from you. You know how I feel. I just want your love."

"You have it!"

"Not all of it. I`m not your number one. She is." I said sadly.

"She could never replace you."

"I could never replace her you mean."

We stared each other down, losing ourselves in the others eyes. Jacob was the one to break off first this time.

"It`s like you can read me like a book. You saw it all along didn`t you?" He asked quietly.

"Yes." I whispered back.

"If you knew then why...why tell me that you love me? Why start this?"

"Because I couldn`t lie anymore." The tears rolled fresh down my cheeks. "Because I wanted you too much. And I knew...I knew you wouldn`t make the first move...because you were content with the way things were."

"I wasn`t though! I wanted you too."

"You wanted me?"

"Yes! How could you think otherwise?"

"You wanted my body. You are confusing lust with love Jacob."

"Don`t tell me what I feel! Yeah I want your body...but I want your love more."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Yes why? If you know you can`t love me fully yet...then why do you still want my love? Why not just say you want a fuck buddy relationship? Why not just call a spade a spade and not lie."

"And you would have been content with that? Just fucking? Give me a break Sonia. I know you."

"I wouldn`t. You`re right."

"I can`t go back to being just friends. You can`t either."

"Then what do you suggest? We continue on, while you see Bella? Fuck me and think about her?"

"I never think of her while we make love. NEVER!"

"Jacob please...we have to try."

"We need to try to make us work. I know we can."

"Maybe...in the future. If that`s what we both still want."

"Both? I know I will."

"Are you really sure about that? What if Bella leaves Edward and chooses you? You would choose me over her?" I said kindly. Please say you would. Let me see it in your eyes.

"I...I..if she did...then I.." He looked odd. Like that thought had never crossed his mind. I took a deep breath and put my hand over his heart.

"I`ll always love you Jacob. The love I feel now...it won`t change. You can never lose that. But don`t think for one minute that I will be content with anything less than your full love. If she chooses you, you will go to her. You will ask her to be your girlfriend...and then one day maybe your wife. She would have your children and you will be happy. But...this won`t ever happen...unless her leech boyfriend leaves her again and never comes back. That`s what you don`t understand about her Jacob...you are her back up. You will never be first in her heart, but you will always be first in mine." I placed his hand over my heart now. "This will always belong to you."

"Sonia..I.."

"I understand Jacob. Don`t think that breaking up with you was easy. But it had to be done. Just one word of warning Jacob. Don`t think that I will be waiting here twiddling my thumbs until Bella breaks your heart, until she eventually turns into a vampire."

"You are so confusing. I have already chosen to be with you!"

"You haven`t! There was no choice between me and Bella because you never had her!"

"Fuck sake Sonia!"

"This is what I want. I want you to be happy. If you are happier with her then be with her. If you fall in love with me one day...then perfect for me. But...you will have to prove it. I am not waiting around here, pining after you."

"So what? You are going to leave or something?"

"No, I`m not leaving. I`m going to be here for you. I`ll always be here for you if you want me to be. I want to be your friend."

"We can`t work as friends."

"We will have to." I moved away from him and crossed my arms. I knew deep down that he was right though.

"You would step aside? You would tell me to go be with Bella?" He sounded angry.

"If she is what you want...then yes."

"I don`t deserve you Sonia." He said sadly. "I don`t think I ever will."

"You told me before that the wolf would be whatever the imprint needs them to be."

"I did."

"I want you to be my friend."

"For now."

"For until I say any more or less."

"What about what I want?"

"I already gave you what you wanted and you threw it back in my face." I spat at him angrily.

"So...so what now? I need you to be in my life. I don`t want you to hate me Sonia. I mean it."

"I know you don`t Jacob. We need to be in each others lives. Friends. That`s it. I...I need you to go now. I want to be alone."

"I should stay.."

"You should go! Please Jacob. Just go."

"I`m sorry Sonia." Jacob crossed the kitchen in one long stride and looked back at me from the kitchen door. "I never meant to hurt you. Just remember that. I wish I could be the man you want me to be." And with that he left.

**Remember to review and criticize. I need to know what I`m doing good and bad. Besos.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26. Hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews from the last chapter. I`m glad you like the story. I promise that the story is going somewhere. **

**Remember! Any questions you have about the story feel free to PM me or comment and I`ll answer. **

**Have fun reading and remember to review at the end. **

"So what did he say then?"

"He said that if I wanted to break up and just be friends then he would do it."

Bernie looked skeptical. Couldn`t blame her. We have known each other for too long.

"Sonia, I know you. I know that deep down you want the perfect romance. Maybe you just expected too much too soon from Jacob." She said gently.

"You`re right."

"I mean...I know why you are attracted to him. He is everything you want in a guy. He is stable, he`s nice...well he used to be anyway. He doesn`t judge. All that said, if he can`t see what a great person you are then it`s his loss. My advice is to just to go on with your life, have fun, date other guys."

"Easier said than done Bernz. I have never felt like this before. I could date...but my heart wouldn`t be in it."

"Sonia! Come on! Jacob is such a douche for what he did. You are my best friend Sonia...we have been through so much together. Remember I`ll always be here for you, like you have always been there for me when I needed you."

I looked at Bernie, beautiful Bernadette sitting beside me on my bed, through teary eyes. I pulled her into a tight hug which she returned without hesitation. I decided then that I was going to be the best friend in the world to her. Since Jacob came along I knew I had been neglecting her a little.

"Are you doing something with Ollie tonight?"

"He has to go to some boring family dinner over on the Hoh rez, I skipped out." She gave a mischievous smile.

"How about me and you go bowling?" I suggested excitedly.

"Bowling? Oh man Sonia. We haven`t gone bowling in years." She said, lying back on my bed. I could tell she was into it, despite her bored tone.

"I know! It will be fun. We have have milkshakes and curly fries and chocolate covered peanuts."

"Sure. Why not?" She said laughing. "I will bowl with you."

"Let`s bowl let`s bowl let`s rock and roll." I started to sing, bouncing on my ass on the bed.

"Hey come on let`s get this show on the road." Bernie sang back, laughing a little.

"Let`s bowl let`s bowl let`s rock and roll."

"We`re sitting on a bomb that`s about to explodeeeeeeeeeeeeee" We sang together before rolling around on the bed in hysterical laughter which quickly turned to screams as a giant, shirtless Paul flung open the door of my bedroom. Poor Bernie toppled off the bed and ducked for cover.

"Oh man, the others are going have some good laughs when they see what you two were doing." Paul laughed as he lifted Bernie off the ground like she weighed the same as a bag of air and placed her back on the bed next to me.

"Jesus Christ Paul! Ever hear of knocking?" Bernie snapped, clearly annoyed at having being caught doing something embarrassing.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Paul dangerously. I so didn`t want to see any of the pack for the rest of today. I wanted some time with my best girlfriend before I had to face them all in school tomorrow.

"I`ve come to see how you are. You are my friend after all." He sat down in my desk chair, which groaned threateningly under his weight.

"Friend? Really?"

"Yeah!"

"So where were you when you knew Jacob was emotionally cheating on me?"

"Oh man!" Paul moaned. "What the hell is emotional cheating?"

"Why are you here?"

"To see how you`re doing. Jacob is upset, he wants to know if you are okay." Paul said earnestly. Me and Bernie looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

"Oh please. How`s Bella?" Bernie asked sweetly. Paul looked grim.

"He`s an idiot, I know, but believe me, he never set out to hurt you."

"Me and Bernie are going out now Paul. I don`t think my mom or nana will be happy to find you in our house alone." I got off the bed and grabbed my bag, not wanting to hear what he was saying.

"Going bowling?"

"Yeah."

"How about me and Rachel join you?"

"It`s just me and Sonia tonight Paul." Bernie said, putting on her coat and grabbing her bag.

"Be careful." Paul said, only to me. I knew what he meant. The vampires.

"I will. We will." I was suddenly afraid. I didn`t want anything happening to Bernie.

"What the hell can happen to us in Port Angeles?" Bernie scoffed. "Come on Sonia, I want a milkshake." She went and stood at the doorway, waiting for me to follow. Paul stood up and followed us out.

"We are all here for you Sonia. You are part of this pack as well you know." Paul said as he pulled be back and let Bernie walk ahead and to my car. "If I were you, I would have done the same."

"See you later Paul. See you at school maybe."

"See you at school tomorrow."

Bernie and I had a great time bowling, but I couldn`t shake the feeling that as we were driving to and from Port Angeles, that somebody was following us, not in a car, but hidden, in the trees, in the forest. It unsettled me greatly. I knew Jacob feared for my safety when I was outside La Push, so much so that he would follow me, or get someone else to follow me, without my knowledge. It was an invasion of my privacy. Being part of this, part of the pack as Paul said, nothing can be private anymore. My pain can`t be private. What me and Jacob did together, when we had sex, the whole pack would obviously have had a replay of that.

I dropped Bernie at home and told her I would see her at school tomorrow. I didn`t want her to go but it wasn`t fair of me to dump all my shit on her. I didn`t want to get her down even though I knew she would listen. I didn`t want to be alone, I didn`t want to think about all the shit that happened but I knew it would happen eventually.

"Hey mom, nana." I called as I let myself inside the house.

"Hey babygirl. Everything straightened out between you and Jacob?" My mom called from the bathroom, smoothing her face with cleansing cream.

"Eh yeah...I broke up with him." I said lamely. My nana had come out of her bedroom by now, she looked worried.

"What? Why?" My mom asked.

"He...he was still...seeing...her...that bitch..." I stuttered out, ah..the tears are back.

"Oh for Gods sake!" My mom said, taking me in her arms. "I can`t believe him...seriously...what is the matter with that boy?" She rubbed my back soothingly, giving me little kisses on my cheek.

"He doesn`t love me...well he does...but her loves her more." I sobbed out some more. My mom led me into her bedroom and sat me down on her bed.

"He`s your soulmate. He loves you Sonia. Maybe he thinks he loves Bella but in the end, he will realize that you are the one for him." My nana said, sitting down next to me.

"You sound so sure nana. What am I supposed to do?" I wailed into my moms chest.

"Live your life Sonia. I hope that if I taught you anything it is to be strong." My mom told me, making me look up at her.

"You did. I don`t know if I`m strong enough though."

"You are. I don`t want you to sit around here, miserable. It won`t do you any good. It will just make Jacob the focus of everything in your life. Get out there. Do things. Like you did before."

"You`re right mom." I was starting to get a headache now.

"I know I am. I always am. I`ll pay for some extra dance classes if you want." She coaxed, making me smile a little. "Is my little girl smiling? Is my little Ballerina Girl smiling?" I snorted, remembering the cheesy Lionel Richie song she used to sing to me.

"I love you mom. And you too nana." I drew them into a hug.

"We love you too Sonia. Our little sweetheart. Now, get ready for bed and I`ll make you a hot chocolate." My mom said.

"Can I sleep in with you tonight?" I asked. It was childish I knew but I needed it.

"Of course you can."

I lay beside my mom, unable to sleep. Wondering what Jacob was doing now. Was he with Bella? Was he telling her all the things he told me? A horrible feeling of not being able to breathe hit me when I remembered when he told me how much he loved me, how he lied to my face by telling me how he loved me more than her, how he never felt the way he felt about me for anyone.

"Sonia? What`s the matter?" My mom asked concerned, turning towards me.

"Am I unlovable?"

"What? Of course not!"

"Then why doesn`t he love me?" I cried.

"Oh Sonia..." My mom sighed. "Love is a thing that you can`t push. It can`t be forced. He does love you, but that doesn`t excuse the way he treated you. To lie about how you feel...it`s the worst thing anybody can do."

"I love him so much mom...and it will never go...that`s the scary thing."

"I know...I know. Just, take my advice. Live. Be strong. Don`t sit around waiting for him. Don`t be a fool because, if what you told me is true, then he isn`t in love with you. He might never fall in love with you Sonia."

"Oh God." I choked out. My mom took me in her arms.

"I`m not saying this to be a bitch. It needs to be said. And I`m sorry I pushed you into asking him out. That was a mistake. A big one."

"I know mom."

"You are just too young. This happened too soon. I`m sorry baby."

That night, when I eventually fell asleep, I dreamed of the cave. I was drawn to it again, it`s entrance semi hidden by an overgrowth of weeds and a tangle of roots. Despite the lush greenness of everything around it, the flora surrounding the cave was dead, twisted, not natural. It called to me, like it had a life of its own, it seemed like it was actually breathing, and whatever was inside was calling my name, softly, almost a whisper that was too low to hear, but I heard it.

The old fear overtook me as I stood at the entrance, extending my hand out to brush away the overgrowth. It was smaller than I remembered, but I couldn`t remember, I didn`t want to remember. A soft whining made me turn around. The raccoon. It stood still watching me, it`s cute little black mask making it seem like a little thief. It hissed as I pushed away more of the undergrowth. Wait, I was not supposed to go in here! I can`t go in there again! I mustn`t! The smell of decay...the unmistakable odor of death, of corruption was growing stronger. It was making me nauseous but I couldn`t back away, my hand was frozen in the same position as, whatever lived in that cave, was coming closer.

Then the laughter, it began again, echoing against the walls in the cave, sounding so close yet far away. The inhuman laughter, the sound of it made my blood freeze. I could hear the raccoon making more hissing and growling noises, telling me to run, to get the hell out of there. That is was dangerous. Why couldn`t I move my stupid body? Whatever lived in there was getting closer. I could hear it. Oh God...Oh please no...not again...

"You can`t cheat fate Sonia...no matter how hard you fight it...you can`t cheat it, you won`t be able to cheat me again...Jacob won`t save you...he won`t want to...neither will he...the one that was too weak to save his soul mate..." The horrible voice echoed from the cave, so close, he`s close now. "I`m back Sonia...and this time...nobody will stop me..." The raccoons growling and hissing was becoming more incessant, and I was growing more and more terrified. Creeping out of the dead weeds, a boney white, mottled hand appeared, inching it`s way towards mine. Maggots were eating away the flesh in some places and a whole host of disgusting insects were crawling on it. Revulsion and fear took over now, as I finally snapped my hand back and stumbled backwards.

"This is only the beginning imprint, I will be set free soon enough. And then, then the whole tribe will deal with my wrath. The Quileute will pay for turning me away, for sending me into this limbo. You will all burn, you will all bleed, you will be wiped out. I will feast on you first...on that beautiful body of yours...until all that`s left is bones."

I woke up in a cold sweat. The laughter of whatever that was still running through my head. I couldn`t move...the terror was still ripe. Finally, the laughter died away and I could hear my moms soft snore and feel the warmth of her body beside mine. Satisfied that she was alive, and safe, I creeped out of the bed and into my nana`s room. She was breathing as well.

I went into the kitchen and sat at the table. How could I have forgotten that? Oh God! The memories came flooding back, like a movie reel, going too fast to make sense, to separate. I had been at that cave before. Years ago, when I went missing for a couple of hours in the woods and mom and nana had called the police looking for me.

My mom was sick with worry. I remember that. When they found me and I couldn`t remember where I had been and I was all dirty and cut up. I was taken to the hospital to be checked out, and the nice doctor and police women asked me if a bad man had touched me anywhere, had made me do anything. Holy Jesus...I had said no. I didn`t remember any bad man, I didn`t want to remember what had happened in that cave. So eventually my mom and nana stopped asking me when they were satisfied that I hadn`t been sexually molested. I had gotten lost, I was scared that I couldn`t find my mommy, that`s why I was hysterical. It was forgotten about, buried. It was something that I didn`t want to dig up again. Was it even real? Maybe it was just a horrible nightmare?

"Sonia?" Jacob`s concerned voice startled me, making me jump in my seat.

"Oh God Jacob...what are you doing here?" I said, looking up at him. He looked concerned, and tired. Like he hadn`t slept in days.

"I had a feeling...that you were in trouble or something." He said.

"I`m okay Jacob. Can you close the door? It`s freezing out." He came in and shut the door behind him.

"There`s something up. You can tell me you know. We are supposed to be friends now no?"

"I just had a nightmare is all." I said, looking at the clock on the wall. It was four thirty.

"A nightmare? Are you sure?" He sat down next to me.

"Yeah, I`m sure."

"About what? It must have been real bad if I felt it too."

"How did you feel?"

"Like I was terrified. I was terrified! The most I felt in my life."

"How did you know it was from me?"

"I knew. You could call it an imprint sense or something. What did you dream about?"

"When I was about six, I got lost in the woods for a couple of hours. I just dreamed about it again, I hadn`t in years."

"I never knew you got lost in the woods."

"I had forgotten. Honestly, I just blocked it out."

"What happened when you were in the woods?"

I looked at Jacob, debating on whether or not I should tell him about the thing in the cave.

"Do you think evil things live in the woods?" I asked him instead.

"You mean leeches?"

"No. I mean other things. Different things."

"I don`t think so...why do you ask?"

"Do you think that evil spirits are still around us?"

"Evil spirits?" Jacob scoffed. "Come on Sonia...like a baykok or something?"

"Forget it."

"I`m sorry Sonia. You are just a bit freaked out over the dream I think."

"Probably." I said standing up. I was beginning to get uncomfortable with him here. But I didn`t want him to leave, I was still a bit afraid.

"You should go back to bed." Jacob said, standing up and heading for the door. "I`ll stay outside until you wake up."

"You don`t have to."

"I want to. Even if it was just a dream that scared you, I want you to feel safe."

"A dream can`t hurt me. You don`t have to stay Jacob."

"If you don`t want me to stay around then I won`t. It`s what you want."

"You go home, or patrol, or Bella`s. Do what you want."

"If I want to stay here?"

"I don`t want you to." I said, turning off the kitchen lights and heading back to my moms room to sleep. I heard the back door gently close as Jacob left. I didn`t know if he stayed outside...it felt like he did though. I felt a little safer, but the things voice still echoed in my head..."He won`t protect you...he won`t want to..." It felt ominous. Was it telling the truth? Oh God...it said it was going to wipe out the tribe...all of us. Every man, woman and child. Every Quileute. My mom...my nana. Everyone. I hoped to God that it was just a dream. I prayed it was.

**Remember to review and criticize. I need to hear the good and bad. Besos.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27! Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks so so so much for the reviews from the last chapter. You guys are great. Anyway, the next installment. Happy reading and remember to tell me the good and the bad. **

School is fucking dragging in that it`s not even funny. Jacob tried to make contact with me all day but I managed to avoid him. I knew I said that we would remain friends, but I knew that was a lie. I couldn`t be friends with Jacob. It was all or nothing when it came to us. Word spread fast at school that we had broken up, I heard a couple of girls sniggering that Jacob dumped me after he had gotten what he had wanted. I resisted the urge to start a fight and held my head up high. I knew the truth, that was all that mattered. Ciara Harris was practically latched onto Jacob all day, but I was happy to see that he was brushing her off. There were only two girls in his life, me and Bella.

I concentrated on writing down the notes Mrs. Connor had written on the board for English. We were studying Romeo and Juliet. What a fucking cliche. Everybody knew this story so well, so what was the point in studying it? I loved the ballet of this though. If we were tested on that then I would get an easy A for sure.

I chanced a glance at Jacob. He seemed like he was engrossed in writing down notes, but as my gaze settled on him a bit too long he looked up and over at me. Ah shit, now he`s going to try and talk to me when class, and school, is over. Truth was, I missed him, despite how he lied to me. It had only been a day and I was wishing that I could kiss him. Urggh! Get over it Sonia! He doesn`t want you. I dropped my eyes back to my notebook and began again to take notes. Fucking Jacob and his stupid fucking face!

"Essay due on Friday kids. If not typed then in your best handwriting." Mrs. Connor said over the noise of students standing up and stuffing books into their bags. I stood up as the bell rang and started to gather my things, feeling the pull I knew Jacob was coming up to me. I studiously ignored him as I put my books into my bag and put it on my shoulder.

"You can`t keep ignoring me." He whispered, trying to take my hand.

"I`m not ignoring you." I`m such a bad liar when it came to him.

"Give me a break. I though we are supposed to be friends."

"I need to go." I said, fleeing the class. Crap, I couldn`t be around him, his presence made me weak.

"Wait! Sonia..." Jacob called after me. He was following me. He wouldn`t let me leave without talking to him I knew. "Just five minutes. That`s all I`m asking. Please." He took my hand and dragged me to a halt in the hall. The skin on skin contact felt so good, so right.

"No Jacob."

"Yes Sonia! You can`t ignore me forever!"

"You think so?" I definitely couldn`t ignore how good it felt when he held my hand.

"I know so!"

"This better be important!" I said as I huffed out an annoyed breath. I led him to an empty classroom. Once inside he still didn`t let go of my hand.

"Promise to listen to me."

"I`ll promise to listen to you if you let go of me first." He gave my hand a squeeze before releasing it.

"I`m sorry Sonia. I really am. But I can`t go on like this. I can`t do this. I`m sorry about lying to you about Bella but please, don`t cut me out of your life."

"I`m not cutting you out of my life."

"You`re ignoring me!"

"What do you expect me to do Jacob?"

"To talk to me! Ask me about things, about us, about my feelings, instead of going and bitching to everyone else. Christ Sonia...I would have told you, I swear I would have. But you had to go behind my back. Leah and Kim were just blowing things out of proportion."

"Bullshit! You admitted yourself that you were still in love with Bella."

"I did. But I`m in love with you too."

"Stop saying that!"

"It`s the truth! I`m being honest with you. I hate seeing you like this and I hate knowing that I`m the reason that you`re upset." He placed his hands on my shoulders but I shrugged him off.

"You shouldn`t have told me that you loved me Jacob, you should have been the one to say we should wait. That`s what I can`t get over."

"I didn`t want to wait, I want you."

"Maybe you do. It`s the imprint telling you that you do."

"It`s my heart not the imprint." Jacob said with the utmost sincerity.

"Please...don`t do this Jacob." I begged. I wanted to believe him so bad. To forget about Bella and all this shit.

"Sonia, I told you yesterday that I would be friends with you if that is what you wanted. I`m going to stick by that because...because I respect you. But I need to tell you how I feel first, how I really feel, and then you can decide if you want to stick by that decision."

"Why did you see Bella yesterday? Why did you lie to me?"

"I saw her because I needed to see her, to talk to her."

"Why did you lie to me though?"

"Because I knew you wouldn`t want me to see her. I know you hate her. I didn`t cheat on you though!"

"You did, you were."

"I didn`t!"

"Emotional cheating Jacob. You are doing it...so is she...to her leech. You get something from her that you can`t get from me, I don`t know what but you do. You lied to me. If it wasn`t cheating then you would have told me you were seeing her, there would be nothing to hide."

"You`re right...and I`m sorry." He hung his head and stared at the floor.

"I hate her Jacob. And I can`t understand why you can`t see her for who she really is! If this was a normal relationship...if none of this imprinting crap had happened, don`t think for one second that I would be standing here talking to you." He snapped his head up at my now spiteful words, his normally dark brown eyes now blazing coal black.

"You mean that?" His tone was low and angry. Good.

"Oh yes. Nobody threats me like a doormat Jacob. The only reason you are getting the pleasure of my company now is because I can`t cut you out of my life. It`s impossible. But believe me, despite the fact that I love you, I can`t stand the look of you, if there was some way to break this thing, I would do it."

"Well it can`t be broken, never Sonia." He stepped in closer to me and bent his head to have a better look at my face. "We are meant to be and I will have you again, I`ll have you love me again." He placed his hands on my shoulders and placed his mouth to my ear. "I`ll have you in my bed again...I promise you that. I will also promise you that when you are there...you`ll wish you never broke up with me, because you know that nobody, no man, could make you feel how I make you feel. I promise you as well, that I will prove to you how much I love you, but on my own terms. If I want to see my friends, meaning Bella, I will see her."

"Even if it means that you are hurting me?"

"That`s something you have to get over. You told me that Bella will never choose me, well I don`t care if she chooses me or not, I want her to choose humanity. That`s what I`m fighting for when it comes to her. I`m not going to lie to you, she has a special place in my heart, the way Leah still does in Sam`s, but you own me Sonia. You have my soul, you have me."

"Fuck you! You are still in love with her!" Jacob let out a frustrated growl and backed away from me.

"I know!" He almost roared. "Stop punishing me for that! Christ Sonia! I can`t help it!"

"That`s why we can`t be together now."

"I`ll prove to you. I vow I will. That I`m the only man for you, that I love you with everything that I am."

"Do what you want Jacob."

"I will, because I want to. And another thing. If any guys come sniffing around you don`t think for one minute that I will be happy with that. If I so much as smell another man on you I will tear his throat out."

"Psycho much Jacob?" Christ he was scary.

"That`s what you don`t understand Sonia. We mated. You`re mine now, as I`m yours. When I`m with Bella and I smell the leech on her, it bothers me. But when I smelled him on you, when I saw him near you, I lost it, I would have killed him with a song in my heart. Are you starting to understand now? I`m battling for Bella`s humanity. But for you, it will be an all out war. I think my five minutes are up now, don`t you?"

And with that he left the classroom, leaving me breathing heavily. Fuck that was intense. And I knew he meant every word of what he had said. He was never going to give up on me. Never. And I didn`t know how I felt about that. One thing was for sure, Jacob was just as strong willed as I was. He was no fucking pushover, that was for sure. He wouldn`t give up on something he deemed as important enough to fight for. Bella`s humanity for example. Me as another. He would never let me go. He was sure of us being together. Well I wasn`t so sure. This is all just one big, stupid, fucking, mess. And I was in the middle of it all. Tangled up in a fantasy world of shapeshifting teen wolves and forever young, sparkling vampires. And the other things...no! Don`t think about the other things! Don`t think about it! It was just a dream...

"Sonia? You okay?" Ollie`s voice snapped me out of it. He was standing in the doorway holding hands with Bernie.

"Yeah, why wouldn`t I be?" I forced a happy smile on my face. Ollie raised his eyebrows and Bernie shook her head.

"What did Black want? To fuck with you some more?" He asked.

"He just wanted to talk about things."

"Don`t go back to him Sonia. He`s not worth it." Bernie said, a sad smile on her mouth.

"I`m not. Don`t worry."

"Urghh. I knew he brainwashed you. Like the others."

"He hasn`t brainwashed me."

"Okay...not brainwashed...but he has sucked you into his little gang."

"They are not a gang!"

"Then what are they Sonia? I thought they were a bunch of closet homosexuals for a while." Ollie said seriously. I laughed. Oh man that was classic.

"Why did you think that?" Bernie asked, interested.

"Think about it. They only hang out with each other. Shunning all female contact. I mean Paul Lahote! He was getting laid left right and centre before he disappeared and suddenly reappeared all he-man. Then he was basically Sam Uley`s bitch, along with Jared Cameron. They were..are..running around topless in the woods, wearing nothing but cutoffs. I was expecting to see assless chaps next." Me and Bernie were snorting with laughter by this stage. "What! It`s true! Then they started coupling up with the most unlikely girls ever. No offense Sonia."

"None taken."

"Come on. I don`t want to stay in school longer than I have to." Bernie said, dragging Ollie out of the class. I followed my two best friends, now lovers, down the hall and out of school. I scanned the parking lot and found that Jacob`s bike was gone.

"I`ll catch up with you guys later." I said as Ollie started to nibble on Bernie`s ear. "Don`t forget to use protection." I giggled at them.

"Hmmm, I sure won`t." Ollie said as he looked down at Bernie adoringly. Ahhhh...cute.

"See you later." Bernie called after me.

"See you babe." I called back. I walked up to my car and Embry materialized out of nowhere beside me. I jumped a little.

"Don`t sneak up on me like that Call!"

"Sorry. So...Bernie and Ollie seem pretty tight now." He said, casting the two, who were by now making out, a look.

"Yeah, they are. So...what`s up?"

"I have to tell you, because Jacob didn`t, Sam wants everybody over at Emily`s now for a meeting."

"Okay." I said, inwardly rolling my eyes. "You need a ride?" I liked Embry, he was so nice, and super cute. I never told anyone about the little crush I had on him in the eight grade.

"Cool, thanks." I got in the drivers seat and lent over to open the passenger door for him.

"So what`s the meeting about? Anything interesting?" I asked as I pulled out of the school`s parking lot and took the road to Emily`s.

"You could say that. We have found out what the red headed vamp wants."

"Really? What?" I was all ears now. Red had been a permanent fixture in Olympia now for a good couple of months.

"Bella." Embry said quietly, watching me from the corner of his eyes. I let out a disgusted noise.

"Of course. Who else?" I tutted and shook my head. "Is she going to be there?"

"Eh...I think so. Jake has gone to collect her." Embry said with no emotion in his voice. He was being careful.

"I`m sorry Embry, but isn`t this the Cullen`s problem? The pack shouldn`t be involved."

"When there is a human life at stake then it is the packs problem."

"But she wants to be one of them!"

"I know...I know Sonia. Just...try and understand. Bella is a human. We exist to protect them. You don`t really want her to die now do you?"

"You right...I don`t. I wouldn`t wish that on anyone. I just don`t want any of you to get hurt."

"I know you don`t Sonia. But we are not made of glass, we are built to kill them."

"Okay okay...I get it, you are all supermen `kay." I laughed a little, so did Embry.

"We are tough."

"So...Bella is going to be there...Ahhhh Bella Bella." I sighed which made Embry laugh some more.

"She`s not that bad. I mean, I`m pretty angry with her for what she did to Jake, but I dunno, she has always been nice to us. She`s just a bit dumb."

"I have better words to describe her." Bitch. Whore. Retard being some.

"I could guess. So...you and Jake...how`s that going?"

"Fine."

"Come on! He`s pretty determined on getting you back."

"Okay."

"Okay! Man Sonia..."

"What?" I laughed.

"You two...you are worse than each other. You should hear Jacob...it`s so fucking annoying sometimes. "Sonia hates me...she`ll never love me again..." "I`ll get her back...I love her so much.." "Wah wah wah." It`s worse than the Bella shit from way back."

"Jacob knows what he is doing." I said with a note of finality in my voice. We were approaching Emily`s house and I was feeling angry at the fact that Jacob was bringing Bella. Well, if he was looking for a fight, or a fit of jealously, then he wouldn`t get it. I would ignore them. Or maybe I would kick her ass. I really didn`t know at this point and I would like to say I wouldn`t care.

The whole back was there minus Jacob...and her. The kitchen was stuffy from all the guys here, and noisy. Sam grimaced at me when he saw me, Emily was being overly nice. I roped into making sandwiches for "The boys" and chatted with Kim a lot, ignoring Emily. I hadn`t forgotten that Emily and Sam thought that I wasn`t doing my bit.

"So...how long left?" I asked Kim, who was sitting on Jared`s lap.

"Not long, one month, more or less."

"And you still don`t want to know the sex?" I asked, carefully placing the ham perfectly on top of the cheese, for Emily`s benefit.

"No, we want it to be a surprise." Jared answered, running his hand over Kim`s bump.

"Names? I`m partial to Sonia you know." I giggled.

"We were thinking of either Sophia or Olivia for a girl."

"Ahhh...so pretty." I gushed, still ignoring Emily as I cut the sandwich into perfect rectangles.

"And if it`s a boy, Ryan or John."

"They are good names." I said, as I heard the unmistakable rumble of Jacob`s motorbike.

"We are happy with them." Kim said kindly, seeing the change in my mood.

"What about you Sonia. Have any baby names?" Jared asked, ignoring Jacob and Bella as they came into the kitchen. I looked at Jacob, his face unreadable. Bella was hovering behind him, looking out of place as usual.

"I dunno, I like Michael for a boy, or Ben. For a girl, maybe Hannah or Sarah." Shit...Jacob`s moms name was Sarah. I felt my cheeks flame and the kitchen grow silent for a couple of seconds.

"They`re great names." Kim said, trying to save me. Don`t look at Jacob. Don`t look at him.

"Yeah...I have dibs, nobody can touch my names." That earned me some awkward laughs. Somebody change the fucking subject already!

"So. How`s school? Ciara Harris still a slut?" Kim came to my rescue. I love you Kim!

"Still. She`s be calling her kids Gonorrhea and Clyamidia." I could hear Paul and Quil snigger at that. Emily looked a bit po faced.

"That`s gross." Bella`s quiet voice said. I gripped the butter knife in my hand for a couple of seconds. Ignore her Sonia. Don`t kill her.

"Where`s Leah?" I asked the room at large.

"She`s trying to register at community college. She should be here soon." Seth answered.

"Good for her!" I declared happily. Leah needs something besides the pack in her life.

"Hey Embry!" Bella said brightly as Embry came in after a quick phase.

"Hey Bella." He said dully. I was glad to know which side he was on. "Sonia...toss me a sandwich?"

"Get your own damn sandwich! They are like right in front of you!" I handed him a sandwich anyway. Embry was nice. He winked at me as he took it.

"Did you get any of that maths today?" I asked Embry as I sat down beside him, finally finished with the sandwiches. I could feel Jacob looking at me.

"God no...I zoned out I was so tired. Thank God Mr. Sharp knows better than to ask me anything in class."

"Lucky you. He seems to always call on me." I said through a mouthful of cookie.

"I fucking hate maths." Embry said.

"Language Embry!" Sam growled. "There are ladies present."

"Sonia is a lady and she has a mouth like a fish wife."

"Fuck you! Do not!" I said, playfully punching him on the arm. Ouch! I had to remember that they were super human hard.

"Do too!" Embry stuck his tongue out at me.

"Whatev!" I said with a smile. "Did you catch the new episode of Game of Thrones?" Embry was a fan like me.

"Couldn`t. Patrol."

"I`ll record it for you next time if you want."

"Cool...thanks Sonia." Embry gave me a perfect Colgate smile.

"Wow...those two are really flirting aren`t they." I heard Bella say to Emily. I looked at Embry, who looked as horrified as me. Flirting? What planet was this girl living on?

"Are you serious?" I asked her.

"Yeah Bella...Sonia is my friend." Embry said annoyed.

"Bella doesn`t know how to be friends with boys." I said smirking. "She probably thinks that being friendly means being in love." I heard Kim stifle a giggle.

"Give it a rest!" Sam commanded. I was glad he stepped in when he did. "This is not the time nor the place for all this childish crap." What happened to not swearing Sam?

"Sorry Sam. I didn`t start it though!"

"Finish it then! You are not a child Sonia." He snapped. Is this what it felt like when your dad is angry at you? I pushed that thought out of my head and pouted a little.

"Sam!" Jacob said dangerously. The two men stared each other down before Sam broke it and wrapped an arm around a nervous Emily.

"Shit stirrer." I whispered at Bella.

"Sonia!" Both Sam and Jacob growled.

"What?" I asked innocently. "I can`t speak the truth?"

"Leave it Sonia." Embry whispered. "Leave it for later."

"I always get blamed for everything." I whispered. It wasn`t fair. Nobody ever dared call precious Bella out over the crap she causes.

"You don`t...believe me." Embry said kindly.

I fucking hated her! Stupid fucking Bella and her stupid fucking lost little girl look. Sitting there beside my imprinter, like it was her right or something. Eurghhh I wanted to reach across the table and hit her with a good right hook. Stupid bitch, looking up at my Jacob like that. And Jacob, sitting there with her. So this was how he was going to prove to me how much he loves me? Jerk! Swine!

I finally snapped when Bella made Jacob laugh loudly at something she had said. I jumped up from my chair so quickly that it toppled over. I grabbed my coat and made for the door, but before I got it open I heard Bella say.

"What`s her problem?" In that stupid, sickly sweet yet boring tone that was so typical of her. I stopped and turned around to face her.

"You are my fucking problem!" I spat at her, pushing her into the table. "You!" I grabbed at her hair and yanked it hard which made her cry. I was pulled off her eventually, I wouldn`t let go of her hair.

"Get the hell off of me!" I yelled. I was eventually let go and taken outside by Sam.

"What were you thinking Sonia?" He asked. He didn`t sound angry, strangely enough.

"How can you say that? You heard her!" I sobbed back at him. I just had to cry didn`t I? Sam sighed and pulled me into a hug. It felt safe, fatherly. I let myself cry a little into his chest.

"You are the better person Sonia. That`s what I meant. I know you are hurting, believe me I know. But that doesn`t mean you can take out your anger like that. You can`t go around beating up people who annoy you. It will just get you into trouble."

"It`s not fair!" I whined like a child.

"I know it`s not. I know Sonia. I knew it would have been a problem with you and Bella in the same place. Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you okay with that?" Sam asked.

"No. I want to go home." I looked over to the house and saw Jacob standing in the doorway.

"I`ll take you then."

"I`ll take her." Jacob said, coming up to us.

"No Jacob. Stay with Bella. It`s what you want isn`t it?"

"Don`t tell me what I want Sonia!" Jacob said angrily.

"Leave me alone! Just give me some space!"

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and chapters come along quicker. Besos.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 29. Hope you enjoy. And thank you so so so much for the reviews from the last chapter. You guys are amazing. Well, happy reading. This chapter isn`t as long as the last one but I think it`s the perfect length for what`s going to happen. Remember to review at the end. Tell me what you think.**

"You want to talk about things?" Sam asked me kindly.

"No!" I said a bit too bitchily. I sighed and glanced at Sam sitting beside me in the car. "I`m sorry Sam. I just don`t know what to say."

"It`s a terrible situation. Jacob is just making it worse, he can`t help it though. Bella is just here for the time being I suppose."

"It`s something I have to deal with I think." I said as I turned onto my street and parked in front of my house.

"You don`t have to do anything you don`t want to Sonia. I know what Jacob has said to you, he is pretty determined on getting you back, but that doesn`t mean that you have to play by his rules. If you want to see other guys, I promise you Jacob won`t get in your way."

"Sam! You know Jacob better than I do. There`s no way he`ll stand by and let another guy come near me." I laughed a little. It was a sad thought. Even if I wanted to date another guy Jacob would fuck it up.

"I`ll alpha order him, if that`s what you want. Jacob has no right to tell you what to do, especially when he`s still seeing Bella. It would be like me still seeing Leah and hurting Emily, it`s not fair on either girl."

"What`s the deal with you and Leah and Emily anyway?" I had to ask. Sam looked pained.

"If we are being honest with each other.." Sam said, smiling a little.

"We are."

"I still love Leah, I do really, but Emily is my imprint. Everything changed with that one little look.." He seemed a bit far off for a while. "If Leah wanted now to be with someone else, it would hurt me, but I wouldn`t stand in her way. I love her enough to want to see happy."

"So Jacob feels for me like you feel for Leah?"

"No no no. He feels for Bella like what I feel for Leah. They are both past loves, although I had much more with Leah than Jacob ever had with Bella. The imprint changes everything, believe me. Jacob loves you more than anything in the world. Anything and anyone. He`s messed up though. Bella messed him up bad. He thinks that the love that they have, if you can even call it love, is something that can save her. He`s like obsessed with keeping her human, and he thinks that his love will do it, or that she will stay human for love, as if that is the only reason." Sam sounded a bit disgusted. "He doesn`t want to admit that he`s fighting a losing battle."

"He loves her."

"He does, but he loves you too. More than he loves her...and don`t make that face..it`s true. And I`m glad that you are mature enough to let Jacob`s thing with Bella just run it`s course, because we both know that it`s not going to go anywhere good."

"You loved Leah yes?"

"So much."

"So why aren`t you and Leah like Jacob and Bella now?"

"My relationship with Leah was damaged even before Emily came along. I couldn`t tell Leah what I had become. I hated lying to her but I had to. I hated the look of sadness and disappointment on her face when she knew I wasn`t telling her the truth."

"That`s horrible."

"I know it is. And now, I have to listen to Leah`s thoughts, she has to listen to mine, it`s too much sometimes. Knowing I`m the reason that she`s upset, and mad."

"Have you even tried talking to her?"

"Not really."

"Oh Sam!"

"It`s not easy."

"For her either. I think you should talk to her, acknowledge what you had together, talk to her about her dad, and most important, acknowledge that, just because her love for you isn`t imprinting, that it`s still valid." Sam looked at me strange.

"How the hell can a seventeen year old know so much?"

"I listen. And I`m pretty dumb when it comes to other things."

"Now I know why Jacob imprinted on you." Sam said regarding me. "At the beginning I wasn`t so sure but now...I get it."

"I don`t really know how to take that Sam."

"Hopefully not the wrong way Sonia. The imprint is supposed to make the wolf stronger I think...and visa versa. Jacob can be a selfish person sometimes, well, a lot of the time. But you, you call him out on it, you make him acknowledge it. Being in his head half the time I should know, you bring out the best in him. His good qualities."

"He seems happier around Bella though."

"No...not really. That`s your insecurities telling you so. You didn`t see him watching you when you and Embry were talking. It was like he was watching the most interesting discussion ever, you had his attention. Now, Bella has to try really hard to get his attention. All you have to do is to be in the same room and he is yours."

"You don`t have to say all this Sam."

"You need to hear it Sonia. You know what Jacob`s favorite memory of you is?"

"What?"

"All of them."

"Give me a break." I couldn`t help but smile though.

"It`s the truth."

"You`re such a girl." I elbowed Sam in the ribs a little. He laughed a bit and got out of the car. I followed suit and got out too. "I suppose you have to get back to the meeting now."

"No. You are part of the pack, and the pack comes first. Bella and her problems can wait." Sam smiled at me.

"Okay...come on in." I let him into the house. "Hey nana." I called.

"Hello Sonia." My nana came out of her room and smiled at me and Sam. "Samuel."

"Mrs. Mara." Sam greeted my nana with a handshake.

"Do you two want to see something interesting?" My nana asked, motioning for us to follow her.

"Sure." I shrugged at Sam who looked a bit perplexed. We followed her into her lavender smelling bedroom. She offered Sam her desk chair and I sat down on the bed. She took an ancient looking photo album down from her shelf and gave it to Sam.

"Since we are all from the Uley line...you and Sonia are cousins, distant cousins, but cousins nonetheless."

"That`s true." Sam said, opening the album. I lent over and studied the first pictures. Some were sepia, others were black and white.

"That`s Levi Uley, my father." Wow. One of the original wolves who made the treaty with the Cullen`s. Me and Sam studied the picture interestedly. It was a very young Levi, from the thirties it seemed. You could clearly see the power and strength that he possessed. He was posing on first beach, you could see James Island in the distance, never changing.

"This is amazing Mrs. Mara." Sam said, awed, his eyes never leaving the picture. "And you knew him!"

"Well he was my father!" My nana smiled, patting his shoulder.

"What was he like?" Sam asked.

"A lot like you. Serious, responsible. He was a great father Sam."

"Really?" Sam asked, suddenly seeming younger than he looked.

"Yes Sam."

"For a while...I thought that being a Uley...was a curse. Because of my dad you know."

"You can`t change who your father is Sam. You are your own person, you are not him." My nana said sternly, leaving me and Sam together, saying she was going to make some tea.

"Do you remember your dad?" I asked Sam, curious.

"A little, how about you?" Sam countered.

"Little things, stupid things. Like when he used to argue with my mom, and once when he got me a pet rabbit when I was four."

"What a mix. I don`t really remember Joshua, as I call him. He doesn`t deserve to be called dad." Sam sounded so bitter.

"I get you Sam. At least your dad didn`t rob a gas station with a gun and get himself arrested."

"I wouldn`t know. I don`t even know if he`s alive! No contact in over fifteen years. Son of a bitch." Sam looked angry but quickly checked himself.

"Sucks right? My dad doesn`t want to know me either."

"It`s his loss Sonia."

"And Joshua`s too. So...what else is in the mystery album?"

"Let`s see." Sam said, turning the pages.

We looked at many photos of the original pack, Ephraim Black, Levi Uley and Quil Alteara I. It was cool, and a bit spooky. You could clearly see the new wolves in the old ones faces. It was nuts. There were also pictures of their wives, all of them imprints, looking proud sitting together or with their children. My nana came back with the tea eventually. Sam looked ridiculous with the delicate blue china cup in his huge hands. He had to hold it in his palm because his finger couldn`t fit through the finger hold. Sam asked her a lot of questions about the old pack, so much so that my nana promised to write down everything that she remembered from back then, she was pushing seventy-two after all.

I walked Sam outside after he said he needed to head back for the meeting. I was grateful to him, truly grateful, for him coming home with me, for talking to me, and listening. He thanked me for listening too, for the advice, and gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead, which I giggled at. After that I cleaned the tea cups and sat down at my desk with the album, looking at the photo of Ephraim Black, looking for Jacob`s likeness there. I could see a little, around the eyes, the jaw, the way he held himself. But he wasn`t Jacob. I sighed and closed the album, looking at the worn leather cover with Uley stamped on it in gold lettering. I was a part of this, a part of the pack. I wondered if my great grandchildren would be looking at photos of me in the future. Would I be in a photo album with Black stamped on it? Or would I be in a random one labeled unwanted imprint? A picture of me, sullen faced, sitting alone, angry and bitter at the way things turned out.

I returned the album to it`s shelf in my nana`s room and wandered outside to the back garden, mulling over what Sam had said to me. I shouldn`t play by Jacob`s rules, he was right. I would let Jacob chase after Bella all he wants. I would let him fight his losing battle for her humanity. I decided there and then that whatever happened, however this shit turned out, that I wouldn`t be sitting alone in any photo. Whether it was with Jacob or another man, I wasn`t going to grow old pining after him.

"Sam is turning out to be a good young man." My nana said from the kitchen.

"He is isn`t he." I said, going back inside.

"He is a good alpha. Jacob is much too immature now to take responsibility."

"Jacob doesn`t want it."

"And if he does in the future? Do you think Sam would step aside?" It was something I had never really thought about. "Jacob is the rightful alpha you know. That makes you the female alpha."

"As long as Jacob wants to be the alpha. Now I`m the female beta."

"So how is Jacob?"

"Jacob is being Jacob." I said as I opened the fridge. "Nana...do you remember when I went missing?" I asked carefully, eyeing her as she chopped some tomatoes with her back to me. She lifted her head and stiffened.

"I could never forget that day sweetheart." She took a deep breath and went on chopping.

"I have forgotten." I said, taking out the steaks for tonight`s dinner, and getting the things to marinate them.

"I don`t blame you for forgetting. We all wanted to forget that day."

"Did you though?"

"No, I could never Sonia. I can never forget it." She put down the knife and gripped the kitchen counter with both hands, her shoulders hunched, she suddenly seemed a lot older to me.

"Nana, I dreamed of it last night..." I choked out. I watched her shake her head.

"No...no no no..." She spun around so suddenly that I dropped one of the steaks. "You can`t have...please tell me that you didn`t." Her eyes were wide with fear, a wild fear, that came and went so suddenly when my nana checked herself.

"You`re scaring me. What happened? Where was I found?"

"You were found in the forest, so far out, crying...bleeding...oh Jesus!" My nana started to cry.

"Oh nana!" I cried and wrapped my arms around her. "It`s okay! I`m okay." I hated seeing her like this...so vulnerable. She seemed so small as I hugged her.

"It`s not okay! I knew this day would come...eventually...I knew you would remember."

"But I don`t."

"You will...and when you do..." She pulled herself away from me and wiped her eyes on the tea towel. She took some time to calm herself, taking deep breaths and looking anywhere but at me.

"What do you know?" I asked. I needed to know what she knew.

"Not what you know...when you went missing...during that time...your mother and I...we knew that you were in trouble...I knew you were scared...terrified. My father told me once...that the things our people believed in...that we thought existed exist. Old things. Things older than us. We might be Catholic but that is a religion brought to us when the white man came. In our hearts, in our souls are are the children of this land. We worshipped our own Gods. We were in tune with nature. Vampires exist Sonia...why not other bad things? It all about balance. The yin and yang of nature. One can`t exist without the other. The wolves wouldn`t exist without the vampires. But when one becomes more dominant, when it`s energy threatens to overflow, like a river when it bursts it`s banks, it destroys. It washes away the good."

"What bad things?" I urged but she shook her head.

"That`s for only you to know...since you were the one that found it...you awoke him."

"Who is him?"

"I can`t tell you because...because its..." My nana suddenly clutched at her left arm, her face turning a horrible red color. Oh God...oh god no!

"Nana!" I shouted, catching her just as she fell to the floor. I lay her down gently, terrified, not knowing what to do. She clutched at my hand with a brute strength.

"Sonia...please..." She whispered out in a horribly strained voice.

"It`s okay! Your gonna be fine!" I stood up and tore the phone out from its holder, fumbling twice trying to call 911.

"911. What`s the emergency?"

"Please...please...my nana...she needs an ambulance."

"Address?"

"5 Ocean Drive La Push...please hurry!" I said. When I hung up I dialed Leah`s number, hoping she was with her mom and not phased.

"Hello?" Leah answered.

"Leah...please...please." I sobbed out.

"Sonia! What? What`s going on?" Leah said, worried.

"Your mom...get your mom...my nana..." I cried out some more, looking at my little nana lying on the floor, her body not moving. I dropped the phone and went down on my knees beside her.

"Oh please nana, please be okay..." I cried, not wanting to check any vitals, not wanting to know if she could hear me or not. Taking her hand, I prayed for the first time in years. I repeated the Our Father and prayed with all my soul to let her be okay. I heard a car screech to a halt outside and Sue Clearwater, followed by Leah and Sam came bursting through the kitchen door.

"Please...please Mrs. Clearwater..." Sue ignored me and knelt beside my nana, checking her pulse while Leah wrapped her arms around me, telling me it`s going to be okay.

"You called an ambulance?" Sue asked.

"Yes...is she okay? Is she..." I couldn`t say it.

"She`s alive." Sue said. Oh thank you God. Thank you thank you.

"My mom..."

"I`ll call her." Sam said, picking up the phone. I could hear the sirens of the ambulance approach, and knelt beside my nana again.

"I love you nana, you`re going to be fine. I promise you." I patted her hair, black peppered with grey, beautiful hair. Her eyes were closed, the lids looked papery thin.

"I called your mom. She`ll meet us the the hospital with Michael." Sam told me, rubbing my shoulder. I nodded, not finding any words. "Jacob`s coming." He told me. I nodded again as I watched two paramedics come in and placed my nana on a stretcher, getting her ready to go to the hospital. I followed them out, and into the ambulance.

"Sonia!" I heard Jacob yell, he seemed so far away, and I didn`t turn to see where his voice was coming from. I took a firm hold on my nana`s hand and gave it a kiss. "Sonia!" I heard him shout again, sounding closer this time. The doors of the ambulance were slammed shut and we were away.

"You are going to be fine..you`ll be okay." I chanted over and over again that it almost turned into a prayer of its own. She couldn`t...die...she couldn`t leave me...and my mom. Not yet...it wasn`t her time.

**Remember to review. It makes the story better. Besos.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29! Hope you guys like and sorry for the wait. Work and Easter and a new nephew has been keeping me busy and away from writing. Thanks so so so so much for all the lovely reviews from the last chapter. You guys are awesome! **

**Anyway! Happy reading and don`t forget to tell me what you think at the end!**

Nana died on the way to the hospital. I held her hand throughout, never letting go until we arrived and the doctor made me. She never regained consciousness. I felt like I was watching everything from outside my body, the reality not sinking in, expecting the doctor to tell me that they made a mistake. I was in shock, standing in the hospital like a lost soul, waiting for my mom to arrive, waiting to tell her own momma was dead.

Jacob arrived a couple of minutes after I did. I couldn`t hear a word he was saying, I didn`t want to look at him. My grief was overriding all my other emotions so that I couldn`t feel anything else. I just kept on looking through the swinging doors they rolled my nana through. I was vaguely aware of being pressed into Jacob`s warm body. Of his long arms wrapping themselves around me, rubbing my back, of kisses being placed on my face and head. Things I couldn`t respond to, I didn`t want to respond to. I didn`t want to. I didn`t want to...I didn`t want to!

I pulled myself out of Jacob`s arms and pushed him away. I looked at his face, his shocked face, his sympathetic face, his .FACE!

"Get the fuck off of me!" I spat. Punching him on his chest. It hurt. I punched him again. This time harder. "You stupid fucking piece of shit...how dare you even fucking touch me!" I made to hit him again but he snagged both my wrists in his hands and held them so I couldn`t move.

"I`m sorry...I know your upset...but you need to know I`m here for you." Jacob whispered, not releasing my wrists as I struggled against him.

"Stop making this about you! It`s about nana!" I said angrily, kicking him now. Nothing had an effect on him. If anything he pulled me in closer. "Leave me alone." I said against the brick wall of his chest.

"No Sonia. Just...just let it out." He implored, looking at me with that stupid sympathetic look that I hated seeing on his face. "It`s okay to be upset."

"It`s all my fault." I wailed, finally submitting and falling against him. His arms wrapped around me again, eagerly, and I cried into his chest, not caring if I used his shirt as a tissue.

"It`s not your fault baby. It`s not." He consoled me, kissing my head some more. I pulled my head away from his chest, wiping my nose on the back of my hand until a nurse came over and gave me some tissues.

"When`s my mom getting here." I asked, sitting down. I needed mom. She needed me.

"Soon, in about fifteen minutes."

"What hospital are we at?"

"Forks." Jacob answered, wrapping his arm around me again, pulling me into him.

"Jacob?" An naturally musical voice came from our left. I felt something inside me tense, shouting danger over and over. Jacob wrapped his arm around me some more. I looked up and saw who must be the Cullen doctor. He looked like some sick, made up china doll. Skin too pale, looks too perfect, eyes too gold and hair too blond. I shuddered in revulsion at the sight of him.

"Now`s not the best time." Jacob said angrily.

"Is this Sonia? Ms. Mara, nice to meet you, I`m Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I`m deeply sorry about your loss." He said, in that creepy voice again. "I can assure you that your grandmother was in no pain when she died." I didn`t answer him. She was in pain...I made her think about it.

"Just leave...she doesn`t want you around her." And I don`t want him touching my nana either, I thought. Dr. Leech gave Jacob a nod and me a smile and left us. "You need anything? Water? Tea?"

"No."

"Okay. You...you did everything you could...don`t blame yourself for this. It was out of your control." Jacob took my hands in both of his and kissed my forehead. I didn`t know what to feel anymore. This day...has been the worst of my life.

"I knew...I knew that one day I would lose her, that she would die but I didn`t expect it to be like this. So much left unfinished and unsaid. I just didn`t see it coming."

"You can`t sometimes, well a lot of the time." He said sadly. I looked at him. He lost his mom, in one of the most horrible ways, he had no chance to say goodbye to her.

"I just...I dunno Jacob."

"You don`t have to say anymore, you don`t have to talk about it if you don`t want to." He hastened to reassure me.

"I will have to. Sometime. It`s unhealthy not talking about these things."

"It is...when...when my mom..was killed in that accident..." He huffed out a huge breath. I was shocked. Jacob never talked about this. Nor did Billy or Rachel. "It was like we couldn`t talk about it. My dad got rid of her stuff pretty quick, not all of it, but the stuff that was too painful to be around. Rachel and Rebecca just cut themselves off from it, leaving when they got the chance."

"And you?" I asked gently. Jacob looked at me, eyes sad yet he gave me a small smile.

"I stopped thinking about it. It was hard. I don`t know if I can anymore."

"You don`t have to tell me this. I don`t want you hurting."

"It`s okay, and this isn`t about my grief. It`s about..."

"Mine and my moms. Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell the leech doctor not to touch my nana?" Jacob looked at me thoughtfully before nodding his head and getting up.

"I`ll tell him." He headed off, disappearing through a swinging door, leaving me on my own.

Oh nana. My little nana. So strong. So full of life...well she was...before I brought up those memories. Just this morning she was talking about Christmas, just two weeks away. She was so excited. She loved Christmas. She loved the turkey, the songs, decorating the house. Who knows when our time will be up.

Have I ever described myself as a spiritual person? I believe in God, I believe in the Great Spirit. So did she. She was never afraid of death. When my granddad Pat died ten years ago, I remember her saying that he was in another place now, he wasn`t gone, he wasn`t lost to us, he was just where we couldn`t see him, couldn`t reach him. Was my nana in that place? With granddad Pat? With her brothers and sisters? With her parents? With all of our ancestors? Like she said before. If wolves and vampires exist, why not other things? A place like heaven or the next plain. The thought was comforting a little.

"Sonia!" My mom`s voice carried across the waiting room. It sounded higher, more strained. I got up and ran towards her. Launching myself on her I cried and so did she.

"Just...thank God she wasn`t alone when she died. You were with her...to comfort her." She sobbed, which made me cry some more. Michael stood behind my mom, his blue eyes locked on her, rubbing small circles on her back. We made eye contact and he gave me an awkward couple of pats on the shoulder.

"I`m sorry Sonia...it must have been terrible, but you did a wonderful thing by being with her as your mom said, to be there for her, that`s the most and best you could have done."

I couldn`t answer him. Just cried into my moms shoulder some more. As horrible as it was, as disgusting as it was, I knew I would have felt indescribably worse if it was my mom and not nana. Or if it was Jacob...no! Don`t even think about that! I couldn`t lose them yet. Not yet.

The funeral was...a funeral. It was everything a funeral should be. Sad, somber, heartbreaking. Basically the whole tribe turned out for it. St. Anne`s Church in Forks was packed with people, some who knew her well and other`s who didn`t. I sat in the first pew with my mother. Michael sat behind us. Jacob kept his distance. After the hospital I found I couldn`t talk to him. I didn`t want to talk to him. I found that something had changed. I was sick of his bullshit, of this bullshit. Losing my nana made me realize that life is not meant to be lived in a constant stream of fights and arguments. What was the point anymore? What was I fighting for? Most of all, I didn`t want to look at him, in the eye, because I was afraid to. I was afraid to see if I didn`t love him anymore, I was afraid to see if I still did. It was something I couldn`t feel for him anymore, or if I could, it was buried, it was being suppressed.

When we got back to the house, it was packed again. People standing around in various shades of black and grey. Talking about nana and other things. My mom and me had set up a table with photos of her. My favorite stood in the middle. It was one of her back in 1964, looking all cool with a beehive, posing with my granddad during their honeymoon to New York.

Emily had outdone herself with the food. Every free surface held plates of sandwiches or cake, and I was grateful to her for doing it, because I couldn`t even think of food let alone feeding people, since the hospital.

I escaped outside with Ollie, Bernie, Chris and Lorraine. They were nice to me, trying to act normal and trying to make me smile. Which I did. Bernie even coaxed me into eating a ham sandwich, which I had to admit tasted delicious after not eating anything in almost two days.

"You know that Sam took my weed." Chris whispered to us, looking over his shoulder at the house. He looked like he was almost afraid of being overheard.

"Seriously? Why?" Bernie asked, annoyed. She enjoyed a good joint, and Chris was her go to guy for it.

"You know Sam. He`s all wholesome now. I remember him and Trent back in the day always hanging out smoking weed with Leah and Bonnie." Trent was Chris`s older brother, now going to university in Seattle, who was the same age as Sam. "What a fucking hypocrite."

"Sam`s not that bad. He`s really pretty nice some you get through the whole mean exterior." I defended. Chris snorted and shook his head.

"Okay Sonia." He said, stuffing his face with chocolate cake. I knew he wanted to say more but was afraid to, seeing that I was grieving. I let it go and rubbed my hands together. It was fucking freezing out.

"Sonia?" I heard Kim`s gentle voice come from the back door. I turned and motioned her over to us. She was wearing a black dress that looked like a tent. It did her no justice whatsoever, seeing how pretty she already was.

"Hey Kim." I said.

"Hey Kim." Bernie and Lorraine greeted.

"Hi Kim." The guys greeted her. Sure enough, Jared followed her out.

"It`s freezing out here babe, do you want me to get you your coat?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"It`s okay Jared. Do you think you could give me a minute with Sonia?"

"Yeah, sure babe." Jared went reluctantly back inside. Kim took my hand.

"Do you think I can borrow Kim for a couple of minutes?" She asked my friends, who nodded their heads. "Thanks guys." She led me inside. "Where can we talk in private?"

"My room. Come on." I spotted Jacob from the corner of my eye but ignored him. I brought Kim into my messy room and shut the door behind us.

"Remember when we used to take ballet together?" She asked, smiling as she fingered a tutu hanging from the back of my door.

"Of course." I smiled a little. Kim was so cute back then, if not a little shy. She was two years older than me and quit ballet almost a year ago.

"How are you? I know it`s a stupid question but you know, I needed to ask." She said, sitting down on my bed and taking off her heels. She breathed an audible sigh of relief and stretched out her legs.

"Okay considering." I sat down beside her and took off my own heels. They were beginning to pinch my toes.

"I`m sorry Sonia. I liked your nana a lot. She was super nice, always."

"Thanks Kim." I looked down at my feet tight clad feet. There was a beginning of a ladder on my left big toe.

"Sonia...I needed to ask you something." Kim asked hesitantly, shooting a glance at the door.

"Shoot."

"On Sunday night I had this dream...and I don`t really know what to make of it." She looked suddenly so young, so unsure. And I felt scared, I think I actually stopped breathing a little.

"What kind of dream?" I asked, as normal as I could manage. I think I already knew what she would say.

"When I was little, I think about seven or eight, I wandered off on my own, into the woods. I got lost. I remembered seeing you there, it was you. You went inside." She whispered, smoothing her dress over her bump. Her hands were shaking a little.

"What?" I whispered. Kim looked suddenly pale.

"Oh Christ...I had never been so scared, I remember this voice...it knew my name, it was calling me to come inside too...then...then you screamed...and I ran. I ran away. I was just looking for Jingle, my dog, he ran off into the woods." Kim was crying now. The door was opened and Jared came inside hurriedly, worry etched into every line of his face.

"Kim...what`s the matter? I felt...you were frightened." He knelt in front of her and cupped her face. I wondered if he was listening in on the conversation before. That thought was lost as I processed what Kim had told me. She was there, she dreamed it too.

"Please Jared. Can I just have a couple of minutes? I`m fine." Kim promised, giving him a kiss and a weak smile. Jared sighed then relented. He shut the door quietly behind him and we were left alone again.

"I`m sorry for bringing this up now...but...I couldn`t wait any longer. I had forgotten, but now I remember. Little things. Not everything. I remember running home and trying to tell my dad that I saw you, I knew where you were. But he was so angry at me for going out into the woods by myself that he didn`t listen to me. I`m so sorry Sonia." She clutched at my hands.

"It`s okay Kim. Believe me. I just got lost." I lied, I didn`t want to remember.

"But...but the dream I had the other night...if you can even call it a dream...it had Jared run home from patrol it was that powerful...I saw you there, both little Sonia and you now. With it...something...a shadow. It told me...that..." Kim burst into tears at this stage, and Jared bounded into the room, this time picking her up and placing her on his lap. I was speechless. How could she have...what did she know? I left the two of them alone in my room and shut the door behind me. I felt light headed and I had the feeling I was suffocating with all these people here. All this noise. I felt sick.

"Sonia...what`s up with Kim?" Sam asked. Giving my bedroom door a stare.

"She`s just upset." I said, trying to get by him.

"Over what?" He pressed.

"Over something that...happened a long time ago." I needed air. I needed to think.

"You can tell me." Sam offered kindly but I shook my head.

"Please...I need to be on my own."

"Okay Sonia. I`m here for you if you need to talk you know."

"I know Sam. Thanks...really." I fled down the hall and on my way out I smacked right into Jacob. He automatically put his arms out to steady me but I backed away from him.

"Sonia...what`s going on?" He asked. "You`re scared."

"No...I`m fine." I muttered, searching for an escape but he had me cornered.

"You`re not fine! Please...let me help you." He pleaded and I snorted.

"You can help me by pissing off." I spat, still refusing to look into his eyes.

"Sonia...You know I`m not going to do that."

"It`s all about you isn`t Jacob? You`re so fucking selfish! Why can`t you just give me a break and leave me alone?" I tried to push past him but he grabbed my arm and dragged me into my mothers bedroom. "Get off!" I forced myself out of my hold and stood as far as I could away from him. This was too much. I was still processing what Kim had told me. I didn`t need more shit from Jacob to top it all off.

"I`m not leaving you alone! You`re my imprint!" He said with forced calm but I could hear the anger start to color his tone.

"I`m your imprint...I know Jacob. Tell me something new."

"And I`m here for you."

"What does that even mean? You`re here for me? What does that involve? What do you want?" I was pissed off now. Seriously!

"I want you to talk to me!"

"Like you talk to me?" I laughed and shook my head. "Like you tell me the truth? I know what you want."

"What do I want. Since you can read my mind you can tell me."

"You want me to be weak! You want to play the hero. You want me sad so you can sweep in and save the day." I taunted, and I believed every word of what I was saying.

"You`re crazy."

"Oh? Really? I thought I just needed some time alone to grieve. Time that you won`t give me. If I`m crazy it`s because of you."

"I`m not trying to be the hero Sonia. I swear it."

"You are Jacob. I don`t know why but you are. With me and especially with Bella. It`s not strange why you are paying me so much attention now." I stopped myself from going any farther. But it was all true. Jacob likes being the hero, saving the woman. Maybe it went back to his mothers accident but I was never going to use that against him. He has a hero complex and Bella just feeds it. "Just leave me be." I whispered.

"I will if that`s what you want. And by the way, I like that you are strong. I told you that before. Being weak is nothing to be ashamed of." He said quietly before leaving me alone in the bedroom.

I was left cold. And sad. Sad over my nana and sad because of Kim and sad because I realized what Jacob was offering me I didn`t want and I didn`t need. It was all too much. Did he really think that because we are soul mates that the normal rules of relationships didn`t apply to us? That I would run back into his arms because I lost someone that I loved? That I would forget everything? No! Never! There was too much shit going on already without Jacob complicating things.

I needed to be strong. I had to face my fears. I had to remember what happened in that cave. If Kim saw it and heard it then it was true. A shiver of fear ran down my spine with that thought. She saw it, she was scared...terrified She dreamed about it too! And nana...bringing it up made her have a heart attack...that`s what the fear did to her! What I did! I choked out a sob and looked out the window. I owed it to her...to nana...to find out what wanted to destroy La Push.

**Remember to review! The good the bad and whatever else you think. Thanks for reading.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey guys! Sorry for such a long wait. Had so much stuff going on! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews from the last chap. You are amazing for sticking with this for so long. Anyway. The new chapter. Edward makes a little visit here. Hope you enjoy and remember to review at the end.**

******Happy reading!**

"Sonia? There`s someone on the phone for you." My mom said as she opened my door and disturbed me from my little cat nap I was taking. I rolled onto my back and rubbed my eyes.

"Who is it? It`s not Jacob is it?" I asked, half hoping it would be him.

Jacob and I hadn`t spoken properly since the funeral two months ago. We would see each other at school, at Emily`s, and at Kim and Jared`s place since they had little baby Noah. Nothing was exchanged between us but polite pleasantries, neither of us wanted to take any conversations farther.

I had heard that Jacob was spending more and more time with Bella, for her own protection apparently, since there was a vengeful vampire after her because she caused the death of said vampires mate or some bullshit. The funny thing was that Jacob was less heavy and aggressive in trying to win me back as he promised when he was spending more time with Bella. For me it just proved that he was all fucking talk. Truth was, I missed him terribly, and the angry rage and disappointment of not having him with me anymore boiled down to a bitter acceptance. Bella could have him. She will hurt him and it serves him right for letting her.

"Who is it then?" I asked, getting up and stretching out.

"I don`t know, a guy, sounds really polite." My mom gave me a hopeful smile. She hated Jacob as much as I do now. Good to know what side she`s on. Curious, I put on my Snooki style green slippers and picked up the receiver in the kitchen.

"Hello?" Who could it be? I wasn`t expecting the chill I felt as I heard the persons voice on the opposite end.

"Hello Sonia. May I extend my own and my families deepest regrets over the loss of your grandmother." No! Fucking! Way! Edward the Freak Cullen was calling my house! I was shocked into speechlessness for a while.

"W-what?" I replied dumbly. Shit! "Why are you calling here?"

"We need to speak. Just me and you."

"We don`t need to speak about anything." I snarled down the phone.

"We do. I am asking you politely Sonia. I am sorry about making you come with me the last time."

"Are you for real? Making me come? You kidnapped me and drugged me!" I whispered into the phone, my mom was probably lurking in the shadows outside the kitchen trying to listen in.

"You`re right. I apologize."

"We can`t talk Edward. Do you want Jacob to kill you?"

"Jacob is too preoccupied with Bella at the moment to even think about who you are meeting or talking to." That hurt to the quick. Of course Edward would know what Jacob was thinking, he could read minds after all. I swallowed a painful lump down my throat and exhaled a breath I hadn`t known I was keeping in.

"Why do you want to talk to me?"

"We need to meet and talk. About our mutual situation." He stressed mutual and I got the picture. His Bella and my Jacob. I twisted the telephone cord around my fingers and looked at the spot where my nana collapsed that horrible day.

"It will cause so much shit Edward. And I don`t really feel like having my blood drained today." To my surprise he actually chuckled a little.

"You will come to no harm while you are with me. So what do you think? In or out Sonia?" In or out? What Jacob said to me that day before we went to the beach. Should I flip a coin to decide? Should I go?

"I promise you Sonia, you won`t be hurt. It`s entirely up to you." Edward reassured me again.

"Fine. I`ll meet you."

"Good. Meet me in Forks Diner. I`ll be waiting there for you."

"Forks Diner? When?"

"Now preferably. Bella is coming back in a couple of hours and when she leaves Jacob will obviously check if you are okay."

"I`ll see you there in half an hour." I decided on the spot. I would actually be glad in getting an angry reaction from Jacob. If meeting up in a friendly diner with his mortal (or immortal) enemy was the trick then I was going to take it. Let him smell the leech on me.

"Perfect."

"Bye."

"Goodbye."

A strange sense of excitement rushed through me as I tied up my converse and brushed my hair. Talk about Interview with a vampire. I knew it was a dumb thing to actually agree to meet him in the first place but, in a sense, he and I were in the same boat. We were both being fucked over by people we love. If the pack were to go bananas if they knew I was meeting one of the Cullens then Jacob would go ape shit. Fuck him. I could meet whomever I wanted. If the Cullens spent all their time around humans without draining their blood then I wouldn`t be in that much danger now would I? Christ! This reassuring myself is not working. Maybe that`s why Edward chose a popular spot with people for us to meet. To reassure me that he won`t kill me in front of so many witnesses.

I drove with a sense of panic out of the rez. I was expecting a giant wolf to leap out of the trees at any moment and block my path. But it didn`t happen. Jacob didn`t hear my conversation then. He must be too preoccupied with precious Bella to even listen in on me anymore. Jerk!

Approaching the diner I saw Edward`s infamous Volvo parked next to a rusting pick up. He was true to his word. He was waiting inside for me. I parked next to a real cool Harley and willed my fear away. He won`t kill me. He won`t kill me. He won`t will he?

I opened the door with sweaty hands and looked around the diner. It was full. It seemed like most of Forks High was there. A couple of the boys eyed me curiously and smiled before I spotted Edward sitting in the corner, still as a statue. He was handsome, in an other worldly sort of way. But he was missing something and had extra things that no human shouldn`t have. The beauty, the stillness, it wasn`t normal. Why couldn`t people see it.

I locked eyes with him and was surprised to see a smile curve his mouth. He stood up and beckoned me towards him. Stiffly, I made my way over to him and sat down opposite.

"You are perceptive Sonia. A skill not a lot of people have." He seemed to be studying me with his strange golden eyes. "Most people find me attractive, not strange looking."

"Most people don`t know what you really are!" I countered, with earned me another chuckle and smile.

"May I take your order?" A waitress appeared from thin air behind me, all eyes for Edward.

"Nothing for me but my companion would like a black coffee." Edward said.

"Okay, if you change your mind about anything to drink or to eat let me know darling." And with that she flounced off, ponytail swinging.

"Does it ever get old?" I asked him.

"Reading peoples minds? I tend to block it out most of the time. It`s a useful gift sometimes but one I wouldn`t wish on anyone."

"So...our mutual situation." I raised my eyebrows at him and he nodded.

"It has gone on for long enough I think. I`m getting sick of it to be honest. Being...who I am or what I am for that matter, change doesn`t come often. Emotional changes. Bella...is the first woman I have ever loved. With...my kind, emotional changes, like love, hate, grief, change us. Humans can fall in and out of love so often that the flurry of emotions that come with them seem so casual. For me, my love isn`t casual. I`m not used to it. Or to any of the other emotions that come with it. Jealousy, protectiveness, physical affection..." He stopped as the waitress came back with my coffee. I thanked her but it fell on deaf ears as she placed it in front of Edward. He gently nudged it towards me.

"So...you`re jealous that Bella is spending time with Jacob?" I asked as I poured two sugars into my coffee.

"I am. So are you."

"I know. But, it`s something I have to get over." I sighed and I stirred in the sugar.

"Jacob belongs with you."

"I hate hearing that...so please...don`t remind me. Soul mates and all that jazz. It`s just getting more confusing."

"You shouldn`t have broken up with him."

"Why not? Because it keeps Bella away from him and with you?" I asked nastily. "I don`t understand you Edward. Why do you tolerate it?"

"Because I love her." He said, almost sadly.

"If she loves you then she would take your feelings into account don`t you think?"

"Jacob helped her when I left. I understand that they have a special bond. Something I could never share with her."

"Edward listen. I really don`t know why you asked me here? You know I hate Bella! I have broken up with Jacob. There`s nothing I can do. If you think that I can stop Jacob from seeing Bella then forget about it. It won`t work. He can`t stay away from her, and her from him."

"Jacob loves you, and you love him."

"Love is complicated. I gave him so much...and he just..." I stared down into the coffee. Every kiss I shared with Jacob, every cuddle, the times we made love, the times he told me he loved me, I let Edward see. He had to understand. Then I thought about how Jacob lied to me, all the horrible nasty things he said to me, how he took from me what I could only give once so happily all the while being in love with someone else, all the while lying to my face. "Is that love Edward? All the lies, all the pain. If you are going to try and convince me to get Jacob out of your perfectly tussled hair then forget it. You said that Jacob loves me...but sometimes love isn`t enough."

"I tried to leave Bella you know, for her own protection. It almost killed both me and her. I vowed never to leave her again. I don`t have your freedom Sonia. Well, you are hardly free being imprinted on but...I don`t have the freedom to break up with Bella. I could never."

"You could. Might show her that it`s you she really wants." I suggested.

"Out of the question. It will hurt her too much."

"Then what? We have gotten no where."

"I know what Jacob thinks. He is foolish, head strong, and he has the ability to be malicious. He loves you though. Maybe not the way you want him to but he will come to realize it soon enough, that you are the only woman for him. Bella is like a mission for him. He wants to keep her human, which I fully agree with, he doesn`t want her to lose her humanity."

"So I keep hearing." I drummed my knuckles on the tabletop, desperate to stop talking about Bella.

"I think it`s about time that I go home Sonia." Edward said, swiftly getting up and paying the bill at the counter. I followed suit and left with him.

"Thank you for meeting with me, even if we got nowhere with our mutual problem."

"It seems like our problems are different." I shrugged, zipping up my parka.

"You are a wonderful dancer by the way. I saw one of your performances last year." I was surprised by his sudden compliment.

"Thanks." I said awkwardly, meeting his eyes.

"Have you thought of any companies you would like to join?"

"I have a whole list of companies I would love to join, all out of my league, and too far from La Push." I laughed, which made Edward smile. He suddenly looked boyish.

"Don`t give up on your dreams. You have the talent, and the passion."

"I know. Well, I better head home. Thanks for the coffee."

"We should do it again some time." Edward said, shocking me.

"Ehhh yeah, sure." Again?

"If you want." He added. If he were human he would be cute.

"Thanks." He smirked at me.

"Don`t let that go to your head. Goodbye Edward. Thanks for not sucking my blood." I turned to my car and got in. Christ that was weird. And Edward was still watching me. Eughh gross.

I let my mind wander as I drove home. I was beginning to regret having that coffee with Edward. The way he looked at me. Calculating. Like this meeting was part of some different plan. I was broken out of my thoughts almost back to La Push when I saw a huge half naked figure standing in the middle of the road just around the bend. Shit! One of the pack. They must have found out. I slowed down my car as I approached him. It was Jacob. And he looked livid.

**Remember to review! It makes the story better. **


	31. Chapter 31

**hey guys! thanks for all the wonderful reviews from the last chapter! You guys are great for sticking with me after my disappearance. I have had so much work lately, and since the weather has picked up in sunny Spain I had to take advantage. But now I`m back and so is Sonia. What`s going to happen next? Happy reading and remember to review at the end. It only takes a second and your feedback is amazing!**

What was with all the guilt I was feeling? All I did was meet up with Edward. Sure, he was a leech, a dangerous monster that could kill me if he wanted to, but he didn`t, so what did I do so wrong? Ah crap. I know what I did was stupid, idiotic, and utterly dangerous, but a really big part of me, if I was being honest, wanted Jacob to take notice of me again, to pursue me again. I needed him and I wanted him but I was too proud and too smart to admit it. I wanted Jacob on his knees before I could ever take him back. And I was jealous, so horribly jealous of the time he was spending with Bella that I would hurt Jacob by spending time with the one person he hated the most. Edward.

It was a dangerous and moronic game to play. Men after all are simple creatures my mom would tell me. They don`t like or respond well to these types of games. And Jacob? I knew he would be angry, me stinking of leech and all that. Faking a bravado I sure as hell didn`t feel I slowed down the car and made my face an impassive mask. I killed the engine and stopped about ten feet in front of him. Don`t sweat don`t fret. Jacob would never hurt me.

As soon as I stopped he strode over to my side of the car and rapped on the window like a cop. I cringed inwardly as I looked hesitantly at his perfect abdomen before opening the door an inch to show I was getting out. He backed off and went and stood at the border of the woods. Studying him I could see how angry he was, he was shaking his head and muttering under his breath. I got out of the car and stood nervously at the hood of my car. I wanted so bad just to hop back in and drive away, but I wasn`t a coward. I did this, I knew what would happen, I needed to face him.

"How did you find out?" I asked him, breaking the angry silence. He turned to face me, his face a picture of disgust.

"You were seen!" He hissed at me. "With him! HIM! Of all people." He laughed bitterly. "I don`t understand you."

"Who saw us?" I asked, curious despite my fear.

"Marcii Cameron. She was driving past the diner and saw you with one of the Cullens. The bronze haired one she said. She called Jared, who called me."

"And why is that so bad?" I asked, pushing it. Jacob looked incredulous. "I mean. If if Bella goes out with him then..."

"SHUT UP! Don`t even!" He yelled, striding towards me and closing the gap between us in a matter of seconds. "Do you have some sort of a death wish? Or are you just doing this to hurt me?"

"No!" I yelled back.

"Then why? Do you...do...please don`t tell me you`ve met him before. Don`t tell me you like him." He said, so pained. I looked down at the ground.

"Don`t be so gross. Of course I don`t like him! This is the first and only time I`ve met him."

"Why did you? He`s the enemy! How could you have been so stupid?" He placed his hands on my upper arms, firmly but not painfully, although his fury was still rolling off him in waves.

"I was curious. I wanted to hear what he had to say." I said flatly.

"So he called you. I`ll fucking kill him. Tear him limb from limb." Jacob growled. "The fucking nerve...calling my imprint. You would think he would be satisfied taking Bella from me."

"Don`t worry, he`s just as obsessed with her as you are." I retorted angrily, struggling out of his grasp.

"Don`t start Sonia. You are never seeing him again! Got it?"

"You can`t tell me what to do!"

"I`m keeping you safe! Why would you even want to see him again? For his car? His expensive clothes? His money?" He asked nastily. He really did think the worst of me. I was not going to tell him the reason was to talk about him.

"Think what you want Jacob. It`s none of your business as to why I saw Edward. Why don`t you ask Bella the same questions? I bet you don`t shout at her after she spends time with him."

"This is nothing got to do with her! It`s about you!"

"What about me? WHAT?" I snarled like an angry dog.

"You are one of us! Part of the pack! There shouldn`t be any reason why you would even want to be near any of them. You have to connection to any of them! You are Quileute!"

"I know what I am and where my loyalties lie!"

"Start acting like it then! The rest of the pack are furious with you. That you would betray us like that."

"Stop being so dramatic! The rest of the pack and you overall Jacob welcomed Bella back with open arms after she ran back to her precious leeches."

"That`s different." He whispered.

"That`s right. When it comes to her the rules don`t apply. Anything for the saintly Bella. Well sinners have souls too Jacob." I turned away from him and to the drivers door. When I went to open it Jacob stopped me.

"We`re not finished yet. You are going to talk to me properly. I`m not going to let you run away."

"How well do you think you know me Jacob?" I asked him.

"I know you pretty well I think." He said, taken aback a bit.

"Then tell me why I went to see Edward." I let go of the door handle and Jacob let his hand drop from my arm.

"You went to hurt me."

"No Jacob." I shook my head.

"Then why?"

"Because...cause all this is killing me. How could you not know? Not realize?"

"I know you are still grieving for your nana but you didn`t need to run to see Edward to get some kick about feeling alive." This time it was my turn to look incredulous.

"Kick about feeling alive? You think this was about nana?"

"Please Sonia, just tell me. Just open up." There was a note of pleading under his angry exterior.

"I...I can`t...I can`t trust you." Jacob didn`t say anything for a long time.

"I know I let you down before...But I promised I wouldn`t do it again."

"You did. But you have yet to make good on another promise."

"I gave you all the space you wanted! What more do you want?" He was getting angry again.

"That`s true. I`ll give you that. But you also promised you would win me back too remember." I faced him fully, let myself look into the dark depths of his eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"I did." He whispered, his voice husky.

"Seems like you forgot about that promise since Bella got herself into some more trouble."

"I haven`t forgotten Sonia." He whispered, stepping in closer. "So you did this...to get my attention?" He asked softly. "To make me jealous?"

"What do you think?" I could feel his breath on my face now.

"I think you`re crazy." He said seriously. I looked up at his face and he looked grim. "I think you`re acting like a stupid little girl." He spat. "If that is really the reason then..." He didn`t finish. I felt humiliated. I got burnt big time.

"I`m going home." I said in a rush to be away from him.

"I told your mom." He called after me. I spun around on my feet at his words of betrayal.

"You what?"

"She was pretty pissed too. Don`t be surprised if you are grounded until you are fifty."

"Fucking jerk."

"Just looking out for you. I know you won`t listen to me. You might listen to Sam if it suits you but I know the one person you would never dare to disobey is your mom."

"I hate you." I whispered angrily. "I would never sell you out like that."

"When it comes to your safety, when it comes to keeping you alive and free from harm, I would happily do it again."

"You`re sick!" I got into my car and sped off. Shit FUCK FUCK FUCK! When I get home... oh God. She`s gonna kill me! She`s gonna be so fucking mad.

The feeling of apprehension grew into full blown horror as I got to my house and saw my mom waiting at the open front door white faced and tight lipped, her arms crossed underneath her full bosom. She looked so rigid with quiet anger that she would snap at any moment. I was so in for it.

The screaming tirade started the minute she shut the front door behind me. How could I have been so stupid? Stupid was really turning into peoples definition of me today! How could I have been so careless with my own life? What was I thinking? Was I really that stupid? I was grounded until she said so. No friends. No going out. No internet. No phone. No dance class. One more step out of line and she was sending me to Catholic School in Port Angeles. After her rant she sent me to my room.

I was too scared to even cry. I had never seen my mom so angry. Never like that. I had let her down big time. Scared her horribly. I knew it was my fault but I couldn`t help but blame Jacob. He should have kept his big mouth shut! Urghh. I couldn`t go to dance class! That was the one that fucked me over the most. I knew my mom wanted me to start thinking more realistically about my future. Go to community college and get some sort of technical degree or diploma that would enable me to make a good living when I`m older. Now she will be watching me like a hawk and breathing down my neck to study more.

"Sonia." My mom barged into my room with her phone in her hand. "You are resigning from work tomorrow and going to work for the tribal council." What?

"But mom! I need the money!"

"Don`t you dare argue with me!" She said dangerously. "You are staying safe here, in the rez. The tribal council is going to give you work."

"Doing what?"

"What they see fit. You`re dinner is in the fridge. Eat it then go straight to bed." She slammed the door behind her leaving me feeling more dejected than ever. I liked my little job. I sure as hell didn`t want to leave Jim high and dry. Mom would have to understand that surely! Working for the council? They don`t even pay! Why was I being punished so much for one little mistake? It wasn`t as if I was planning to run off and elope with Edward.

After I had finished my dinner and brushed my teeth I wished my mom a good night which she responded to with a grunt I went to bed. Looking up at my glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling I found I couldn`t go to sleep. I was too wound up. Too uptight. I couldn`t get comfortable. I reflected dumbly that my period was going to come soon and that I needed tampons.

I eventually feel into a fitful, disturbed sleep. Dreaming in random order of the cave, the raccoon, Jacob and Bella having sex and Edward watching from a closet recording it on his iPhone and me being in maths class wearing nothing on my lower half.

When I woke up it was only about six in the morning. This was no time to wake up on a Sunday. It was unGodly. Tip toeing my way into the kitchen I made a chocolate milk and stood at the back door looking out into the yard. It was dark and raining. Gloomy in other words. Not a nice day to wake up to. Lost in thought the sudden smell of lavender made me shiver. The smell of nana. As quick as it came it went. I was tempted to go into her room but I knew my mom would kill me if I did. She had taken nana`s death pretty hard. We both did. I knew I would have to work extra hard on winning moms trust back. The best way to do it was to just give in to all her demands. Crazy and otherwise.

What a mess I had made of everything. What a stupid game to play. Jacob had made no comment on whether he still wanted me or not. Not one word. And I had given too much away to boot! Maybe he had gotten sick of me being an ice queen. Maybe he didn`t want to wait for me to thaw out. It seemed like he didn`t want to win be back after all.

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better you know. Besos.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32. Hope you guys enjoy! There are a lot things happening in this one. Important things. Every character is introduced for a reason you know. Anyways. Have fun reading and thank you so so so much for all your wonderful reviews. I take everything you say into consideration and if you have any questions or suggestions, don`t be afraid to ask. Happy reading.**

That morning, after I had called Jim and told him I couldn`t work for him anymore, my mom drove me down to the council building. She was only speaking to me when she needed to. Giving me only the bare minimum in information. After she dropped me off she told me that whenever she couldn`t be at home with me I was to be at Sam and Emily`s place.

"But mom! I`m not a kid! I don`t need babysitting!" I protested. How embarrassing.

"I`ll decide that." She snapped. "Once you start acting like an adult I`ll treat you like one."

She dropped me off outside and told me that I would be going home with Sam as she was going out with Michael for dinner.

"I need a stiff drink after the hell you put me through yesterday." She said as I got out. Making me feel a mixture of angry, jealous that she was spending so much time with Michael, and guilty for making her feel bad.

With legs that felt heavier than my heart, I climbed the couple of steps to the main door of the wooden building. There were a few people buzzing around inside the reception area. I looked back out the door. I could see the ocean, foamy waves churning and crashing onto James Island, the ancient burial ground of our Chiefs long dead.

"Don`t even think about making a run for it." A serious voice came from behind me.

"Hey Sam." I said meekly as I turned around to face him. He looked so disappointed. Annoyance and guilt struggled for dominance inside of me. Why is it that when I fuck up I fuck up bad?

"Come on. You`ve got work to do." He ordered, not even bothering to say hello.

"What am I supposed to be doing?" I asked, trying to match the speed of his stride, but Sam seemed determined to keep a distance between us, like I was some rotting fish or something.

"You`ll be doing social visits."

"Huh?"

"We are assigning you an elder to visit and keep company. Do chores for."

"Okay." Didn`t sound so bad. Old people tended to like me a lot. "Who?"

"Mr. McBride." Sam said solemnly.

"Old man McBride?" No! Please not him! He was the crankiest old boot on the rez. A real loner. Even the dogs were scared of him.

"Mr. McBride." Sam stressed, looking a little smug.

"Fine. So...what now? I mean. Is he here? Am I supposed to bring him home or something?"

"He`s at home. He doesn`t leave his house anymore. I`m going to bring you there as soon as we collect his meds and pick up some cleaning stuff."

"How long to I have to stay with him?"

"Four hours every Saturday and Sunday. Doing whatever needs to be done basically. You can cook right?"

"Yes. I suppose I`ll be making his meals too." I grumbled.

"You are. You will be helping out an old man Sonia. Some one who can`t get by as well as they used to so be more conscientious. Would you rather be scrubbing out the fishing boats?" Sam asked angrily.

"Whatever punishment you deem fits my crime." I answered back cheekily. Sam looked boot faced.

"You could have been hurt." Sam said.

"Well I wasn`t."

"You could have been! We were all so worried. Jacob was frantic! Your mom too! Edward is the enemy."

"So why are you helping him?"

"Helping him what?"

"With Bella Sam."

"Jealousy is really ugly Sonia."

"I`m not jealous of her!"

"You are. I can get why though. You...you don`t need to do stupid things to get Jacob`s attention. I know things haven`t been good with the two of you for the past couple of months, I know things are hard right now, but believe me, Jacob thinks about you all the time."

"He has a funny way of showing it. Showing Bella off around the rez like some prize." I said bitterly.

"You are the prize. Anyway Sonia. I thought you told Jacob to give you some space."

"I did."

"But you didn`t really mean it."

"I did mean it!"

"You were never this insecure before. Bella has nothing on you."

"Jacob seems to think the contrary."

"I`m going to give you some advice. You can listen or not, that`s entirely up to you. You are obviously still in love with Jacob, no point trying to deny it. Jacob...Jacob is still confused about his own feelings though, having Bella around constantly is dredging up old memories, old feelings. What I`m saying is, Christ this is difficult, what I want to say is to just...let it go."

"Let it go?" I asked in a whisper. Sam knew. Jacob doesn`t love me anymore. Hearing it from another person...oh God...

"Sonia. I`m being honest with you. Realistic. You can`t force love. No matter how much you love someone...how hard you want them to love you back...you can`t force their heart."

"But I`m his imprint." I said a bit pathetically.

"You are." Sam said gently. "You will always be. But I don`t think now is the right time for the two of you. It`s not the right time for romance. Jacob...Jacob should have never started that type of relationship in the first place. He loves you Sonia, so much. He desires you and he wants you, but he is still in love with Bella. It`s something you can`t change. Jacob just has to grow out of it."

"Yeah, so...we need to get some meds right?" I asked in a daze. Sam looked at me like I was nuts.

"You heard with I said right?" He asked carefully.

"I heard you...believe me. I heard. Not much I can do about it now right? I just have to...leave him be. With Bella."

"I`m sorry."

"Don`t be. It`s okay. It`s all cool. Hunky dory." Oh God Oh God Oh God. It felt as if my heart had shattered into a million tiny little pieces. A sense of horrible loss washed over me. Loss and acceptance. I never truly believed it until I heard it come from Sam`s lips. Jacob doesn`t love me.

"I`m sorry if I was a bit rough on you. It`s the truth though. Jacob should have been man enough to tell you instead of just letting it hang in the air between the two of you. You deserve much better Sonia."

"How can I...how can I get over this if I`m stuck here all the time?"

"That was your mom`s decision. I can`t do anything about that."

"I don`t mean that. I mean...forget it. So. Mr. McBride."

Sam drove me out to Mr. McBride`s place just on the edge of the rez. It was an old house. One of the small wooden ones they used to build that nowadays it would be classified as a shed.

"Why doesn`t the council move him into one of the new ones?" I asked Sam.

"He refuses to leave it. I had a look around before. No heating. The roof leaks in places. But I suppose he`s happy here. Content."

"What if he refuses my help?"

"He won`t. He needs some companionship."

"Thanks for making me feel guilty Sam."

"I didn`t mean to. I know he`s gruff. Just grin and bear it."

"Okay."

"I have some food Emily has made in the trunk. It should last him a couple of days. But from now on you`re responsible for his grocery shopping."

"Okay...lets get the show on the road." I said as Sam parked the car and unload two huge coolers full of food. Sam rapped on the door.

"Mr. McBride?"

"Who is it now?" An agitated voice came from inside.

"Sam and Sonia."

Mr. McBride came to the door. His skin was a sickly grey color and his hair was snow white. Bent over, he walked with a craved walking stick. The place smelled like old. Old wood, old furniture, old people. Musty. Damp.

"Tell those fussy old women down at the council that I don`t need any help."

"This is Sonia. She is going clean and cook. Nothing more. If you don`t like her then we can find some one else." Sam spoke calmly. Mr. McBride studied me with his beetle black eyes. Funny that for a man so old, his eyes looked so young, alive, not clouded or yellow like other old peoples.

"Sonia. You seem familiar."

"Maybe you knew her grandmother. Hannah Mara."

"Used to be Hannah Uley? I knew her. Died didn`t she?"

"Eh yeah...two months ago almost." I said awkwardly. Sam looked like he wanted to flee.

"But`s that not why you seem familiar. Who was your father?" He questioned. Still not letting us into his house. I looked at Sam before I answered.

"Robert Gleeson." I answered dumbly. I hadn`t said that full name in a long time. It sounded so alien coming out of my mouth.

"The boy who robbed the bank?" I cringed inwardly.

"It was a gas station." I defended. Bank sounds so much worse.

"Humpf. So they send the bastard daughter of an armed robber to clean my house and steal my things? Go away! Both of you!" He sooed us away with his hands and made to close the door but Sam stuck his giant foot in so he couldn`t. Both men looked so angry.

"We are not going anywhere until you apologize to Sonia." He said threateningly.

"You can`t tell me what to do young man. Don`t think I`m intimidated by your height and your girth." Mr. McBride pointed at him with his walking stick.

"Apologize!" Sam growled.

"It`s okay Sam. I should really get started you know. I don`t know if my four hours started when he opened the door or when I get to cleaning." I said calmly, opening the door and brushing past Mr. McBride and into his dark house.

"Where do you think you are going young lady?" Mr. McBride blustered. Clearly shocked.

"Sam. Can you get the rest of the stuff from the car?"

"Sonia. You don`t have to stay here!" Sam said.

"I want to. I have to see what valuable things there are for me to steal you know."

Both Sam and I were shocked to find that Mr. McBride started to laugh.

"You have spirit. I`ll give you that."

"Sonia. Come on. We can find another elder who will appriciate your help more."

"I like this one. He`s honest. They will all be thinking the same thing you know. Just afraid to say it out loud."

"If you`re sure."

"I am."

"You can stay for today." Mr. McBride said, walking over to a mouldy old arm chair and collapsing into it. "Just don`t disturb me when my show is on or you`re out on your ear."

"Yes Sir." I said, winking at Sam, who was shaking his head and smiling.

The house, as I had guessed, was a mess. Not so much with dirt, but with the general state of it. It was leaky, cold, and smelly. In the kitchen, when I was cleaning out the cupboards, I discovered and old flask. When I opened it the biggest mother fucker of an ugly centipede came crawling out onto my hand. I vomited outside and onto the grass. Mr. McBride kept to himself in front of the TV. Every so often he would pop his head into the tiny kitchen to see what I was up to.

After three hours, with Herculean effort, I got the kitchen ship shape. Well almost. I scrubbed away all the years of dirt and grime. Washed all the pots and pans, plates, cutlery until they gleamed. Threw away all the out of date food. And re-potted the window plants. Defrosted the fridge, and when that was done, stocked it up with Emily`s meals. Overall, I was pretty satisfied with my work. It kept my mind from wandering to Jacob. Keep busy is the best solution.

"Humpf." Mr McBride came shuffling into the kitchen in his worn slippers, looking around.

"Happy with it?" I asked, eager for praise.

"You left a huge mark on the window, and the cupboards still look dirty." I was shocked when he shuffled out again. What the fuck? I went to the window and saw a tiny streak, not a huge mark! And the cupboards needed a fresh coat of paint, no amount of scrubbing could make them as good as new again.

Muttering mutinously to myself, I refilled the bucket with warm soapy water and decided to tackle the bathroom for my last hour. Stupid old man! You would think he would be happy with someone cleaning his house for free! I instantly felt guilty though, for my horrible thoughts, when I saw the bathroom.

It was small, dingy. Mr McBride had his washing hung on a make shift line over the bathtub and some shirts and jumpers soaking in the sink in smelly water. Under the mirror, on the shelf was a comb, an old tin mug with an ancient toothbrush, a rusted razor and a tin of old brillcream.

My heart bled. How could I have been so cruel about a defenseless old man? It looked as though he was trying his best to take care of himself but the years were getting to him. I sighed as I let the water drain from the sink. He doesn`t even have a washing machine. I decided to do whatever laundry he needed doing over at my place in the future. For my last hour there I hand washed his clothes and satisfied that I had rinsed them well, hung them up to dry.

"Mr. McBride?" I asked, when I heard Sam`s car pull into the drive way.

"Humpf?" He responded, not taking his eyes off the news channel.

"I`m going now."

"Humpf."

"There`s food in the fridge and wood by the back door."

"Humpf."

"See you next week then."

"Humpf."

"Humpf." I responded back and left.

"So, how`d it go?" Sam asked sceptically.

"Alright I suppose. Didn`t give me any hassle."

"Do you want to go back to him next week?"

"Strangely enough, I do. I mean, I know he`s a grumpy old man but..."

"You feel sorry for him." Sam finished, smiling a little.

"Yeah, I do. He has no one. He`s all alone. You should have seen it Sam. That place is so cold! He washes his clothes in the sink! He should be taken better care of."

"The tribe doesn`t have that much money Sonia. Plus, he has refused to be moved a lot of times."

"I suppose."

"I understand though. It`s hard seeing a person live that way. But, it`s his own choice."

"Yeah."

"Come on. Buck up. You can relax over at my place now."

"I have a load of homework to do." I said sullenly.

When we got to Sam`s I camped out at the kitchen table to do my homework. Quil and Embry wandered in and out. Being polite and not overly friendly. Emily was forgiving. She understood what I was feeling, what I was going though. She piled me with quiche and salad and even helped with my maths.

"Hey Emily, hey Sonia." Both of us looked up and over at Jacob. He was followed in by Sam and Paul.

"Hey girls." Sam said.

"Hey!"

Emily jumped into Sam`s arms and they started to make out, which was gross. Bitter that I couldn`t kiss Jacob, I concentrated on my Spanish homework.

"Can I talk to you." Jacob asked, sitting beside me. I ignored him.

"Please Sonia." He asked again. "It`s important."

I looked up at Paul, Emily and Sam looking at me expectantly and a bit awkwardly.

"Fine." I got up and went outside. Jacob followed me out.

"How did your mom take it."

"You already know." I said bitterly.

"Listen...I know what Sam told you today." He looked shifty and quite guilty. "And I want to set the record straight. I...me and Bella. Today...we decided to get together."

"Get together?" I asked, starting to get scared. I swallowed down a hard lump in my throat.

"I mean...we are going out now." He said carefully. NO no no no no. This can`t be happening.

"As in boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yes. We are dating now."

"No...no! She`s going out with Edward."

"They`re finished. She came to her senses."

"What...what about us? We...we are imprinted." I felt like I was having a heart attack. Panic was kicking in. This couldn`t be happening! It can`t be happening.

"You will always be my imprint. I`ll always be there for you Sonia."

"I hate you! I HATE YOU!" I screamed at him. "You`ve ruined my Goddamn life!"

"Stop it! You broke up with me!"

"I did! But I never gave up on you! I never stopped believing in you." I screamed.

"You cut me off."

"I needed time! You could have waited." I wailed.

"I`m sick of being punished by you. I make one mistake and you make me pay by ignoring me for over two months!" He growled.

"You hurt me!"

"And you don`t hurt me?"

"Because you hurt me!"

"It`s done Sonia. We`re done."

"No. No! You don`t get to decide when we`re done!"

"Only you can? Bullshit!"

"Then go! Go then! Go to her. Do whatever you want. I`m done caring. But she`ll hurt you though. You know it. And I hope it hurts bad. I hope it cuts you open like a fucking knife!"

"She won`t Sonia." Jacob said, shaking his head.

"She will. You know it too. You`re such a fucking loser. Taking that train wreck on. Good luck. You want me to hate you? Well you have it. I hate you. So go fuck your frigid bitch and feel good about it. I am tired of waiting for you. So, I am going to go out and fuck as many men as I can and feel just as good doing it." He grabbed a fist full of my hair and my arm. I cried out in pain.

"If any man touches you I`ll swear I`ll kill him!" Jacob growled into my face.

"Let go of me! Stop it!" I screamed, clawing at his face with my nails.

"JACOB! LET GO OF HER!" I heard Sam growl out. I was instantly released.

"You have no fucking right to me Jacob! No right. I`m not your property!" I bellowed before running off sobbing. No no no no. It has happened. I had never truly believed that it would happen. I was always so sure, despite my insecurities, that me and Jacob would end up together.

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	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33. Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks so so so so so much for all your great reviews from the last chapter! You are all great. Anyway. Here`s the next part. Sunday there will be another chapter or two. Anyways, remember to review at the end. It makes the chapters come quicker and better. Happy reading.**

I`ve had it. Fuck him! Fuck the whole lot of them! Every one of them can eat shit for all I care. Fucking hypocrites! The bunch of them! Sam, Quil, Embry, Jared, Emily and Leah! They all had to know! They all knew! They betrayed me as well as Jacob. I hate them. All of them! Fucking liars! Fucking freaks!

I furiously wiped away my tears and tore through the woods and onto the main road to head home. Jacob was seriously twisted. Why was I dealt this hand of fate being imprinted on by him of all people. Why couldn`t it have been one of the nice ones. Like Embry for example. I had always preferred him over Jacob and Quil. He was the cute one and the funny one. Jacob fucking Black. With a heart as black as his name it seems.

"Sonia!" I heard Sam yell after me. Fuck him! Mr. Nice Guy. I ignored him and kept on walking. My tears of anguish dried up until I was left with a fury slowing smoldering to life inside of me. I heard him running up behind me and I turned and faced him full on.

"What Sam? What?" I snapped.

"I`m sorry about the way that turned out."

"You are are you? Well, I don`t need your fucking apologies and I don`t need you!" I turned and started walking with renewed vigor.

"You are not supposed to be out on your own. Jacob`s gone, come back to the house. I`m sure Emily can make you something..."

"My problems can`t be solved with a stupid fucking muffin and a valerian tea Sam! I`m going back to my house! I`m never setting foot in your shack again!"

"I wasn`t the one who hurt you Sonia!"

"You did hurt me! All of you did! You all knew what was going on and none of you had the balls to tell me. Bros before hoes I suppose. Tell me I`m wrong Sam. I fucking dare you."

"We knew. I admit it. But it was not our place to tell you. You are Jacob`s imprint."

"I`m not his anything! You all act like I belong to him. This isn`t the middle ages. It`s the 21st century. If you tell me to get over it again I`m gonna rip you a new one."

"I didn`t mean it like that! Sonia...just...talk it out."

"Talk it out. And then what? Come to some sort of arrangement? I get Jacob during school hours and Bella the rest of the time? Give me a break. I`m done with it."

"You can never be done with it."

"How do you know? The imprint can never be broken and all that malarkey. Jacob`s my soul mate. So what? That doesn`t mean I have to sit around pining after him."

"You can`t be away from him Sonia if you are thinking of running away."

"Running away? You think I`m that pathetic? If I want to go I will tell you. I`m not a coward."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Live Sam. I`m going to live. Jacob has sucked the life out of me. I suppose I should send Bella a thank you card. Now I can do all the things I planned to do before he ruined my life."

"She will never hold him. He`ll come back to you."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? I should wait it out? Like a good little girl just twiddling my thumbs waiting for my one true loves return? Fuck that shit. I`m gonna get over him. I`m gonna make something of my life."

"It`s more complicated than that. This is no normal break up. You know it."

"Yeah I know...that`s why I plan on getting some normality back into my life."

"Listen Sonia..."

"I`m done listening. Why won`t anyone listen to me? Why won`t any of you take my feelings into account? I`m finished with this! I`m finished with Jacob and I`m finished with the pack! Don`t worry, I won`t leak your secrets to anyone. Just leave me the hell alone to get on with my life!"

"So you would abandon us? Cut us off too?"

"It seems like that doesn`t it? Why should I torture myself being reminded of the person who broke my heart? Why should I be around him and his little girlfriend if I can help it?"

"We can work something out."

"Why is this so important to you Sam?"

"Because you are like the little sister I`ve never had. Not only that but you are part of us. I feel protective towards you. I`m sorry I didn`t lay it out straight about Jacob but I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought he would come to his senses. Why tell you months ago when Jacob was starting to fall for you? Why tell you when you lost your nana? It would have been heaping more shit on your plate. I know I did a cowardly thing. We all did. It was a mistake. No one is infallible Sonia. Least of all me."

"I just need to deal with this in my own way. Talking won`t help Sam. Just let me get on with my life. It`s the only healthy thing to do. Jacob has made his decision. I`ve made mine."

"What is your decision Sonia?"

"I am never taking him back. Ever!"

Sam walked me home and we didn`t speak the whole time. He insisted on waiting until my mom came back to tell her what had happened. I heard them from my bedroom. My mom started to shout about Jacob and Bella and how he is never coming near me again and if she ever saw Bella how she would give her a piece of her mind. When she came in to check on me I pretended to be asleep. I didn`t want to talk to her. She was so mean to me before. I honestly feel like I don`t have a friend in the world that won`t judge me.

When I was sure that my mom was asleep I got up and turned on my desk lamp. I needed to come up with a plan of action and I had a few ideas mulling around in my head. Ripping a page from my notebook I began to write.

Step 1: Let Jacob do whatever he wants. He`s a free agent and so am I.

Step 2: Get back into dance class. Guilt trip mom if needs be.

Step 3: Diet and workout. I`ve been eating too many muffins.

Step 4: Find a dance company or programme and audition.

Step 5: Look sexy as hell.

Step 6: Find and fuck another guy. Robbie?

Step 7: Kick Bella`s ass.

Step 8: Juilliard.

All in all not too ambitious. Folding up the page I hid it inside my wallet. I made a vow to myself to look at it every morning when I woke up and every night when I went to bed. I would tick all of these goals off my list. I can do it. I just need to get my act together. I put on my pointes and sat on my bed admiring them. I loved ballet. It was my passion. The one thing I was good at. I am never ever going to give that up.

When I got out of my car at school the next morning I bypassed Jacob, Quil, Embry, Paul, Seth, Collin and Brady with out a backward glance and flounced off in my tight ass jeans towards my real friends. Ollie was dozing in his car and Bernie and Chris were copying each others homework.

"Hey guys." I greeted brightly.

"Hey Sonz. Nice outfit." Bernie said with a hug.

"Sup Sonz." Chris said, looking at my chest a little.

"I`ve been trying to get through to you all weekend." Bernie exclaimed.

"I`m grounded. No phone." I told her.

"Seriously? Why?"

"I snuck out and met a guy. Then, Jacob ratted me out to my mom."

"Ooooh. Seriously uncool." Chris shook his head and looked over at Jacob and his gang, who were, by now, watching us.

"Seriously." I nodded in assent.

"Jerk!" Bernie yelled over my shoulder at him, then her face changed. "Oh God he`s coming over." I rolled my eyes.

"Bernie." Jacob said nastily from behind me.

"Jacob. Who was the girl I saw you kissing yesterday on first beach? I knew it wasn`t Sonia. She was too pale and had no ass." Ollie had come out of his car by now and stood real protective beside Bernie.

"None of your business!" Jacob growled.

"It was his new girlfriend Ollie. Right Jacob?" I said sweetly, finally turning around to face him. He looked haggered. Older it seemed.

"That`s right." He answered, looking down at me.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"To apologize." He grumbled.

"Oh? For what?" I asked innocently.

"You know what." He stepped in closer.

"Fuck off Jacob." I said bitchily. Bernie and Chris giggled.

"Take a hike Black. You`ve fucked over Sonia one time too many...dog." Ollie spat. Dog? Jacob`s face changed from anger to shock. He and Ollie stared the other down until the bell rang not ten seconds later. Did Ollie know something?

"That was fucked up." Muttered Chris.

"Sure was." I muttered back.

"Hey Bernie." I held her back a little and let the two guys walk ahead of us.

"Yep?"

"I know you have cousins over on the Makah rez. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What?"

"Remember that Robbie guy?" I asked hesitantly. I saw Jacob stop his heated conversation with Embry and Paul and look over at me.

"The older one. The cute one?" She asked, full of glee.

"That one. I want you to help me find him." I said. Giving Jacob a defiant stare. I saw a muscle twitching in his strong jaw.

"I`ll do what I can!" She said excitedly. "Shit Sonia. You can do light years better than Jacob anyway. Maybe he was good to start out with but he`s...a bit...toxic don`t you think?"

"He`s toxic waste. I need a man now." I caught Jacob`s eye again, he looked furious. "Time to move on I think." I smirked at the expression on his face before heading off to class with Bernie.

"You`re playing with fire Sonia." Embry said quietly as he took a seat next to me in maths. We were both in the dumb class and the teacher wasn`t too interested in what we did and who we talked to during it.

"Am I?" I asked, taking out my homework and opening the text book.

"You are. Jacob will kill him." Embry whispered furiously.

"Kill him? Oh God! Really? He would kill another human being?" I asked with mock concern.

"Sonia! I know that it`s..."

"Hypocritical?"

"Yes. But...being who we are. We are territorial. Jacob would go on the rampage if you sleep with another guy."

"We`ll see."

"Don`t be so stupid. Take this seriously! I know it`s unfair. I`m pretty angry at him for treating you the way he does. But we do have anger problems."

"Go to anger management then!" I snapped.

"Jacob can morph into a giant fucking wolf! If he smells sex on you...shit Sonia. I don`t want you or some other guy to get hurt."

"Jacob won`t hurt me."

"What about when he grabbed you outside Emily`s? That was just a taster."

"Then what do you expect me to do? Let him screw Bella while I remain celibate for the rest of my life? Give me a break!" I scoffed.

"No. Just...don`t use sex as a weapon against him. You`ll just hurt yourself in the long run. You are worth more than that."

"I`ll do what I want."

"Go on then. But when the shit hits the fan don`t say I didn`t warn you."

"I won`t."

"I`d like to say that Jacob never set out to hurt you but..." He picked up his head and listened for a couple of seconds before muttering 'jerk off' under his breath. "I`m sick of defending him. The whole thing with Bella is just crazy. I`m convinced there`s something more going on there on her side and on the leeches. When Edward called you...it was the day that Jacob wanted to ask you to get back with him."

"What?" My mouth went dry. Embry nodded sadly.

"He was so pissed. Then Bella...comforted him. Told him that she had fallen for him. He...fell for it. The shit she feeds him about you. Real insidious you know. He fell for it. Jacob needs to feel useful. Like he can help his girl. Like he`s needed. You are so tough Sonia. You`re too proud. With Bella he feels like he can actually help her."

"So it`s all my fault again." Fuck sake. This was a lot of information to digest.

"No! It`s not your fault! And it`s not only Jacob`s too! Although he caused nearly all of it. Crap! If I had a girl like you, I`d never let her go. The fact that Jacob can get so crazy over the mere thought of you sleeping with another guy goes to show you that he isn`t over you. There is no way he ever could be."

After school I went straight home and started on dinner and homework. That morning I had told my mom out straight that there was no way in hell I was being baby sat over at Emily`s. To my surprise my mom agreed with me and told me that she was just too angry to think straight the other day.

When she came home from work she gave me back my phone and said I could get my job back if I wanted to. I told her that I wanted to stick with the elder programme but wanted to remain in dance class.

In the end we made a compromise. If I kept my grades high she would pay for more classes during the week. I told her it was a done deal. I could strike one thing off my list now. After dinner I got a call from Bernie.

"Sonia! I found him!" She said joyously.

"You did! That`s great!" I bounded into my room and shut the door.

"Robbie Tallchief. He`s friends with my cousin Vinnie. He`s single too!"

"This is too good to be true." I gushed excitedly down the phone.

"I know right. So anyways, here`s the plan. Next Saturday we are going down to the Makah rez for a bonfire. He`ll be there and you can seduce him and then let me watch you guys have sex." She giggled down the phone.

"Why do you get to watch me have sex when I haven`t seen you and Ollie in action?" I laughed.

"All in due time sweetie. God this is so great. It`s like a soap opera."

"I wouldn`t go that far."

"What are you going to wear?" Bernie asked. "Can I do your hair?"

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	34. Chapter 34

**Hey guys! Chapter 34 is here! Hope you enjoy it! What is going to happen next? Anyways, hope you enjoy and thanks so so so so so so much for all your wonderful reviews. You are awesome!**

******Happy reading and remember to review at the end. It makes the story better you know!**

"I don`t know Sonia. You seem to be pretty torn up about Jacob still. I think it`s too soon to be moving on to another guy."

My mom and I were out shopping in Port Angeles before my ballet class. She was feeling pretty guilty about being so mean to me before so she was trying to it up to me by being super nice.

"I need it mom. Jacob is with Bella. Why should I wait around?" I argued, picking up a royal blue sweater and examining it.

"It`s foolish to rush into another relationship too fast."

"Jacob and I have been broken up for the past two months! He`s moved on, why shouldn`t I?"

"You are just doing this to spite him. It`s not fair on the other boy."

"I was in the beginning...but now...not really. I want to move on. I want someone to love, to have fun with. I don`t want to be with Jacob any more."

"You still love him though!"

"I know! I won`t ever stop loving him either." I said sadly.

"It`s a mess I know. But I don`t want to see you get hurt again."

"I don`t think anyone could hurt me as bad as Jacob did. But I need this! I need to move on."

"I understand, but I still think you are rushing this. You don`t need a man to validate your life."

"I know I don`t. I want to do other things too. Why not date casually? It`s fun."

"Humm. What if this Robbie guy is not interested?"

"Then he`s not interested."

"He has the same name as your father. Weird isn`t it."

"How long did it take for you to get over dad?"

"A long time. I don`t think I am actually. Robert was the love of my life."

"Was I the reason your relationship got screwed." I was always afraid of asking my mom that question. She looked at me shocked.

"NO! Don`t ever think that Sonia! You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. We were too young to have a child. I`ll admit that. I was only your age, think about it. Imagine yourself with a child."

"I can`t. Not now."

"I`ll admit that after you were born, I couldn`t give Robert the attention I did before. He couldn`t handle being a dad. The pressure got to him. Nana and pop-pop never approved of him. Thinking back now...they were so hard on him. Criticized everything he did or tried to do."

"I know nana never liked him."

"She blamed him for getting me pregnant." She said with a little laugh. "Robert loved me. I loved him. We thought that love was enough but...we learned the hard way."

"Why did he rob that gas station?" I whispered to her.

"For the money. He...he started dealing...to earn extra money. Things were pretty tight back then. I told him drugs was a bad idea but he didn`t listen. Something happened, a deal went bad and he was left with no drugs and money owed to his suppliers. I suppose he was desperate." She said sadly. "He told me that me and you were better off without him in our lives. He loved us. He never thought he was good enough. Even now." To my surprise my mom started to cry a little.

"Come on mom. It`s okay."

"It isn`t Sonia. I let mom poison me against him. It is the one thing I have never forgiven her for, and myself for that matter. And for you...to grow up without a father. Thinking that he never cared. Robert may have been a lot of things...but he wasn`t heartless." She composed herself and took the blue sweater off me and draped it over her arm along with the other things she was buying for me. I knew she was finished talking for now.

That was a lot to take in. I had always thought, by the way nana spoke about dad that he was just a deadbeat who didn`t give a shit about me or mom. I wanted to forget about all the memories I had of him so I didn`t have to live with the pain of a dad who had never loved me. But here was mom telling me that he did. She was telling me things that made me think about nana in a different light. A not altogether too good of a light.

"I think I`ll skip class tonight mom...this is a lot...what you told me."

"I`m sorry baby. Please don`t hate me."

"I could never hate you mom! It`s just...sad...too late." I murmured, thinking about my now free dad who was living up in Alaska. I tried to picture his face but all that came up was Anthony Kiedis for some strange reason.

"Lets me and you have dinner in a nice fancy restaurant?" My mom said brightly. "We can order lots of fancy things then try and make them again at home?"

"I`d love that! Girls night! We can watch movies when we go home too."

"Pretty woman? Or Mermaids? We can wear face masks too!"

We both giggled and left the shop when my mom insisted on buying a beautiful top for me to wear when I go the Makah rez tomorrow. She was on my side. She always will be. We both came to a halt when we saw who were walking towards us.

"There they are." My mom said bitchily. I must have gotten my bitch abilities from her. Jacob and Bella were walking hand in hand. She looked like a dwarf in comparison to his height. Her big brown eyes grew wide in shock as she physically placed herself behind Jacob.

"Mrs. Mara." Jacob greeted awkwardly, trying to take his hand from Bella but she held firm.

"Ms. Mara. I was never married." She corrected him. "You have some nerve."

"I`ve done nothing wrong." Jacob defended, red faced and guilty looking.

"Really? Breaking my daughters heart is doing nothing wrong?"

"Come on mom. He`s not worth it." I tried to drag her away.

"He isn`t Sonia. I`ll tell you this now Jacob Black. If you ever come sniffing around my daughter or try to sabotage her life again you`ll have bigger problems on your plate than vampires!" She hissed, pointing a ringed finger at him. "Come on Sonia. I`m sure the restaurant will be able to find us a table if we get there early enough."

"And for you princess." She stopped as she passed them and squared off with Bella, who looked terrified. "Don`t think for one minute you have anything on my Sonia. A lot of people might be fooled by your butter wouldn`t melt in your mouth act but I`m not. Try and hurt my daughter again and I`ll be on you like white on rice."

"Mom! You are such a bad ass!" I said in wonder. She was smirking to herself and strutting a little. Shit she was the most awesome mom ever!

"You had to get it from somewhere baby girl." She said, flicking back her long black hair and grinning.

"Act cool. Don`t be all over him when you see him. Vinnie told me that he doesn`t like girls who seem too eager or slutty or dumb." Bernie advised me as we drove to the Makah rez along with Ollie.

"Thank God I`m not any of those things so I should be safe." I laughed.

"You are totally slutty!" Bernie play corrected me.

"Can`t change that. Did Robbie really ask about me to Vinnie?"

"Yeah! He told Vin about some really hot chick over on the Quileute rez who`s mother scared him away with a rolling pin. Said that he had never met a girl like you."

"Oh My God!" I squealed, red faced.

"I just hope he`s better than Black. He`s such a boring loser!" Ollie piped in.

"You`re right." I agreed, feeling like I was betraying him a little but soon snapped out of it.

"I look okay?" I asked Bernie.

"For the millionth time YES! God!" Wearing my new white chiffon top my mom bought me and skinny jeans I felt a little dressed up. To compensate I wore my brown moccasins and parka. I left off the make up too except for mascara and some lip gloss.

"Sorrryyyyyy. Ohhh...I`m so excited." I gushed, jumping on the seat.

"Good. I hope Robbie actually has something interesting to talk about." Ollie said smiling. He sure did hate Jacob with a passion. I was beginning to wonder if Ollie knew something about the pack but for the sake of not giving anything away I didn`t bring anything up. Ollie didn`t either but he was making a lot of insinuations lately. Calling them a "Pack", "freaks" and "Dogs". I tried to laugh when he said them but I knew he saw it in my face that I knew it was more than a joke.

We got to the beach when it was just twilight. The air was a mix of smoke and salt and I had never felt more excited. Was I pinning too much on Robbie? Was I building him up to be the answer to all my dreams of getting over Jacob? What if I didn`t remember him correctly? What if I made him out to be cuter and nicer than he actually was?

"Hey Bernie!" I heard a guy shout out. It was Vinnie, just a year older than us we were casual friends.

"Yo Vin!" Ollie shouted out, taking Bernie by the hand and heading over to him near the fire. I followed them carrying a bag full of chips and soda, too nervous to look around for Robbie.

"Dude!" He greeted Ollie.

"Bernz, Sonz." Vinnie hugged the both of us and then we all sat on the sand.

We started to talk about nothing and everything. Vinnie kept on giving me knowing looks and winks which made me blush scarlet but didn`t mention Robbie yet. Bernie must have told him to play it cool. I was starting to get a bit impatient though.

"Hi Sonia." A familiar voice came from my left. Robbie! Oh God Oh God!

"Oh Robbie! Hi!" I said brightly. He held out his hand to help get to my feet and I took it. I knew I shouldn`t compare his and Jacob`s hands but I couldn`t help it. It felt nice, strong, but it didn`t feel right. He held my hand for a couple of seconds when I stood up before letting it go.

"Great seeing you here." He said. His dark, red-brown skin glowed in the firelight. His smile and dark eyes were illuminated beautifully. I felt my heart skip a beat just looking at him. He looked kinda like Michael Greyeyes.

"You too. I`d like to say it was a surprise but..." I left it hanging and we both laughed a bit.

"I was debating getting in touch with you again after your mom ran me off your property but last I heard you had a boyfriend."

"I did."

"As in past tense?" He asked hopefully.

"Past simple. Not anymore." I smile bashfully at him.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure."

We left the bonfire and walked down the beach. Our arms kept on brushing but neither of us moved away. It felt so nice. No normal and so natural. So unforced.

"What have you been doing with yourself?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Working and studying. Looking after my dad too. He had a stroke a month back."

"Oh no! I`m so sorry."

"It`s okay. It was mild. But he can`t get around as well as he used to. My folks are divorced and mom has another husband to look after so it`s up to me to take care of him."

"It`s a good thing what you`re doing."

"Thanks. He`s my dad after all. He wiped my shitty ass when I was little so I guess I should re pay him a little." We both laughed again. "And what about you?"

"This and that. Busy with school. Busy with dance."

"Ballet right. I remember Vinnie telling me."

"You asked about me?" I ventured, blushing.

"To be honest...yeah. When he told me you were coming tonight...You have been in my mind a lot since then. I had always wondered about you. What you were doing."

"Me too." I lied a little but it was a white lie.

"Why wait so long?"

"My nana died and I had a lot on my mind since then."

"Wow. Sorry about that. When did she die?"

"Just two months ago."

"Were you guys close?"

"She practically raised me with my mom. So yeah...we were close."

"Sorry."

"Don`t worry."

"How did it happen?"

"Heart attack." Caused by me but I wasn`t going to tell him that.

"Rough."

"Yeah...let`s talk about something different."

"Sure...sure. So Sonia...would your mom kill me if I tried to take you out for a date again?"

"No she wouldn`t."

"Cool. I didn`t get the chance to woo you the first time round so I`m counting on second time being the charm."

"Woo me? I know you are older than me but I didn`t figure you were that old!"

"You know what I mean."

"I`d love to go out with you, if you want."

"Course I want. There`s something special about you...not just because you are beautiful but...I dunno how to say it without sounding corny." I could see him blushing in the moonlight.

"Thanks Robbie. I think you are pretty special yourself."

"So...you wanna go on a date with me?" He asked hopefully.

"I`d love to. I already said so before."

"Just confirming. Oh man!"

Robbie insisted on driving me home that night. We starting talking about Game of Thrones with turned into a full blown discussion on who was the best character. For me Daenerys was the best but for Robbie it was Jon Snow. That lasted for over an hour.

I was beginning to get freaked out as we entered La Push. What if Jacob saw me with Robbie and heldtrue to his word he would kill him. Was I really putting him in danger? I looked over at him. His strong jaw had the subtlest hint of stubble. I wondered what the would feel like against my cheek. I checked that thought as we came onto my street. No one was there.

"So, next friday? Can I take you out?"

"I`d love it. I have ballet class until eight. So after?"

"Perfect. Do I need to ask your moms permission first?"

"No. I`ll tell her."

"Cool." He looked at me steadily for a long time before leaning his head in towards me. Feeling as though my hammering heart would leap out of my chest I lent in and brushed my lips gently against his. He smelt amazing. Not wanting to take it too far I pulled back.

"That kiss was short but it was sweet." He smiled, cupping my cheek.

"Just a taster." I whispered as I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door.

"See you next Friday."

"Next Friday." He smiled happily.

I waved at him as he drove away. Smiling to myself I rooted my keys out of my bag.

"So that was Robbie."

I yelped and clutched at my heart. Out of the shadows emerged Jacob. His eyes flickered in the direction which Robbie took to leave.

"Leave him be Jacob." I snarled. "You hurt him and I`ll never forgive you."

"You kissed him...I saw it..." His voice was deadly calm. It was scary. His face was scary. Eyes that were now pure black were filled with a quiet fury were burning into me.

"I`m...I`m happy for you Jacob." I couldn`t believe the lie that left my mouth. "Why can`t you be happy for me?"

He didn`t answer me. Just looking at me with a red hot anger he brushed by me and stalked off into the night.

"Don`t hurt him Jacob!" I called after him. "Please...I begging you!" I ran after him but he had already disappeared into the woods.

"Shit!" I cried. I prayed that Jacob wouldn`t go after Robbie. I am such a selfish bitch for getting him tangled up in this shit.

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	35. Chapter 35

**Hey guys. Chapter 35. That`s it for today until tomorrow. Thanks so much for your reviews and your kind criticisms. I know I have been making Jacob super horrible but I promise you! there is a reason. **

******Anyways, happy reading. Hope you enjoy.**

"Sonia!" Billy looked shocked as he opened the front door.

"Hello Mr. Black. Is Jacob in?" I asked, peering inside the house.

"Yes, but he`s asleep. Come on in, we can talk." Billy looked so happy to see me that I momentarily felt softened by his presence.

"Listen Mr. Black...I can`t stay long, I need to be at Mr. McBride`s house in a while."

" Just for a cup of coffee then. Come on. Just a couple of minutes."

"I just needed to talk to Jacob about something."

"Go wake him up then. I`m sure he`ll be happy to see you." Billy smiled and I looked incredulous. "I just realized how that sounds. Go ahead Sonia."

"Thanks Mr. Black." I went down the small hall and stopped at Jacob`s closed door and took a deep breath before going inside.

The room was in darkness, and it smelled like heaven. So Jacoby that it made me a little weak. It took a couple of seconds before my eyes grew accostomed to the dark. I could make out Jacob`s huge sleeping form on his bed. I tip toed over to his bed stand and switched on the lamp.

I looked down on his sleeping form. He was curled up on his side looking totally beat and utterly adorable. I almost forgot for a second how much I hated him and was sorely tempted to just snuggle in beside him. I sighed and sat down on the floor, not really knowing what to do. I really should wake him and give him a piece of my mind. Looking at his face... I realized how much I was still in love with him. I didn`t want to be with him though...I was still hurting, and he was with Bella now.

There was something under his head that looked strangely familiar. It looked like one of my pillow cases! Ever so gently I hooked my finger in and pulled it out from under his head. He groaned and shifted his position but didn`t wake up. It was. It was my pillow case. The flowery ikea design was unmistakable. Maybe it was Bella`s? Somehow I didn`t think so. Poking out from under his bed was a photo of me and him, taken from before we got together, in front of Emily and Sam`s place. I pocketed the picture and gently shook Jacob.

"Wake up!" I said, beginning in a whisper. I got a grunt in reply.

"Wake up Jacob. I need to tell you something." He stirred again, grabbing his crotch and smiling. Oh dear lord in heaven.

"Wake the fuck up fuck face!" I shook him some more.

"Sonia..." He blindly threw an arm out and pulled me into him. Urghhh! NO!

"Jacob wake up!" I wailed, struggling in his unrelenting hold.

"Mmmm...I`m dreaming aren`t I?" He mumbled, with one large hand now going to caress my lower back. Shit!

"No! You`re gonna have a helluva nightmare if you don`t let go of me!" I started to trash around more now, jumping and kicking him. "Let go!" I screeched.

"Sonia?" Jacob opened his eyes fully and looked at me in shocked disbelief. He let me go slowly and I hopped off the bed and stood as far away from him as I could. He eyed the pillow case on the floor, grabbing it hastily and shoving it under his pillow. I decided I wasn`t going to call him out over that. "What are you doing here?" He asked, not sounding angry. He sat up on the bed and smoothed down his hair and corrected his boner.

"We need to talk Jacob, and we need to make this quick. I need to be somewhere soon."

"Where do you need to be? With Robbie?" He asked with no emotion.

"No, not with Robbie. But he`s the reason we need to speak."

"Oh?" He asked, standing up and putting on a pair of jeans.

"I want to make a deal with you." I hope this will work. Jacob looked at me slit eyed. He thought I was up to something.

"What sort of deal?" He demanded.

"I won`t bitch out you and Bella if you promise to leave Robbie alone." It came out all rushed and desperate.

"What`s the matter? Your little boyfriend can`t defend himself? You afraid of him getting hurt?" He taunted.

"Against you, you know he can`t. He doesn`t deserve to be hurt."

"No way. He shows his face on this rez again and I`ll..."

"STOP IT!" I screeched, punching him on the chest. "Why are you so impossible? What the hell do you want me to do?"

"NOT SEE HIM!" He yelled right in my face.

"You don`t have the right Jacob! You`re seeing Bella!" I accused. His face hardened.

"Yeah...because the girl I wanted gave me the cold shoulder for too long." He accused back, pulling on a t-shirt this time.

"You could have waited...but it seemed you were happy enough to go jumping back into her arms."

"You`re right. I got sick of waiting."

"You`re with her. You...love her. I get it...then why are you doing this to me?"

"What the hell am I doing to you?" He asked quietly now.

"Please Jacob...please promise me...you won`t hurt him...if I promise not to see him again...will you promise me you`ll not kill him...please...p-p-please..." I choke sobbed out, clutching at Jacob`s t-shirt. "He doesn`t deserve to b-b-be hurt...please promise me..."

"Sonia...stop it...it`s okay...please, it`s okay." Jacob wrapped his arms around me and rocked me gently, back and forth. "I won`t hurt him...I promise I won`t. I was just angry when I said it."

"Then why did you say it! Why did you scare me like that!" I released myself from him and wiped my tears away.

"You know why I said it! The thoughts of someone else...kissing you...touching you..."

"You are so selfish. You`re a selfish jerk!"

"I know I am." He whispered, hanging his head.

"Why are you the only one who gets to be happy? Why won`t you let me try?"

"Because I`m selfish. I can`t help it when it comes to you."

"That`s a poor excuse."

"I won`t hurt Robbie. If you think...if you like him that much...I could never hurt you by hurting him. I promise you." He looked so pained, so full of regret, that with his eyes he easily communicated all his feelings to me.

"You swear." I pressed.

"I swear it. Hand on my heart." He placed his right hand over his heart and smiled weakly.

"Right then...good. I promised you I won`t bitch out you and Bella anymore so...I`ll stick by that."

"Sonia...don`t leave yet. Please."

"Why?"

"Just...I know saying lets be friends has gotten kinda old with us but...I miss you. I miss having you in my life."

"I miss you too Jacob. But maybe in a different way to you missing me." I whispered at the floor.

"Please...don`t hate me." He begged. "I love you Sonia...I swear that too. I can`t stop hurting you and I don`t know why! Everything...I know I`m a selfish dick. I just...I need you near me. I can`t make you happy...I want to so bad and I don`t know how! I`ll keep out of your`s and Robbie`s way. It doesn`t stop me being jealous though. Just don`t think the worst of me." He begged, dropping to his knees and burying his head into my abdomen. I hesitantly placed my hands in his hair.

"You should have been honest with me before Jacob. But it`s too late for that. What`s done is done. You...you have the one you always wanted. You know I love you...and want the best for you. If you love your imprint you will want the best for her too, don`t you think?"

"You`re right. I`ve hurt you long enough. It`s not fair on you. Demanding you don`t see anyone else...who am I to say that? I`m the least deserving guy in the world." He got up and rubbed his thumb across my lips, seemingly lost in thought. That felt so good and so right that I wanted to weep again. I was surrounded by him. Only him. Everything else seemed to vanish until all I could feel was Jacob`s thumb on lips and his hand slowly tilting my chin up. Warm breath fanned across my face as he moved in closer.

"If I don`t stop myself now..." He said in a strained voice. "I won`t be able to stop ever." He made no effort to pull away though. He was leaving the choice to me. Do I pull away or do I move in closer. I pulled out and away from him, trembling and shaken by the experience. No man could ever make me feel like he made me feel.

"I need to go now. I`m late." I said in a daze, fumbling with his door handle and fleeing his bedroom. I ran out of the house and drove as fast as I could away from there. Oh God! Oh Shit! Jacob...ah crap! No one could ever compare to him.

Getting to Mr. McBride`s house, I threw myself into scrubbing the bathroom and then to cleaning out his bedroom. He was just as grumpy as ever today.

"Girl. Why are you all teary eyed?" He demanded, while I stacked chopped wood next to his back door.

"I`m not. It`s nothing."

"Humpf. It`s a boy ain`t it?"

"No!"

"Humpf. You are a bad liar."

"Okay."

"What`s this boys name anyway?"

"There is no boy!" I stressed, as I cover the wood with some plastic then weighed it down with some bricks. Mr. McBride just stood in the door giving me a stern look. I sighed then rolled my eyes. "Jacob Black." I muttered.

"Jacob Black. Jacob Black. The new Chief?"

"We don`t have Chiefs anymore!" And if anyone was Chief it was Sam.

"Humpf. He is the Chief. Or his father is then. What`s a little bastard like you doing with the son of a Chief anyway?" I had to laugh at him. Bastard daughter. Always.

"None of your business."

"You pregnant girl?"

"WHAT! NO!" This old man is unreal!

"He break your heart?"

"Something like that." Just shut up old man.

"What family you from anyways? If you are from the same clan as him you can`t marry."

"We don`t follow that rule anymore. Not since...a long time ago."

"Humpf. The Quileutes have lost a lot of their ways." He gazed out into the woods.

"Seems so."

"Wolves seem to be howling more often don`t you think. Seems to be more of them."

"I didn`t notice." I said as I came inside and tried to light a fire in the kitchen fire place.

"So this Jacob Black." Mr. McBride pressed, causing me to become increasingly annoyed. "He`s a good man?"

"Overall yes. But nobody is perfect I suppose."

"Only a very special girl gets to marry the Chief. You are easy on the eye but I don`t know if you are strong."

"Jacob is not the Chief and we are not getting married." I growled.

"Ho ho ho. Got a temper have you? Easy girl. You don`t know who you`re shouting at." He gave a strange weezey laugh and pottered back into the living room. Crazy old man.

I eventually got the fire going and sat on a low wooden stool warming my ice cold hands. I looked around the kitchen. It seemed the more things I cleaned or fixed the more I found that needed to be done. This place should be demolished. How could he live here and not die of exposure? I was broken out of my thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Who in damnation is that?" Mr. McBride`s angry voice boomed from the living room.

"I`ll get it."

"Send them away. I don`t want more fuss pots telling me what to do."

"I`ll tell them." I said warily, opening the door.

"Jacob!" Just leave me alone already.

"Sonia...I need to tell you something." He looked agitated.

"Who`s that? Tell him to go away." Mr. McBride ordered. I stepped out onto the porch and shut the door behind me.

"What are you doing here." I asked. I was kinda glad to see him though. I felt warmer.

"Listen." He pulled me away from the porch and down the drive. "There is more vamp activity going on. We have chased at least four from our territory and killed two of them."

"Holy shit!" I must have looked scared, Jacob placed a large warm hand on my shoulder.

"Promise me you won`t leave the rez or go out into the woods. Warn your friends too. We are not taking any chances. Promise me Sonia!"

"I promise...I won`t." Shit I was scared. "Why are they coming into our territory? They usually stay out."

"We think it`s because Bella is spending so much time here. Red has is figured out probably." Of course it all came back to Bella! Stupid bitch. Putting the tribe in danger.

"I know what you are thinking...but remember...she`s human."

"I know Jacob."

"When are you done here? I want to make sure you are safe home." He looked around, assessing how safe this place was.

"In an hour more or less." He nodded.

"I`ll send Brady to come home with you." Why not you I wanted to ask but bit by tongue.

"Okay, sure. What about Mr. McBride?"

"We are running the border. No one will be left unchecked or harmed. I promise you that. Stay safe Sonia." He said again, smoothing my hair.

"I will...I told you I would didn`t I?"

"I don`t mean to scare you but I..."

"Thanks for telling me. Now go. What`s the pack going to do without their best fighter?" I said. He looked at me strangely for a while before nodding and running off into the woods.

"Be safe Jacob." I whispered to his back. He stopped and turned, nodding at me again before disappearing altogether.

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	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36: Hope you guys enjoy! Thank you all again and again and a million times over for all your lovely and honest reviews. You really inspire me to keep on writing. Amazing is what you all are!**

******Anyways! Happy reading and I hope you like this chapter. A lot of questions are answered.**

"He`s kinda scary." Brady commented, as I drove us to my house from Mr. McBride`s. True to his word, Jacob did send Brady, about five minutes after he himself had left.

"Tell me about it. At least you don`t have to work for him."

"That`s true. But Sam can be scary as hell sometimes, Jacob too." Brady said, fiddling with the car radio.

"How is Jacob scary?" I asked innocently. I was curious. Maybe I could probe Brady for information.

"When Jacob is angry...it`s just...wow. We can all feel it. It`s like it becomes our anger too."

"What does he get angry about?" I pressed, offering him some chocolate covered peanuts. Brady grabbed the bag with a "Ah yessss" and proceeded to devour them.

"Lots of things. You sometimes...when you kissed that Robbie douche. When you met Edward...nah...mostly he`s sad because of you. Bella is the one that makes him angry...God she is such a bitch!" My brain was chanting INFO INFO DIRT DIRT!

"Why do you think she`s a bitch?"

"Cause she`s so clingy. Eurghhh are all girls like that?"

"No...don`t worry." I reassured him.

"The others think she`s leading him on. Jake even thinks so too a little. But she has put some sort of spell on him."

"If Jacob thinks she is leading him on then why is he going out with her?" I asked gently. I drove slower so I could squeeze more info from him.

"Cause he feels sorry for her. He wants her to live. I think he loves her a little too. Not as much as he loves you though." He offered me back the bag of peanuts but I shook my head.

"How do you know that?" Tell me more! I took a wrong turn on purpose and drove even slower than before.

"He thinks about you different than to her. Cause your his imprint and all but still... I just think he loves you more. He loves everything about you."

"Like what...in particular."

"Your eyes and how they are so dark and all that type of bullshit. He misses how tight your pussy feels too." I almost swerved off the road when he said that.

"Jesus Brady! Gross!" I swore at him, red faced. He just laughed.

"No biggie. You should hear Jared thinking about Kim...or Paul and Rachel!"

"I don`t want to hear that!"

"Sorry. Shared mind you know."

"Did...did Jacob...you know...do it...with Bella?" I stuttered out.

"Nope... that`s the weird bit too!" He suddenly sounded like a gossipy old woman. "Jacob doesn`t want to."

"He doesn`t want to?" Huh?

"No. Don`t blame him either. I mean she`s pretty and all but..."

"Brady!"

"You see, since he and Bella started going out, she doesn`t want to do normal boyfriend-girlfriend type things, like go to the movies or whatever. She just wants to have sex."

"Are you serious?" That was too strange. My mind started to work fast.

"Yeah! On Friday she surprised Jacob by waiting in his room for him naked." Brady burst out laughing.

"Oh my God!" What a slut. She totally stole my move.

"Yeah...she lit candles and everything. You are totally hotter naked than she is just to let you know."

"Thanks." I was thankful in a way. "Then what happened?"

"He couldn`t. He didn`t want to."

"Why not?"

"Because it wasn`t you. He was like 'fuck this is too nuts.' and told her to get dressed. He was like shit! What have I gotten myself into?"

"What do you mean Brady?" I took another wrong turn and drove towards the beach.

"He knew what a mess he had gotten himself into. He didn`t see it coming. It made him realize how much he wants you, how much he loves you. Seeing Bella naked made him see that he didn`t have any sexual feeling for her. Not anymore."

"Shit."

"Yeah. Now he really wants to break up with her but is afraid she`ll fly off the handle again or worse go back to Edward and become a vamp."

"He`s such an idiot!" I snarled. I fucking knew what her game was now! Eurgghhh!

"He`s not that bad. He keeps a picture of you in his wallet." Brady defended.

Brady left to run patrol when I got home and told me he`d tell Jacob I said hi. I totally knew what Bella and Edward`s game was now. It totally added up! Bella didn`t just magically come to her senses and realize Jacob was the one for her! She was practically suicidal when Edward left her the last time from what I heard. She wouldn`t just give him up! He was her ticket for becoming a vampire! Edward must have convinced her to pretend to have broken up with him to get Jacob to be her boyfriend. But for what reason?

I paced around the kitchen thinking. Why on earth would Edward want Bella with Jacob? Was it because Red was after her? Did he think she would be safer in La Push, constantly protected by the pack? If that was the only reason then why was Bella so desperate to have sex with Jacob? Jacob was totally hot and totally fuckable. But Bella didn`t seem like the type of girl to be so aggressive sexually. Think Sonia think.

I racked my brain. Did Edward give me any clue to what his plan was when I met him for coffee? I knew he chose that day and time because Jacob planned on getting me back that was for certain. What could Jacob possibly give Bella that he couldn`t?

Then it dawned on me. Physical intimacy...emotional warmth. Sex in other words. Edward didn`t want or was afraid to have sex with Bella. Oh my God it all made sense now.

They weren`t really broken up. They were still continuing their creepy relationship. Jacob was the only other man Bella was close to besides Edward. She is attracted to him. Emotionally attached to him. He is the perfect candidate! Use Jacob for the human sex experience until she gets changed! Fucking bitch! They planned it perfectly. I wonder how long Jacob could hold out before he caved in to Bella`s demands. Jacob wouldn`t do something he didn`t want to...I knew that. Brady said he didn`t want to.

Shit why was he so stupid to get himself drawn into it? Why did he always have to play the hero? How on earth was I going to broach the subject to him? Dammit! They picked the perfect time and all! With these vamps running round no way would Jacob leave her unprotected. He had too much heart to leave her high and dry when he discovers what`s happening.

What should I do? Tell him? Would he believe me over her? He had to! He needed to know. Feeling sorry for someone is no reason to be in a relationship with them. Shit! What do I do? Let him figure it out on his own? Let him get burnt? No...I loved him too much to want to see him get hurt. If he suspected that someone was doing that to me he would tell me...and hurt them.

Grabbing my cell from my coat pocket I dialed Jacob`s number. Please be in human form! Please please please! It dialed out. Shit! He was probably running patrol. All those vamps out there...if he ever got hurt I don`t know what I would do! If he got hurt because of Bella...I would fucking kill her!

I thought about confronting Edward but I if I left the rez I would be heaping more trouble upon myself. Confront Bella? Good idea, though she would deny it. She wasn`t just using Jacob though...she was using all of us. All the pack. This place...our land as her own personal safe haven. She was bringing leeches here that could kill any of us for something that never should of been our problem in the first place. Who should I call? I dialed again.

"Emily!" I said as level as I could.

"Sonia! Hey there! You okay? You know the news right?" I could hear her banging something and could easily imagine her baking something.

"Yes I know. More vamps on the loose."

"Yes that...but there`s more now. We found out about an hour ago." She sounded a bit nervous.

"What more?" Shit! I knew in my gut that it wasn`t something good.

"Well there`s..." I heard a lot of male voices in the background and a door being banged. "Sonia, Jacob and Paul are back from patrol. Do you want Jacob to tell you?"

"Put him on...please." Thank God he was okay.

"Hey...you`re home safe then. Brady is free from an ass kicking today it seems." He tried to sound light hearted but something was bothering him.

"He got me home safe and sound. What`s going on Jacob?"

"I don`t want to tell you over the phone." He mumbled. "Can I come over to yours?"

"Yes! Whenever you want. Just... I dunno...I have something to tell you too." I nervously said back.

"Be there in two minutes `kay."

"`kay. See you."

What was going on? More vamps for sure but...if Jacob sounded that agitated then something more must be going down. I took my coat off and hung it over one of the kitchen chairs. How would he take the news? How would I take his news?

"Sonia?" Jacob voice came from the back door. I scanned his body for any sign of hurt and sighed in relief when he looked just as perfect as ever.

"Come on in." I had so much nervous energy now that I couldn`t keep still.

"So the news..." He looked so grim. It must be bad.

"What`s going on?"

"Old Red has an army. All those murders in Seattle...it was her. She`s coming here with the newborns." He stepped in closer to me but didn`t touch me.

"Newborns?" I asked dumbly.

"A new vampire. They are the strongest and most bloodthirsty."

"And she has an army of them?" I confirmed. Jacob nodded his head. "Holy shit...she`s coming here." I muttered.

"They won`t get near you. I swear it."

"It`s not me I`m worrying about!" I wailed. "You...you and the rest of the pack...you`ll be fighting them. Oh no..no no no." I shook my head and fixed Jacob with a terrified stare.

"I`m not gonna lie to you! It will be dangerous. We could get hurt. But we are made to fight them! We are made to kill them!" He took me in his arms now, taking more comfort from me than I was getting from him.

"Jacob...promise me you`ll come back...promise me you won`t do something stupid!"

"I promise you. When did I do anything stupid?" He tried to make light of the situation but it just made me angry.

"Don`t do that! Please...I know this is what you are born to do but...don`t pretend you`re not scared...not for me." I begged. Jacob suddenly looked so sad.

"It`s times like these that I really need you Sonia." He looked like he actually might cry. "It`s now that I need your strength. I wish I had your courage."

"You have all the courage and strength you need. In your heart." Gosh I sound so lame but I really meant it.

"Lately it seems to have deserted me." He looked at me in pain.

"I believe in you Jacob. I always have and I always will."

"After the way I treated you? Still?" He whispered.

"Always. You know it`s there. Don`t be afraid."

"If you believe in me then...I won`t fail."

"You could never. You are a Quileute warrior. What leech could compare to you?"

"You really do know how to make me feel better you know." A hint of a smile played around his mouth.

"I`m glad."

"Are you really?"

"Yes."

"You`ll be safe here! I promise you. Both you and your mom...but I was thinking."

"What?"

"The fight is in three days.."

"THREE DAYS!" I yelled.

"Three days. You and your mom could get out of here...go on holiday or something...just to be safe."

"JACOB! Why the hell should I go away when me and my mom will be perfectly safe here in La Push?"

"Just in case."

"I trust you to protect me." I said angrily, crossing my arms. He grinned boyishly now.

"Good to know...so...what did you want to tell me?"

"What?"

"You said you needed to tell me something on the phone. Sounded important."

"Oh...I...eh..." I couldn`t tell him! Not now! Not with this fight coming up. He was fighting to protect Bella and La Push. If he learned that Bella and Edward were up to before then his concentration would be shot! He could get hurt or worse...he could get killed! He did love Bella...if his heart got broken now...

"Nothing important really, just wanted to see if you would like my duvet cover to go with my pillowcase." Quick thinking Sonia. Throw him off the scent. I giggled when he blushed horribly.

"I...uh...must have taken it by accident."

"Sure...well...if you change your mind."

"I was meaning to give it back." He said in a hurry.

"Okay. So..."

"We are having a bonfire tomorrow. Dad is going to tell the legends. I don`t know if you have heard them in a while."

"Not since...nana died."

"You`re coming right? It`s like a ritual to prepare us."

"Course I`m coming! Do I get to carry your shield and paint your face?" I half joked. If these were the old days the wife of the warrior was in charge of taking care of his shield. Since I was his spirit wife...

"If I had a shield you would be carrying it." He affirmed seriously.

"Is...Bella coming too?"

"Yes. It would be good for her to hear the legends. Why we are who we are." The tribes legends were sacred. I felt that Bella would dirty them if she heard them but...it wasn`t my place to say so.

"If you say so...I`ll have to ask my mom. I think I`m still grounded."

"I`ll get dad to call her. Listen...I need to go. Sam is doing his nut trying to get us all together."

"You better go then."

"I`ll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow. Stay safe."

"I will."

Before he left it looked as though he wanted to reach out to me but thought the better of it. Jacob was strong. He was brave. I believed he could hold his own against any leech but I couldn`t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen to him. The feeling of dread was ripe as I watched his broad figure break into a jog and disappear into the trees at the back of my garden.

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	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37. Hope you guys enjoy. I wanted to make it longer but I have to work and have little time for writing during the week. I will try and post the second half to this tomorrow or Friday. Thanks so so so much for all your lovely reviews. You guys are so kind. Hope this explains a little more about Jacob and Sonia. Happy reading.**

"Thanks for letting me stay off school mom." I told her as we ate breakfast.

"I understand...all this...stuff...going on." She said nervously. She was wearing her dental technicians uniform and looked so jumpy.

"Call in sick mom. Stay off. Please..." I begged her. What if some she got in some stray vampires path. "Tell them I`m really sick and you need to look after me. Just...don`t go. Don`t leave the rez." I clutched at her hand over the table. She nodded her head.

"I`m not leaving you alone here anyway...you`re all I have. If anything ever happened to you..." She choked up and put her hand over her mouth.

"Nothing will happen to me or to you mom. Jacob promised that we`ll be safe...I trust him."

"I hope your trust is well placed then. Why is this happening? Why now?"

"It all comes down to Bella."

"That girl!" My mom growled.

"The boys changed cause the Cullen`s stayed here too long. Jacob...is attached to her..."

"Attached? Sonia! They are going out! Dating!"

"You don`t have to remind me...but I have a feeling that...that Jacob...has come to his senses a little where she is concerned." I said carefully.

"Sonia...please...Jacob has screwed you over so many times. Don`t go rushing back into his arms because you think he will get hurt. He won`t die!"

"I`m not going to do that!"

"I know you Sonia. You love him. You are a typical Aries. Quick to anger and quick to forgive."

"I cusp on Taurus though." I muttered. "I can`t help that I love him."

"I know, but don`t let it blind you. I don`t want to see you hurt again. Maybe Jacob is regretting getting with Bella. Maybe now that he has gotten what he had finally wanted that he realizes up close that she isn`t what he imagined or what he needs. That`s his problem not yours. Don`t buy into this crap that he needs to get her out of his system before he moves on. That is not fair to you. You were straight with him from the beginning. He wasn`t! Bella was always in the background."

"Maybe now she`ll finally be gone."

"I hope so. She is nothing but trouble. How could a guy as nice as Charlie have a daughter like that?"

"Maybe she gets it from her mom?"

"I dunno but she is bad news! I hate girls like her! You know in the end they always get what they want and leave a trail of destruction and broken hearts behind them!"

"She is one of those girls isn`t she? But she hasn`t gotten everything she wants."

"What do you mean?"

"I`m pretty sure she`s using Jacob...for sex."

"For sex?" My mom spluttered. "So Jacob has had sex with her...he is a man after all."

"No...he hasn`t slept with her. She`s been trying to get him to but he won`t...because of me."

"You`re his imprint...I don`t really understand what that means but...you slept with him first didn`t you?"

"Yes." I admitted, red faced. I so didn`t want to talk about this with my mom.

"I remember your nana telling me something...when he had first imprinted on you. She was terrified you would jump into bed immediately with each other."

"Why?" I remember nana saying something about me being a virgin. She seemed upset about it.

"She said that if one of the imprinted is a virgin then they won`t be able or won`t want to have sex with another person who wasn`t their mate or something."

"We were both virgins."

"That explains it then."

"It sounds so cold."

"How?"

"Even if Jacob wanted to have sex with her he can`t. He just wouldn`t be able to get it up or something."

"You misunderstand me Sonia. I think what you and Jacob have, your bond, it goes beyond sex. It is something that, once found, changes you. For the better in your case. I think it is something that both of you don`t fully understand. You are both scared of it."

"I am scared mom. Ever since that day at school when he looked at me...I changed...I felt..."

"Complete?"

"More than that. I felt that Jacob...he called to me. He sang to my soul and it was the most lovely song I had heard in my entire life. I knew I would never have to hide from him. I wanted to give him everything I was to make him happy. I wanted to protect him and keep him safe. I just wanted him and it was the scariest thing I had ever felt. To look at someone you have gone to school with your entire life...someone you thought you knew...and have your world...your entire self changed...because you have found the one you were meant to be with. I`m still scared mom...I don`t know how to do this. It`s easy saying be strong and don`t give in but when he looks at me or when I know he needs me it`s too difficult to say no. It`s impossible...because I know deep down that in the end we are going to be together. We are going to be happy together. What`s the point in fighting it anymore? It is so clear...how can he not feel it too?"

"Oh Sonia...he imprinted on you. He feels it too I`m positive. I think...he`s just as scared as you are...more even. He`s frightened of his power...it musn`t be easy to handle. I know he`s scared. Jacob is complicated...I know he has issues. Like Rachel and Rebecca, he hasn`t come to terms with his moms death. Maybe he`s scared to get too close to a woman and have her snatched away from him. Perhaps that`s why he is with Bella. To save her. He doesn`t want to feel the same helplessness he felt when Sarah was killed."

"That must have been terrible." I whispered.

"Heartbreaking. Maybe he distances himself from you emotionally because if he ever lost you, it would destroy him completely. Self protection."

"You should have been a shrink."

"It`s plain to see, when you look deep enough. He has feelings for Bella, a form of attachment. He doesn`t want to see her die or worse, turn into the one thing he hates the most. He would be like he failed to save his mom again."

"I just wish I could help him, if he just opened up to me I would listen and not judge him."

"Imprinting is strange. It`s like you both know that the other understands, but subconciously. If this was any other guy you would have been finished with him now but...you say Jacob can`t stay away from Bella, in reality he can`t stay away from you, or you from him. When it happened...the imprinting I mean, you didn`t have any type of relationship. You weren`t even friends, he had no place in your heart. When it did happen, he filled your heart completely. You weren`t in love with anyone else I don`t think so for you it was clear from the first second. Jacob loved Bella...then he had this sudden rush of feelings for you. A girl he didn`t really know either. I will never justify what he is doing to you...never in a million years...but love is never straight forward. It takes time to get used to changes, especially one as big as imprinting, finding your true love."

"So what you`re saying is to just give it time?"

"Yes. Be there for each other but don`t go back to him until he has proved to you how much he loves you. He should come talk to me before trying to win you."

"Mom!" I giggled. "These aren`t the olden days. You would have him playing a courting flute and bringing meat to our house next."

"He has to show that he is worthy of you. Just because he imprinted on you doesn`t automatically give him the right to have you. Actions speak louder than words. Tell me...what has he done for you lately?" I rolled my eyes and smiled at the Janet Jackson reference.

"Protecting the tribe for one." I pointed out.

"For you personally Sonia."

"He fixed my car."

"That was months ago! When he realizes he how much he wants you then he will work extra hard to win you back. You are worth it Sonia. Don`t accept anything less than the best."

"I won`t mom." I left my seat and went round to her. Sitting on her lap I gave her a tight hug and a huge kiss on the cheek. "I love you mom."

"I love you too baby girl. It`s crazy, it seems like just yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital, wrapped up in a fuzzy pink blanket. You`ve grown up so fast."

"Why don`t you have another baby with Michael?" I always wanted a brother or sister.

"One step at a time with him, I just agreed to marry him you know." She admired the huge diamond on her finger for a while. It sure was a pretty ring. I got up and put the dirty dishes in the sink to wash them.

"You know you don`t have to wait for me to finish high school. Get married when you want."

"I want to wait for you to finish high school. It`s a bad time to move to Port Angeles...and I`m not that sure Michael would want to live here."

"What you think is right. You better call your boss and tell him you`re not going in."

"Baby baby baby oooohhhh baby baby baby ohhhhhh. Thought you`ll always be mine." I sang down to little baby Noah, who was gurgling happily in my arms. He was so gorgeous that he was edible.

I was over at Kim and Jared`s place, taking care of Noah so they could have some...alone time before Jared had to leave for the fight after the bonfire. I could hear the bed in their room squeaking furiously and had to stifle a snort of laughter as Kim`s moans of pleasure were getting louder and louder. God that was disturbing. Kim was my friend, I didn`t want to hear her sex noises. Jared`s were a million times worse, deep grunts, as he encouraged his baby to "go faster". Sick! Shudder!

Poor little Noah. You are sure going to have issues when you are older if you hear your parents going at it like that all the time. Poor baby.

"Ahh Noah...you are the cutest little boy ever! I love you...yeah...yeah..." I crooned as Noah looked up at me with big brown eyes and blew spit bubbles. "Ahhhh...look at you...what are you doing huh?" I said in a stupid little baby voice. I couldn`t help it though...he`s so cuddly.

"Looks like you`ve imprinted on Noah." A voice said from the window. Jacob.

"Nah...I think I`m in love though. Do you think Kim and Jared will let me keep him?" I asked, kissing his head of black hair. So cute. Jacob climbed in through the window.

"Maybe...sounds like they`re making him a new brother or sister in there." Jacob said as the squeaking and banging became faster. I blushed and shifted Noah, holding him to my chest.

"Poor little bean. You don`t need to hear that now." I breathed in his baby smell and smiled. I so hope my mom will have a baby soon. Jacob looked at me fondly, smiling.

"You like babies?" He asked. Coming over and stroking Noah`s tiny little hand.

"Who couldn`t resist their charms? You wanna hold him?" I asked.

"I`m afraid I`ll break him. He looks happy where he is."

"So...why are you here?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

"To see if you needed any help with Noah." Jacob lied.

"Oh...is that the only reason?" I pressed. Looking at him straight in the eye. Jacob smiled a little.

"To see you. I want to know how you are doing."

"Okay...all things considering. What about you? And Bella?"

"I`m okay `suppose. Bella is freaking out...Edward and I are taking her out of harms way, up in the mountains, leaving false trails around to confuse the new borns."

"Are you staying up on the mountain?" I asked, swallowing my fear.

"No, the plan is to take her up there tomorrow morning, set up camp, I`ll be staying there for that night just to make sure everything is okay, then the next morning me and Edward will leave to fight. Seth will be staying with her. Collin and Brady are staying put on the rez."

"Keeping the younger ones out of harms way."

"Exactly."

"Why is...Edward...camping with you guys?" I asked carefully. Jacob looked hard faced.

"To make sure Bella is okay I suppose."

"But if they have broken up then..."

"I know Sonia." He said forcefully. He knows?

"You know?" My heart began to thump faster.

"I know about the little conversation you and Brady had in your car." He said gently. "I know what he told you."

"I was waiting for you to find out about that. Don`t blame him...he`s just a kid."

"I don`t blame him or you. He told the truth after all." He looked out the window and then to the direction of the bedroom, Kim had let out a long wail of pleasure and Jared was growling with satisfaction. "Sounds like they are finished up in there."

"Jacob...if you feel as though Bella is leading you on then break up with her." I advised.

"What is she breaks down or something? I can`t do it now!" He looked at me in desperation.

"She is older than you! You are not responsible for her or what she does! Please Jacob...she is using you!" I can`t tell him! I have to let him figure it out by himself.

"That`s what everybody keeps telling me. I can`t see why though. I don`t believe she has it in her to be that cruel." He stated, shaking his head. I put baby Noah down in his moses basket.

"Believe what you want Jacob...just..." I couldn`t finish. Jacob turned to me and cupped my face.

"I have given up a lot to make sure she is safe. To keep her alive. I have acted like a fool time and time again just to make her see that being alive is something precious! Something that shouldn`t be taken for granted. If being with her is the way to do it then I`m gonna try."

"At the expense of us?" I clutched at his hands. He scrunched his face up, pained.

"I`m the biggest idiot in the world Sonia...there is nothing I want more than me and you. I`ve made the biggest mistake of my life and there is no way to fix it." He rested his chin on top of my head and pulled me into him.

"If you want me...break up with her...tell her it`s over." I whispered into his chest. His arms around me tightened.

"If I break up with her she`ll go back to Edward. She`ll become one of them."

"That`s her choice Jacob." He pushed me away when I said that.

"A stupid choice! I want her to live!" I whisper shouted.

"Don`t get angry! Not here!" I whisper shouted back. I went over to Noah`s basket and checked that he was okay. He was sleeping peacefully.

"I`m sorry...I..."

"Jacob." Jared`s deep voice greeted his pack mate from his bedroom door. He looked an odd mixture of utterly satisfied and annoyed.

"Sam sent me over to tell you that the bonfire is in an hour." Jacob informed him. Jared just nodded.

"We`ll see you and Bella there." Jared said rudely. Jacob nodded this time and turned to leave.

"See you guys there." He said, before closing the front door behind him.

"What a douche." Jared muttered, giving the closed door the finger. "Fucking Bella bitch."

"Why do you hate her?" I asked. Jared made an angry face and whispered.

"She called my Kimi plain. Plain! Can you believe that? I`ll show her fucking plain!"

It was cold as the sky turned a dark navy blue. We were gathered on the beach, the pack, the imprints, the elders, but missing Jacob and Bella. We took spots around the fire and we began to chat and joke. The guys, it seemed, were excited by the prospect of fighting so many vampires. Emily was over doing it by looking a bit too bright, but you could see underneath she was terrified. She never left Sam`s arms. Kim`s after sex orgasmic glow had faded. She was snappy and kept on casting Jared dark looks as he joked about with Paul.

"Fucking men!" She muttered to me. "They`ll be strutting next to show how manly they are!" I knew she was terrified she`d lose Jared. Theirs was one of the most romantic imprinting stories. She had been in love with Jared for years, willing him to take notice of her as she was way too shy to ever make the first move. For her it was and always had been clear, Jared was the only one for her. And Jared was fiercely protective of Kim. For him, after he`d imprinted, there was never any question as to whom he was going to share the rest of his life with. The way he looked at her, still, was the look of a man falling head over heels for the first time in his life. They suited each other perfectly. Jared was calm, intelligent and logical to the point of being Data from Star Trek: The next Generation. He was never over emotional, and the only one in the pack besides Sam who could completely control his anger. But Kim brought out his soft side. Kim was smart, so pretty and adorable, but so quiet with people she doesn`t know that it would take a lot of coaxing to get her to open up. From Jared she got confidence, from Kim he got the ability to show his feelings.

What did I get from Jacob? What did he get from me? I knew we gave each other headaches most of the time. I sat next to Mr. Black and Rachel and made polite conversation. Rachel looked so much like Jacob it was strange. She took my hand.

"Is there any chance you`ll give my idiot brother a second chance?" She asked hopefully.

"Once he quits Bella I`ll consider it." I told her gently.

"I think he already has...in his heart at least." She whispered to me, for we spotting one tall figure and the other short walking towards the fire from the road. They were standing at least a meter apart. I kept my eyes trained on Jacob as he came closer. His eyes, so dark, were full of a quiet pleading for understanding. I looked down at the sand then into the fire. It still hurt.

"We will begin." Mr. Black spoke with a voice so full of authority that everyone immediately fell silent and gave him their full attention. I gave Jacob one last glance before setting my gaze back on Mr. Black. He was watching me with an expression that was so full of adoration that I blushed.

"The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning. And we are a small people still but we have never disappeared. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn`t always the magic of shape-shifting...that came later. First, we were spirit warriors."

**Second half coming up soon. What will happen next? Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better and gives me so much inspiration. Besos.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38: Hope you guys like. I really really love that you guys like the story. Your reviews are amazing and so funny and helpful for where I want to take this. You are all great! Anyways. Happy reading and sorry for the long wait. I do have work and things that need to be done but writing this is a real stress breaker. **

However much I tried to keep my eyes on Mr. Black while he was telling our legends, they kept on turning back to Jacob. The fire cast shadows on his face but his eyes lit up his eyes to an intense golden brown. They were smoldering while they held my own, fierce, daring me to deny my own feelings. Daring me to let go and submit to this force of nature that was consuming my life at this moment and would consume me for eternity. Suddenly Mr. McBride`s words echoed in my head 'What`s a girl like you doing with the son of the Chief?' What is a girl like me doing with Jacob? Was I strong enough to handle imprinting? Was I strong enough to stick by him?

Every flicker of the firelight across his face made him look every bit the warrior he was. Brave, fearless, courageous. He was doing what he was born to do tomorrow. He would not fail. The way he was looking at me made me nervous. He was still, watchful. His face showing no emotion, his eyes doing all the talking. Yes he loved me. I didn`t need to be told that again. He would come back to me. Remembering Kim and Jared earlier made me ache with a longing I had repressed for too long. I missed him. I missed our physical intimacy. It wasn`t just the sex I missed or yearned for. I wanted to become one with him again. I wanted to feel him lose control in my arms. Feeling the ache build deep inside of me I dropped my eyes to the fire. Control yourself Sonia...Listen to Mr. Black. Ignore the feeling.

"Generations passed. Then came the last great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki. He was known for his wisdom and for being a man of peace. He was known for his wisdom, and for being a man of peace. The people lived well in his care. But there was one man, Utlapa, who was not content."

A feeling of dread I couldn`t explain set me on edge. Utlapa...I knew he betrayed the tribe from what I could remember but... that name... I wrapped my arms around my legs and hugged my knees to my chest. I felt suddenly unsafe. Staring into the flames I listened to Billy continue on with the story. I listened to know Utlapa wanted to use the spirit warriors powers to enslave the other nearby tribes, and how Taha Aki was angry at him for it.

"Utlapa had no choice but to leave. The furious outcast hid in the forest nearby, waiting for a chance to get revenge against the Chief." Billy continued. Old memories, bad memories fought their way to the surface of my mind. As I stared into the flames I could easily picture Utlapa plotting his revenge against the Quileutes. '...the whole tribe will deal with my wrath.' NO! NO! It was just a crazy, stupid nightmare. It wasn`t real! I gulped and forced myself to listen to more. The story went on but got unfamiliar in some places. Nana never told me about Utlapa taking Taha Aki`s body or taking liberties with the tribe. I listened on even though I didn`t want to listen to anymore. It was all getting too real...it was too raw.

"Being bodiless was disorienting, uncomfortable, horrifying. Taha Aki had been away from his body for too long at this point that he was in agony." Shit, why did I ever want to be a spirit warrior? Poor Taha Aki. Mr. Black started to talk about how Taha Aki asked to share the body of the big wolf. And how the rage his felt at his peoples oppression was too much for the wolf and how the wolf turned into a man. The first shape-shifter.

And so the story progressed. Taha Aki crushed his old body that was inhabited by Utlapa so his soul couldn`t jump out of it. I felt relieved at that. If the body was killed with the soul still in it then he would be in the spirit plain. He wouldn`t be haunting some cave out in the woods. The short relief swiftly turned back to nervousness. What if he jumped out in time? What if that`s why Taha Aki forbade the rest of the spirit warriors from leaving their bodies? Stop it Sonia! Don`t let your imagination get the better of you. It was just a dream...a dream Kim dreamt on the same night...of the same thing. I looked over at her. She looked so small with Jared wrapped around her. She was stroking his forearms and looking into the fire. Deep in though. We needed to talk about that...but some other time. I didn`t want to burden her with it now or in the next couple of days.

"In her Taha Aki found his true spirit wife." Mr. Black said. I was taken back to reality. The story of the third wife. My eyes involuntarily found Jacob`s again. He held my own. My heart was telling me to go to him...go to where I belong, by his side. Then we would be two halves that made a whole. I stayed where I was though, so did he. A movement to his left made me snap out of it a little. I almost forgot about Bella. She shifted closer to Jacob but he didn`t seem to notice, he stayed put, still holding my eyes, telling me not to look away. It felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest...why were we always playing these games with each other? Why were we so afraid of each other? We just keep on looking at each other. Letting our eyes do the talking. Telling the other what we were both afraid to say out loud. Sonia...Sonia...Sonia...

"Sonia!"

"What...what? Sorry...what?" I shook my head a little and looked over.

"Did you smoke something before you came? You seem spaced." It was Paul. He was smiling at me knowingly.

"No...the fire...I was just thinking." I stuttered out feebly.

"The fire...or Jacob?" He whispered in my ear before laughing loudly. Rachel shoved him and rolled her eyes.

"Don`t listen to him Sonia. He has some serious growing up to do." She said kindly.

"Ah babe. Why you gotta hurt me like that?" Paul pouted, using some weird cutesy voice that was totally gross.

"I better head home." Getting up and dusting off the sand from my butt and legs I glanced over at Jacob`s direction. He was talking to Sam but I caught Bella`s eye. She looked pissed, jealous. I decided to just ignore her. She would love it if I caused a scene. I understood now that she was no competition for me. She didn`t hold Jacob`s heart now and she knew it. She gave me the stink eye before taking his hand and giving me a smirk. Uggh she is such a loser. It amazed me how she could act so childish when she had an army of vampires coming after her. Then I became afraid. She was so dumb...so stupid...even with all this shit coming after her she had the ability to fuck things up more. If Jacob found out before the battle...no! Surely she couldn`t be that stupid. Could she?

"Need a ride?" Rachel asked me.

"Kim`s taking me...but thanks anyway." I smiled at her. Rachel was so lovely. So cool and in charge of herself. Paul was one lucky wolf. I mean...she`s a hot college graduate...and Paul was...Paul.

"I`ll see you tomorrow anyway." She said hugging me. I spotted Paul over her shoulder. He looked oddly jealous.

"Tomorrow. See you in two days Paul. Kick some vampire butt." I hugged him too. He had his faults but who didn`t? Overall he was a good guy. A worthy guy.

"Sure will. I would bring you back some vampire rock but that shit has to be burnt. You know they can reassemble themselves?" He gave a shudder before pulling Rachel into him for a long kiss. I decided that was my cue to leave them. Paul, Jared, Leah and Sam were leaving tonight to go train again with the Cullen`s while Embry, Quil, Jacob and the three younger wolves stayed in La Push to patrol. The next morning they would switch roles.

After saying my good lucks to the rest of the guys I left with Kim.

"You didn`t talk to Jacob." She said, driving towards my house.

"I didn`t need to." I stared out the window.

"I know he`s put you through hell but..."

"You misunderstand me. I didn`t need to because..." I couldn`t finish. I couldn`t find the right words.

"Your eyes said it all." Kim whispered, smiling.

"With you and Jared too?" I asked.

"For us too. Sometimes we don`t need to say anything...be constantly reassured about our love. It`s enough just looking at one another." She sighed.

"You guys are great together."

"Thanks Sonia. I had my doubts at the beginning you know." She laughed and pulled into my drive.

"Really?"

"Eh yeah! Gosh...I had the biggest crush on him for so long, but who would have noticed me? Shy mouse my dad used to call me. And then there was Jared. Even before he changed he was hot...impressive. The girls he used to date...I never thought I could ever compare."

"But you are beautiful and sweet and smart!" I said outraged.

"Thanks. You are too you know. Bella is so fucking jealous of you it`s unreal."

"Let her be."

"Exactly. Let her be. She doesn`t compare to you. Never can and never could."

"Thanks for everything Kim. I mean it."

"No probs. Gotta go now. My tits need milking and I`m sure Noah is missing his mommy."

"Give him a kiss from me?" I asked, getting out of the car.

"Sure will!."

"Night!"

"Night night."

I checked in on my mom before heading to bed. She was snoring away peacefully in bed which meant that she had knocked herself out with a sleeping pill. Poor gal. She was so worried. Maybe I should take one before going to bed? I didn`t want to be tossing and turing all night cause I was so worried. Sneakily, I shook one of the pills into my hand before carefully replacing them in her night stand drawer. I hope she doesn`t count them. Giving her a kiss on her forehead I tip toed out of her room and into my own.

I was reading Jacob wrong earlier tonight? Was I imagining everything? Sitting on my bed in my undies I sighed. I hadn`t spoken to Jacob the whole night. He hadn`t made a move to speak to me either. What if I never saw him again! Don`t be stupid Sonia! He`ll come back. He`s like a cold sore. Once you`ve had one it never goes away.

I was so certain that he would make the first move. That he would come to me tonight. That he would try to see me alone. No eyes on us. No one listening. Was I reading that wrong too? Have faith Sonia. He will come. You know he will. Feeling that strange pull that was a forewarning of Jacob`s arrival I hastily scrambled into my pjs. I knew it! I knew he would come! Tap tap tap. With a fluttering heart I opened my bedroom window and backed away so he could come in. A sudden bashfulness overcame me as I stared at my own feet. Neither of us spoke for a long time.

"You were never this shy before...one thing I`ve always loved about you is that you are so bold." Jacob said, stepping in closer to me. I swallowed and looked up at him, into his eyes.

"I don`t think I ever really saw what you really are until tonight." I whispered up at him. Confusion written across his face he asked.

"What did you see?"

"I saw you. All of you this time. The real you that you try to keep hidden. I saw the man that you are...not the boy."

"What type of man did you see?" He asked softly, his expression still serious.

"The warrior that you are. I saw a brave man. A man who isn`t afraid...to fight for what he believes in." I wondered if he picked up the real meaning of my words.

"You saw all that? What else did you see?" He took another step closer and he looked utterly determined. I lifted my chin up in attempt to look confident.

"I saw you asking for understanding."

"That is a lot to ask of you. I`m sorry." He stroked my hair and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"What did you see?" I countered.

"I saw you too. Perfectly. I saw what I have been afraid to see all this time." He bent down and kissed the top of my head.

"What was it?"

"Happiness. Pure, simple happiness." He murmured into my hair, wrapping his arms around me. I let him hold me. I couldn`t push him away. "After...after my mom died...I felt I could never be happy again...without feeling guilty. I saw what her death did to my dad...how he was torn up...he still is. If true love does that to a person then..."

"You didn`t want it." I finished for him.

"It`s the truth. I can`t lie to you anymore Sonia. I can`t deny you anymore." He held me tighter.

"Are you still scared?"

"Terrified...and you?"

"Scared shitless."

"I love you Bluebird."

"Jacob!"

"I love you Sonia. After the fight...after this mess is cleaned up...I`m gonna fix everything." He released me caressed my cheek. I took his hand and placed it over my heart again.

"I love you too Jacob. I know...I understand you need to leave...Promise me you`ll make it out of the battle in one piece."

"I promise. I`ll come back."

"I believe you."

Jacob slide his arms around my waist and lifted me up flush against him. The kiss that started out gentle slowly turned into one of hunger, one of need. I don`t remember us taking our clothes off but we ended up in a heap of limbs on my bed. Jacob asked me once if I really wanted it. I told him yes. The lovemaking was so natural. Like two halves we really did fit together perfectly. But this time it was different. Jacob was so gentle, so aware of me that it took my breath away. He kept his eyes on me throughout. Watching in love and not lust this time. I whimpered as his powerful strokes brought my building ache into an earth moving orgasm. One that sent waves of undiluted pleasure coursing through my whole body, sending my soul flying.

After we had finished we just lay there, unwilling to move or to break the mood. Jacob was softly stroking my back with his long fingers before letting out a frustrated huff of breath. I understood.

"You need to go.." I picked myself up off him and sat up.

"I need to go...I`m sorry." He kissed me before getting reluctantly up. "I made a promise to myself...before I came here...that I wouldn`t try anything...that I would control myself. I know...since I`m...with Bella that..." He sighed again and put on his underwear and cut offs. "I know that you are hurt, and mad at me. I know that this doesn`t mean we are back together as a couple. I need to prove myself a lot...make amends before you will let me back into your heart. Believe me Sonia. I don`t want you just for this." He sat back down and pulled me into him. "Tonight made me realize how much you are worth. This...what happened now...this should have been our first time. Not what I gave you before...not what I took from you." He lent his forehead against mine and stroked my cheek before getting up and going to the still open window.

"Jacob!" I called out, not wanting him to leave...not wanting to let him go now. He turned and waited for what I had to say. I couldn`t find any words though.

"It`s okay `kay. I`ll see you soon." With that he left. I hopped off the bed naked and watched him disappear into the night.

**Remember to review. It makes the story better you know. Besos. I know some of you will kill me for making them sleep together but... I needed to do it.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39: No Jacob happening here but a lot of girl time. Hope you guys enjoy. Another chapter will be coming up soon. I am starting another story from Jacob`s POV. So watch out for that. Also, thank you so so so much for all your lovely reviews. You guys are great! Happy reading.**

After Jacob had left I crept to the bathroom with the intention of washing the evidence of our encounter off me. Conflicting emotions coursed through me as I washed between my legs with a warm wash cloth. What we had done...it had seemed so right, so natural. Jacob was correct...that should have been our first time. It was perfect because this time...there was no question of to whom he loved. I swallowed hard and dried myself off. Why was I feeling so bad then?

I had let him back in and I had promised myself that I wouldn`t. Did I really have no respect for myself? But it wasn`t a question of self respect. What we did...we both needed it. I needed it as much as he did. I wanted it. It wasn`t about trying to win him back with sex. It wasn`t about opening up my legs because it was easier than saying no. It was about... crap...it`s about something too difficult to put into words. I looked at myself in the mirror under the harsh light of the bathroom. My eyes were sparkling, my cheeks flushed and a bit red from where Jacob`s stubble rubbed against them and my lips a bit bruised. I looked like a girl who just had sex. I still felt it. His heat still covered my body and my vagina still a bit numb. What happens when he comes back? That was the question that troubled me.

He told me he would make amends but how many times had I heard that one? He had said that what we had done tonight didn`t make us a couple again. That one made me nervous. What if it was just a one off before he committed himself forever to that little tramp? No... he didn`t mean that. He loved me. He loves me! After this was over he was going to let her go. I was sure of that. I wasn`t his second choice. Not now. Not after tonight.

Not wanting to sleep alone I climbed into bed beside my mom. For comfort I had unearthed my first holy communion rosary beads. I knew that they would have no effect if a stray leech found it`s way into my house but...in the movies vampires can`t touch or be near anything holy so...but this isn`t a movie. It`s reality. Cuddling up to my mom I tried to sleep but it was no use. It was all too much. How could I sleep peacefully knowing that the pack were out there risking their lives for us? What the hell could I do to help? Fucking nada. All I could do was worry. And worrying never helped anyone. Maybe I should pull an Emily and bake and cook myself into oblivion? I wondered what the other imprints are up to? I was closest to Kim...maybe because we were closest in age. Rachel and Emily had really hit it off and were now shopping buddies. They would be doing the same as me. Unable to sleep. Knowing what was headed our way...

I stared into the darkness and jumped at every little noise. The sleeping pill seemed like a good idea now. I was afraid to take it because... if I fell asleep I maybe I would dream of it again...

Fuck it. Utlapa was not in a cave in the woods! I crept out of the bed and into my bedroom. I spotted the sleeping pill on my bedside table and swallowed it dry. That should help. Crawling back into bed with my mom I cuddled her and felt sleep overcome me. I fell asleep praying that Jacob wouldn`t be hurt, and that the rest of the pack will be safe. I snuggled into my mom again and eventually fell asleep.

Awaking in a groggy haze I found that it was too bright in the room. Blinking a couple of times to get used to the light I shifted onto my side. Urrghh, what a fucking headache! Hearing music coming from the kitchen I sat up in the bed and rubbed my temples. The smell of frying bacon made me want to barf. Oh man...here it comes... I bolted from the room and into the bathroom and threw up. Holy hell! This it what stress and nerves does to you.

"Sonia. You okay in there?" My mom`s concerned voice came from just outside the door. She opened it a little and peered in.

"Yeah..I`m fine. Just feeling a little under the weather." I said, flushing the toilet and then splashing my face with cold water.

"Your period is not due yet is it?" She asked, rubbing the back of my neck. I thought.

"It should be due...I`ll check my calender." Numbers confused the heck out of me sometimes, especially when I couldn`t think straight.

"You`ve been taking your pill haven`t you?" Her voice took on an edge that got me on edge.

"Yeah...course I have." I mumbled. Have I? Oh shit...no no no.

"Show me." Crap! No mom!

"Yeah...sure." Please let me have taken it. Please God please.

She followed me into my room and I exhaled a big sigh of relief when I saw that I had. Thank you God. Thank you! My mom looked just as relieved as I did. She was too young to be a nana. And I was way too young to be a mommy. Plus, mine and Jacob`s relationship was way too rocky to bring a child into the world. I did want kids, I wanted a lot of them, just not now. I was way too immature. I was no Kim.

"Must be the stress..." I mumbled, casting a guilty look at my bed.

"I`ll buy you some condoms...and make Jacob use them!"

"MOM!"

"Just to be on the safe side."

"Please mom...I so don`t want to be having this conversation with you." I pleaded. She smiled at me before kissing my cheek and pulling me into a hug.

"I`ll get you some aspirin. But you have to eat something first. You are getting too skinny."

"I`m can`t stomach anything." I protested.

"Some oatmeal. That will settle you. Take a shower, you`ll feel better after that."

"Mom." I called after her when she was leaving my room.

"Yes sweetie?" She turned around and smiled. She looked a bit ill too. She was worried. Frightened.

"You take the shower first. I can fix the oatmeal for myself."

"You are sick Sonia."

"I`m feeling a bit better. You go. I don`t want you yelling at me for using all the hot water."

"If you`re sure."

"I`m sure. You go."

I pottered into the kitchen after my mom went to take her shower and went about fixing our breakfast. I put aside her bacon and made her some toast. My poor mom. She didn`t need all this shit. She didn`t need to look after me like I was a baby either. I am almost a grown woman now. Time for me to be more responsible for myself.

The oatmeal did settle my stomach a lot and the headache turned into just a dull ache behind my eyes. I wondered what the pack was up to. Training with the Cullen`s. How was that working out? Two mortal enemies coming together to fight a bigger evil. Would this be the path to peace with them? I didn`t know. When Jacob finds out about Bella and Edward`s little scheme then... There was no way. No matter how benign they were, the pack would never trust them fully. I had a shower after my mom. Putting the water to almost scalding hot as I felt so cold. Every so often I got a flash of emotions that were not my own. Fear for something, anger over another thing, feeling happy for no reason. They were not my own but they were in a strange way. They didn`t frighten me, they just...were there. Strange. Maybe... no, they were Jacob`s feelings. Jacob`s emotions. After last night, it seemed like our fate was sealed. We were truly bonded. Truly mated. Two halves put together again. I smiled remembering last night. Focus on the happiness, the love. If that gave Jacob more strength for tomorrow then I was going to help in any way I can. Imprinting after all is a two way thing. He felt that time I was terrified after the nightmare. No! Don`t think about that now! I needed all my strength for the next day and a half! The rest of the imprints plus Sue Clearwater and minus baby Claire were coming over here in a while. To do what I had no idea. Talk maybe, support each other as well. Tomorrow we would be heading over to Mr. Blacks place to wait for the pack to come back. It`s just two days Sonia...not months, not years. Be patient. Be strong.

My living room and kitchen seemed awfully quiet for all the people that were here. The only noises coming were from my mom and Sue cooing over Noah. Emily was twisting the fabric of her skirt around her fingers, Rachel was standing at the window with her arms crossed, staring outside. Kim was sitting upright on the sofa, looking at an unseen spot on the wall. I was perched awkwardly on the coffee table, inspecting my nails.

"I can`t take this anymore!" Kim stood up and ran her fingers through her long black hair. The rest of us looked at her in shock.

"What`s the matter?" Emily asked. Her scared face pale.

"This is the matter! We are sitting here like we are waiting for a telegram from the war office! They are going to come back! Christ... I have never been away from Jared for so long but... we need to be strong. There is no point in acting like lost little girls because our men are off fighting."

"She`s right you know." I pipped in. Standing up too. Why I stood up I had no idea. "If we are worried, and afraid, they will be too. They will feel it. It would put them off balance."

"That`s true. It`s just...I`m so afraid of losing him." Emily spoke into her lap.

"We all are. No point in denying it. But we have to be strong. For us as well as them." Rachel said, turning around and facing us.

"So what do we do?" I asked. We all looked at each other blankly.

"Talk about things?" Rachel suggested.

"Sounds good. I mean...if something like this happens again then...we have to learn to function on our own." I said. "How weird does that sound?" I giggled. The rest joined in. Eventually we were in stitches on the floors.

"Oh my God!" Emily gasped for air. "I`ve never been like this ever...never before Sam. I hate feeling so lost." She suddenly looked serious. "It makes you think about things."

"What things?" Kim asked.

"I`m too dependent on him...ever since, the accident. I mean...look at me!" She pointed to her scared face angrily, shocking us all into silence. "And with Leah...knowing that I`m the reason why she`s angry and hurt. I never wanted this for her..but I was too weak."

"You`re not weak Emily! You can`t control imprinting!" Rachel argued, looking cross.

"I`m too cowardly to even talk to her. To face her anger. I just hide behind Sam."

"Then step up Emily." I said. That was one big problem I had with Emily, she couldn`t face Leah.

"I should shouldn`t I? I mean, Leah`s out there, risking her life, having to hear Sam all the time...I need to talk to her."

"You should. Leah deserves it. Her feelings are valid. The guys just treat her like she`s a..." I stopped and looked over into the kitchen. Sue was listening with a hard expression, Leah is so like her it`s crazy.

"What do they treat her like?" Sue asked, coming into the living room. All of us girls looked to each other guiltily. Sue obviously had no idea.

"Emily. What do they treat her like?" Sue said, shifted the focus onto her niece.

"They give her a hard time." Emily whispered.

"They do do they? Have any of you tired to put a stop to it?"

"I`ve talked to Sam. He`s tired to get them to stop but..." Emily started but trailed off.

"Jared doesn`t do it anymore." Kim said confidently, taking baby Noah off my mom. He was beginning to cry. Kim sat down on an armchair and began to breast feed him.

"Leah never told me anything about this." Sue said angrily.

"Maybe she didn`t want to bother you with it Sue." My mom said soothingly.

"She`s my daughter! If she has a problem she should come to me!"

"It seems like she wants to deal with it in her own way." My mom argued.

And so on it went. Sue was furious. Emily started to cry at one stage. All in all it was awkward as fuck. Like watching a friends parents fight in front of you. You didn`t know where to look or put ourself. Kim got out early under the pretense of putting Noah to sleep. Rachel said she needed to call her dad. That left me and my mom to witness it. My mom finally calmed Sue down enough and brought her into the kitchen for a talk. I sat beside Emily and held her hand.

"It`s all my fault." She mumbled.

"It isn`t. You can`t place all the blame on one person. Leah needs to come to terms with her feelings and you and Sam can`t ignore them. It can`t be easy on her."

"I know it can`t. I..."

"Don`t say any more Emily. You don`t have to justify yourself being imprinted on to anyone. Just talk with Leah. You two can`t have the same relationship as before but just pave the way to something different. Don`t let Sam handle all her wrath anymore. It`s not fair."

"He`s just trying to protect me."

"Stop hiding behind him. You are a strong person Emily. Go out more. Stop heaping all this work on yourself because you think it`s justifying your role in the pack."

"I want to feel useful."

"You are. You don`t need to prove it with muffins though."

"I am getting sick of baking them." She laughed.

"They are delicious though."

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better. Besos.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40: Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for reviewing the last chapter! Again, you are all awesome. So. Here`s what happens next. Happy reading. **

I awoke the day of the battle filled with an undefined sense of dread. Was it women`s intuition telling me that Jacob was in danger? Of course he was in danger! They all were! But still...as much as I had faith in Jacob...as much as I was confident in his fighting abilities...I couldn`t shake the feeling that something bad was going down...right now...

Ever since our last night together I had been picking up on more of his emotions. Whenever his mood changed, I felt it. It wasn`t as though mine changed as well, I could just feel his too. Right now I was getting flashes of annoyance. What was going on?

Last night Brady told us that the fortune teller vampire that kinda looks like Pat Benatar said that the battle will take place at dusk more or less. So...today...what time was dusk exactly? When it started to get dark no? Oh God... Why was Jacob freaking out? I stepped out the back door and breathed in the cold morning air. Not caring if I froze or got wet in my nightdress I looked out over the woods and at the tree covered mountains. Jacob was somewhere up there. With Bella. The thought didn`t fill me with my usual jealously. Jacob was mine now. It was undeniable...it was the truth.

"Be safe Jacob...keep calm..." I whispered into the air. Feeling a dull pounding begin behind my eyes I turned and went back inside. I hadn`t seen Jacob in over twenty four hours...and it was beginning to get painful. It seemed that the longer we were away from each other the more the other`s feelings became more apparent. Well for me anyway. I would ask him what he felt when he got back.

From behind me I heard a soft whining. Turning around I saw Collin. His dark grey fur was unmistakable. He was standing between two trees and just looking over at me. What was he doing here?

Slipping on my moms gum boots by the back door I ran over to him. Skidding on the mud a little I came to a halt.

"What is it Collin? Is everything ok?" I asked nervously. He nodded his big wolf head and went on staring.

"Why are you here? Change back and tell me." I begged. What if something was the matter? He shook his head this time.

"Please..." I begged again, gently placing my hand over his head and rubbing his soft fur. He backed away and stood behind a tree. Morphing back into human form he hid behind the tree and said.

"Jacob sent me...he wanted to see you...to hear your voice for a minute." Collin sounded a bit put out and sulky.

"Oh..thanks Collin. You don`t know how much I appreciate that you came here...I`ll make it up to you."

"How?"

"Whatever you want." I said.

"Cool. I`ll hold you to that...Listen I really need to change back."

"Sure...sure...yeah..."

"Jacob loves you. He`s been thinking it all the time." He sounded grossed out. Well, he is thirteen after all.

"Thanks for telling me."

Collin changed back into wolf form and stood in front of me again. Jacob could see me...he could hear me...

"Stay strong Jacob." I said, feeling a bit weird. "And...I love you." Happiness flowed through my being...sounds like he heard it. I smiled a little.

"I`ll see you later." I added, and Collin nodded his head. "Thanks Collin." I patted his head and he wagged his tail before wincing and backing off. I got it. He needed to go.

"Bye Collin. Thanks again." I called after his retreating wolf form. Just a couple of more hours. Just a couple more... Then he`ll be home safe. Then we can sort out our relationship.

Before heading back inside I took one last look at the mountains. Somewhere up there he`s thinking about me. All I could do was wait.

Going into my bedroom I fished out the photo of the two of us that I swiped from his bedroom. There we were, two teenagers, bound for life and smiling at the camera. I was wearing a purple top I had forgotten I owned and Jacob was shirtless.

I remembered that day...it was the day that I realized how much in love I was with the dipshit.

It was the end of November. Just a normal day. Jacob and I went over to Emily`s after school. We were just there hanging out, doing homework when Jacob just gave me this look. A look that shook me. It hadn`t been more than a couple of seconds but...I knew then that whatever we had going on...whatever mockery of a friendship was never going to be enough for me. Then he went back to doing my maths homework for me, like nothing had happened. I remember that perfectly now. I got pissed later on because he left to see Bella not long after. Emily had noticed, so had Kim and even Claire. If they did then why hadn`t Jacob? I had thought. Two weeks later I had lost my virginity to him.

I placed the photo back on my night stand and stretched out. We can`t keep on playing these stupid games with each other. We had to start being honest. I knew I had my faults. I had a lot of them. Being a person that was so afraid of rejection I shut myself off emotionally and acted the bitch at any sign of something difficult. Looking back now I could see the signs of Jacob falling for me, of him reaching out to me and me pushing him away. I just hadn`t understood. Having those feelings for him, being in love with him, and then being so convinced that he wasn`t in love with me had made me crazy and jealous. Wanting him so bad had made me blind to the fact that we just weren`t ready. Wanting too much too soon had ruined it. Jacob could have told me the truth but he was just too fucked up to even know what the truth was. He could never hurt me intentionally. He was the perpetual good guy, he didn`t have the capacity for being malicious. In truth, I had expected him to hurt me because I saw it coming all along. It was as if I was confirming to myself my own feelings of inadequacy. Jacob had hurt me so much because I had let him, because I didn`t really understand him. I was so jealous of his love and need to protect Bella that I used it as a reason to blame him for everything that had went wrong. I just wanted him to love me and I didn`t really understand what love was or that he already did. But I understood now...and now we were going to take things slow.

At about three my mom drove us to the Blacks place. Being constantly bombarded with Jacob`s shifting moods I was jumpy and snappy. Crap! Couldn`t he just choose one and go with it? He seemed to be getting increasingly angry over something and it got to such a point that I was blinded by a hot white rage that made me almost want to jump out of my skin and kill something. I screamed and crouched over with pain.

"Fucking Christ! What`s the matter?" My mom pulled over and tried to hold me but I pushed her away roughly. "Sonia!" She sounded petrified. I felt fucking petrified. Oh Jesus...what in the name of all that is holy was that! Crap! I could still feel it!

"Mom..." I gasped, reaching out for her hand.

"What happened?" She asked again.

"Something...Jacob...he`s angry..." I wiped the sweat from my forehead and breathed in deep. He was so so angry...angry doesn`t even cover what I felt.

"How the hell do you know that?"

"I can feel it...I know it...he must have found out." That would be the only explanation. He would be up on the mountain still, with Bella and Edward. The shit must have hit the fan.

"Found out about what?" She questioned, not knowing what the hell I was talking about.

"I told you before that I thought that Bella was using Jacob for sex...well...I sorta figured out that she...she never broke up with her leech...that for whatever reason they want her to have sex with someone..."

"What on earth? Sonia...you told Jacob this right?"

"No." I whispered.

"Why not! For fucks sake! If he knew that someone was trying to pull one over on you then..."

"I know mom! He would tell me! But...when I understood...it seemed like it was too late! All this bullshit started!" I defended myself. Mom just shook her head.

"And now? Look what happened!" Her tone was cutting.

"I thought that if he found out before the fight then everything would get fucked up! That he would get hurt!"

"He would have known! He would have gotten his head around it and done what needed to be done! Finding out just before...that`s a million times worse!" She almost screamed which made me cry with shame. "Stop it Sonia. Not now! When this is over you are telling Jacob what you know. He`s a jackass but he isn`t bad."

"I wasn`t doing it to punish him!" I whined, wanting comfort from her. She sat up straight and started the engine back up. Looks like I won`t be getting a kind word from her anytime soon.

"Just...you can`t do anything about it now." She sounded worried and annoyed.

"If he gets hurt then it`s my fault." I sobbed.

"You weren`t the one who made him angry Sonia. If it`s anyones fault than it`s that girls. You should have told him. He isn`t hurt! So stop crying like he`s dying or something, he`s tough. He`ll come out of it without a scratch I can tell you that much." She stated. I wanted so bad to believe her but...

The quiet and the general stillness of the Blacks house made it seem that there was no mystical battle between good and bad going on between vampires and wolves out in the Olympic Peninsula. All attempts at conversation were abandoned after a couple of minutes between the imprints. We just stood around, too nervous to sit, and stared out of the windows looking for any sign of the men we hold so dear in our hearts. Every so often I wondered if they felt it too...their guys feelings. They must...Kim had such a Jared type look of concentration on her face, Emily looked oddly forceful and Rachel was scowling.

After the initial outburst of rage it simmered down into a black depression. Jacob was hurt...not physically...but emotionally. All because of her. That wimp hiding out on a mountain, useful for nothing but fucking up peoples lives.

What was happening? It killed not knowing. A fucking army of bloodthirsty vampires coming for just one girl? How the fuck was that...

"ARRRGGGGHHHHHH"

Collapsing into a heap on the floor I withered in pain. Oh noooooooo...no no no no no.

"Sonia!" I dimly heard several voices call out. "What happened?"What`s wrong with her?" It felt like the entire left side of my body had been crushed by something.

"Jacob...it`s Jacob..." With most effort I have ever put into anything in my life, I picked myself up and stood shakily. The pain... oh God. Jacob!

"What do you mean Sonia?" Mr. Black asked me, his face ashen.

"He`s been hurt...I felt it...somethings happened to him.." I knew it... I knew it before it even happened... It`s all my fault... He`s hurt because of me..

"You can`t know that!" Mr. Black argued, sounding frightened a little.

"She can!" Emily said. "Now...being away from them, we can feel their emotions and them ours."

"It`s true. Jared is worried now." Kim said quietly.

"Paul is terrified." Rachel pipped in, looking pale.

"If it`s true then..." Mr. Black whispered before trailing off. In the distance we could hear wolves howling...so many...so pained...so angry...

"Where`s Collin and Brady?" Sue snapped. "We will know from them!"

"Oh please...please..." Oh Jacob... you big stupid idiot getting yourself hurt...I burst out crying. Rachel took me into her arms and stroked my hair.

"He`ll be okay. He`s a Black. He knows how to survive. He`ll come back to you don`t worry."

"It`s all my fault...if he dies..." I was gripped my another crushing pain to my side but this time I held strong. He won`t die! He can`t! I won`t let him! Be strong Sonia...he needs your strength. He needs you.

"If he`s hurt then he`ll heal fast." Rachel said.

"He`ll get through this." Emily confirmed.

"He`s the strongest wolf. He`ll be good as new in no time." Kim pipped in.

"How long will it take for them to get back here?" My mom asked, taking my hand.

"About half an hour...but that`s running in wolf form."

"So...over an hour." Kim calculated. "There`s Brady!" She yelled.

Everybody ran to the back door and bundled outside. He shifted to human which made my mom squeak in amazement. Hastily he pulled on his cut offs.

"Jake`s been hurt. A new born got his arms around him and crushed his side..."He sounded out of breath and scared. The horror grew inside of me.

"The leech doctor is taking a look at him but Jake won`t shift back..."

"Why not?" Mr. Black barked angrily which made Brady flinch.

"The shock...the pain...plus his bones are setting too fast..." I couldn`t really decipher the deeper meaning of those words but Sue looked grim.

"The guys are carrying him back now...they will be here soon, with the doctor."

"Shift back and report if anything else happens." Mr. Black commanded. Brady nodded and looked at me. "He`s thinking about you..." He said to me only.

"Tell him I am too, tell him I`m waiting here for him." I hugged Brady, he was a sweet kid. "Tell them to hurry."

"I will." He phased back, forgetting his shorts, and ran back into the woods.

"So Dr. Cullen is coming here..." Mr. Black said.

"Seems so..." Sue said back to him.

**Sorry to leave it there but I do need to work and do things. Next part will be up on Friday. Remember to review. It makes the story better in so many ways cause I listen to all you have to say. Besos. **


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41. Not as good as I had hoped but it wasn`t easy to write. Hope you enjoy and thanks so much for all your kind reviews. Happy reading and remember to review at the end.**

Sitting on the Blacks porch I waited, I waited and I listened. Poor Jacob... this was all my fault! When he gets back I`m gonna take such good care of him, I was going to help him any way I could. I would stay with him until he got better. Knowing I needed to tell him the truth made my stomach cramp painfully. It was a cowardly thing but I didn`t want to let him know I knew but I had to. Fear of hurting him mixed with the fear of him being angry at me made me a nervous wreck. He had to know! I needed to tell him! When you love somebody you tell the truth right?

Kim came out after a while and sat with me. Taking my hand her hers she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"If it was Jared, I would feel the same...so I`m not going to tell you to stop freaking out." She said. I squeezed her hand and looked at her fully.

"Did you ever have to tell Jared something you knew would hurt him?" I asked. Kim looked at me thoughtfully.

"Are you pregnant?"

"NO! Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I huffed.

"Sorry...that was a stupid thing to say. Jacob would be happy if you were...freaked out yes but happy."

"So..."

"So...oh right! The question." Kim thought for a moment. "That`s a difficult one. I suppose...when he first imprinted on me I hurt him."

"How?"

"I didn`t believe it. One day in history class, totally used to being ignored by him, we had to partner up to do some exercises. I remembered getting so excited because maybe I would get to talk to him you know. When he heard the teacher say that he asked if he could partner up with Vanessa Bell instead." Kim looked so sad at that memory. "When the teacher said no way he was forced to do it with me. I was so pissed. More at myself than at him. It was like my little Jared fantasy had been shattered. That I realized he didn`t even want to look at me cause I was so insignificant..."

"I bet he didn`t think you were Kim."

"I know that now but...then it hurt. I promised myself I would get the hell over him. When we partnered up I just divided up the work and didn`t look at him or speak to him. He must of realized that I was hurt because of what he said earlier that he kept on trying to make conversation." She laughed. "Then...then our hands brushed...it was...like fire...not because of his heat but because of our imprint. Then we looked at each other..."

I kept silent, remembering when that happened to Jacob and me. The intense connection, the feeling of falling and finding your footing again, the crazy surge of emotions...

"The way he looked at me, the way he kept on looking, I couldn`t get my head around it. I couldn`t understand it you know? This was Jared Cameron! Looking at little Kim Carrillo like she was the most beautiful girl in the world. I convinced myself he was joking...trying to pull one over on me. I ignored him for a couple of days."

"Bet he hated that."

"Yeah...he never let up though. It was Leah who told me that after a while he changed his tactics because he figured out that I was scared, that I was shy. He took it slow from then...just talking to me when he saw me, showing up wherever I went but keeping his distance."

"He`s smart."

"I know right. A bit too smart sometimes but I love him. But...if I had to tell him something that hurt him...I called him a liar when he told me he loved me for the first time."

"You did? What did he do?"

"You know...the whole shaking bit...then he kissed me..." Kim got lost in her own memory. "But I think that you need to tell Jacob something...and you are afraid of doing it."

"I am. I kept something from him, something important, and now he`s hurt because of it."

"You don`t know that Sonia. The thing you needed to tell him...it was about Bella and her leech right?"

"Right."

"I think Jacob had that one figured out before he left. Jared told me that Jacob was starting to get suspicious about Bella, but didn`t know what was really up."

"I think that Bella and her leech were using Jacob for sex or something..."

"Using Jacob for sex?" Kim sounded like she was trying to stop herself from giggling.

"I don`t think they were really broken up you know..."

"And Jacob found out today...up on that mountain...it makes sense." She nodded her head.

"Do you think he`ll be angry at me for not telling him?"

"He might... I mean, you are his imprint. Jacob ran a sort of background check on Robbie to make sure that he wasn`t a sex criminal."

"He what?"

"Yeah...I know...He broke into Forks Police headquarters and searched their files. Then he got Emily to ask around the Makah rez about him. Turns out he is just a normal guy."

"Oh man..." I groaned, feeling horrible.

"I think you should have told him what you suspected. If Jacob would have listened or not that is a different question."

"I`m such a bitch."

"You`re not. You did what you thought was..." Kim didn`t finish. A flashy black Mercedes raced down the drive and stopped in front of the house. What the hell? Oh right... Dr. Fang was coming.

A tall blonde and extremely good looking pale man stepped out. The leech doctor. I remembered him from the hospital when nana died. Kim squeezed my hand painfully and stood up, forcing me along with her.

"Hello girls." He called over. We just stood there speechless. A vampire, a cold one on the reservation by invitation. It was unheard of. But if was to help Jacob then...

"Hello." I called back, swallowing my fear and my pride. Dr. Fangula approached the house as the others came filing out. Mr. Black wheeled forward, hesitantly shaking his hand.

"Thanks for coming." He said gruffly.

"For what the pack did for us today, there was no question of it." Dr. Leech replied solemnly.

"When will they get here?" Mr. Black asked.

"Two more minutes." Dr. Leech said.

"Two minutes!" I yelled, before taking off and sprinting into the woods. Taking the direction I hoped they would be coming from I ran.

"Wrong way Sonia!" I heard the leech yell after me. SHIT!

"Sonia come back! Wait for him here!" Mr. Black yelled as well. Then...then I could hear other yells. Screams of pain! JACOB! I ran back to the house and shadowed Dr. Fang as he purposely strode over to the other side of the house. Coming out of the woods I saw them.

"JACOB!" Running forward to meet them I was met by Seth and held back. The rest were carrying him, I couldn`t see him properly. He was crying out in pain and my heart clenched painfully.

"Please Seth...let me go..."

"No Sonia...he`s in too much pain...he doesn`t want you to see him this way...he`s too badly hurt."

"Bullshit! He needs me!" I whined, wriggling in Seth`s hold.

"I know he does but...he made us promise." Seth argued, his hold loosening a tiny bit.

"He didn`t make me promise though." Looking at them disappearing into the house.

"Go on then..." Seth let me go and I ran.

Bounding into the house and towards Jacob`s room I was stopped this time by Sam. The rest of the guys were squeezed in and Jacob`s cries were getting louder.

"Later Sonia, the doctor is working."

"I won`t get in the way! I can help!" I argued, trying to get past him.

"No! Not now!"

"Let me in Sam!"

"Jacob won`t want it!"

"Sam!" It was Emily who spoke. "If that was you in there, would you want me to stay out?"

"It`s not me though!"

"If it was me? You wouldn`t stay out."

Sam and Emily looked at each other for a long time before Sam nodded and led me in. I mouthed a thank you to Emily before going. Sam tapped Paul and Jared on the shoulder and told them to leave. Paul gave me a tight hug and Jared a kiss on the top of my head before leaving. Swallowing I looked at him, at Jacob. I looked at all of him.

"Oh my God.." I whispered out. Sam placed his large hands on my shoulders to steady and comfort me.

"I told you it was bad Sonia."

Jacob face was contorted in pain as Embry and Quil held him down on the bed. The whole left side of his body looked like it had been mangled. His leg and arm were stuck out at odd angles, broken ribs clearly visible through bruised skin. The leech doctor was busy filling a syringe with something.

"You can wait outside, you don`t need to see this." Sam whispered again. I shook my head.

"I`m staying..." You gotta take the good with the bad don`t you? When you love someone...

"If you want." Sam sounded proud in a strange way.

"What can I do to help?" I asked Dr. Fang. He looked at me with his golden eyes. They were soft as they regarded me.

"You can comfort him. I wouldn`t suggest holding his hand though, he might crush it."

"Anything else? Like hot water or towels or something?"

"He`s not giving birth Sonia." Embry snapped.

"I`m trying to help!" I snapped back.

"His bones need to be re-broken and set again! He doesn`t need you here freaking out!"

"I`m not going to do that!"

"STOP IT!" Sam whispered furiously. "Both of you can get out if you are going to act like this!"

"I`m staying!" I whispered again, stepping around Dr. Fang and sitting on the floor by the head of Jacob`s bed. They had moved it a couple of feet from the wall so Embry and Quil could stand there and hold him. "I`m staying here with you Jacob." I whispered into his ear before kissing his forehead.

"Sonia..." He grunted out.

"I`m here...try and relax, don`t strain yourself." I caressed his face.

"I`m sorry...I`m so sorry..." He whispered before yelling out in agony. "ARRGGGHHHH FUCKKKKK!"

"I`m giving you an injection of morphine Jacob." Dr. Fang said as he flicked the needle gently. "Embry, could you please hold down his arm." He asked. Embry did as he was told and held Jacob`s arm down on the bed forcefully. The doctor then injected Jacob with the morphine. His breathing calmed and he stopped jerking about.

"You`re gonna be okay baby. I promise you." I said, smoothing his sweat soaked hair.

Then the doctor got to work. Jacob`s system burned up the morphine fast and every painful snap of bone made him scream and me jump but I held strong. He needs me...he needs me to be strong. It was nauseating, watching the leech touch him and break him but I had to remember that he was helping him. The worst part was the ribs and hip. They took the longest and were the most dangerous part. I could only crouch at Jacob`s side while he swore and screamed. I made a promise to myself that I was going to break Bella the next time I saw her...break her like she broke him.

Then it was over. The doctor was done. He drugged Jacob up some more and bandaged him to ensure that his bones set properly. At this stage he was totally knocked out because he was so doped up. I stayed by his side though, holding his hand and not taking my eyes off his face.

Jacob never deserved any of this! He was just a kid, an overgrown kid but a kid all the same. He had fought to protect a girl he had loved. A girl who never deserved his love in the first place! I had to tell him, when he got his strength back. He will make it through, the worst is over. The bruising on his ribs was already starting to fade rapidly, but his face...despite his drug induced sleep it was troubled, pained.

"Sonia?" Embry whispered to me.

"Mmm?"

"I`m sorry I snapped at you, I was just..." He mumbled.

"It`s okay. I understand you were scared. Jacob is your best friend after all." I looked over at him. I couldn`t really make out his face in the darkness of the room.

"And he`s your soul mate."

"He is...Embry?" I ventured.

"Yeah?"

"What...what happened that made Jacob so angry?" I asked hesitantly.

"How do you know he was angry?"

"I felt it."

"Really? Wow that`s a new for the imprint manual..."

"Well?"

"You know he was up on the mountain with Bella and her leech. Well...when it was time for Jacob and Edward to leave for the fight Bella kinda broke down and begged Edward not to go...not to leave her."

"Seriously?" I whispered furiously.

"I know right? Jacob was like 'What the fuck? I thought you guys had broken up.' And then Bella told him everything."

"And what is everything?"

"That she thought that her and Jacob, because she supposably loves him, could have a physical type of relationship for a while until she changes into a leech. Edward doesn`t want to have sex with her in case he kills her. Then...then Edward suggested that Jacob father Bella`s children."

"Oh my God! That`s fucking gross Emb!" The only children Jacob will be fathering is mine!

"Jacob was so mad! So fucking furious! Not because he loves Bella, not now anyway...but because of the way she tricked him...because of what he gave up for her...what he fucked up."

"He didn`t know Embry..."

"So then he left but Bella tried to convince him to stay too, kissed him and all but he pushed her away and left. He was thinking about you...how much he loves you...he thinks that he doesn`t deserve you."

"We were made for each other. How can he even think that!" I looked down at Jacob`s face again.

"He was so fucked up he wasn`t even thinking straight! He just went into the battle, all claws and fangs, and let rip. I had never seen anything like it!" Embry sounded awed.

"How did he get hurt?"

"He was protecting Leah."

"Oh... I hope you guys don`t blame her for this." I said warningly.

"We won`t. There`s only one to blame."

"So...I wonder when she`ll show her face."

"Soon I think. You know she can`t resist the drama. She`ll be down here crying and begging for understanding." A note of bitterness ran through his voice.

"She won`t find it here. She`s not seeing him!"

"You gonna kill her aren`t you? Remember Sonia, her dad is a cop!"

"I`ll try not to mark her face then."

"Jacob needs a girl like you."

"I don`t know what that means."

"He needs someone who is not afraid to fight for him. To challenge him. You fit him perfectly."

"Thanks Emb."

"Hey Sonia?"

"Yeah."

"He`s gonna prove to you how much he loves you."

"And me him."

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better. Besos.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42. Hope you guys like. Again, another difficult one to write but I did my best. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. To answer a question that was asked, I saw maths and not math. Don`t know why, maybe it`s because I`m Irish? Anyway, happy reading and remember to review at the end. I love your feedback cause you are all so nice.**

"He awake yet?"

"Nope. Still sleeping."

"Still doped up?"

"Yeah, still doped up." I sighed. Leah sat down on the floor beside me and patted Jacob`s hand a couple of times.

"I`m sorry this happened...I really am."

"It was not your fault!" I hissed angrily.

"It was! I shouldn`t have tired to take out that newborn on my own."

"Stop it! Please Leah." I begged. I hated when Leah put herself down. Plus, there was only one girl to blame for all of this, and she wasn`t sitting here next to me.

I had been over at Jacob`s for at least ten hours. It was pitch black outside now and Mr. Black was dozing in his wheelchair in the kitchen. A while back Chief Swan had come over unexpectantly. He was shocked to see the state Jacob was in. A lie was concocted about a motorcycle accident. Thankfully, Chief Swan bought it. What about his daughter? When was she going to show her china doll face here?

"Sonia..." Rachel came into the bedroom with her phone in her hand. "Your mom wants to know if you are coming home tonight?"

"I`ll call her and tell her I`m staying here...if that`s okay?"

"Sure it`s okay. I`ll text her don`t worry. You want something to eat?" She pushed.

"Nah...I`m fine. Thanks Rachel."

"No problem. I`ll find you some blankets and pillows."

"You look like hell." Leah said when Rachel had left.

"I bet I do...I don`t care though."

"He`ll wake up just as Jacob like as ever in a while."

"You know what song I can`t get out of my head?"

"What?"

"He ain`t heavy, he`s my brother."

"Was that the last song you heard?"

"It was on the car radio before I came here."

"Oh...it`s a lovely song. You should substitute brother for imprint. Or imprinter."

"Yeah.." I giggled a little.

"Listen, I gotta head." She got up and took another sympathetic look at Jacob.

"See you soon." She said before leaving.

"See you soon. Get some sleep."

"You too."

When she left I bent over Jacob`s bed and took his injured hand and kissed it. He was so warm, his breathing even. Looking at his face though...it was worn, and troubled. I cupped it, giving him a gentle kiss on the mouth before burying my face in the crook of his shoulder and neck.

"You like The Hollies huh?" Jacob crooked out, completely startling me. I lifted my head up. His eyes were half open, a playful smile forming on his lips.

"You`re awake!" I whispered out, looking into the dark depths of his eyes.

"Yeah...sorta. I feel..." He tried to lift himself up but groaned and gave up. He lifted up his injured arm and cupped my face. I took it and pressed it gently to my cheek. "You stayed, didn`t you?"

"Yeah, I stayed. I haven`t left you since you came back." I rushed to reassure him. He frowned and broke eye contact with me.

"I didn`t want you to see me like that...or like this." He rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

"Why not Jacob?"

"I don`t want you to think I`m weak." I swore under my breath.

"Jacob...how the hell can I think that you are weak?"

"Because, look what happened! I`m not the brave warrior you thought I was."

"Don`t give me that! The pack said that you gave the leeches hell during the battle. That you were the best fighter."

"I chose the wrong fight. I was fighting for the wrong thing."

"You`re talking about her aren`t you?"

"They told you?"

"Yeah...Jacob, I need to tell you something."

"What? About Bella? I don`t think you can tell me anything new Bluebird."

"I knew." I breathed out fast. Jacob frowned at me and dropped his hand from my face.

"You knew? You knew Bella was trying to get me to father her children?"

"I didn`t know that I swear! I just kinda figured that she was using you, and that she wasn`t broken up with her leech." Jacob scowled up at the ceiling. I knew he would be pissed.

"And you didn`t tell me this." He whispered.

"I thought it was too late to tell you." I defended myself. Jacob shook his head minutely. "I`m sorry." I whispered.

"You should have told me Sonia."

"I didn`t do it to hurt you I swear! I thought...I thought that if you knew before then you wouldn`t be able to concentrate on the fight..."

"It happened anyway didn`t it. Just got out of there with my life." He said bitterly. I started to cry again. "Please don`t cry Sonia...I`m sorry I said that okay." He slowly got up and pulled me onto the bed beside him. Putting his arms around me he kissed my hair.

"I really did think I was doing the right thing. I was going to tell you when you come back."

"I believe you. You really are the smart one out of the two of us you know."

"I`m not."

"You are. You saw through Bella from the first. I was stupid not to listen to you."

"You were doing what you thought was best Jacob."

"At your expense...I`m sorry sweetheart."

"It`s over now Jacob. It`s me and you now."

"I don`t deserve you."

"We are imprinted, we deserve each other."

"I am going to prove myself to you Sonia. I`m going to win you back."

"Jacob..."

"Please...just listen to me...I want to show you that you are the most important thing in my life. I`m going to show you how much you mean to me. Everything I do from now on...it`s going to be for you..."

"Jacob...I want you to look after yourself as well you know."

"I will...don`t worry, me and you."

"Jacob? Thanks for getting Collin to come and see me."

"You looked so cute there in your nightdress and gum boots. I just needed to see you. Make sure that you were alive and safe."

"I was...you know Jacob...when you were away, I could feel your moods."

"You could?"

"Yeah, when you were angry, or annoyed, I could feel it."

"Huh...I could feel yours a little, you were scared a lot."

"Can`t blame me. What do you think that means?"

"I don`t know...maybe it`s like a sort of safety thing. If the wolf needs to be away for a long time then feeling the imprints moods would make sure that she is okay."

"And how does that explain how I could feel your moods?"

"The same maybe...so you can make sure that I`m okay."

"When you got angry...it was like...wow..."

"I`m sorry you felt that."

"Don`t be...it was you. It was scary but..."

"Sonia?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you trust me now?" He sounded so hesitant.

"Yes...I can trust you." I replied simply. Did he need to tell me something? I looked up into his face. "Can you trust me?"

"Yes. Yes I can and I do." He bent his head down and kissed me. A chaste kiss, but a kiss none the less.

"Do you still love Bella?" I asked, quickly regretting my words.

"No...not now no. It`s like the veil has been lifted. Christ...when she told all that shit...it was like I saw what she really was for the first time."

"She`s a sociopath."

"I wouldn`t go that far." Jacob laughed.

"Whatever, she`s nuts!"

"She is...it`s fucking depressing." He eased himself back down on the bed.

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to get your dad?"

"Yes...and yes. I need to talk to him."

"Okay, I`ll get him and I`ll make you something to eat."

"Thanks Florence Nightingale."

"I`ll let that one go." I got off the bed and headed for the door. I took a look back at Jacob. He was watching me go with his intense look.

"You`re going to eat something too right? I can hear your stomach rumbling."

"Sure, I`ll eat something." We smiled at each other before I left and woke Mr. Black.

I stayed in the kitchen while he and Jacob spoke in his bedroom. Rachel was gone, presumably over at Paul`s. I fixed Jacob a giant super sandwich and myself a smaller one. I ate mine while they talked away in the bedroom. I was happy, so so happy. Jacob was back, he was out of danger, and he was mine, finally. Smiling, I wolfed down the sandwich and took a long drink of water. I wonder what Jacob and his dad are talking about? Should I bring him in his sandwich now? Or wait until his dad comes out?

From outside I could see headlights brightening up the darkness. Who could that be at this hour? Peering out of the window I saw...a Volvo? NO! FUCKING! WAY!

Slamming down my glass of water I ran outside in a blind rage.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I snarled as Edward was helping a white (well whiter) faced Bella out of the passenger seat.

"Checking up on Jake." She said defiantly. I laughed.

"Checking up on Jake." I mimicked her stupid voice before getting right in her face. "You`ve done enough! Fucking leave before I do something I won`t regret."

"He`s my best friend!"

Whack! Punching her full on in the mouth I couldn`t think normally. This bitch standing there telling me that she is Jacob`s best friend? Telling me she cares about him! I`ll fucking kill her! Before I could do any more damage I was being held in a stone cold grasp. Edward had his arms wrapped around me from behind, holding me back, his face in my hair...Eugghhhh.

"LET GO OF ME!" I screamed, revolted by his touch I squirmed.

"You`ve made a really bad decision Sonia...nobody hurts my Bella like that." He whispered into my ear in a completely calm voice.

"LET GO OF HER!" Jacob`s voice boomed from the door way. "That`s the second time you`ve put your hands on my imprint leech!" He made his way forward unsteadily, with Mr. Black wheeling up behind him. Low, feral growls could be heard coming from the woods, and sure enough, the pack emerged, their eyes glowing in the moonlight, until they surrounded the car and us in a semi-circle.

Bella was crouched over, retching blood and vomit. Edward slowly let me down and went to her. Her face was tear and blood stained. I couldn`t care less.

"See what she did?" She asked shaken, spitting blood out from her mouth. "You saw didn`t you?" She looked over at Jacob.

"I didn`t see anything." Jacob said dismissively, coming over and standing by my side.

"Jacob!" Edward snapped. "Sonia assaulted her."

"She did? Well, I sure as hell don`t know what you are talking about."

"I`m pressing charges." Bella spoke.

"You`ll do no such thing Bella." Mr. Black said angrily. "If your father asks me what I saw then I`ll say Edward did it." Wow Mr. Black. "Who do you think he`ll believe?"

"Me!"

"Bella, if you value your and your vampires little secrets then you will be better off keeping your mouth shut." Jacob snarled.

"How can you say that!" She cried. "Jake, I know I hurt you, I know I broke your heart but..."

"Don`t flatter yourself! The only girl that can break my heart is standing here next to me and she would never do something like that." Jacob put his arm around me.

"This is not right Jacob. Bella did nothing to deserve being hit." Edward stated, picking the little bitch up and cradling her like she was a child.

"You better get her to Carlisle and come up with a good story Edward. Maybe Charlie will believe she fell on her face."

"This is not over!" Edward snarled, putting Bella into the car. The pack advanced on him, snapping their jaws and growling even louder.

"Leave this place, leave this land leech! You are not welcome! The treaty is still in place. Come here uninvited again and pay with your life." Jacob said calmly. Before they left Edward gave me a death glare. This wasn`t over yet. I knew it and so did he.

When they finally left Jacob collapsed down on the ground.

"Are you okay?" I fussed over him anxiously.

"You shouldn`t have hit her Sonia." He said.

"She deserved it, after what she did to you."

"I don`t want you getting into trouble."

"I won`t. They will fix her up as good as new and send her home to daddy with another tale of her legendary klutziness."

"I hope you`re right. The leeches won`t risk their secret being leaked. Not now."

"Come on Jacob." I said, trying to lift him up by his good arm.

"What are you doing crazy?" He asked as my attempts at getting him up were failing dramatically.

"Trying to get you to go back to bed and rest." I said. With a heaving groan, Jacob picked himself up and stood tall, if not a little stooped with his injuries. He pulled me into him and held me tight.

"If he ever touches you again..." He started.

"He won`t Jacob." I whispered into his chest, gently brushing his ribs with my finger tips.

"Come on Bluebird. Lets get some sleep." He pulled me into the house by my hand. Mr. Black followed us in.

"I`m sorry Mr. Black...I didn`t mean to cause any trouble for you." I said with honesty and shame.

"You didn`t Sonia." He reassured me, smiling a little. "If that gets Bella to stay away once and for all then..." He trailed off, laughing a little. "Get some sleep Sonia. Rachel has made up the sofa for you to sleep on."

"I`ll take the sofa. You can take my bed." Jacob said quickly.

"No you won`t Jacob. You are sleeping in your own bed!" I crossed my arms and looked at him with what I hoped was my angry stare.

"Or we can share my bed?"

"Jacob!" I hissed, Mr. Black was still there.

"I didn`t hear anything." He said before wheeling off towards his own bedroom. "Goodnight kids."

"Night."

"Night dad."

"So...come on. Bed time."

"Jacob...I don`t want to make you uncomfortable."

"You never do. I could use a good nights sleep."

"You can`t if you are in pain and I`m taking up space in the bed."

"With you beside me I can sleep soundly. Believe me. I just want to hold you."

"Jacob...are you sure?"

"Pretty sure." He promised me.

I put on one of Jacob`s old t-shirts and a pair of his clean boxers and snuggled into his good side. We didn`t talk for the rest of the night. We just held each other, just comforted the other. This was the beginning for us. The start of a better future. A future that was destined from before we were born.

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better. Besos.**


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43. Hope you guys like! Thanks so so so much for all the reviews. Sorry for the long wait. A lot happening this weekend. Euro Cup anyone? Sadly Ireland was crushed by a much better Croatia last night. Spain doing great which is good for the novio. Italy not so well which is bad for my dad. Anyway, enough football (or soccer) ranting and on to the world of Sonia and Jacob. Happy reading and remember to review at the end. Creepy maggot man is showing his presence in not such a good way. **

Mmmmmm...I sure as hell needed that nights sleep. Can I get anymore comfy? I don`t think so...

In my blissful half awake state I snuggled into Jacob some more and kissed his neck. Poor boo, snoring away, obviously still working whatever Dr. Fang gave him out of his system. This feels so nice, just lying here with him. I never want to get up. Everything just feels so right. So perfect. Well almost.

Starting to get a slight feeling of discomfort I shifted my position slightly. I had a moist feeling between my legs that made me smile. My period. What a relief. Adjusting my eyes to the darkness of the room I looked down at Jacob. Knowing that he was the only man I wanted to have children with didn`t hide the fact that we were way to young and immature to have kids now. In a good couple of years, but not now.

I would need to go home and get cleaned up. Get some tampons as well. Then come back here and take care of Jacob. Picking myself gently up off of him he stirred and grunted.

"Come back to bed." He groaned out, catching my hand and pulling me back down.

"Can`t, I need to go back home for something real quick."

"Pffft...use whatever`s here." One of his large hands went to massage my lower back. "You smell different."

I giggled and pulled myself back up.

"Do you have tampons?"

"Pffft...come back to bed." He tried to roll onto his side but grunted as he gave up.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, rubbing his face. He didn`t feel as clammy as he did yesterday.

"Better, cause you were with me." He took my hand and kissed my fingers. "Do you really need to go?"

"Yeah, I just need to have a shower and get changed, then I`ll come back over."

"Hummppfff...come back to bed."

"I`ll come back to bed later. It will be as if I`ve never been gone."

"How are you getting home?"

"I`ll walk."

"Take my car."

"Really? You sure?"

"Course. You can use it whenever you want you know."

"Thanks boo."

"Did you just call me boo?" He asked shocked. Embarrassed laughter over took me.

"Eh, yeah." I giggled some more before hopping off the bed to strip and get changed.

"It will never get old you know."

"What won`t?" I asked, taking off his t-shirt and boxers and searching for my clothes.

"Seeing you naked. It will never stop surprising me how perfect and beautiful you look naked. You sure you don`t want to come back to bed?"

Smiling at him I bent down to give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"I have my period Jacob." I said as I put on my underwear and clothes. I didn`t want to tell him we should take things slow, not now. Later. He knew it as well. We shouldn`t rush things, not this time.

"I know, I`m sorry. You want me to drive you?"

"Jacob! Stay in bed and rest. I`ll be back over in less than an hour."

"After all that time I spent away from you, I don`t want to spend anymore away."

"We can`t be joined at the hip all the time you know. I know what you mean though. Just...I won`t feel comfy until I get freshened up you know. You don`t want me smelling like period now do you?"

"Better than stinking of leech."

"I`m sure. Listen, I`ll go now, that way I`ll be back sooner."

"Cool. Drive carefully."

"I promise."

"Thanks. Sure you don`t want me to come?"

"No thanks. You get some more sleep. What time is it even?" I searched for my mobile and stared at the screen for a while before I was sure of the numbers. "It`s only half past six. Great. No teachers will see me driving around when I`m supposed to be sick."

"You going to school tomorrow?"

"I suppose I should. My friends will be wondering what`s up with me you know. Plus I promised my mom I would try harder this year. I`ll bring you your homework if you want."

"No thanks."

"I`ll see you soon `kay."

"`kay. The keys are in the kitchen I think. Drive safe."

"I will." Giving him a kiss on the forehead I left.

Driving home gave me time to think. Jacob seemed changed. Like he was truly in love with me, and it wasn`t scary. It was right. With no Bella screwing things up we could really be together. We both knew that we needed time to get to know each other again. We need to start from the beginning, well almost. Now I wasn`t afraid to share all of myself with him. I knew now that if I told him my secrets that he wouldn`t laugh or be scornful, he would listen. And I would listen to him, I wouldn`t push him away in a fit of jealousy over some stupid girl. I will listen to him. I`m his best friend now, not her.

Seeing my mom`s car parked outside meant that she was still in bed. Seeing Michael`s car parked up behind her`s meant that he must have come over last night and stayed. Gross, I mean, Michael did kinda look like Bradley Cooper but...gross. Mom`s are supposed to be non sexual right?

Letting myself in quietly I listened for any noises. Perfect. They were sleeping away. Looks like I could have a shower and sneak back out before they even knew I had come and gone. I collected my bathrobe from my bedroom and went to the bathroom. Once inside I stripped off. My panties were bloody and my jeans were already stained. Perfectly normal...I`m not the first or the last girl to period her pants...but...what the hell?

Turning sideways I saw five long scratches running down my side, starting from just below my armpit and ending on my hip. Fuck! What happened? Fingering them they stung a little before going bright red then fading altogether. I just stood there in shock, open mouthed, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

That`s it. I`m going nuts. I should be sent to the looney bin! What just happened? I didn`t imagine that! I knew I didn`t! Swallowing my shock and fear I started up the shower and got under. Looking at my side again I saw nothing, I felt nothing. Just...just shower and go back to Jacob. Should I tell him? Should I worry him over this? Maybe it was nothing. The light or I scraped myself without noticing. Then why all the uneasiness at the moment? Crap! Jacob would be sure to feel it right?

Quickly scrubbing my body and hair I got out of the shower and got dressed at record speed. Bringing the giant box of tampons from the bathroom I stuffed them into my bag along with some clothes and other things.

"Sonia?" Jacob`s voice came from the window. Shit!

"Jacob! You shouldn`t be here!" I opened it and threw my bag out before jumping out after it.

"You were frightened!" He whispered, looking fearful.

"It was nothing." I hastened to reassure him, taking his car keys from my pocket and rushing towards the car.

"Hold up! What happened?" He asked, wrapping an arm around my waist and holding me to him. "Please tell me."

"It was just...when I got undressed to have my shower...I saw some marks on my side."

"What types of marks? Something I did? Or...or the leech?" He spat out the last bit and began to shake violently.

"NO! NO! Jacob not like that!" I backed away from him.

"Then what?" He seemed shaken and white faced.

"We can go back to yours and then I`ll tell you."

"NO! Here! Now!" He demanded, coming towards me and putting his hands on my sides.

"There...there were five scratches, they looked like from finger nails or something. They went as soon as I noticed them." I said to the ground. Gosh I sound so stupid. " I must have scratched myself and freaked out or something."

"I don`t believe that. Can I see?" I showed him. Pulling up my sweater I showed him where they were.

"They are still there..." He whispered, dropping to his knees he traced where the scars were with his finger tips.

"I can`t see anything." I said, craning my head to have a better look.

"I can...they are fading fast...but I can see...what the hell?" He asked, his tone very hard to read.

"I dunno Jacob. Come on, let`s just go back."

"Are you sure nothing happened? You can tell me."

"I`m sure. I don`t know how they got there. The leech didn`t do it. If he did then I would have told you."

"I know you would have. What if I did?"

"You didn`t!"

"If anything happened to you...if anyone ever hurt you!"

"With you around nobody could. Who would want to hurt me anyway?"

Jacob just stared at me. Eyes searching, his hands moving to cup my face.

"Let`s go back to mine." He said simply, taking his keys from me and leading me over to his car.

"I`m sorry." I said as we got in. He started up the engine. "For what?"

"For scaring you."

"Don`t be sorry for that. It`s our way of knowing when we need each other."

"True but...you`re hurt. I don`t want you running after me like..."

"I`m fine! It`s my job to see that you are okay."

"I don`t want to be a job."

"You`re not! You are the most important person in my life! I`m not losing you! I`m not going to let anything happen to you!"

"I don`t know what to say to that." I whispered into my lap.

"Don`t say anything. I know...I know I`m going off as intense and Edward style creepy big time but..."

"You can never be as creepy as he is."

"Thanks. Christ...what the fuck could have caused those marks?" He muttered, more to himself than to me.

"Lets...lets just talk about something else."

"Like what?"

"Dunno, like us for example. What we are going to do and...stuff." I ran my fingers through my wet hair and stared out the window. Awkward much?

"Where do we start?" He asked quietly.

"Our status?" I ventured.

"Imprinted."

"No duh! I mean...friends? Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"I...I want to prove to you that I`m worthy."

"You saw Bella for who she really is. That`s proof enough for me."

"I don`t mean her. I mean...how I treated you before. How I was an asshole to you. I`m not really like that...I...I used to be nice you know."

"I know, I remember." I patted his knee and sighed. "I don`t know what you mean by proving yourself though."

"I mean like treating you good, doing things for you, helping you out when you need me, things like that you know?"

"You already do those things though."

"But I`ll do more."

"And what do you want me to do?" I asked.

"The same as you are doing now."

"I mean, I was pretty bitchy to you before."

"Pufff...A little. But that was because I was mean to you."

"Okay. Starting now we are nice to each other `kay? We get to know each other. Talk to each other."

"Sounds perfect Bluebird."

"You can call me that, but only in private."

"Cool, and please don`t call me boo in public."

"Hmmm, we`ll see."

"Sonia...come on." He laughed, turning into his drive.

"What? My boo hurting?" I pouted at him with baby eyes.

"You know, you are going to make things very difficult for me." He said, parking and getting out of the car.

"How?" I asked as I followed suit and got out.

"Being so damn cute like that. It makes me wanna just kiss the crap out of you."

"Kiss the crap out of me?" I laughed as I swung my back pack over my shoulder. He stood in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"And other things." He added before taking the bag from my shoulder and holding it by the strap on his pinkie.

"You want breakfast? I can make pancakes."

"Mmmmm pancakes. Sounds great." He opened the door and let me go in before him.

"I hope you like them though. The first couple I make always turn out crap."

"I love everything you make. You know that."

"Ha! You said my cauliflower curry looked like diarrhea."

"It tasted good though! Plus, it was the first time I had eaten curry." He defended. I wrapped my arms around his waist gently.

"I`m just playing with you."

"Ha ha ha. Come on." He patted my ass a little. "Let`s make breakfast."

"I want to make them for you."

"I want to help you to make them. I don`t want to stay in bed more."

"Okay then. We`ll make breakfast. Then go back to bed and relax."

"I like your way of thinking."

"Stop ass licking!" I giggled, searching his cabinets for flour.

"You know yours is the only ass I would ever..."

"Jacob!" I almost shouted, remembering Mr. Black was probably still sleeping. Finding the flour I grabbed a fist full and flung it at him. He dodged it in time and I ended up dusting the breakfast bar instead.

"Oohhh! I`m not cleaning that up!" He laughed.

"Shut up." I said, throwing more flour at him. I got him as he had flung back in laughter. "Ha!" He looked shocked.

"You are so gonna pay for that." He said as he backed me into a corner. I burst out laughing at the sight of him.

"You...you look so funny." I snorted.

"Huh? Let`s see how funny you look with the entire bag poured over your head." As quick as a flash he grabbed the bag of flour and poured it over my head.

"Jacob! Oh man!" My hair was still wet and everything.

"Don`t start things you can`t finish." He chuckled as he picked me up and held me to him. "Do you want to have a shower?"

"Looks like I have to now. Do you...want to have a bath with me instead?" I asked shyly.

"Isn`t that moving a bit fast?" Jacob asked gently. Okay embarrassing.

"Forget it." I must have went red faced. "Go shower, I`ll clean this up." I rubbed some flour off my face and shook out my hair.

"Hey...Come have a shower with me. I mean...since we are not officially going out I thought that the whole touching each other naked thing was out of bounds."

"Since when are we ever shy of seeing each other naked? Or touching each other?"

"Never." Jacob smiled and rubbed some more flour off my face.

"Go have your shower."

"When you come with me I will. It will be quicker and it will save water."

"You sure?"

"Yep, get your ass in that bathroom before I spank it."

"Is that supposed to frighten me or turn me on?"

"Both?"

"Do you think I should cut my hair again?" I asked Jacob while we finished cleaning the kitchen after making the pancakes. We left Mr. Black a plate, which I had to beg Jacob not to eat.

"I like it as it is now."

"I kinda like it short."

"Whatever you want. I like it longer."

"Do you want to talk about what happened up on the mountain?" I asked, looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"I thought the guys already told you." I knew he was trying to make himself sound light hearted. It wasn`t working though.

"I know it`s bothering you."

"It is. If you really want to know. It`s very simple. She is either so deluded that she thinks I`ll father her children...but you know, I don`t think she even wants kids, I bet that was the leech`s idea...or that she has no respect for me that she thinks I`ll do what she wants."

"Why...why did you love her in the first place?"

"Because I thought she was sweet. I mean, she shows up here all of a sudden, wanting to hang out, getting these sweet bikes for me to fix up. It was like woah you know. It started out as a crush you know."

"It`s natural."

"Yeah, but, then...then I changed. I knew the truth. I knew the legends were true. I knew who the Cullen`s really were. Then I knew that Bella knew. I was mad at her."

"Why?"

"Cause she thought that we were behind all these leech murders that were going on at the time."

"Crap, I remember all those hitch hikers going missing. I can`t believe she thought that you guys were killing those people."

"Yeah but...I forgave her that. I liked her, changing didn`t change that. Then, the leeches came back, and she ran back to them." He shook his head and looked so angry. "The time we spent together. Everything I did for her, and she threw it back in my face."

"But still, it didn`t stop me from liking her. It just got more intense. She was innocent, she was a human! What the hell was she doing with him? I convinced myself I needed to save her."

"I understand that."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, course."

"But then you came into my life. You made me question everything."

"Is that good or bad?"

"I thought it was bad at the time, but now, so good." He smiled at me and took my hand over the breakfast bar. He fingered the friendship bracelets on my wrist.

"Thanks for telling me all this stuff." I said.

"How did you feel? You know, in the beginning."

"Freaked out." I said a bit too fast. "I mean, Jacob Black, resident La Push Tribal school hottie takes a not too friendly notice in me. How was I supposed to feel? Don`t take that the wrong way. It was like I discovered a deeply repressed crush or something...it just made sense, but it also didn`t. I realized I liked you, or loved you, and I felt so foolish for it `cause you didn`t like me, or so I thought."

"So you liked me?" He smiled cheekily.

"Eh yeah! You knew it!" I nudged him with my fist. "I also hated Bella the minute I set eyes on her. Eurrghh."

"It`s over now. It`s just you for me now, and forever."

"And you me."

"You know, if you want to spend time with that Robbie douc..guy, then you can."

"He`s nice. Real nice but...he`s not you, and I don`t want to play him. He doesn`t want friendship Jacob. You know that and so do I."

"If you want to date him..."

"You will be okay, really okay, if I wanted to date Robbie?"

"If that`s what you wanted..."

"Great! Gosh thanks! You know I was really scared about telling you but I think I really like him." I gushed. Jacob was wide eyed as he regarded me. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing.

"Sonia...you`re not serious...are you?"

"Jacob...Jacob? Come on! What the fuck? Of course I`m not serious!"

"Don`t try and trick me like that!" He breathed out in relief and smiled a little.

"You are too easy."

"Crap, how did you stand me going on about Bella for months? Just the fucking thought of someone kissing you.."

"Maybe I`m just better at hiding my feelings?"

"No. I knew you were jealous. But since you can`t morph into a wolf you had different ways of acting out."

"Like what?"

"Shutting yourself off when you felt threatened. The whole mega bitch face." He made a fairly good impression of my face when I was angry. I rolled my eyes.

"You love my face and don`t even deny it."

"I fucking love your face."

**Remember to review and criticize. It really helps the story along. Besos.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44. Hope you guys like. Thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews and sorry I`m not updating as quick as before. Euro cup time you know. Anyways, happy reading and tell me what you think. **

**Next chapter: Sonia and Kim finally have that chat and go on a mission to find out who exactly is creepy maggot man (though I think a lot of you have guessed already.) **

**Please don`t be afraid to criticize the story or what I`m doing. I do listen to you. I welcome criticism because I know my writing and story isn`t perfect. With your comments I feel like I`m being moved in the right direction. I want to write a story that everyone (not only myself) enjoys. Besos.**

"Hey Sonia! How you feeling?" Bernie asked me as I met up with her at her locker. I told my friends I had come down with a horrible flu. "You still look a bit peaky." I look peaky?

"Better. It was a rough week."

"I heard Jacob was in a motorcycle accident."

"Yeah, he was pretty banged up."

"You went to see him didn`t you?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah...I wanted to make sure he was okay." I muttered.

"Doesn`t he have a new girlfriend to do that? The skank?" She pressed.

"They broke up." I said quietly. Bernie made a disgusted noise.

"What happened to you Sonia?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on! You know exactly what I mean. Before Jacob came along you were different. The old Sonia wouldn`t go around all depressed if some guy screwed you over. Now...you`ve changed. You let him walk all over you for some strange reason."

"I don`t Bernie!"

"You do! Shit Sonia! I love Ollie but he pulled that type of crap with me he can say goodbye to his balls you know? You`re my best friend. I`m only looking out for you."

"I know you are but...but with Jacob..."

"You still love him. But that isn`t reason enough to let him get back in."

"Maybe it is."

"It isn`t. There is something more going on that you`re not telling me. I`m not going to press you on it because I know you will just shut me out. But I`m telling you this now. If you get back together with him now I`m going to kick your ass!"

"No you won`t."

"You wanna bet?"

"I`m not getting back together with him now, but, I can`t shut him out of my life."

"You are too soft Sonz. Just don`t come crying to me when he fucks everything up again." She shut her locker and fixed me with a defiant stare. She was being serious.

"He won`t fuck up again." I said, staring back. Bernie just snorted and picked up her back pack. "He won`t." I stated, harder this time.

"Don`t be so weak Sonia. You`re better than that." She flicked back her long hair and walked off towards her first class.

Urgghh. I knew she was right. But it was more complicated than that wasn`t it? I mean, me and Jacob are imprinted. It changes the rules a little doesn`t it? Was I making it too easy for him though? Was I taking the easy way out because I knew, for sure, that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together?

What did I want? I wanted love. I wanted to be happy. I wanted Jacob and now that he was finally mine I was questioning everything all over again! Yesterday was...perfect. But, I could see the whole sleeping in the bed thing and flirting turning into something more soon. I was pretty positive that if I didn`t have my period now I would have fucked him a couple of times over already. What a fucking head fuck!

Adjusting my bag a little I stalked towards History. Why couldn`t things go perfect for once. Why couldn`t I have my cake and eat it? Sitting down at my desk I opened up my book and folder, pretending to read. What could I do? I love Jacob. He loves me. He said he wanted to prove himself to me before we got back together so why shouldn`t I let him do just that? The ball was totally in my court. Jacob would wait until I said I wanted him as my boyfriend again. He did have his faults but for me, they weren`t big enough to stop me from loving him. We should wait until we`re both ready. When there were no more secrets between us.

So, school passed okay. I got another lecture, this time from Ollie about surprise surprise, Jacob. I listened to all he had to say. He was suspicious about the rest of the pack and how they all seemed to have skipped school or were sick during the week. It was like he was waiting for me to tell him something. Yeah right! The pack`s secret was one I would be taking to the grave. As much as I hated having to lie to Ollie it needed to be done. There was no other way. He seemed to be growing more and more pissed off with me, and I was pretty certain that he and Bernie were talking about me behind my back as they were both saying the same things to me.

That got to me, I mean, they are my friends. My best friends. But now I felt that our relationship had changed drastically. I had changed. I wasn`t the same carefree Sonia I was before, with all the shit that was going on in my life now I had to grow up. A lot of other people depended on me for support and to keep my mouth shut. Knowing that there were blood thirsty vampires out there put a bit of a dampener on my sense of adventure also. But La Push, this little place was my home, and now it didn`t seem as safe anymore. I needed to talk to Kim alone about that. Somewhere where we wouldn`t be overheard. I know I shouldn`t keep putting that conversation off but it was one I most certainly didn`t want to have any time soon.

* * *

><p>"Sonia, why so deep in thought?" Jacob asked as he drove me to ballet class.<p>

"Just thinking about some things."

"Like what?"

"Like...what my friends will think when they see how friendly we are to each other now."

"Huh? Since when have you cared about what other people think of you?"

"I`ve always cared, whether I like to admit that or not is another question."

"Really? I mean...you sure don`t seem like you do."

"How would you feel Jacob? Knowing that your dad was locked up for armed robbery? Knowing that he used to deal drugs? Crap, he probably sold them to peoples kids here!"

"You`re not your dad!" Jacob said angrily.

"I`m his daughter though! Born to teenage parents who were still in high school. You think I don`t know what people say about me? Or about my mom?" I argued.

"They`re idiots then."

"Bullshit! You thought the same." I said, growing more pissed off. Why was I starting a fight?

"I`m sorry about that...I just...I didn`t know you back then."

"Does knowing me make a difference?"

"Well yeah...it does."

"So I have to work extra hard to prove to everyone here that I`m not like my dad? That I`m not tainted."

Jacob pulled over and killed the engine.

"Okay Sonia. What the hell happened? Why are you upset?" He twisted in his seat so he was facing me.

"Why does everything have to be so goddamned hard?"

"Like what?"

"Like us? Like my friends? It seems that when one thing is finally going right another just goes wrong."

"What happened with your friends? Did you fight or something?"

"No. But...they`re getting annoyed with me. They know I`m hiding something. They don`t understand and I can`t tell them. I`m afraid of that they will think when me and you...eventually get back together, when you come back to school on Monday and everything is hunky dory between the two of us."

"Let them think what they want. If they were your real friends then they would understand."

"No Jacob. They are my real friends and they can`t understand. What they see is two normal teenagers, not one shape shifting vampire slaying wolf and his imprint spirit wife who are bound together with a bond that can`t be broken even by death."

"Okay I get it. They are just looking out for you then, can`t fault them for that, I mean, they saw me hurt you over and over again."

"So, what do you think I should do?"

"What you think is best. If you want to ignore me at school I can play along with that."

"Christ Jacob, I`m not ignoring you at school!"

"Then we should just play it cool, pretend to be on good terms now or something."

"I don`t like playing games."

"Me neither. Listen, I won`t be all heavy or go all imprinted on you at school. We can just...when we see each other we can talk to each other or whatever."

"Sounds good...you`re cool with that?"

"I just want you to be happy. I know how much your friends mean to you. I don`t want to cause problems there. So yeah, I`m cool with that."

"Thanks Jacob."

"Anything for you. So, we better head if you don`t want to be late."

"I don`t feel like ballet tonight."

"Then we can head back."

"No. Once I get there I`ll be fine."

"Cool. Can I watch, you know, when you are dancing?" He asked shyly.

"You want to watch?" I thought he didn`t like ballet.

"Yeah, I`ve wanted to watch you dance since forever."

"I`ll dance for you then." I answered him quietly. He smiled and blushed a little.

"Sonia. Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"You and me...I know that we are not officially back together again. I just want to know what you want to do."

"What I want to do?"

"Yeah like, what you want from me. How much you want from me."

"Oh okay. I want to know you`re here for me. That you`ll listen to me and just be you. That`s all I want." I watched as Jacob smiled a little.

"I can do that. What about how much you want from me?"

"Is that another way to say kissing and sex?"

"Well...yeah it is."

"We should...not do that for a while I think. Until we are both ready again."

"I`ll tone down my intense physical attraction for you then." He laughed which made me giggle. "I promise I won`t try anything until you say so."

"And I promise I won`t either. It`s not only you you know. I happen to like sex. A lot!"

"You are supposed to be saying why we shouldn`t!"

"I am!"

"I`ll wait. Even if you never wanted to again I`ll wait." Huh?

"I just feel that I`m not ready. The first time...we rushed it. I knew you were not over Bella and..and I just wanted you to think about me for once, I thought that sex was one thing I could give you that she wouldn`t." I admitted. Feeling my face go red I looked out the window.

"Crap Sonia, you give me more than she ever could. When..when me and her were 'going out' it felt so wrong. When she was trying to get me to have sex with her...I didn`t want to. I couldn`t even kiss her without your face popping into my head." I so didn`t want to think about him kissing her. I wanted to kill something.

"Where you very angry when I went to see the leech?" I asked, trying to change the topic.

"What do you think? Fuck...I would have killed him. Embry told you it was the day I wanted to get back with you and it was. I had everything planned out perfectly, then I got the news from Jared that you were spotted with him in Forks Diner. I was angry at you, I won`t deny that. But I can`t be hypocritical `cause I was hanging out with Bella. I just, I didn`t know how to talk to you. I didn`t know what you wanted. Once you shut yourself off it was so difficult to get through to you. I thought that, if you went to see the leech then...then you were over me or something."

"I could never be over you Jacob. What did Bella say to you, or what did you say to Bella that led to you two to get together?"

"I was livid after you left to go home, but Bella found me on the beach. She told me that she had come to her senses, that she really wanted me. She told me that Edward understood and wanted the best for her. She said...she said that if you could hurt me by going to see the one person I hated the most then you didn`t deserve me. That you were selfish and moody. I swallowed it even though I knew deep down she was wrong. If there is a person telling you what you want to hear then...it`s easy to fall for it." Fucking CUNT! Fucking Bella bitch! Now I wished I did more than punch her in the mouth. I felt so disappointed with Jacob right now. Thank God I wasn`t back together with him at the moment.

"Thanks for being honest." I mumbled. I couldn`t keep the annoyance from my voice.

"I`m sorry." He whispered, taking my hand.

"Okay...so...it`s in the past now. Just as long as you are serious about wanting me back then I can get over that."

"I am deadly serious Sonia. I know you still have your doubts about me, maybe you will for a long time but that`s why I said I`m going to show you that you are the only one for me. You can decide whether it`s enough or not."

"Okay Jacob." I said, still feeling pretty down. We lapsed into a long silence.

"I`m making you something." He said suddenly.

"You are? What?" Sensing that he wanted to get back into my good graces I melted.

"It`s a surprise." He said, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Come on, tell me. Please?"

"No no no. When it`s finished I`ll give it to you."

"Now I`m all curious."

"I hope you like it."

"If you made it then yeah I will."

"Can you give me a clue?"

"Nope, you`ll end up guessing it."

"Fine. Okay, I`ll wait. It will kill me but I`ll wait."

"It won`t kill you, it`s not that great anyway, just something small."

"Stop putting whatever it is down. Whatever it is I`ll treasure it."

"You are great..really great. You have so much heart."

"I don`t know about that."

"You do. It`s like, once you accept someone, you accept all of them. There`s no bullshit with you and you don`t take bullshit either. You accept me and you`re not afraid to tell me when I`m fucking up."

"Because I care about you."

"Don`t ever think I don`t care about you. It was just before, when I first imprinted, I didn`t know how to handle it. I didn`t know how to deal with my feelings for you. But don`t ever think I`ve never had your well being and safety in mind. From the very first moment I knew I had to keep you safe and well and it was something I was and will always be happy to do. I fucked up as a boyfriend but not as your protector."

"Now`s the time to make it right then."

"It is. It`s amazing that you`re even giving me the chance!"

"How can I not?" I laughed, incredulous. Jacob`s face changed and he suddenly looked grim.

"Exactly, how can you not?" He repeated quietly. I wasn`t dumb enough not to notice his mood had changed.

"What`s up?"

"Would you have noticed me if I never had imprinted on you?" Oh God! Why did he have to ask that?

"Eventually. Would you have noticed me?"

"That question scares me."

"Because you don`t know if you would have? It`s okay Jacob."

"It`s not."

"Why not though?"

"Because I can`t imagine never imprinting on you."

"Don`t imagine it then. Just accept the fact that you have."

"I`m trying Sonia...I really am. It`s just...I can never lose you."

"You are afraid of losing me. I get it. Just realize that I`m not going anywhere. You can never lose me."

"I won`t. I`ll keep you safe from anything that could hurt you." Oh! I got him now. He wasn`t afraid of losing my love, he was terrified of me being hurt and dying.

And he knew..he knew how fragile life was. How easy it could be for somebody you love and who loved you could be taken from you in an instant. So violently that their coffin had to be nailed shut. So suddenly that there was no time for goodbyes or one last 'I love you'.

His obsession to keep Bella alive must have been killing him because he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He didn`t want someone to die so needlessly, for selfish reasons. It must still hurt him that she would give up her life so easily, and so young.

But with me...if he let himself love me fully, if he let himself lose whatever bit of control he had over the imprint and just surrender, then, if I died, he would be destroyed completely. But everybody has to die sometime. I know I will, someday. He knew that too...that`s what`s holding him back.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"You know we`re going to be together forever right? Even, even after we die, whatever place our spirits go to, we will be together. It`s soul mates, not body mates."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, a bit confused.

"Forget it. We have all the time in the world to talk about it."

**Remember to review, it makes the story better and the chapters come quicker. **


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45: Kim and Sonia have a long awaited for chat. I suck at writing action/scary things but I did my best and I hope you like it. I`m trying to make it as realistic as possible. Thanks so much for your reviews from the last chapter. I do listen to everything you say. All of your feedback is really helpful. I mean it when I say I welcome criticism so fire away. Anyways happy reading. **

**Coming up next: Sonia and Kim do a little investigating and Mr. McBride lets something important slip. Jared and Kim spend a little alone time away from each other and Jacob gives Sonia something special but Bella (true to form) spoils things a little. **

"Hey Kim!" I sang, knocking and opening her back door that led into her kitchen.

"Hey Sonia! What`s up?" She was sitting at a desk in the corner, doing something on her laptop. She got up and gave me a hug.

"Nothing much, just wanted to send some time with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I feel that I`m the closest to you out of everyone...you know?" Kim smiled her adorable dimpled smile. No wonder Jared was so obsessed with her. She was so good and sweet and it just shone through. She was not overtly sexy but she had that sort of appeal that showed what a great catch she was when you took the time to really look. It was kinda indescribable. If I were a lesbian I would totally have the hots for this chick.

"I feel the same. I mean, we can talk so naturally, something I can`t do with Emily or Rachel." She sounded a bit guilty admitting that.

"I know right? So..how`s Jared?" I asked, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"He`s fine. It`s such a relief having him back safe and sound." Kim sat down as well and crossed her legs.

"Bet the return sex was amazing."

"It was." Kim blushed a little. "He was so gentle that night, he always is but...that time, it was like the first time all over again." Kim`s blush deepened and she fiddled with her engagement ring. I felt so jealous of her relationship at the moment. "I`m sorry if I`m making you feel bad." She rushed to apologize.

"What? No no no! I was just thinking."

"About Jacob?"

"Yeah...I`m...I`m just so confused."

"I understand. A lot of shit has gone down. A lot of stuff that`s really difficult to forgive or forget."

"I love him...I really do but...I feel like I`m losing myself. My whole identity. I feel like I`m being absorbed into him."

"What do you feel like you`re losing?" She asked gently.

"I always thought that I was strong. A strong woman. Like my mom or my nana. The fact that I`m forgiving him so easily is...it`s not something I would have done in the past."

"He`s your imprint."

"I know. But...if Jared done the same to you, what would you have done? Not that Jared would even look at another girl but you know what I mean."

"If Jared would have pulled the same shit as Jacob had did...You think you`re not strong Sonia but you are. If I were in your shoes, from the very beginning, knowing or thinking that the guy you`re in love with, that you are bound to, is in love and wants another girl, is mean to you, treats you like shit, lies to you...it would have made me just pack my bags and leave."

"That`s the strong thing to do."

"Is it? Running away from your problems? You are strong staying here and confronting it head on because you know that it was wrong. Your problems, they only end up following you. The thing about these guys is that, once they imprint, they would never let their imprint go. If you had left, Jacob would have followed you like you had a tracker device attached to your person."

"That sounds so creepy."

"It is creepy. I had always wondered how Jared knew where I was. If I suddenly left and went somewhere far away, say Siberia or something, I would bet everything I had that Jared would find me."

"Jared would never hurt you Kim. I wish Jacob had been like him from the beginning."

"Every imprinting is different. It might have been so easy and clear for Jared from the beginning but it wasn`t for me."

"Tell me about it."

"You remember us from high school right? You remember the type of girls Jared used to hook up with?"

"Yeah...they had nothing on you." Jared went for the obvious lookers back then. Girls who gave it up easily. Kim didn`t fall into that category of girls.

"Thanks but...come on Sonia. There was one girl in Forks high that Jared used to date before he changed, and a little after as well and she looked like frickin` Mischa Barton! I mean, how the hell am I supposed to compare to that? The girl looked like a model!"

"Kim! How many times do you have to be told? You are so beautiful!" Kim giggled a little.

"Thanks Sonia. But you understand right? Jared goes from dating Miss OC to declaring his love to me. In a normal world, what guy would go from a tall, blonde, skinny and unfairly beautiful girl to a short, dark, and unremarkable girl like me? It was such a mind fuck."

"I felt a bit like that about Bella. I`m not calling Jacob a self hating native but...I always felt that he thought I was inferior to her."

"You`re not though. It takes time to get used to this imprinting stuff. With Jacob constantly going on and on and on about Bella it would affect you."

"I still don`t think he`s over her Kim."

"Why not?"

"It`s just a feeling. He`s angry at her, I know he is but what if he`s just wanting me now because...I don`t know..."

"That`s not it Sonia. I`m going to tell you something but you have to promise not to say it to Jacob or to anyone else."

"I promise...tell me."

"Jared tells me everything...you want to know something he told me about Jacob?"

"Eh...yeah!"

"Jared told me that Jacob was acting like such a dick when he first imprinted, not because he hated you, but because he wanted to keep you out of this shit, out of harms way."

"What?" I whispered.

"Yeah, he`s such an idiot but...he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. The second he imprinted you owned him, forget about Bella, he was lying to himself because he was afraid. Jacob likes to complicate things, he tired to scare you away, he tired to stay away from you but that`s like trying to keep a fly away from shit, forgive the comparison. He treated you like shit and tore himself up in remorse afterwards, he promised himself time and time again to just stay away and then invented excuses to see you or talk to you."

"Fuck me..."

"At that time, he did love Bella, but that love faded with every moment he spent with you. He cared for her, he wanted to keep her safe and he convinced himself that she was who he really wanted."

"I kinda know that. Jacob should have known better than to fuck with peoples emotions like that. It was exactly what Bella did to him and he did it to me. If he really had hated me I would have accepted that. But to lie about it...to treat someone so horribly for a stupid fucking reason just boggles the mind."

"It`s the truth. Jacob isn`t a bad guy, but no person is entirely good or entirely bad you know. You are it for him now. Whatever happens now is up to you."

"Did Jared tell you anything else?"

"Jacob is still holding back from you because he`s terrified of losing you, like he lost his mom. That kind of loss really affects people. Especially when it happens when you are so young."

"Do you think he`ll ever let go and just accept me?"

"Yes. That`s a definite. Jacob is nearly there. He is serious about you Sonia. Jared says that he doesn`t have any romantic feelings for Bella anymore. But don`t think that just because you are imprinted that your fears aren`t valid. They are. He needs to regain your trust again."

"He does because...I don`t trust him one hundred percent."

"Give it time."

"When`s Jared getting back?" I asked.

"He has work until six then patrol when I go to bed."

"Kim...can we talk about...the dream?" I whispered out with my heart hammering. Kim looked suddenly pale and took in a deep breath.

"Have you been having them again?"

"Not as bad as the first one."

"Me neither...but...weird things have been happening." Her hand went to hold her upper arm. An unconscious reaction but one I noticed.

"The marks? The scratches?" Kim looked at me wide eyed.

"Not scratches...but it was like a hand print was branded onto my arm...as soon as I felt it and looked at it it went."

"Did you tell Jared?"

"No." Kim whispered. "What could I have told him? It had gone by the time he had come back home."

"But he felt you were scared right?"

"Yeah, he felt it. He kept on and on at me to tell him what was up but...I just screamed at him to leave me the hell alone."

"Holy crap. How did he take that?"

"He was pretty upset and a bit angry at me but he understood that something was up. He tried his gentle approach when we had gone to bed which just made me cry. To shut him up I made him make fuck me."

"Wow. Has he mentioned it since?"

"No...He`s waiting for me to bring it up again."

"Did you tell him about the dream? What you saw when you were a kid?"

"Yeah...I don`t think he really believed me though...it was just a dream after all."

"We both know now that it wasn`t Kim."

"Sonia...I don`t know what to do...whatever that thing is..."

"It`s trying to hurt us."

"It can hurt us Sonia!"

"What do we do? Tell the guys?"

"No." Kim said shaking her head. "Jared and Jacob would go on freak out mode, either that or they don`t believe us."

"Are you sure? I mean maybe they could help or something?"

"We don`t even know what it is."

"The day my nana died...I asked her about that day when I was a kid and went missing...she got terrified...so terrified that she had a heart attack."

"Oh Sonia..." Kim came over and gave me a hug. I breathed in her fresh smell and hugged her back.

"She said...just before she died that...I awoke him...and that when I remembered then..."

"Then what?" Kim whispered.

"Then she collapsed...she never finished what she was going to say."

"So she knew..."

"She knew and she didn`t want to say. She never told me. She didn`t want to."

"Did she say anything else?" Kim asked gently.

"She said that old things exist or something. Something about balance between good and bad...like the wolves can`t exist without the vampires. When the bad becomes too dominant...it threatens the yin and yang. You know what I think..."

Before I could finish a loud crash came from one of the bedrooms followed by Noah crying and Kim and I screaming.

Kim tore out of the kitchen to Noah`s nursery and I followed with my heart hammering.

"Oh my baby...my little baby...it`s okay...it`s okay..." Kim had Noah in her arms and cradled to her chest. With a tear stained face she kissed his little head. She was shaking, and Noah wouldn`t let up screaming. I went over ushered Kim out of the room. Turning on the light I saw nothing out of the ordinary, but that bang, that crash, it came from in here didn`t it?

"Shit..." I whispered out. What the fuck just happened. It was him...I knew it was...he was making his presence known...we were getting too close...he was trying to scare us. Taking one last look around the room I decided to leave and check Kim and Jared`s bedroom out. Before I turned off the light I looked over at the window. The baby blue curtains were still drawn.

Trembling, I made my way open and took hold of them. With the feeling of knowing that you are about to see something bad I sucked in a deep breath and opened them.

"Oh my God." I covered my mouth with my hand and backed away.

The glass was cracked and blood and some feathers were stuck to the pane. A bird must have hit it...

"Sonia? Kim?" I heard Jacob`s voice yell from outside. I drew the curtains and ran out of the room to meet him.

"Jacob..." I had to stop myself from running and flinging myself into him. He bounded towards me.

"What happened?" He asked, putting his arms around me.

"We heard a crash from Noah`s room is all." Kim answered for me. Noah had stopped crying but she was still rocking him.

"Is that what happened Sonia?" Jacob asked, giving me a stare.

"Yes, that`s what happened." I said, looking him straight in the eye. I knew he didn`t believe me.

"Jared`s on his way Kim." He told her. "Are you okay?" He asked her kindly.

"I`m fine. Can you tell him he doesn`t have to leave work?"

"You know he`s gonna come so there`s no point. He`ll be here in `bout two minutes. Enough time for you two to get your stories straight." Jacob said, before leaving us to check the nursery. Kim and I stared at each other guiltily. Do we tell them? Kim shook her head. I understood. Just talking about it aloud caused a fucking bird to fly into the window! It was no accident. It was a warning. He can hurt us. He could hurt innocent little baby Noah if he wanted to. He could hurt our imprinters. The people we loved.

"Holy crap!" We heard Jacob say from Noah`s room. Sounds like he saw the window. Kim lay Noah down on the sofa and undressed him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, kneeling beside her.

"He pooped." She said. He did, I could smell it. Once she had everything off him she ran her fingers over his skin. I understood. She was checking for any marks on his skin.

"Do you think?" I asked.

"I hope not." She whispered out. There was nothing there. We both breathed a sigh of relief.

"KIM!" Jared yelled from outside. Noah jumped and started to cry again.

"I`ll take care of him." I told her, grabbing the diaper bag from the side of the sofa.

"Thanks." Kim said quickly before standing up and meeting Jared at the door. He looked so worried, just wearing a pair of jeans, meaning that he phased real quick to come here.

"Kimi!" He ran towards her and picked her up, holding her up flush against him.

"Jared...it`s okay..." She mumbled out, trying to get him to let go.

"It`s not...just tell me what happened?" He said, putting her down and running his fingers through her hair.

Deciding I shouldn`t be watching them I gave Noah my full attention. Taking off his soiled diaper and cleaning him up, I tried to get his wriggling body into a fresh one.

"Nothing happened Jared!" Kim said for the fifth time. Jared seemed like he wasn`t going to let it go anytime soon. I cringed. This was so uncomfortable.

"A bird hit the window in Noah`s room Jared. Must have made one hell of a bang. They were probably just freaked out `cause of the noise." Jacob said from the doorway of the nursery, trying to calm Jared down.

"Bullshit!" Jared yelled. Taking Kim by the hand he dragged her into their bedroom and slammed the door behind them, making me jump and Noah start to whimper again.

"Fuck..." Jacob whispered. "Sonia, just tell me what happened."

"The bird hit the window." I said, putting Noah`s tiny arms into the baby grow and buttoning it up.

"Just let it fucking go!" I heard Kim scream from the bedroom. I have never felt shittier. Why did I have to talk to her about it today? With the baby here and everything?

"DON`T GIVE ME THAT FUCKING SHIT!" Jared yelled at the top of his voice. "STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME!"

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" Holy crap Kim!

"Get Noah and Kim outta here quick!" Jacob said urgently before bounding into the bedroom and dragging Jared out forcibly. He was red in the face and shaking horribly. Once they were outside I picked up Noah and went to get Kim. She was backed into a corner and bawling uncontrollably. Taking her by the hand I dragged her outside and to my car. Spotting Jacob wrestling Jared into the woods, and Sam and Paul in wolf form circling them, I took the chance.

"Kim, you and Noah are coming over to mine. Just until Jared calms the fuck down." Kim nodded and took Noah and got in. She seemed a bit spaced. I hopped in and drove the fuck outta there.

Holy hell I had never seen Jared and Kim fight like that. I would never have expected Kim to tell Jared that she hated him. And I sure as hell knew it took all of Jared`s self control not to fucking phase so close to Kim. Shit that was nuts. I sure as hell hoped that Jared lived up to his reputation and was smart enough not to follow. The pack wouldn`t let him but...Kim was his imprint...and neither of them seemed in their right mind right now.

* * *

><p>"Mom!" I called as I opened the front door of my house.<p>

"Hey honey." My mom came out of the living room and balked at the state Kim was in. "Kim, honey, how are you?" She came towards her and led her inside and sat her down on the sofa.

"Take Noah mom." I whispered in her ear. She nodded.

"Kim, do you want me to take Noah for a little bit? Put him down to sleep?"

"Yeah...yeah...I forgot to take his baby bag..." She mumbled, before bursting into tears again. Mom swiftly took Noah and left me and Kim alone. I knelt before her and took her in my arms.

"Sussh Kim, it`s okay." I cooed.

"It`s...not...I...said..I..hated..him..." She hiccuped and wiped her nose on the back of her hand. Oh God poor Kim. She looked devastated. "He..was..so..angry...he..never..gets...angry at...me."

"Come on...who doesn`t get angry sometimes huh? It will be okay."

"What if he never wants to talk to me again?" She asked.

"Are you talking about Jared Cameron?" I fake laughed. That was one horrible fight I heard. "Listen Kim, I`m sorry for starting all this."

"You didn`t start it Sonia...it started a long time ago...now it`s just...starting up again." She took a couple of deep breaths.

"You want one of my mom`s anti-anxiety pills?" I offered.

"Thanks...but no...still breast feeding you know."

"Listen, go to my room and lay down with Noah for a while."

"Thanks Sonia...I just need to clear my head a little...Jared too I suppose." She got up off the sofa and hugged her arms around her. "I can`t tell him Sonia. Not until I know what it is."

"I know...I`m behind you Kim."

"I know you are. I`m behind you too."

**Remember to review. It makes the story better. Besos.**


	46. Chapter 46

**_Next chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it. I promise you that more will be answered in the next chapter. Thanks so much for all your lovely reviews from the last chapter. It is really motivating reading all your lovely comments. Anyways. Happy reading and remember to tell me what you think. _**

**_Up next: Mr. McBride sheds some light on what`s going on. Sonia and Jacob have a nasty confrontation with Bella. Sonia and Kim go to the woods. _**

"I shouldn`t have said what I said to Jared." Kim whispered over her coffee. She looked like absolute hell.

"Why did you say you hated him?" I asked. I never knew Kim had it in her to say that. Especially to Jared.

"I don`t know. It just all got to be too much Sonia. He was in my face so much...he wouldn`t leave me be. It was like something just took over me and I had enough. When...when I said it... I really felt like I meant it. It was fucking scary."

"But you don`t hate him right?"

"NO! I love him! It`s just like...sometimes I can`t breathe."

"Did you talk to him about it?"

"Nope. What could I tell him?"

"What you feel."

"I`m afraid of hurting him."

"What could you tell him that would hurt him?"

"A lot of things. Don`t get me wrong...Noah is the best thing that has happened to me, but I`m only nineteen. Sometimes...I feel that everything has just passed me by."

"Like what?"

"Like all my friends are at college. They are going to have careers. They are going to go traveling."

"Do you think that you and Jared moved too fast?"

"I dunno. When he imprinted on me...I was only your age, he was almost a year older. He was my first boyfriend, my first everything. Don`t get me wrong, I don`t want anyone else but him. It never felt rushed."

"You are overwhelmed then. Imprinting, engagement, baby and the...thing..."

"Today just...terrified me. If anything happened to Noah or Jared because of me I don`t know what I`d do."

"Nothing will happen to them."

"What if today was just a taster?"

"If it was then...we will have to find out what it is...and how to stop it."

"What if we can`t?"

"Then...no Kim! We will find a way. Are you sure you don`t want to tell Jared?"

"What if he gets hurt?"

"If it wanted to hurt the guys then it I think it would have already."

"What about Noah?"

"There was no marks on him though. It made a bird fly into the window. The only people it seems to be hurting are us."

"Do you think it was because you found it and I saw it?" She whispered.

"That sounds like it would explain some things. The only people who are targeted are us. The only ones who know are us."

"So, do you think, if we tell the rest, that they will be safe?"

"Do you think we should take that risk?" I asked, really unsure. Kim turned her engagement ring around her finger a couple of times.

"I think we should do some digging first. Find out what the fuck it is before we involve anyone else."

"Jacob won`t let it rest, neither will Jared."

"When I`m certain that it can`t anyone else then I`ll tell him. Until then..."

"What will you do?"

"Dunno. Jared will be mad. I mean...we are supposed to get married. We have a kid and we live together. We are soul mates and I`m keeping something really big from him. I should talk to him."

"If you told him then he`ll make sure you and Noah are safe."

"You mean more than he does now? I should just man up and tell him."

"Go call him then. He`s probably over at Emily`s place."

"I`m not calling Emily`s. She`ll just get on my case."

"Do you want me to call Jacob?"

"You just want to talk to Jacob. You don`t need an excuse you know." Kim laughed a little. "We should get both of them over here to talk."

"Good idea. I`ll call him and get him to bring Jared."

"Okay. We will tell them that there is something going on but we can`t tell what it is yet. They will be pissed but..."

"We`ll deal with it. We just have to stick together."

I went to the land line and dialed Jacob`s number. I hope he`s in human form. It rang for about a minute before Jacob finally picked up.

"Hey! Sonia! Everything okay?" Jacob asked. 'Kim`s with her right?' I heard Jared say in the background.

"Yeah, everything`s fine...well...you know."

"How`s Kim?" He asked.

"Pretty torn up." Kim made an angry face at me but I mouthed at her to shut up. I heard some shuffling going on in the back ground on Jacob`s end and some cursing.

"Sonia. Put Kim on the phone." Jared demanded in a scarily calm voice.

"Oh..hey Jared..." I cringed and looked desperately at Kim for help. She hopped of her chair and took the receiver.

"Jared...Yeah..Yeah I`m okay...Noah`s fine don`t worry..." She sighed and slumped against the wall a little. "Can you come over? Yeah to Sonia`s place. With Jacob? Okay...see you soon. I...I love you too." She hung up the phone slowly and breathed out.

"When will they be here?"

"Soon. A couple of minutes or something."

"I`m scared." I admitted, I was starting to sweat a little.

"Me too. I feel like my stomach has dropped out of my ass. Are you sure your mom is okay looking after Noah for a bit?"

"Oh yeah. She loves him don`t worry. She`s happy to do it." I looked out the window and spotted Jacob and Jared`s hulking forms coming out of the woods and across my lawn. "Shit! They`re here already!"

"Really? That was quick." Kim went and stood at the sink. Seemingly to put some distance between herself and the door. There were a couple of raps on the wood before Jacob opened it and came in, followed by Jared, who instantly locked his eyes on Kim.

"Hey." Jacob said to the both of us, before coming and standing beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Hey." I said to him.

"Hey." Kim whispered to the floor. Jared stood still at the door.

"Can you give me five minutes to speak to Kim alone please?" Jared asked. Jacob nudged me gently and started to move away.

"Are you okay Kim? Do you want us to go for a couple of minutes?" I asked her.

"I think we should talk to Jared and Jacob together first." She said. "Please Jared." She said quietly to him. He nodded. I went over to Kim and brought her to the kitchen table. Jacob and Jared sat down opposite.

"So...what`s going on?" Jared asked, eyes still on Kim.

"It`s about that dream...from a while back." Kim said.

"The dream? Are you serious?" Jared sounded so scornful. He must be still pissed off.

"If you`re not going to listen then..." Kim went to get up put I pulled her back down. Jared reached out over the table to take her hand.

"I`m sorry Kimi...just...just please tell me what`s going on."

"There is something going on...something that only me and Kim know about...something that...we don`t know for sure what it is."

"You`re so eloquent Sonia. That made so much sense." Jared said nastily. Holy crap he can be a jerk when he wants to be.

"Hey! Shut the fuck up talking to my imprint like that." Jacob shoved Jared angrily.

"Just stop it!" Kim shouted, annoyed. "I knew if I tried to tell you that you wouldn`t listen."

"I`m all ears." Jared said.

"Is it something to do with those scratches?" Jacob asked me. I nodded minutely.

"What scratches?" Jared asked.

"Sonia had these weird scratches on her side two days ago. Like someone scratched her hard with their nails. They looked really deep but faded so fast. She didn`t know how she got them." You could practically see the clogs turning in Jared`s head.

"Two days ago...when I felt you got scared over something and you wouldn`t tell me what?" Jared said levelly.

"Yeah." Kim answered him.

"You had these scratches too?" He asked, his hands were balled into fists.

"Not scratches. Something different."

"Are you going to tell me what?"

"An impression of a hand...like it was scalded into my skin."

"Let me see." Jared jumped out of his seat and tried to force Kim`s sleeve up.

"It`s gone. It went as soon and it came." She pulled up her sleeve some more and held her arm up for inspection. Jared studied it for a long time.

"I can`t see anything." Her pulled her sleeve down, gently this time, and sat down back in his chair.

"So...you think these dreams and scratches are connected?" Jacob asked.

Kim and I looked at each other. What do we tell them? Will it be safe?

"I can`t remember everything about the dreams." I said. It was the truth though.

"Me neither." Kim said.

"Then tell us what you do remember. Please Kim I`m begging you. I just wanna help you."

"When...when me and Sonia were kids...we found something in the woods..."

"I thought we weren`t going to tell that much!" I nudged Kim.

"What did you find?" Jacob asked. "Sonia?" He asked when I didn`t answer him.

"I don`t know what I found Jacob. I can`t remember what it is."

"And you saw it too?" Jared asked Kim.

"I saw, but I can`t remember either."

"Why do I feel that I can`t believe you?" Jared asked. Kim bit her lips.

"I have no idea." She whispered into her hands.

"Listen! We told you all we know. We found something in some cave in the woods when we were kids and now it`s come back and hurting us."

"So you are dreaming about something that happened over ten years ago when you were kids. It`s nothing to get freaked out about." Jared said.

"It`s more than that. How can you explain me and Sonia having the same dream on the same night? Getting fucking marked on the same day? Having a fucking bird fly into our son`s window when we talked about it? This is exactly why I didn`t want to tell you! I knew you wouldn`t fucking believe me!" Kim shouted angrily.

"I want to believe you but what you`re telling me doesn`t make sense." He said soothingly.

"Like imprinting and shape shifting are supposed to make sense? Like vampires are supposed to exist? Give me a break." She snorted and crossed her arms.

"What`s going on in here?" My mom came into the kitchen with a face like thunder. "Sonia?"

"We are just talking about something."

"Obviously. What?"

"About when Sonia went missing as a kid in the woods." Jacob said before I could come up with a good lie. I saw my moms face whiten.

"Jacob!" I hissed at him.

"Why...why would you be talking about that?" My mom whispered. Did she know what nana knew?

"Because Kim and Sonia have this stupid idea that some sort of monster lives in the woods and is out to get them." Jared said dryly.

"Shut up!" My mom told him. Jared looked very shocked. "You have no idea what you are talking about." She advanced on him, pointing her finger into his face. She looked demented.

"Mom...are you okay?" I got up and went to her.

"Am I okay?" She laughed. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. "I knew one day you would...forget it." She shook her head and headed for the coffee pot.

"Ms. Mara...what do you know?" Jacob asked, getting up and coming over to us.

"About what Jacob? My daughter went missing...it`s just a horrible memory to be dredging up." She lit a Marlboro with a shaking hand and turned her back to the room. I looked over at Kim.

"I don`t believe you...what really happened?" Jacob used his gentle voice.

"Nothing happened!" She screamed. "Got it? Sonia! Kim! Nothing happened that day so I suggest that you just forget about it."

"Ms. Mara...Something is happening." Kim began, getting up. "Something that neither me nor Sonia can remember exactly but...we are starting to. Ever since the first dream, I`m remembering more and more and more stuff is happening. I`m getting scared." By then Jared had his arms wrapped around her. A far off look on his face.

"I won`t let anything hurt you baby." He told her. Kim looked pained.

"Boys...Can you go for a while? Can you leave here for a couple of hours and promise to go far enough away so that you can`t hear us?" Mom asked them. Her tone was not to be contested.

"Why can`t we stay? If it concerns Kim then it concerns me." Jared said.

"This doesn`t concern you Jared. It can`t concern you."

"Jacob. You will do it right?" I asked him, looking up into his face. I could see that he was conflicted.

"It`s important Jacob. If you love Sonia like you say you do, if you are concerned about her well being, you will do as I ask. As she asks. You too Jared."

"How long do you need?" Jacob asked. I took his hand and squeezed it. Thank you Jacob.

"A couple of hours." Mom said. She went over to Kim and Jared. "Noah is in my bedroom sleeping, you can speak in there."

"Thanks Ms. Mara." Kim said as Jared led her out of the kitchen.

"You two can talk too." My mom left me and Jacob alone.

"I remember when you had that nightmare." He said.

"Do you?"

"You asked me if I though evil things lived in the woods. I didn`t know what you were talking about."

"I don`t know what I`m talking about either."

"You won`t do anything dangerous will you?"

"I don`t know if I can promise that." Jacob pulled me into a cuddle.

"Sonia...please don`t say that. Will you tell me what`s happening when you know what`s going on?"

"I don`t know that either Jacob." I nuzzled my face into his chest.

"You can trust me, I promise you."

"I know I can. Can you come over tonight? When my mom is asleep?" I asked him.

"Whatever you want. I`ll come whenever you need me or want me."

"I do want to tell you but...I`m afraid that if you know...it will hurt you too."

"Whatever this thing is it`s a pussy. Picking on two defenseless girls..." He suddenly pulled away.

"What`s wrong?" I asked. Jacob grimaced.

"Kim will tell you." He said, looking down at me and rubbing the back of his fingers on my cheek. "Look after her Sonia." So some shit had gone down between her and Jared then.

"I will. She`s like my sister." And I really meant that. Jared burst through the kitchen door with a face like a slapped ass. I jumped a little as he slammed the door behind him.

"Whatever the fuck is going on I`m going to find out." He snarled at me. Jacob placed me behind him and got in Jared`s face.

"Back the fuck off!" He growled.

"Somethings happened to my imprint, to my Kim!" He spat. "All of a fucking sudden she wants her space!" Jared looked like he was about to explode.

"She`s just confused man." Jacob told him. "She`ll come round."

Jared didn`t answer him, he just gave Jacob a black look and stalked out of the kitchen and outside.

"I gotta go before Jared kills something." Jacob muttered.

"How angry is he?"

"So angry. Kim is his everything, she`s the mother of his child."

"She loves him."

"When she said that she hated him...fuck...I had never seen him lose control like that."

"Go take care of him."

"I will. And you...take care. I`ll come see you tonight."

"Cool."

"Yeah...cool. And...here..." He handed me a little leather bag before giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"What`s.."

"Open it later. I love you." He gave me a small smile.

"Me too. I love you." He smiled wider before leaving and running after Jared.

I opened the little bag and took out a little dream catcher on a long leather cord. Oh wow...it was beautiful. We learned how to make these at school but...this one was so tiny, and so detailed. My heart swelled. I decided right there that I would make him something too.

"Sonia?" Mom came into the kitchen. I pocketed the dream catcher and looked over at her.

"You ready?" She asked.

"Yes. I`m ready."

I followed her into my nana`s room where Kim was waiting. Her eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot. I will stick by her, I have her back. We were in this together.

"So..." Mom began, sitting down at nana`s desk. "What do you know about Utlapa?"

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better. I really do listen to you. Besos.**


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47: Hope you guys enjoy. Thanks so much for the reviews from the last chapter. You are all amazing for sticking with this for so long. Anyways, Sonia and Kim get a much needed explanation. **

**Up next: Jacob comes to visit Sonia (what will happen?) Mr. McBride tells Sonia and Kim something interesting and Bella shows up to cause crap. **

**Happy reading and have a lovely Thursday. **

"Utlapa?" Kim repeated, confused. Mom gave her a steady nod.

"Yes Utlapa." It was like she was hoping for some recognition.

"He was the guy who betrayed Taha Aki. It was because of him that Taha Aki changed into a wolf."

"That`s true." My mom nodded again.

"He was killed. Taha Aki crushed his old body when Utlapa`s spirit was still inside." I said. This time my mom shook her head.

"Utlapa...made it out in time."

"Huh?" Kim asked, perplexed. Mom took a deep, steadying breath.

"Life wants to live Kim. Don`t underestimate the will for survival. Utlapa`s spirit lives on. Weakened...bodiless...but..."

"Is it him that`s...causing all of this?" I asked.

"Yes Sonia. It`s him."

"But how do you know all this?" Kim questioned. "How come the pack doesn`t know?"

"Yeah mom, if the elders knew this then so would the guys."

"They can`t know...it`s not their story to tell."

"Stop with the riddles mom. Why can`t they know?"

"Because Taha Aki forbade it! Sonia...Kim...remember. There is only one way to do battle with a spirit. That`s to leave your body and enter into the spirit realm."

"This is just getting more confusing. You`re saying that Taha Aki forbade the wolves from entering into the spirit world...but why?"

"Because it leaves the body open, vulnerable. He didn`t want Utlapa to jump into one of the bodies. Plus, his sons were the only ones that were wolves. He was talking about the original spirit warriors."

"Okay..so.." Kim looked like she was collecting her thoughts. "Why is he coming after me and Sonia?"

"Because you found him. Taha Aki banished Utlapa to a cave. The only way he could leave it would be if one of Taha Aki`s blood could set him free."

"But we didn`t set him free." I shouted. "Fuck mom! I think I would have remembered that!"

"It wasn`t you or Kim. If it was then the shit would have hit the fan a long time ago. It was someone else. But who? The person who sets him free would have to do it willingly. Would be happy to do it. Not a terrified child. It was done recently. The night you had the dreams." Kim and I looked at each other. This was a lot to take. Too much to take.

"Mom...why can`t the pack know? The real reason? Why does he want to hurt me and Kim?"

"The wolves...the boys...they lost their ability to enter into the spirit realm the minute Taha Aki asked to share the wolves body. It is something that is lost to them...but not to you. Not to the imprints."

"Are you saying...that...we are spirit warriors?" Kim whispered, wide eyed.

"If you want to look at it that way...but there is more to it than that. Shit...I should call Sue over."

"Sue knows?"

"Only me and her...and the two of you now...only the women."

"But why only the women?" I pressed.

"Because, if the boys knew about it then...they would take the imprints far from here, and leave the door open for lots of things to come and attack, not only Utlapa."

"Like vampires?" Kim said.

"Exactly. La Push, this place, it`s powerful. Not only the people but the land itself. It has always been coveted. It attracts both good and bad. Why do you think the vampires love coming around here? It makes them stronger. They feed off the life force here. The power. Now...Utlapa is getting stronger because there is an overflow of negative energy. He`s making his presence known to you...to force you away."

"So...if we can spirit fight with him then maybe we could defeat him?" I suggested.

"NO! It has been forbidden for a reason! The last time it happened..."

"When did it happen last?" Kim questioned.

"I`ll call Sue over. She will...explain things better."

"Mom!"

"Listen to me Sonia! This is important! I need her here..."

"Fine...just...promise you will tell us everything."

"I promise you."

My mom got up and went to call Sue. Me and Kim just sat in silence. It was too much...I was a spirit warrior...Utlapa was plotting his revenge...trying to scare us...

"This is nuts Sonia." Kim spoke quietly from the bed. "Never in a million years would I have imagined this..."

"I know...when my mom said all that stuff it was like..."

"The weight of the world just got heavier. Like more had been added to the load." Kim finished, sadly. I looked over at her and took her hand.

"I can take this on myself...you have a kid...someone who depends on you...I understand if you want to just...go home and forget about it."

"Sonia.." Kim shook her head and laughed humorlessly. "No way in hell am I leaving you to deal with all this shit. I wouldn`t even do that to my worst enemy."

"Miss OC?"

"Not even her." Kim sighed and wrapped her arms around me. "Life is never easy Sonia. You have to take the good with the bad right?"

"Right. Doesn`t stop you from being scared shitless though."

"And not being able to tell the guys..." She trailed off.

"Jared, is he..."

"Furious. I suppose telling him a half-truth is easier than telling him what`s really going on."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I needed my space. That everything has gotten to be too much and I need to clear my head. It was true in a way. But not in the way that I made him to believe. Not the way he did believe it."

"You said that stuff to push him away? So he would be protected?" I said. Kim nodded, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I love him more than anything. Him and Noah...they are my life and I would give myself up to make sure they were safe. That no harm could come to them. And I know Jared would do the same to protect me but...this...is something that he can`t save me from. This is something that I have to fight."

"We have to fight. I`m behind you Kim. Jared will respect your wishes, he will stay away until you say so."

"He won`t...he`ll put some distance between us for a while but...I know him. He`ll try and worm it out of me some way. He`ll get it into his head that it is something that he can fix, that he can make better. He doesn`t really listen to me...he`s just..." Kim looked like she was ashamed to say out loud what she was thinking.

"Go on." I encouraged her. She took a deep breath.

"It`s like...he know`s that I`m unhappy and ignores the real reasons. He thinks that sex and constant reassurance is enough to keep me happy. Don`t get me wrong, I love the sex."

"You feel that you are missing something?"

"Something that he can`t give me. Something that my life now won`t let me have."

"Like your education? You can still do that Kim!"

"I could have went to NYU! Imagine! It was my dream for years. All that studying, all that work I did to get it and then..." Her face contorted into a bitter frown then softened. "I gave up one dream to have a more important one. One that will last forever. But still...I miss the studying. I want to learn about new things. Then maybe I could see the world that way."

"Jared doesn`t know any of this?"

"If he does then he is keeping quiet about it."

"Maybe he`s worried about it? Maybe he feels like he can compensate you in other ways. Like giving you all of his love and devotion." Kim covered her mouth with her hand and let out a strangled sob. I spotted my mom at the door and shook my head at her, telling her to leave us for a couple minutes more. She nodded and disappeared. "What`s the matter Kim?" I smoothed her hair and put my arms around her shoulders. After a while she took in some ragged breaths.

"I`m throwing everything back in his face..." She hiccupped. "He`s given me everything he could...he`s made sure I`m comfortable...that I don`t have to work...he works full time and patrols full time so I have security...and I just threw it all back in his face...I`m such a selfish bitch."

"You`re not Kim! Don`t feel guilty for feeling a little disappointed." Crap! I knew the one place Kim needs to be right now is in Jared`s arms. Talking to him and not me. Today has been too hard on her. Harder on her than me.

"If it keeps him safe...then...I`ll let him think that. He can be angry at me but I know that it is for his own good. Because if I can`t tell him..."

"You can`t tell him Kim. Not now." Shit. When did Sue get here? She`s like Houdini. Just appearing out of thin air. She came into the bedroom followed by my mom.

"So...Utlapa`s back. And you two are unfortunate enough to have met him first."

"Tell us Sue." I demanded, getting sick to death of the round about way of saying things.

"I`m going to tell you about imprinting. Some things you may not like but..."

"Tell us!" Kim said.

"When the chosen few of the tribe had the ability to be spirit warriors...the men weren`t the only ones with this gift. The women had it too. When you go to the spirit plane you find the soul`s other half. Sometimes you get lucky, he or she would be on the earth, waiting for you. Sometimes they have lived before and others haven`t been born yet. But putting that aside for the moment, imprinting didn`t exist when we were spirit warriors, only after."

"Why?" Both me and Kim asked.

"When Taha Aki chose to share the wolfs body, it made finding your soul mate more difficult. A warrior is his strongest when he has somebody behind him. It is not only about making a genetically strong future wolf, it`s about finding someone who will make you stronger."

"Mr. Black told us that before." Kim said.

"But since Taha Aki forbade traveling and his sons didn`t have the ability to travel from their bodies something strange happened. Generations later, when his second wife died, when he laid his eyes upon the third wife...the second half of his soul...he became bound to her. Since his spirit could not leave his body it spoke in a different way. A more consuming way. The imprints spirit called to his in such a profound manner that all of his love, his entire being, his entire self, man and animal, was channelled into keeping his second half safe. He knew the danger, she could, if she had wanted to, if she had the knowledge, could leave her body."

"But why is that dangerous?" I asked. Sue grimaced.

"Because you would be breaking something that has been made whole. Remember girls, the spirit of a wolf cannot travel freely from his body. To do so would mean instant death. If the imprints spirit was to leave her body it would be taking the spirit of the wolf with her. The only thing is, she could come back and he couldn`t."

"Holy shit." Kim whispered out.

"Imprinting, to sum everything up, is a safety mechanism. It ensures that the imprint would never leave the wolf. It gives him strength to be with her but she can`t use her own innate powers."

"How do you know all this stuff?" Kim asked.

"Because this information has been entrusted to the female line of Taha Aki`s desendants. It has been passed down from mother to daughter, imprint to imprint."

"And if the guys knew they would take us away?" I confirmed. Sue nodded.

"The overwhelming urge to keep the imprint safe and alive comes before all else. Don`t ever underestimate that! If the guys knew that La Push was a natural magnet for all things, good and evil, they would take you all away, and leave the rest with no defense. That`s the knowledge the women carry. It`s up to you now to use this knowledge as you will. If you want to leave...then you leave...but if you want to stay..."

"We`re not going anywhere. Right Kim."

"Nowhere. La Push is our home."

Sue and mom smiled at us proudly. Crap, who would have known that La Push was some type of Buffy style Hellmouth?

"So...what are we supposed to do with all this information?" Kim asked. Trust her to ask the smart questions.

"Nothing." Mom said.

"Nothing? Mom? Seriously?"

"I`m dead serious."

"Utlapa is on the loose and we do nothing?" Kim almost screeched.

"What can you do? You can`t leave your bodies to seek him out and fight him, you will kill Jared and Jacob plus you wouldn`t even know how if you wanted to try. Utlapa is looking for a way in. Whoever set him free has opened the door a crack but not fully. True, he can mark you, but only you. Because you saw him. He can`t hurt anyone else. He wants to scare you, make you run away and take your men with you. He feeds off fear. Off weakness."

"So...we just..ignore this stuff?" I growled.

"You can`t ignore it. You can find whoever set him free and why they did it. I can promise you that this person is acting on what Utlapa wants."

"How can we even go about that? I mean...who the hell would know he`s there? You said that one of Taha Aki`s blood set him free. The pack and the imprints are his blood. I can`t see anyone doing this." I told them.

"Taha Aki had many sons. Had many daughters. They themselves had children. This has been going on for centuries. Not all of them chose to shapeshift. Not all of them knew the secret. The pack and the imprints are the ones who carry the strongest magic and blood within them, but others are from his line." Mom said.

"So we are looking for one of Taha Aki`s great multiplied by God knows what grandchild. That narrows it down to about a couple of hundred people." Kim said sarcastically.

"Do we tell Rachel and Emily?" I asked.

"No. Not yet." Sue said quickly. "Emily...will freak out I think. She would let slip to Sam. Rachel will want to leave and Paul would obviously go with her. Claire is too young to even know what`s going on. Keep it to yourselves for the time being."

"Okay. So, looks like we have to digging to do Sonia." Kim said, play punching me on the arm.

"Sure does."

"Girls. I trust you to keep this secret. I know that it will be difficult keeping it from Jacob and Jared but you know how important this is."

"We know. We won`t tell."

"Maybe in the future you could...if things start to get out of hand but...some things can`t be fought by the pack. They need different skills. Skills that you have." Sue said. Noah could be heard crying from my moms room. Kim snapped her head up and bolted up.

"He probably needs changing and a feed." She muttered, leaving the room.

"I should take her home." I said, getting off the bed.

"Let me. Stay here with your mom." Sue asked me. I nodded.

"Sure. Just...if Jared`s there don`t let him freak out."

"Jared won`t pull that shit with me." Sue snorted. Leah was so like her it was creepy.

"Thanks Sue, mom, for telling us." I said.

"We couldn`t leave it any longer." Mom pulled me into a cuddle.

**Thanks for reading and remember to review. It makes the story better cause I do listen to what you have to say. Besos.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48: Hope you guys enjoy. There are a lot of twists in this chapter. Thanks so so so much for all your lovely reviews from the last chapter. You are all wonderful for sticking with this. **

**Coming up next: Sonia and Kim dig deeper into Bella`s past but Jacob and Jared are growing a lot more suspicious. Edward warns Sonia and Kim from digging deeper. What team is he playing for? A bit from Jacob`s POV as he and Jared do some digging of their own and find the cave. **

**Happy reading and enjoy. **

Kim left with Sue but before we made plans to meet up again tomorrow to start our little investigation. Well, little investigation didn`t really cover it. It was something big. Someone, some stupid person, had set Utlapa free. For what reason though? Why would a Quileute, a member of our tribe, free him? He hates the tribe. He wants to hurt us. He wants us all to die.

And the imprints...we are spirit warriors. Gosh...when I was a little girl it was my dream. But now, knowing that I had this ability, it seems more like a nightmare. What`s the point of having powers if you know you can`t use them? It would kill Jacob if I left my body. I would never ever ever EVER do that! It was such a terrifying thought. So what now? This is so fucking confusing. What the hell are we supposed to do?

So now it was about two a.m and I was waiting for Jacob to come over. I was being to freak out. What if he was angry at me for not telling him what was going down? I fingered the dreamcatcher necklace that Jacob had made me and sat on my bed on top a load of clothes and turned off my lamp so I was left in the dark. I really wanted to tell Jacob but I couldn`t. It would get back to the rest of the wolves and they would take us all away. It was not an option.

"Sonia?" I heard Jacob`s hushed voice come from my open window. I felt my heart go into over drive a little as I hopped off the bed and went over. He was bathed in moonlight looking like some sort of hot warrior coming for his lover. Christ, I needed to stop thinking about him that way. I didn`t want my fantasies to over shadow what was really important now.

"Jacob!" I leaned out the window and threw my arms around his neck, breathing in his smell. I didn`t trust myself to look into his eyes so I buried my head into his neck. Oh Jacob...please understand...please don`t make this even harder for me...

"Hey there..." He had his hands on my waist, holding me and pushing back into my room. Releasing him so he could climb in I took some steadying breaths. Once he was inside I rushed to hug him again.

"Sonia...are you okay?" He whispered, concerned. I nodded, choking up a little. "You`re not." He stated, trying to look down into my face.

"Just...just hold me...just stay with me..." I begged him, knowing he would do what I wanted and not press me now. He picked me up and lay down on the bed with me. We just stayed there, in each others arms, holding one another. I needed his warmth, his security. His fingers found their way to my neck and to the necklace he made me.

"You like it?" He asked, a bit unsure. Intertwining his fingers with mine I gave him a kiss on the mouth.

"I love it...that you so much Jacob...maybe it will keep the bad dreams out." Jacob`s hands came to cup my face. Before I knew what was happening his mouth was upon mine, hot and searching. I responded in kind as he intensified the kiss. Deepening it as he felt the length of back, crushing his body closer to mine. After a while he groaned and broke off, making me feel horribly disappointed.

"I know you are not going to tell me what`s going on... if Kim won`t tell Jared then I already know you won`t tell me."

"I`m sorry. But...it`s..." I broke off and rolled onto my back.

"I trust you Sonia. But I just want to know that you are in no danger."

"I`m not. Nobody is either."

"Promise?"

"If this was too much for me to handle then I would tell you."

"Would you?"

"I would. Are you angry with me?"

"I`m not. I`m just...worried. Terrified actually. Hearing Kim say the things she said. Having Jared freak out is fucking nuts. Out of all of us they seemed the most solid you know."

"Even more solid than Emily and Sam?"

"Yeah...much more. Emily and Sam...you know they don`t sleep together right?"

"What?" I gasped out, sitting up a little. Was this really the time for gossip?

"Yeah so... Kim and Jared from the start..."

"I don`t think we should talk about them...Kim`s a private person..."

"I get it. So..."

"Tell me what you are feeling? Tell me what you are thinking?" I begged him.

"I thought I told you? Sonia...I...I want to believe you when you tell me that you are not in danger but I can`t help but feel that that`s a lie. It`s a gut feeling. But I know you`re strong. You can handle yourself. So...I think...that...once you have your mind set on something...once you believe that what you are doing is the right thing then...I`ll wait for you to tell me, or not tell me. If that makes any sense."

"Thanks Jacob. I need your trust on this. Do...do you think you could talk to Jared? Tell him to try and understand that Kim needs to do this alone?" Jacob laughed a little.

"I already did. He`s not having any of it. He will find out what`s going on." I sighed as Jacob told me this.

"He will just end up pushing Kim away. She won`t tell him. I promise you that."

"That`s their problem. What I`m thinking about is you." He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed the tip of my nose. I couldn`t shake the feeling that something was not quite right. Jacob was livid when I went to meet Edward. He should be freaking out now right?

"Jacob...are you being understanding just because you want me to trust you again? Because you think I`ll tell you what`s going on this way?"

"What?" He said, sitting up. "Are you for real?"

"I have to really know how you feel!" I cried, forgetting about my mom sleeping. Jacob turned to me and grabbed me by the shoulders, putting his face so close to mine.

"You really want to know?" He growled. I nodded, gulping down the fear that had sprang up inside of me. I could hear him breathing hard. "You have no idea how hard it is not to just pick you up and carry you the fuck outta here. Far away. Because I know something is here that`s scaring you. I can feel it Sonia!"

"I know you can." I sobbed out. Jacob`s hold on my shoulders loosened and he ran his hands down my arms and to my hands.

"So what do I do then Sonia? I want to protect you but I can`t. I know I can`t and that makes me feel so helpless."

"How do you think I feel? Knowing that you are in danger too and I can do nothing to help you? When you came back from that battle so messed up...and I could do nothing! I could only watch...I could only wait! You may be the closest thing to indestructable there is but..."

"That`s different!"

"Is it? No it`s not..." I shook my head and looked over Jacob`s shoulder. "Together we are stronger right? You give me your protection, maybe I give you protection too?" Please...please understand Jacob! He didn`t say anything for a long time. "Please say something!" He grabbed his face and made him look at me. In the moonlight I could see that his eyes were pained. Like he was fighting some internal battle.

"Say something!" I asked again. He was making me scared. "Please..." I put my mouth close to his. He still didn`t move, didn`t respond. Please Jacob...

I took his hands and placed them on my hips, my mouth still close to his, neither one of us moving in for the kiss, the tension building. Running his hands up my waist and just below my breasts I stopped...God I wanted him...I loved him...I needed him...a beautiful ache was building up between my legs, begging for Jacob to do something about it. As I brought my mouth down onto his he backed away quickly. I stumbled forward but caught myself before I could fall off the bed.

"You don`t really want this..." He whispered, pulling at his hair, breathing hard. "You`re confused."

"I`m not. I want it. I want you."

"Please don`t say that! Not now!" He growled angrily. "If we do this. If we have sex now then there is no going back Sonia. I will have you as my girlfriend. I won`t be content with just fucking because I want more from you, more than you are willing to give right now. This is not the right time to be getting back together don`t you think?"

"Maybe it is?"

"Shit you are unbelievable. No it`s not! You don`t trust me! You don`t trust me enough to tell me what`s going on!"

"Kim can`t tell Jared either!"

"This isn`t about them! It`s about us. I know what will happen. We will sleep together tonight and then something will happen that will make you run away from me again."

"No Jacob...please..."

"Please what? Sonia...just tell me. I can help you. Whatever problem you and Kim have the pack will help. You have my word. I swear it."

"You can`t. I want to tell you but I can`t."

"Why not?"

"Just trust me on this. Don`t make it more difficult."

"That`s a lot to ask. Knowing that an imprint is in trouble is bad enough. Two of them... Jared won`t let this rest. I won`t either."

"You`re making this harder Jacob."

"No, you are the one making this hard. Stop being so stubborn."

"I`ve respected the packs secret. I`ve respected and kept your secret. Why can`t you respect the fact that I have one that needs to be kept?"

"I`ll keep it." He said with ernest.

"How exactly? You share a mind link remember. I tell you, you tell the pack and then everyone knows. It`s not my secret to share, not even with you."

"You are not going to budge on this are you?"

"No I`m not."

"Then...where does that leave me?" Jacob asked.

"You can leave...or you can stay. It`s your choice."

"That`s not what I meant."

"You know what I need you to do."

Jacob and I stared at each other a long time. Would he trust me to let me deal with this on my own.

"If I want to stay tonight?" He asked. I felt my stomach tighten in anticipation. Taking off my t-shirt and panties I lay under the duvet, waiting for him. In the darkness I saw him strip. He settled in beside me and wrapped in his strong arms. "You`re sure?" He breathed into my ear as his fingers traced light patterns on the skin of my quivering stomach.

Was I sure? I was doing a stupid thing but I didn`t care. I don`t care. I needed him.

"I`m sure. Please Jacob..." I ran my hands over his chest and nipped on his neck.

"Tell me you are mine." He breathed in my ear as he rolled on top of me. My voice caught in my throat as he was kissing my cheek. If you tell him that then... "Tell me that you are mine forever."

"I`m...I`m yours..." It came out so choked that Jacob stopped what he was doing and just looked at me.

"Is that really true Bluebird?" He asked as he traced my jaw line.

"Yes. You know it is." I told him. All the sexual excitement I had felt before had evaporated.

"It`s about what I said before right? About you being my girlfriend?"

"I...I..."

"Don`t worry." He rolled off me. He sounded so...sad...embarrassed. "You should sleep."

"You`re going to stay right?" I asked, taking his hand.

"If you want me too..."

"Do you want to?"

"You know I do."

"Everyday you come here girl you look more and more downcast." Mr. McBride said from the living room. I was cooking his food for the week and so didn`t want to be here.

"Maybe it`s you?" I muttered under my breath. "Jerk off."

"Me eh?" How the fuck did he hear that? "In my day young people never dared to disrespect their elders like that."

"I...I...didn`t say anthing." I said. Cheeks flaming I stirred the carrot soup vigorously.

"So you are a liar as well as a bastard?"

"Stop calling me that!" I yelled, getting angry. If Mr. McBride was angry or shocked at my outburst it didn`t show. "You have no right calling me that!"

"It`s the truth isn`t it? Your daddy brought shame to this tribe. Looks like you are following in his footsteps."

"FUCK YOU!" I hollered at him, throwing the wooden spoon I was stirring with across the kitchen. "You bitter old creep! You don`t fucking how me!"

"I don`t? I know you better than you know yourself Sonia."

"What are you some sort of psychic?" I snorted, turning off the gas on the stove. Fuck this shit. Mr. McBride can find some other slave to look after him. I grabbed my coat and bag and made for the door.

"You are the same scared little girl that got lost in the woods all those years ago. You and the other imprint. Kim isn`t it?" He said in a low but clear voice. My insides had turned to ice as I stared at him in horror. "You are the same child that found out a secret that needed to be kept no matter what the sacrifice."

"You...you are him...you`re Utlapa..." Oh God Oh God Oh God.

"Me? Utlapa? I swear with every new generation everyone just gets stupider. I`m not Utlapa. I`m someone else."

"Bullshit." Run Sonia!

"I found you? Don`t you remember? I saved you before he could really hurt you."

"No..." I shook my head and backed away. A hazy memory came to mind. One of a faceless old man coming and taking my hand...pulling me out of the cave and carrying me to my mommy. Was it him?

"Yes Sonia. You know that you have nothing to fear from me. I`m not the person you awoke."

"Who are you then?"

"George McBride." He answered.

"No...how the hell do you know about imprinting? How do you know about Utlapa?" I demanded, walking towards him.

"I know because I was entrusted to make sure that he never escaped but it looked like I failed now doesn`t it? Because of you and the other girl. Because of an unfortunate twist of fate."

"We didn`t set him free."

"True, you didn`t, but you awoke him. The magic in your blood called to him."

"Who set him free?"

"One who wants to live forever."

"But who?"

"I`m not psychic as you said Sonia."

"So you don`t know then...some fucking protector you are."

"I know this much. Whoever set him free wants what Utlapa wants. This person is weak enough to fall for his manipulations."

"What does he want? Besides to destroy the tribe that is."

"He wants his other half." Mr. McBride strode towards me and grabbed my arm with surprising strength. His eyes were blazing with determination. "Call the other imprint over here."

"Who are you?" I asked again.

"I was one of Taha Aki`s sons. I`ve had many names over the years but my real name is one long forgotten to everyones lips. When my father banished Utlapa to the cave he had a vision. He foresaw Utlapa`s return...he foresaw that when countless generations passed Utlapa would find his spirit wife and together with her, would destroy the Quileute`s. Erase every last one of them so that La Push would be a breathing ground for evil."

"Utlapa`s spirit wife is alive? She set him free?"

"No...she isn`t alive yet. If we are lucky she never will exist."

"I don`t know what to say." Kim said from the warmth of the fireplace. She had had a hard time sneaking away from her house. Jared had taken Noah over to his parents house to a birthday party for his younger brother. Kim had gotten out of it saying that she had a migraine. But she was nervous that he would somehow find out that she was here and listen in.

We had learned as well that Mr. McBride was a wolf. But when his father died so did his mind connection to the new Chief. He wasn`t part of the new pack. Whenever he phased the wolves that come after him couldn`t hear him.

"It`s true Kimimela." Mr. McBride said. He seemed to like Kim a whole lot better than me.

"It`s just Kim." She corrected him.

"Kim. The two of you are bound to this. You awoke him. You have to stop this."

"And you are sure you don`t know who woke him." She pressed. I thought he was lying for some reason and evidently so did Kim.

"This isn`t the time to keep more secrets." I told him.

"I told you that this person wants to live forever didn`t I? You really can`t think of anyone you know?" He asked, like he was talking to a child. I thought. And then it hit me...

"Bella Bitch Swan." I whispered.

"What?" Kim said, snapping her head up.

"Bella! She is the only one I know who wants to live forever! She wants to be a leech remember!"

"But Bella isn`t a Quileute." Kim reminded me. Shit! She was right. Then another thought hit me.

"She doesn`t have to be full blooded though. She could have some Quileute ancestors."

"That`s possible..." Kim nodded. "What do you think...or know?" She asked Mr. McBride.

"She is a foolish girl for sure."

"She`s a fucking moron!" I hissed. "What Jacob ever saw in her..." I shook my head.

"Jacob. The new Chief. He more than likely sensed the danger but interpreted it in a strange way."

"What do you mean? Sensed the danger?" I asked.

"Don`t underestimate the wolves. They can do more than change into giant animals girls. They can sense danger a long time before it happens."

"So..Jacob could sense that Bella was dangerous but thought instead that she was in danger. I fucking get it now..." I whispered.

"It makes sense Sonia. Jacob felt this overwhelming need to keep Bella from changing into a leech because she would be more dangerous that way." Kim added, nodding.

"But...okay...say it was Bella that set Utlapa free. But that doesn`t explain who is his spirit wife? Would it be Bella?"

"No Sonia. I already told you that she isn`t alive yet." Mr. McBride reminded me. Oh yeah, forgot about that.

"So...we have to prevent Utlapa`s spirit wife from being born. That`s not impossible at all is it?" Kim sang sarcastically.

"We have to continue this another time. Your wolf is looking for you Kim." Mr. McBride told Kim. She muttered an 'aw shit' under her breath. "Yours too Sonia. It`s only a matter of time before they come here."

"Great." I rolled my eyes. I gave Kim a sorry look. Her and Jared were totally not talking at the moment and this morning waking up next to Jacob and his giant morning boner was decidedly awkward.

"I should head. We`ll talk about this tomorrow. Come over to mine after school Sonia. You too Mr. McBride. Jared will get suspicious if I keep coming here." She said. She paused at back door and turned to Mr. McBride again. "Thanks for letting us know this stuff." He nodded at her and she left. We watched her walk off in the misty rain. Pulling her hood up and covering her shiny black hair I felt a pang of guilt. She was having a hard time with Jared and I was getting cozy with Jacob again.

"She is a good young woman." Mr. McBride murmured. He turned to me. "And so are you Sonia."

**Remember to review. I listen to all you have to say. The good and the bad. Besos.**


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49: Hope you like where I am going with this. Well, I have to leave for a month for work and I`m sorry but the updates won`t be coming as often. Thanks for all the lovely reviews from the last chapter. I`m sorry if I`m putting a bit more focus on other characters but it`s important for the story. (I love Kim and Jared.) Anyways, happy reading and I hope you enjoy reading. **

**Coming up next: Jacob and Jared give Sonia and Kim their silent support. Edward warns Sonia away from Bella. Utlapa`s force is drawing more negative energy to La Push. Sonia`s mom tells her a secret about her father. **

"Hey Kim! Wait up! I`ll walk with you." I called after her, spotting her at the top of a steep road. I felt like Kate Bush running up that hill. Kim stopped and waited for me to catch up.

"Sure. It would be nice to have some company you know." She smiled sadly and stuffed her hands into her pockets.

We stomped our way through the mud and rain, knowing that it was an inevitability as to when Jared or Jacob, or both, would find us. What a sad and creepy thought right?

"I like your raincoat." I told her, trying to talk about something normal.

"Thanks...I bought it online." She looked down at the lilac coat, inspecting it.

"What shop?" I enquired farther, feeling silly at asking the question. But we needed to talk about something as mundane as clothes.

"Topshop. I think you would like it."

"Cool."

"Yeah."

We lapsed into silence. Kim kept on casting looks into the woods bordering the narrow road. If I was feeling the pull then she was too I supposed.

"I think they`re coming." I said.

"I know." She murmured, her chin tucked into her chest.

"Kim! Sonia!" I heard Jacob call from behind us. I stopped and turned around but Kim gave Jacob only one glance and kept on walking. I stood between the two, not knowing whether to follow Kim or go to Jacob.

"You okay?" Jacob asked, coming towards me, topless and wet.

"Yeah. Why wouldn`t I be?" I asked innocently. His eyes flickered towards Kim`s retreating figure.

"What are..." He stopped himself and thought for a second before continuing. I already knew what he was really going to say. "Where are you coming from?"

"Mr. McBride`s. I met Kim when she was taking a walk." I said loudly. Hoping that she could hear me.

"Kim!" Jared appeared out of the woods and strode towards her.

"Hey." She muttered, stopping hesitantly.

"Hey?" He repeated. I felt my stomach twist painfully at the thoughts of what Kim would be feeling at the moment. I started to walk slowly towards them with Jacob following me.

"They are okay Jared. They were just walking." Jacob told him.

"Yeah Jared. Just taking a walk. Is that okay?" Kim asked Jared with a fake sweetness. Jared`s face paled visibly.

"Kim..." I said. She looked ashamed of herself.

"Sorry Jared.." She whispered up at him. "I just...I don`t feel well."

"Getting some fresh air right?" He asked, giving me a penetrating glare. He knew that we were up to something.

"Yeah...Where`s Noah?" She asked.

"Emily looking after him. Do you want to keep on walking or do you want to go home?" He asked her.

"Get Noah and go home." She answered. Jared nodded and they walked ahead of me and Jacob.

"How was Mr. McBride today?" Jacob asked me after a couple of minutes.

"The usual. He seems get more and more meaner every weekend."

"Yeah? You know I can get you sent to someone nicer if you want." He offered.

"Nah. He`s nothing I can`t handle. I think he`s just lonely. Not used to people."

"If you say so. I can come over and scare him to be nicer maybe?" I laughed.

"No thanks. You`ll probably give him a heart attack..." I felt a terrible heartache as I thought of my nana. Jacob took my hand and walked in closer to me.

"What are you doing now?" He asked me.

"Going home. Having some lunch. Getting some homework done. And you?"

"I suppose I should do the same. You wanna do homework together?"

"Sure. My math grade has taken a hit since you stopped doing my homework for me." Jacob chuckled and squeezed my hand a bit.

"Sorry about that."

Jared stopped suddenly and turned towards us. Oh God what now?

"How the fuck can you act so fucking normal when you know that your imprint is hiding something important from you? What is it with this stupid fucking act you`ve got going on?" He snarled in Jacob`s face. Holy crap I so didn`t need this right now.

"Jared! Leave them alone!" Kim shouted at him. "It`s none of your business what they do."

"Like nothing is my business anymore right Kim?" She just gave him a blank stare that was a little unsettling and started walking again. Jacob and I gave each other a look.

"Kim! Don`t walk away from me like a little kid! TALK TO ME!"

"I`m going to get Noah."

"He`s well looked after at Emily`s. You don`t see her screwing Sam over do you? You would know that she would care enough to tell him what`s going on and not leave her son to run off on some stupid misguided adventure." He said nastily. Oh My God! He didn`t just go there did he? Kim flinched at his words like they were slaps to the face. Her face was a picture of pure shock and hurt before it turned into a mask of blazing fury.

"You really believe that? Huh? YOU REALLY FUCKING THINK THAT?" She yelled right into his face as her height would allow. Jared said nothing. He just looked unusually lost for words and dumbfounded. "You can`t even bother to deny it can you? I thought that you loved me enough to understand. To show a little trust in me but you can`t can you? You`re so arrogant that you think that you know best all the time. You have so little fate in me that you think I can`t take care of myself."

"No...Kim...I`m sorry I said that okay...just let`s go home and talk about this." He tried to hold her but she backed away from him. She was having none of it.

"You want your perfect imprint? You want your perfect little wife?" She reefed her engagement ring off her finger and pushed it into Jared`s hand. "Then why don`t you go ask Emily to marry you then if you think she will make a better mother and imprint then me." She said spitefully. Jared looked at the ring in his open hand silently, not moving. It was like watching the calm before the storm. Kim turned away from him and strode purposely up the road.

"Kim..." Jared whispered. Starting to shake. Jacob pushed me behind him roughly before crouching and getting ready to spring on Jared before he could take off after her.

"Get the hell outta here Sonia." Jacob yelled before he morphed in a blinding flash of speed and fur at the same time as Jared did. I watched in fear as Jacob wrestled Jared`s wolf into the woods. The growling was terrifying. I knew that Jacob was having a hard time keeping Jared in control, in check. If he tried to go after Kim like this... I ran. I ran after Kim but she was running faster. Damn that girl could move like lightning.

"Kim wait!" I hollered. "Please..." I panted out. She just ignored me and kept on going. I could only follow. Damn...did she really mean to break off her engagement? But what he said...that was hitting below the belt. To call her a bad mother, that was a cheap shot. So, she ran on with me hot on her heels. All the way to Emily`s without a backwards glance. Once she got there she barged inside and emerged several seconds later with Noah in his car seat and his baby bag flung over her shoulder. A panicky faced Emily followed her out of the house.

"Kim! What`s going on?" Kim didn`t answer, just walked on.

"Emily...don`t..." I came to a halt in front of her and crouched on the ground. I had the biggest cramp in my side.

"What happened to her?" Emily asked as she watched Kim place Noah securely in the back of Jared`s Honda then get in herself.

"She and Jared just had a fight." I replied as we watched Kim drive off.

"One helluva fight." Sam said from behind us. When did he get here? "She gave Jared back his ring." He informed Emily before giving me an angry look. What the hell? This wasn`t my fault.

"She what?" Emily gasped.

"She didn`t mean it. She was just angry." I defended her.

"Yeah? So is Jared. He doesn`t deserve this!" Sam growled.

"And Kim deserves being pushed around? Like her feelings don`t matter?" I challenged.

"Jared doesn`t push Kim around! He would do anything for her!" Emily said.

"So whatever game you and Kim are playing it stops right now! GOT IT!" Sam barked right at me.

"That`s all we are huh? Little girls playing at grown up games?" I gave him my best bitch face before walking off myself.

"Tell us what`s going on Sonia! Do you know what it`s doing to Jacob and Jared?"

"I know but they are just going to have to suffer it."

"That`s a horrible thing to say and to do. If you love Jacob you would tell him."

"You fucking hypocrite. Like you loved Leah? Like you told her what you had become?" Sam`s face reddened with rage. "You had a big fucking secret to keep didn`t you Sam?"

"That`s different? Leah isn`t my imprint."

"So what?" I snarled. "Did it mean you didn`t love her nonetheless. Or maybe you didn`t. Maybe you were glad to be shot of her." I knew I was pushing it but I couldn`t help myself. Sam had royally pissed me off.

"You fucking know nothing about me and Leah!" He whispered lowly, getting right in my face. I stood firm though. I wasn`t backing down.

"I know enough Sam. How she could still love you?...does that feel good? Still having her around and then going home to Emily?" I drawled sweetly. Sam looked like he wanted to smack me.

"Get the fuck outta here!" He said, taking a step back from me. "Fucking leave!"

"I`m going." I turned to Emily who was watching me with a cold expression. "Sorry Emily." And I left. So...add Emily and Sam to my list of people I need to apologize to. So where do I go now? To Kim? See if she`s okay? I started in the direction of her house. She lived only fifteen minutes from here walking anyway...or was it longer?

* * *

><p>It took me a half hour but when I eventually did get there I found Kim packing some bags in her bedroom.<p>

"Are you really leaving him?" I asked, sitting down in her bed.

"What else can I do? I gave him back the ring didn`t I?" She knelt on the floor and placed her head in her hands for a couple of seconds.

"Maybe you should wait until he comes back home? Talk to him first right?"

"That`s the smart thing to do but...I already called my dad to come and pick me up." And Kim`s dad sure as hell didn`t like Jared. Mr. Carrillo thought that Jared had fucked up Kim`s future.

"You love him Kim." I told her.

"I love him more than anything."

"Then don`t leave like this. When I broke up with Jacob...it was hell. And we didn`t have what you and Jared have. Just think it over."

"He won`t stop hounding me though. And I don`t think I`m strong enough to keep this from him any longer. If I have to look into his eyes and lie again I will die."

"Kim...this is just a mess. I`m sorry."

"You didn`t do anything Sonia so stop feeling sorry for yourself."

She stopped what she was doing as we heard male voices outside the house. I left the bedroom and went into the living room. Jared came through the door followed by Jacob and Leah. Kim appeared at the bedroom door and didn`t look at anyone.

"Can you all leave so I can talk to Kim alone." Jared growled. He cupped Kim`s face tenderly and looked at her. Begging her to give him that. "Please Kim..."

"Yes..." She whispered, still not looking at him. He breathed a sigh of relief as he led her into their bedroom and shut the door behind them.

"Come on...I don`t think they want us here." I said, walking outside.

"We need to stay in case Jared loses it again." Jacob told me in a carefully level voice. Was he angry at me too? I looked at Leah. She was watching me strangely but with no hostility. They must have heard what I said to Sam.

"He won`t will he?" I asked.

"No he won`t. He`s terrified of losing Kim over this." Leah began. "He has figured that it is better to have Kim in his life hiding something than pushing her away over it."

"He said some pretty mean things to her." I grumbled. Poor Kim has been on an emotional rollercoaster.

"He`s a douche." Leah said.

"He`s scared." Jacob corrected her. Leah just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"She`s called her dad to come and collect her."

"We know. Jared is trying to convince her to stay before he gets here. Sounds like it`s not really working." Jacob said.

"Hey...stop listening."

"Can`t help it. Listen, I`ll take you home after this." Jacob put his arm around my shoulders.

"Kim`s dad is here." Leah said, turning her head in the direction of the road coming from the beach. Sure enough, Mr. Carrillo`s black work truck came into view and stopped about twenty feet away from us. He got out of the car with a face like thunder and bypassed us without a glance or a hello and went straight inside the house.

"Kim? Come on. Get your things." We could hear him order.

"She`s not going with you." Jared yelled. Then Noah started crying.

"She is my daughter! She called me to collect her." There was some more yelling that I tired really hard not to listen to.

Mr. Carrillo came out of the house a couple of seconds later carrying two of Kim`s bags and threw them into his truck. He lit a cigarette and waited. Kim came out a couple of minutes later with Noah. Jared didn`t follow her out. She came up to us. Her face was pale and tear stained.

"I`m going to stay with my parents for a couple of days." She said.

"I`ll come over and see you soon." I hastened to tell her. She needed support.

"Thanks...so..." She looked over at the house to where Jared was standing in the doorway. Her dad honked the horn angrily which made Kim jump. She took a couple of steps towards the car before looking back at Jared. Would she go or would she stay? Jared nodded at her and she left.

* * *

><p><strong>Jacob`s POV<strong>

'This is fucking bullshit.' Jared told me, as we were padding around the leaf litter on the forest floor. 'How the fuck are we supposed to find some cave that may or may not exist.'

'They are not going to tell us Jared! We just have to see if there is some truth to this because they are freaking out.'

'Why can`t they just tell us?' Jared wondered aloud for the millionth time.

'Sue and Grace has sworn them to secrecy. It must be something important.'

'I feel like I don`t know Kim anymore.' Jared said, so depressed. It was really awkward hearing those type of thoughts coming from him.

'Do you think it`s more than what`s going on right now?' I asked carefully. I could immediately feel Jared going defensive but he recognized the truth in my words.

'My mom thinks that Kim has post natal depression.'

'Really? What do you think?'

'I think she`s overwhelmed. I feel so guilty man! I knew I went too fast with her.'

'She didn`t do anything she didn`t want to dude.'

'Yeah but...Kim is sensitive...she doesn`t tell me everything.'

'Neither does Sonia.' I countered. Sonia...God knows what things I didn`t know about her.

'With Sonia what you see is what you get. The same with you Jake.' I let my mind wander back to Sonia and what we almost did last night...Ahhh shit! Why did I have to scare her before? I could still smell her sweet scent when she was turned on...

'Yeah...so...you get on my case when I think about Kim like that?'

'Do you really think there`s some sort of...thing...after them?'

'Now...I`m thinking that there is... It has gotten Kim scared enough.'

'Sonia too. For some reason they can`t tell us though. Do you think it effects us?'

'Maybe. We just don`t know do we?' Jared`s frustration was infectious. As much as I wanted to believe that Sonia knew what she was doing I couldn`t shake the feeling that my beautiful, precious girl was getting involved with something that was too big for her. My Sonia...my sweet little bluebird...if something happened to her and I failed to protect her then...

'I asked my dad if he remembered where Sonia was found. He said somewhere around here by Old man McBride.' No point in asking Sonia`s mom, she wouldn`t tell me. Kim couldn`t remember anything and if she could...

'She won`t say. When she had that first dream months ago...she said she got lost looking for her dog. So how far can a little girl walk into the woods?'

'It`s...' A noise caught both me and Jared off guard.

'Jingle...Jingle come back...' A little girls voice. What the hell? Jared`s heartbeat got unusually faster.

'That`s...Kim...' What? Kim was nineteen not... but Jared had already taken off. Crap...I felt his fear.

'Jingle come back...please...' The little girls voice called. Then we saw her...but...it can`t be...It was mini Kim. Those eyes...her face...it was her...Jared phased back behind a tree and but on his cutoffs at light speed before approaching the mini Kim.

"Kimi...hey..." He called out to her, crouching on the ground in front of her. But there was something wrong...she didn`t hear him or acknowledge him. She just kept on running as fast as her little legs could carry her. I phased back myself. This has gotten to a whole new level of strange.

"What was that?" I asked, freaked out. Jared followed little Kim as she ran away.

"Is it some sort of...memory? Some sort of imprint of what..."

"Listen!" I stopped him. I heard another voice this time...one that was scarily familiar. More little footsteps treading in the woods.

"Who are you?" I heard little Sonia`s voice ask. I ran... My imprint...my girl...what the hell is going on?

"Sonia!" I yelled. Jared had followed memory Kim to where ever she was going. Maybe she could lead me to little Sonia?

"Listen...See..." A bodiless voice whispered. A female voice. It took me a while to figure out that she was speaking Quileute. "Don`t be afraid." Jared and I locked eyes. He heard it too...it was talking to us.

"I don`t want to go in there." I heard little Sonia again. Then...then I found her...little Sonia...two long braids and denim dungaree`s...standing at the mouth of a tiny little opening in a jumble of moss covered boulders.

"Whose doggie is inside?" She asked, sitting down on her knees and peering inside.

"My doggie!" Memory Kim called, running over. But memory Sonia had already crawled inside the mouth of the little cave. "Hey wait!" Kim called, running to the cave as well and following Sonia inside.

Then the screaming started...Horrible gut wrenching screaming...that sound would haunt me for the rest of my life...my Sonia...then it stopped...

Jared and I were rooted to the spot. Staring at the mouth of the cave, covered with overgrowth. What was weird was that while the flora surrounding the cave was the usual lush green the area around the cave was dead, like anything that happened to grow there just died.

"What just happened Jake?" Jared asked, shaken, staring into the cave.

"I don`t know man..." I trained my ears, trying to pick up Sonia`s voice over at her house. I sighed in relief when I heard her talking to her mom about dinner.

"Something hurt my Kimi in there! Something dared put it`s had on my imprint!" Jared growled. I knew what he was feeling...and it was rage inducing.

"Do we tell them what we saw?" I asked unsure. I knew Sonia didn`t want me to know everything but...I can`t forget what had just happened.

"You don`t say anything." A voice said. Jared and I spun around. Old man McBride? How the fuck did he sneak up on us without us hearing?

"What are you doing here?" Jared demanded.

"Showing you why you need to leave this alone. Why you need to leave your women be." He said, pulling an old jumper over his bare chest.

"Who are you?" I asked, a little scared.

"Who I am is none of your concern. But I`m going to tell you some things and you better listen carefully."

**I`m a bit eh with this chapter but I hope you will review and tell me what you think. Besos. **


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50! Oh my God. It seems like only yesterday that I started this! Thanks so much for sticking with this and for all your wonderful reviews. **

**Happy reading and I hope you enjoy!**

"Who are you?" I asked again. Old man McBride gave me an x-ray stare.

"Who do you think I am Jacob?" He asked.

"A creepy old recluse that lives on the rez." I answered.

"If you knew that already then why ask the question in the first place?" He countered.

"What happened? Just now?" Jared asked. "How did we see that?"

"Because I showed you. I showed you my memory. The two girls, Sonia and Kim, found this place. A place I was supposed to be guarding but...I slipped up."

"What is this place? What were you guarding?" I asked. I just saw a whole lot of scary shit involving my imprint and no way was I settling for less than the truth.

"This place? It`s a cave. You must be dumber than you look."

"Listen here old man..."

"NO! You listen here Jacob Black! You listen to me good! You know too much already. What I showed you I showed out of the kindness of my heart. I know how it feels to see an imprint in trouble but do not make the same mistake I did. Leave those girls be!"

"What will happen if we get involved?" Jared asked, advancing towards him. Old man McBride regarded him.

"Do you trust your imprint Jared?"

"How do you know Kim is my imprint? How do you even know this stuff?"

"Use your brain boy. How could I know this stuff? You already know the answer."

"You`re a wolf." I said in wonder. How in hell?

"True."

"Then how come we can`t hear your thoughts? How does nobody know about you?" Jared accused.

"Because I`m not part of your pack. And I don`t want anyone to know about me."

"Why should we trust you?" I asked. Old man McBride sighed.

"Because if you want to help your women, If you really want to protect this land and our tribe than you will. You have no reason to trust me I`ll grant you that."

"I don`t know what to believe anymore." Jared muttered, running his hands through his hair.

"There are some things you can`t know, and you can`t know them for a reason. But trust your women. Don`t push them away. Trust them like they trust you. They need your support."

"How can we support them when we don`t know what`s going on?" I asked. My mind kept on going back to Sonia. I kept so much from her in the past, I treated her horribly. How could I even be angry at her for keeping this from me? And she was even honest about it! She told me something was going on but she couldn`t tell me. She was telling me without telling me. Goes to show how much better she is than me.

When I thought back to last night. The way she held me. The way she wanted to be held. She needed me...and I was going to help her anyway I could. I owed her so much.

"Do I really need to say it again?" Old man McBride backed away from us. "Look after them. You are stronger together than separate."

Then he morphed into an old grizzled grey wolf. He stood, even taller than Sam, and watched us for a couple of seconds before darting off into the woods and disappearing.

"Do we trust him?" Jared asked, staring in the direction were he ran off.

"It`s for Sonia and Kim. We have to trust them."

"It`s hard Jake. When I look at Kim I just want to keep her safe. She`s my girl. To know that she`s hurting is the worst feeling in the world. She`s the sweetest, kindest most non-threatening girl I know."

"She`s strong. All the imprints are. They are part of us. But I understand what you mean."

"I love her Jake. Since the minute I laid eyes on her. Fuck...every time I look at her now it`s still the same."

"She loves you too." I just wish he would shut up. He was distracting me. I was trying to figure out this shit and I didn`t need Jared going all pansy on me.

"She does. But she`s still afraid of me. Unsure."

"Sonia is too." I muttered, looking into the mouth of the cave. It was such a fucking creepy place.

"Yeah but you gave her reason." Jared countered, looking inside too.

"Fuck you man. At least I didn`t ignore Sonia for years."

"Shut the fuck up Jake!"

"Don`t call me out if you can`t handle it yourself."

"Listen...I`m going to get Kim. I`m going to talk to her and bring her home before her dad poisons her more against me."

"Impossible. If he hasn`t done it already then I think you`re safe."

"Go to Sonia too. She will be missing you." Jared stood up and stripped. Tying his cutoffs to his thigh he turned to me again. "We can`t let on we know anything more than we already do. If they get wind of this then...just let them do what they need to do. We`ll keep and eye on them."

"Good plan. We`re not stalking them though right?" Jared gave me a scornful look.

"I have never stalked Kim and I don`t plan on doing it now. Just when we think they`ll be doing something dangerous is all."

"I don`t know man..." I started. I so didn`t want to break Sonia`s trust like that, especially since I was beginning to win it back. I liked the way she looked at me now. The way her eyes weren`t guarded like they used to be.

"What do we do then Jake? Let them get hurt? What if something goes wrong and we`re not there?" Jared reasoned. I knew his mind was already made up.

"Fine...just...let`s not be too obvious about it."

"When have I ever been too obvious about something?" Jared gave me a punch on the arm before morphing and running off.

Taking another look at the little cave I suddenly came out in goose bumps. This place...no way would I let Sonia come back here. Christ she must have been traumatized afterwards. My heart bled for her. No wonder she was so tough. Coming out of an experience like that.

* * *

><p><strong>Sonia`s POV<strong>

"Jacob, hey!" I said as I led him inside my house and into the kitchen. He had his schoolbag with him. So he was serious about doing homework then?

"Hey bluebird." He said softly, looking at me a bit strange.

"What did you get up to when you left with Jared?" I asked. I had been texting Kim since she left to go home with her dad. Her parents had been trying to convince her to move back home with Noah. I wasn`t so convinced that being there was the best thing for her right now but...that`s something she has to sort out.

"This and that. Talking with him and stuff." He said sadly. He was still eyeballing be weird.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" I asked, taking a can of coke from the fridge and offering him it. He took it and let his fingers linger on my hand for a couple of seconds.

"You`re beautiful..." He told me. The way he said it though...

"You too." I told him back. He blushed and stepped in closer to me.

"If...if you ever get into trouble...if you ever feel scared...just call my name...I`ll come to you." He encircled me in his arms and rested his cheek on the top of my head. Feeling suddenly overcome with a whole bunch of different emotions I nodded into his chest while I placed my hands on his hips.

"I`ll remember to do just that." I breathed in his woodsy, musky scent and felt contented. How easy it would be to tell Jacob what was going on right now...but I couldn`t.

"Oh God!" My mom grumbled from the kitchen door. She was wearing a green face mask and looked like something from a bad zombie movie. "Teenagers and their hormones. You would think that one of you was going off to war or something!"

I pulled away from Jacob embarrassed. He coughed awkwardly and sat down at the table.

"Don`t you own a shirt Jacob?" Mom asked him, staring pointedly at his bare chest. He blushed deeply.

"Yeah I...came here straight from patrol. I didn`t have time to pick one up."

"I suppose you are staying for dinner? You like halibut?"

"Yeah...I love it actually."

"Great. You`ll love it even more if Sonia makes it."

"Mom! Thanks for telling me that I`m making the dinner tonight."

"I`m not raising a lazy girl." Mom left the kitchen and padded back to her bedroom. I turned to Jacob.

"You really like halibut?" I knew he preferred meat but this boy would eat anything.

"Eh yeah! Dad used to be a fisherman you know. Brought home all sorts of great fish." Why was Jacob still looking at me strange?

"Is...is Sam real angry with me?" I ventured. Jacob grimaced but looked defiant.

"Yeah but he has no right bossing you round. If anyone dared try that with Emily it would be a different story."

"I said some pretty nasty things to him."

"Nothing that wasn`t the truth. With Sam...it`s easier to ignore things. He`s just worried about you. He sees you as a little sister."

"But I`m not though. Listen...I`m sorry if I`m putting you in an awkward situation."

"You`re not. I understand Sonia. This must be very important if you`re keeping it secret."

"Yeah but...it`s a secret everybody seems to know about now." I grumbled. The pack will just complicate things now.

"I`ll get them to back off. I promise you. I swear it." Jacob pulled me onto his lap and held me close.

"Thanks Jacob. I really need you behind me on this." He looked at me fully. Searching my face with his fingers and eyes. Something was bothering him. I could tell.

"Tell me what`s on your mind." I asked him.

"I was just thinking about Old man McBride." Huh? Shit...don`t let the shock show on your face Sonia. I laid my cheek on his chest so he couldn`t see my reaction.

"Why?"

"Does he seem...odd to you?" Jacob asked carefully.

"Well...yeah. He`s so moody."

"Other than that? Do you feel safe when you are around him?"

"Course Jacob. He`s just an old man. He`s not a pervert or anything."

"I didn`t mean that...You don`t get any bad vibes off him right?"

"No. He`s just lonely I think." Yeah, and a fucking centuries old wolf. Another secret I have to keep.

"Lonely...Sonia..."

"Jacob?"

"Nothing." He exhaled loudly and shifted me on his lap.

"I should get started on dinner. You`re helping me right?" I got up off his lap and went over to the fridge.

"Sure. Just tell me what do do."

"You can skin and fillet this." I handed him the halibut with a smile.

"I`ll fuck it up." He looked at the fish like it was a bomb waiting to explode.

"If those giant fingers of yours can make something as delicate as this.." I linked my finger around my necklace and held it up. "...then the fish should be a piece of cake."

"Fine. You got me. So...one halibut, skinned and filleted."

* * *

><p>On monday afternoon Kim picked me up after school for our little trip to Forks regarding Bella.<p>

"So, we get to Forks. And then what?" Kim asked as she drove us out of La Push.

"Dunno. Stake out her house or something?" I said, liking the idea in a weird way.

"Seriously? Stake out her house? And then what? See if Utlapa is in there having coffee with her? Planning the demise of the Quileute?" Kim scoffed. Wow...okay Kim. No need to go all Jared on me. She drummed her knuckles on the steering wheel. Deep in thought. "If I wasn`t so chicken shit I would snoop around in her house."

"We could you know...If her dad isn`t there and she`s out at the leeches then..." I said carefully, knowing Kim was thinking about it.

"We have to be careful. The leech would know we were there. They have super smell powers too right?"

"Shit you`re right." Looks like that plan has gone out the window.

"We could risk it but...what would we be looking for? Written evidence?"

"Something. Anything."

"It`s a bad idea. The leech would smell us and it would start shit with the pack."

"True. So...we can`t follow her cause she will have her body guards protecting her."

"I don`t get it with her you know? Why are the leeches so obsessed with this girl? It`s like she`s their pet or something."

"Maybe they have something to do with Utlapa?"

"We have no way of finding out. We can`t just go marching up to their masouleum demanding answers. They`d either laugh at us or eat us and I don`t really feel like finding out which one."

"Will we just confront her?" I asked. Kim though for a while on that one.

"Seems like the best plan. Just lets hope the leech isn`t with her. If he can read our thoughts then..." Kim grimaced.

"He`ll know what we`re up to. We just keep going round in circles. It`s like she`s untouchable."

"Or maybe..." Kim said hesitantly.

"What?"

"We can lure her to the rez..." She said. "It`s the only place the leech can`t follow her. The only place where he can`t hear us."

"Oh my God! That`s it! So..how do we get her here?"

"Use Jacob as bait?" She said, looking for my reaction.

"Use Jacob...I don`t know Kim...I don`t know if he`ll even go for that."

"We can tell him that we need to talk to Bella about something...and the only way to get her here is if he invites her."

"The leech will smell a rat though. Maybe we could get Mr. Black to invite Chief Swan and Bella over for dinner or something?"

"That would be better. Good thinking Sonia." Kim nodded and smiled at me. Praise felt so good coming from her.

"Cool so...we still going to Forks?" I asked her.

"Nah, we should go home and fine tune the plan." Kim did a perfect u-turn and headed back to the rez.

"Going back to your home or to your parents home?" I asked.

"My home. My mom and dad are driving me nuts."

"Plus you miss Jared." I teased her. She giggled.

"Horribly. Noah misses his daddy too." She sighed.

"You should go back home and surprise him. You know, naked on the bed with rose petals and all that shit." I laughed as Kim blushed.

"I don`t have the balls to do that. I think Jared would literally die if I done something like that."

"He wouldn`t. He would love it I bet. Get some baby oil...scented candles..."

"Shut up! Man Sonia! I don`t think I would look that good covered in baby oil. I`m all stretch marked."

"Bullshit. You`re hot. I bet Jared doesn`t care about that type of stuff."

"Yeah but..I do. Sad but true."

"How was...you know...your first time with him?" I was curious. Kim bit her lip and smiled.

"It was...wow. It was my first time too. When I first saw his dick I nearly screamed it was so huge. But it was perfect. He did everything to make sure I was okay."

"Did he...was he...I dunno...kinda dominant? During it?" I wanted to know if it was the same for her like it was for me and Jacob.

"At the start no...but...as we got going he did get...kinda rough. But not in a bad way. I liked it. Why? Was Jacob like that?"

"Yeah...I liked it too though. I loved it actually. Just wondering. I can`t talk about wolf sex with Emily and Rachel."

"Enough said. Rachel is Jacob`s sister and Emily...is keeping herself for her wedding night." Kim looked like she was having a hard time not laughing.

"Do you think that`s why Sam is so grouchy? A serious case of blue balls?" We both laughed this time.

"Jared says that it`s hard for Sam having Leah around all the time. He remembers what they used to get up to and whatever."

"Poor Leah. I wish she would find someone."

"Me too."

"Do you want to help me get Noah and go back home?"

"You sure you don`t to spend more time at your folks?"

"Nuh-uh. My dad doesn`t know about the wolves and imprinting and stuff."

"Oh yeah that`s true."

"So he thinks that I`m just throwing my life away. Mom...mom understands a bit more but...she`s disappointed in me too."

"Noah is wonderful. When I have kids I want to do it just like you."

"When I found out...oh man! I was a month away from graduating. And then telling my mom and dad...that was one scene I`d like to forget."

"Were you scared telling Jared?"

"He knew sorta...he could smell the change in my body. What it meant was something he couldn`t quite put his finger on."

"Was he shocked?"

"A bit yeah. He was happy, overjoyed to be exact. The only thing he was worried about was taking care of us. Money you know."

"He got that sorted out quick enough." I smiled at Kim.

"He did. I feel so guilty. I`m going to talk to him properly tonight. He needs to know that I want to be with him."

"He knows."

After we picked up Noah and Kim`s stuff from her folks house we drove over to the Blacks house. We needed to get Mr. Black to do us the big favor of asking Charlie and Bella over.

"So what do I owe the pleasure of having the two most beautiful girls on the rez over?" Mr. Black asked us from the front door. Kim and I giggled appropriately.

"Ahh Mr. Black. If I wasn`t already taken..." I gushed.

"Come on in. And little Noah too? You girls have made my day."

We followed him into the kitchen. Kim gave Noah to Mr. Black to hold. Now...just to go about this the right way. Kim gave me a pointed look as Mr. Black was making faces at Noah to make him laugh.

"Mr. Black?" I ventured, heart hammering.

"Yes Sonia?" He said without looking up.

"Do you think...could you...maybe...invite Charlie and Bella over here for something...like dinner maybe?" I cringed inwardly as Mr. Black snapped his head up and looked at me like I was crazy.

"What for?" His voice all business now. He held out Noah for Kim to take him back.

"I feel bad for punching her in the mouth. I want to apologize."

"Like hell you do. Don`t lie to me Sonia. Sam already told me that you and Kim are up to something." Shit shit SHIT!

"You are making it sound like we are doing something bad! Please Mr. Black? It`s important." Kim begged.

"And why can`t you talk to Bella in Forks?"

"Because...the leeches will be around." I said.

"And you don`t want Edward to know what`s going on right?"

"It`s important that he doesn`t know." I answered him.

"No Sonia. I`m not doing it." Mr. Black shook his head and wheeled towards us. "We are well shot of her now and I don`t want her coming back here."

"But we have a good reason Mr. Black." Kim said.

"I don`t care what reason you have. Forget about getting me involved in this you hear." He sounded so angry.

"We should leave Kim." I said, going to the door.

"Why do you need to speak to Bella? What is it about?" Mr. Black called after us.

"We can`t tell you." I said,turning to face him.

"I told you before to come to me if you have any problems. You can trust me you know." Now I felt so guilty.

"I know I can but not with this Mr. Black."

"Sue knows doesn`t she? Her and Grace?" He asked. I nodded and Mr. Black sighed. Kim looked hopeful.

"I`ll think about it."

"Thanks Mr. Black." Both Kim and I said at the same time.

"I said I`ll think about it! It`s not a yes. It`s a maybe." We both rushed over to hug him.

"Think about it. Then tell us please?" Kim asked.

"I`ll tell you either way." Mr. Black promised.

* * *

><p>That night while I was doing my homework I heard some rapping on the front door. Hearing my mom answer it and then hearing Jacob`s voice I got excited. I couldn`t help when my heart went into overdrive when he was near. Smoothing my hair I went out to greet him.<p>

"Hey Jacob!" I said brightly. He looked a bit annoyed.

"Hey Sonia. Can we talk privately?" He asked, looking at my mom who quickly retreated back to the living room.

"Sure. We can talk in my room." Once inside Jacob shut the door behind him.

"What`s up with you asking my dad to get Bella over to the rez?" He asked, wasting no time telling me what was bothering him. I sat down on my bed.

"I need to talk to her."

"Why?"

"About...what`s happening."

"So you think she has something to do with it?"

"Maybe...or maybe not."

"Don`t speak in riddles."

"Please Jacob...It`s important."

"About that thing that lived in the cave. Look, I know that.." Jacob made a pained face. "It must have been horrible but...what does Bella have to do with it? She`s out of our lives Bluebird. It`s me and you now remember?" He knelt in front of me.

"Me and you Jacob. And I promise you, this is killing me not telling you. I want to but..."

"I know. I told you I don`t expect you to tell me."

"I`ll tell you when it`s over." I didn`t want him to be angry at me now.

"Stop pouting. Come on..." He rested his forehead against mine and gave me his puppy dog eyes.

"Stop!" I laughed. He looked so cute.

"What?" He stuck out his lower lip into a pout.

"Jacob! Please stop that." I giggled some more, wrapping my arms around his neck. I gave him my best sad baby eyes and his expression changed instantly.

"Oh God Sonia..." He took me in his arms and placed his mouth upon mine before I had time to think or react. When I responded to the kiss he moaned loudly which caused me to cream myself. I grabbed him by the hair to deepen the kiss.

Wanting him...wanting him here and now I forced off my sweats and panties. Jacob pulled up my t-shirt and sucked on my nipples, making me groan in pleasure.

"Jacob...Jacob my mom..." I panted out..."We need to be..ahhh...quiet..." Jacob nodded distractedly before pulling me onto the floor.

And we were as quiet as we could be...which was kinda hot. Jacob made love to me with slow deliberate strokes before increasing his speed. I came hard and bit on my lower lip to stop myself from crying out. Not long after Jacob came, growling low and shaking slightly. It was over after a couple of minutes but man...I wanted that...I needed it. So did he.

Jacob gazed at me lovingly, panting and a bit red in the face. No going back...no way no how...

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and I love reading what you have to say. Besos.**


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51. Sorry for such a long wait. I was working intensively in July and I was on holidays for the first half of August. Anyways. Hope you guys enjoy. Not really an interesting chapter but something important happens, I promise. It`s difficult getting into the swing of writing again. Happy reading and remember to review. You guys are great for sticking with this for so long. **

"Which one do you like though?" Jacob asked me for the millionth time. Intertwining his fingers with mine behind my back he nudged me a little.

"I told you! I like them all!" I giggled at him. Both me and Jacob loved this little game. He huffed at me, pretending to be annoyed, and looked afresh at the glass display case that held the jewelry.

"If I had the money I would buy them all for you bluebird...but unfortunately your wolf is kinda broke at the moment." He lamented with a fake sadness which got me instantly guilty.

"Don`t worry Jacob..." I hastened to tell him. "...I have a silver bracelet already. You don`t need to get me a new one."

The saleswomen in the jewelers gave us a distasteful glare before stalking off to the other end of the counter.

"But I want to get you a new one." Jacob pleaded. "It`s not everyday I get you gifts you know."

"But you got me lots already!" I wrapped my arms around his waist and looked up at him.

"Correction. I made you lots. I should at least buy one of your presents. Besides. I need the bracelet for something else." He dropped his voice to a conspirital level.

"You have more things for me?" I questioned, maybe a little bit too enthusiastically.

"One more thing." He admitted, a smile curving his mouth. He traced his thumb along my cheekbone and kissed me on the top of my head. "Come on! Choose! And not the cheapest one either. I know you."

"Okay okay...this one." I pointed at a thin silver bracelet with small loops. It was pretty and not too expensive, something Jacob could afford and feel proud of.

"You sure?"

"Yes. It`s the nicest one."

"Okay then. Excuse me." He called over to the snotty saleswoman. She slowly made her way up to us.

"Has the lady finally chosen something to her taste." She gave me a long sweeping look and smiled thinly. Who does the bitch think she is? This isn`t Cartier for fucks sake!

"The lady has. We want to see this bracelet." Jacob said gruffly, pointing to the one I had choosen. The woman unlocked the glass display case and took it out.

"A good choice. In your price range at least." She said smoothly, laying the bracelet out on the counter. I looked at her in shock because of her blatant rudeness. I could feel Jacob tremble a tiny bit beside me.

"Meaning?" Jacob accused angrily. Her eyes widened as she regarded Jacob fully. Let her feel scared. Serves her right. We waited for her to respond.

"Meaning...two teens can`t possibly afford something..." She looked around desperately. "...like this for example." She gestured towards an ugly ruby necklace in the wall cabinet. She smiled weakly. Jacob picked up the bracelet and studied it.

"This isn`t you Sonia. We should look somewhere else." He handed back the bracelet to the saleswoman and practically dragged me out of the jewelers and into the rainy street.

"Where else can we get a fucking bracelet?" He growled angrily.

"Forget it Jacob. Come on! Don`t let her get to you!" I pleaded with him.

"Nobody talks to me like that! Or looks at you like you were something..." He didn`t finish what he was going to say. I sighed and pulled up my hood against the rain.

"Looks at me like I was something stuck to the bottom of their shoe you mean?" I asked lightheartedly. "I`m used to it Jacob so don`t get all bothered."

"Used to it? People should treat you with respect."

"Not everybody is going to look at me through your eyes Jacob."

"They should." He said simply. I smiled at him and squeezed his arm.

"You wanna grab a coffee? I`m freezing out here."

"Whatever you want. And food too?"

"Sure. I`m starved. I`m totally craving a cheese burger at the moment. And a milkshake! Yumm!"

"I thought you wanted a coffee?" Jacob laughed. His face bright as he looked down at me.

"Meh...food sounds better. So. Where to captain?"

"That diner near the pier? What`s it called?"

"Greg`s? No...The Seafront Diner! Cool."

* * *

><p>"Sonia."<p>

"Mmmm?" I grunted at him with a mouth full of burger. He was looking at me seriously. Swallowing what I had in my mouth hastily I took a sip of my milkshake and cleared my throat.

"Is everything okay...you know...your problem I mean." He looked at me intently. I knew he wouldn`t be content with a simple shoulder shrug.

"I don`t know how to answer that question Jacob. It hasn`t gotten any worse if that`s what you want to know."

"What I want to know is that you`re handling this." Jacob answered a bit short. He reached over the plastic table and took my hand. "I`m sorry that my dad refused to invite Bella and her dad over." This time I shrugged.

"It wasn`t the best thought out plan anyway." I popped a french fry into my mouth and stared out the window.

Mr. Black had refused to invite Bella over without a proper explanation of what me and Kim were up to. Jacob didn`t seem so sorry though. I knew he was glad that his dad had said no. That was two weeks ago now and me and Kim were no closer to figuring out this mess. To top it all off Mr. McBride was gone. Just gone. His place abandoned. I still went to his place everyday to see if he came back but...nothing. The nightmares had toned down a lot also. They were just creepy now. Or maybe I was just getting used to them?

"If you want me to help you with anything..."

"No Jacob." I said quietly, shaking my head. A gloomy silence hung between us, completely killing the mood. Continuing eating my burger I stared at the sparkly specks of gold on the table top. I knew Jacob was still looking at me.

Something had happened to him. He was more...careful around me now. More forgiving. Sometimes I would catch him eyeballing me strangely. A look I couldn`t put my finger on. After the last time we made love I thought he would try and get our boyfriend/girlfriend status back but no. If anything he acted like it didn`t happen. He didn`t even kiss me fully anymore. Just chaste pecks here and there. I didn`t really know how I felt about that.

I knew he was still 'proving' himself to me. To be honest I loved him this way. All the attention, all the little gifts he made. He was even fixing up my house and repairing things neither me nor my mom knew needed repairing.

I didn`t really know why he wanted to get me a bracelet though. Maybe he noticed that all my jewelry was mostly cheap crap and wanted to get me something nice?

"Jacob?"

"Yes?"

"Do you...do you think...that if I told you about what`s going on...that you could like...mentally block it from the pack or something?" I chanced a glance in his direction. He had his hamburger halfway to his mouth and looked a bit shocked. Shit! Should I have said that?

"I don`t think I could Sonia. No matter how much I wanted to."

"Okay then. Don`t worry."

"Don`t worry...I`ll try not to. Just tell me Sonia. The pack will help you and Kim. I`ll fix this."

"Jacob! Do you think that this is easy for me? Not being able to tell you? Not knowing what the fuck I`m doing sometimes? Not knowing what I`m supposed to do next! What makes you think that you have all the answers?" I was getting pissed now. "What makes you think that you can make any difference?" I stood up and fished ten dollars out of my bag and put it on the table. I fled the diner.

The rain was really coming down by the time I made half way up the boardwalk. The water was churning angrily and spraying me with salty water. I felt so hopeless at the moment. I had no fucking answers. I hadn`t solved anything. It was like I was waiting for the solution to this shit to fall magically into my lap. Or for some magic spell like in Harry Potter. But Utlapa was not Voldemort. He couldn`t be killed with a wand. It would be cool if he could though.

"Sonia!" Jacob came up from behind me but I kept on walking. He matched my pace and walked beside me. "Why are you crying?" He asked after a couple of minutes.

"Because I`m angry!" I yelled.

"I`m sorry I made you angry."

"You didn`t! It`s just..." I stopped and lent on the wooden railings with my head in my hands.

"I`m listening. I`m here for you." Jacob pulled me up and held me close to him. "Please baby."

"It`s too much Jacob. I don`t know what I`m doing...and I`m scared shitless." Jacob`s hold tightened on me for a second.

"Are you in physical danger?" He asked.

"No...I don`t think so."

"You don`t think so?"

Jacob tilted my head up and pulled back my hood. He looked so pained. Running his hands through my wet hair he bent down and kissed me passionately.

"Jacob..." I murmured as he pulled away.

"I`ll protect you. Always. Nothing will hurt you. Not while I`m still standing."

"I need you Jacob. I love you. Don`t leave me please. Don`t leave me again." I begged. Not knowing where this sudden fear sprang from. Jacob looked horrified.

"I`m never EVER going to leave you Sonia. Nothing can make me leave your side. NOTHING!"

"Promise me."

"I promise you Sonia. I`m never going away."

* * *

><p>Jacob drove us back to his from Port Angeles. And of course we ended up in his bed. I was struggling out of my wet undies as he was bending me over onto all fours. I was so fucking hot for him right now. I jumped slightly as he explored my inner thighs lightly with his finger tips.<p>

"Sonia...tell me you`re mine." He demanded, as he freed me from my panties.

"I`m yours." I replied easily and happily as he pressed his cock into me slowly. I couldn`t control the long moan of pleasure that escaped me.

The sex was rough and claiming and utterly exhilarating. I had trouble coming but I did in the end. When I did I came hard.

When we were finished I lay contented in Jacob`s arms. He was braiding my hair while I was spread over his chest. I didn`t want to leave him and go home. I didn`t want to go back home without him. Maybe my mom would be cool if Jacob slept over?

"Phone`s ringing." Jacob said, getting up and kissing my back.

"Come back soon."

"I will. You don`t have to worry about that." He promised cheekily.

I spread out luxuriously on the bed and closed my eyes. Jacob surely had me spent.

"Hey Sonia." Jacob said as he came back into the room. He switched on the main light and sat on the bed next to me.

"Yes handsome?" I smiled at him.

"I...on the phone. There was a call." Huh?

"A call? Are you sure?" I laughed at him but his expression remained serious. "From who?"

"From...somebody. A man who says he`s your father."

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better. Besos.**


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52: Hope you all enjoy. Thanks so much for all your lovely reviews on the last one. They are not as long or as good as I wanted but...I am a little busy and a bit rusty. Happy reading and remember, criticism welcome.**

"My father? My dad?" I choked out. What? This doesn`t make any sense. What?

"That`s what he said sweetheart."

I sat up on the bed and pulled his bed sheet around me. Jacob put his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my upper arm soothingly.

"Why was he calling here? What did he say?" I questioned him. My dad. After all this time.

"He said he knew that he could find you here. He asked me if you were safe." Jacob sounded angry.

"What did you say?" I rounded on him. He looked pleased with himself as he smiled down at me.

"I told him that if he called here again or your house for that matter that I would hunt him down and...well...not kill him exactly but..."

"Jacob! Why in God`s name did you say that for?" I shouted, hopping off the bed and pacing the small floor space.

"Why? `Cause the jerk thinks that he can call you up after how many years and hurt you! And your mom too Sonia! Do you think that I`ll let that happen?" Jacob defended himself.

"Gosh Jacob! Did...did he...ask to speak with me?" Jacob furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"Yes. I told him to fuck off though once I knew who was calling." He scratched his head and rested his elbows on his knees. "Would you even want to talk to him?"

"I dunno. Yes. No. Maybe. Shit...why is he calling? Why now?"

"He left you Sonia. You and your mom." Jacob said quietly from the bed.

"He got sent to prison. He didn`t leave us by choice." I whispered. We locked eyes.

"He choose to do what he did. He didn`t even keep in contact with you."

"He was ashamed. He thought that he didn`t deserve us."

"Sonia...how can you even know that? I know that...growing up without one parent is hard but..."

"My mom told me that. If she said that he wasn`t totally bad you know...that he loved us...loved me..." I suddenly felt so unsure. Jacob hopped off the bed and cuddled me. "But you`re right. How can a father love his daughter if he never keeps in touch you know. He...he..." I felt the tears welling up but I fought them back. "Why is he calling? Why now? And here?"

"I`m not saying he doesn`t love you. And I don`t know why he`s calling here."

"He must be in touch with somebody here. That is the only way to explain it."

"But who would know I`m here now?" I pressed.

"Fuck knows." Jacob muttered.

"Someone close to us. Who knows about us."

"His folks are dead right?"

"Granddad lives on the Spokane rez out east. His mom died when he was little." I hugged my arms around myself. There was something going on. Something we didn`t know about.

"Somebody then. Your mom maybe?" I fixed Jacob with a 'are you kidding me' stare. "Okay not your mom then. Do you want me to try and call the number back?" I thought about that for a while.

"No...no don`t bother."

"I`m sorry. I should have asked you first if you wanted to talk to him."

"You`re right. You should have. But I understand that you were just looking out for me. It would have been weird anyway."

I sat down at his desk and he sat back down on the bed. We both didn`t speak for a long time. Something new to add to the mix now. My dad calling my imprinters house. Knowing that I would be there. There was more to that than meets the eye that is for sure. He must be in contact with somebody here. Someone who know about my relationship with Jacob. Someone close to us. My mom? Could she have told him? Somehow I doubted it. One of the elders maybe? An old friend?

And why now? To make sure I was safe? Asking a person he shouldn`t know anything about that I was safe. He must know something. Maybe...maybe Mr. McBride found him and told him! No...no Sonia. Why would Mr. McBride seek out my estranged dad to tell him about me? That`s dumb. Real dumb.

"It`s getting late Sonia. Your mom is probably wondering when you`re getting back home."

"I should get back then." I didn`t want to go. I wanted to stay with him. When I got up I let the sheet drop to the floor and stood in front of Jacob totally naked. "You can stay with me tonight if you want." I offered. I saw Jacob`s penis harden and twitch and an emotion I couldn`t quite put my finger on came over me, making me feel a little scared.

"I`ll stay...if you say that you are my girlfriend again." He said in a husky voice, making me feel even worse.

"That`s blackmail." I scanned the room for my panties. Spotting them on the floor I grabbed them and hastened to pull them up.

"And what do you call what you are doing?" Jacob asked playfully, stopping me from pulling them up any farther.

"Getting dressed." I retorted. Jacob smiled and kissed my bellybutton before pulling up my panties the rest of the way.

"I`ll stay with you if you want. I think your mom`s on to us though." He got up and pulled on his boxers.

"She knows but she doesn`t say anything. She`s not going to."

"Cool. So now I can sneak into your bed more often then."

"I like having you sleep next to me. It makes me feel..." I was going to say safer but I bit my tongue. It was true. Whenever Jacob slept over I didn`t have the nightmares. Not intense ones anyways. The same for Kim. Her and Jared were almost back to the way they were before. She said her nightmares had toned down a lot too.

"..makes you feel like you want me back as your boyfriend?" Jacob asked hopefully. "I mean...we back to sleeping with each other again you know. I won`t hurt you again. I swear it. Can you let me back in Sonia?" I felt my heart tug at his words but something deep inside of me was telling me that this was not the right time. I shouldn`t have slept with him. It was wrong of me. Whenever I felt overwhelmed with things I ran to Jacob for comfort. Comfort meaning opening my legs for him.

"I`m...I`m sorry for...leading you on but...now isn`t the best time for me...or for you." I replied pathetically. Jacob`s face twisted in anger for a couple of seconds before he turned away and put on his jeans and a shirt. "I`m sorry." I whispered to his back.

"Stop saying you`re sorry!" He snapped, putting on his socks and trainers. I felt horribly foolish just standing there in my undies. Jacob left the room, slamming the door behind him. Great. Perfect. I scrambled into my damp clothes and followed him out. He was waiting at the door with his keys clutched in his hand.

"Jacob." I started but he made a beeline for his bike and left me following me him like a moron.

"Jacob! Wait up! Please!" I pulled at his arm to get him to acknowledge me.

"I thought you wanted to head back home?"

"Listen...please...you didn`t get what I was trying to say!" I begged.

"I got it. I told you, before I left for the battle, that I wanted more from you than just sex. It seems that sex is all you want from me."

"It isn`t! Please...you know it isn`t!"

"Come on! I thought...I thought everything I was doing...would prove to you that I was serious about you now." He looked so unsure. I was unsure.

"I know you`re serious about me." I muttered.

"What more do I need to do?" He complained like a child.

"You don`t need to do any more. I`m just not ready."

"You`re were all ready spreading your legs not an hour ago."

"I`m not ready emotionally."

"It will work out Sonia. You know it will."

"I don`t want to hurt you."

"How can you? You...love me right?" He looked scared. "Don`t you?"

"How can you even ask me that? You know I love you."

"Like before? The same?"

"I love you more than before." I admitted. "I don`t want to hurt you like...Kim hurt Jared. I don`t want to have that type of intense emotional relationship with you and have to keep something huge from you. It will make it worse Jacob."

"Maybe it will make you stronger?" Jacob said tenderly. "You said it right? We are stronger together."

"Do you know how much I want to say yes? I can`t though. Not until I sort this out."

"What will be the problem of getting back with me?"

"I can`t explain it Jacob. It`s just a feeling."

"Okay...okay then. Come on. Lets go." He handed me the helmet and straddled the bike. "Come on. It`s going to rain again. You might catch a cold." He started the ignition and waited for me to get on after him.

"Are you angry with me?" I asked. Still standing where I was with the helmet in my hands. Jacob raised his eyes to meet mine. They were angry, and guarded. He shook his head.

"No. I`m sorry if you think that." He lied. I nodded my head and put on the helmet and climbed on after him.

The smell was overpowering, too much...I didn`t like it...I don`t like being here. Why does it always take me here? The raccoon made another noise in front of me in the darkness...why here? I could feel the slime covering the rocks...I could smell the damp in the air...a heavy, suffocating smell. Why was I here?

"He won`t save you Sonia..." His voice echoed came from all around me. "He won`t want to."

"He loves me...I`m his imprint!" I shouted into the darkness. Laughter rang. Horrible...taunting...

"There will be another who he will love more. Another who he will have no problem leaving you for." More laughter. More of that fowl smell.

"LIAR!" I screamed into the darkness. "LIAR!" The laughter became louder before it stopped altogether.

"You put too much store by the imprint. But in reality beautiful one, it means nothing. Not when it comes to you and him. You should kill yourself now you know. It will spare you the pain of having him torn from you in the future. So simple child. It`s like going to sleep..."

"Stop it! STOP IT!" I screamed again.

"He won`t care...he`ll laugh in your face while you`re begging him to stay...he`ll leave...and you will never see him again...or you might...when he lets her feast on you perhaps..."

"STOP! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

"Sonia! Sonia!" I still heard the laughter ringing in my ears.

"Noooo...NO!" I was crushed against something awfully warm. I was being rocked. What the...

"Sssush, ssush, it`s okay...I`m here. Nothing will hurt you." Jacob? Was that him?

"Leave me alone..." I wailed, trying to free myself from his unrelenting hold on me. He loosened up a little but still didn`t let go.

"No Sonia. It`s okay. You`re okay. Calm down."

"I am calm. I`m calm okay. Please...I need water." With that Jacob let me go and I got out of my bed and away from him like he was on fire or some shit. I stumbled into the kitchen and drank two glasses of water. Shivering and sweating at the same time I clutched the edge of the sink.

What the fuck was that dream all about? Jesus...I could still smell that place...I could still feel his presence around me. I took deep, steadying breaths and willed my heartbeat to go slower. The stuff he said though...I knew I shouldn`t believe it but...

"Sonia?" Jacob whispered from the doorway. He sounded scared himself.

"Yes?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"You wanna talk about what you dreamed about?"

"No...no I don`t want to talk about it." I spotted my mom`s cigarettes on the counter. Grabbing them I took one out and lit it with a shaking hand. Jacob hated smoking, especially when I did it but...

"Sonia...this was the worst one yet..."

"How could you know that?" I challenged. He was right though. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I could feel it." He came up behind me and held me tight in his arms. "You`re scaring me. This is scaring me."

"It scares me too." I felt the tears overflow and trickle down my cheeks. Jacob turned me around to face him.

"We can leave here then. Go somewhere. Anywhere. I`ll keep you safe."

That sounded so tempting. We could go. We could leave. I had my savings. We could find work. We could live a normal life couldn`t we? All we needed was each other. Only me and him. Forget about everything. About our lives here. Our history here. We could get married. I could have his babies. Babies that looked like him and me but cuter. I could picture them. Beautiful. Happy.

"No." I shook my head. "I`m not leaving here."

"It`s your choice."

"It`s our choice. We can`t leave here. La Push needs us! Needs you! What would happen if we..."

"Sonia...Jacob..." My mom appeared in the kitchen doorway looking absolutely furious.

"Mom! I..."

"I should be in bed sleeping? Not arguing in the kitchen with my boyfriend right? Do you know what fucking time it is? I have to be up for work in three hours!"

"Sorry mom."

"She had another one of those dreams." Jacob rushed to tell her. "If you even care." He said caustically. Wow! Hold up there!

"Don`t talk to my mom that way!" I snarled.

"Sonia! I can defend myself! Jacob Black, don`t you dare use that tone of voice with me again! Understood?"

"If you cared you would let her tell me what`s going on!" He shouted furiously.

"Get out of this house!" Mom advanced on him with a face like thunder. "Don`t let me see you back here again until you come with a damn good apology. OUT!"

"Sonia?" Jacob questioned, turning to me.

"Just leave Jacob. We`ll talk tomorrow."

He looked like he wanted to punch something as he stalked out of the kitchen. I jumped as he slammed the door behind him. My mom took my cigarette from me and took a drag.

"Another dream then." She stated, looking out the window.

"Another one." I sat down at the kitchen table. I was utterly exhausted.

"What about?" She asked.

"He...he said Jacob would leave me...or some shit like that." I whispered.

"Do you believe that?" My mom handed back the cigarette. I took a long drag.

"To be honest...I can`t shake the feeling that he will. That something will big will happen."

"The two of you were meant to be remember." Mom smoothed my hair. "Don`t ever forget that. No matter what happens Sonia. Don`t ever stop believing that. That`s the truth you need to keep in your heart."

"What do you know mom? About this?"

"Your grandmother knew something. She was going to tell me but...she never got round to."

"And dad calling up today as well? You knew nothing about that?"

"I swear. I didn`t know baby girl."

**Remember to review. It only takes a second and it helps me write me. Thanks. Besos.**


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53: A very difficult chapter to write. The direction I want to take the story in is getting a bit complicated and I`m not that great of a writer to do it smoothly and without mistakes. Anyways. Thanks so much for sticking by me and the story and I hope you enjoy this. It`s really hard trying to write in the mindset of a teen and not a 26 year old woman. Happy reading and have fun reading. **

"Jacob!" I shouted over the car park of the school. He turned his head over to look at me ever so slightly and fixed me with an barely disguised angry stare. I faltered slightly in my path towards him but...this was Jacob...

I made my way up to him and tried to look into his eyes. It was horribly difficult.

"I`m sorry about last night." I said, taking in his sleep deprived eyes.

"Me too." His angry pout was back.

"I...I want to ask you something Jacob." Despite the innate sense of fear that was coursing through me I took his rough hand in my own.

"You want me to leave you alone again?"

"No...I want to ask you to be my boyfriend again...if you want I mean..."

Jacob stared at me a long time. A long, searching look. Like he was trying to see into me. If it was what I really wanted.

"Do you really think I`ll say no to that?" Jacob whispered.

"I`m serious about you Jacob. Crap...if...if you wanted to skip school today and get married I would fucking do it! I`d do it! Because I..."

I couldn`t finish. Jacob had his mouth on mine, burying what I was going to say into the back of my mind.

"Let`s skip school today...let`s get married..." He breathed into my ear. "Lets do it."

Looking into Jacob`s face I was overwhelmed with happiness. Pure, undiluted happiness. This was it. This was really it. Jacob took my hands and kissed them.

"Your heart is beating so fast." He laughed happily. "I love you. I love you so so much! My sweet Sonia. My beautiful girl..." Jacob broke off and cupped my face.

"And I love you. Why not make it official you know." I giggled. Jacob led me over to his bike as the warning bell rang for the start of classes.

"Let`s go before we get caught." Jacob`s eyes sparkled with mischief as he got on.

"Like that would stop us." I climbed on after him.

* * *

><p>"Jacob...let`s go to James Island. Lets do it there." I said into his ear as he drove us out of La Push. Jacob slowed down and stopped the bike.<p>

"James Island? Why there?" He asked puzzled. "How can we get married there? Do you really think we can get a reverend up there?"

"We can get married the old way. And if we were doing a religious service then I would want a priest, not a reverend." I smiled at him. He looked unconvinced.

"How can we get married the old way? I mean, we don`t do things that way anymore Sonia."

"Who says we can`t?"

"It`s not the same."

"Do you think it`s any less valid? I`m your spirit wife. What I want to do today is commit myself to you today, for forever. The Quileute way."

"The Quileute way? Really? So I should give your mom a present of some canoes in exchange for you?" He smiled faintly. "Or I can just kidnap you." He smiled more broadly now.

"It means so much more to me this way Jacob." I said seriously. "We can go afterwards to a church and have it legally recognized."

"We could. But we`ll go to James Island today. After we graduate, we can get married for real."

"But we are getting married for real!" I maintained, getting seriously disappointed in Jacob. Why couldn`t he see it that way? I was trying to commit myself to him in the most special way ever and he was acting like he was humoring me by doing it. What difference does it make anyway if we got married in a church? We were basically saying the same vows.

"If I`m your husband Sonia, I`m taking care of you. There can`t be any secrets between us. We go to that Island and you`re telling me everything that`s going on. I won`t budge on that."

"I`ll tell you as much as I can." I promised.

"Everything."

"As much as I can. I promise."

"Tell me something now." He pushed. My mouth went dry. Think Sonia Think!

"There...there is something out there, like a malevolent spirit, who wants to hurt the Quileutes."

"The thing in the cave?" He said as more than a statement than a question. I nodded.

"Who is it?" He asked. My heart was beginning to pound in fear. I knew I couldn`t tell him everything. I promised I wouldn`t and here I was ready to spill my guts out. I`m so weak it`s unreal.

"I don`t know." I mumbled, to the ground.

"You know. Come on Sonia. Tell me. I`ll protect you." He took me in his arms and I didn`t doubt that he would. Why not tell him.

"The spirit of..." I was cut off by a horrible furious howl of a wolf. Christ...I think I`m having a heart attack. Jacob sprang in front of me, arms outstretched, head darting in all directions.

"Jacob...who was..."

"Quiet! Someone`s phasing back!" He said harshly.

Sure enough, I heard heavy footsteps threading through the leaf litter of the forest floor. Mr. McBride! He looked livid. He was shaking.

"Stupid!" He spat out at me. "You had to do only one thing and you couldn`t keep your mouth shut could you? Stupid idiotic girl!" He advanced towards us.

"Don`t you dare speak to my imprint that way!" Jacob growled, advancing on Mr. McBride, showing him his full height and strength.

"And you! I knew I shouldn`t have shown you my memory. You just had to leave her be."

"Mr. McBride...Jacob doesn`t know anything." I defended, scared shitless. Jacob pushed me more behind him.

"That`s what you think girl. He has been sneaking behind your back. Gleaning whatever information he can about what`s happening."

"And why is that so bad? What affects her affects me and visa versa! I have every right to know what`s going on!" Jacob yelled.

My mind was reeling. So Jacob had been sneaking behind my back. When he promised he wouldn`t and everything. He didn`t trust me to do this on my own did he? I felt suddenly sick.

"If you only knew...this was bound to happen..." Mr. McBride shook his head sadly. "This was meant to happen..." He backed into the woods. "There is nothing I can do to stop this now..." His face was twisted in self loathing.

"Listen! Don`t fucking walk away when you`ve made all these allusions to things that are supposed to happen. Tell us out straight!" Jacob demanded, leaping forward and grabbing Mr. McBride by the arm. In a blinding blur of movement Jacob was thrown twenty feet in the air and landed in a heap on the other side of the road. Feeling a horrific, dizzying pain in my head I realized that Jacob must have been knocked unconscious.

"Jacob!" I barely managed to get out, while falling onto all fours in the mud. A warm hand took my own. Jacob...I need to go to Jacob.

"I tried Sonia. Honestly...I`ve tried. You can`t stop fate." He lifted me up and sat me on a tree stump. "When the time comes, don`t blame yourself. When the time comes, I`ll make sure you are safe." He cast Jacob a quick glance before turning back to me. "Don`t tell him anything Sonia. It won`t help. It will make things worse. He...Utlapa already knows what you are doing. He`s trying to speed things up." He sighed and stood up. "Be strong. Be brave. I`m sorry." He retreated back into the woods and disappeared.

Shit...shit shit shit shit shit! The pain in my head began to ease as Jacob stirred on the other side of the road. Mr. McBride...he came back and now he`s gone again. But, but what he said, his ominous warning...it left me feeling ill...and scared beyond belief. You can`t cheat fate...but what was my fate? My fate was tied up with Jacob`s wasn`t it? It worked that way didn`t it? You can`t cheat fate...My dreams...was what Utlapa telling me real? Please God don`t let it be true! I couldn`t bare it if Jacob...turned on me...which sounds like it would happen if...if I didn`t stop what was going to happen.

Mr. McBride, what he said, he said he would protect me. He said I shouldn`t blame myself. It things went tits up then who could I blame but myself? Jacob...he wouldn`t let me go would he?

"Sonia...Sonia are you okay?" Jacob asked me groggily, getting up and grimacing. He held his arm, which swung at a disgusting angle. He popped it back into place with an awful noise that made me cringe. "Are you okay?" He asked again, coming up to me.

"I`m okay." I said with no emotion in my voice. Jacob crouched in front of me and placed his warm hands on my muddy knees. "How `bout you? You banged your head awfully hard." I gently ran my index finger over a rapidly healing cut on his forehead that extended into his hair.

"I`ll survive." He smiled weakly at me before looking into the woods. "Two wolves are patrolling now. I can`t hear that old bastard! How the fuck did he sneak up on us without me hearing? That`s the second time. It won`t happen for a third." He vowed.

"When was the first?" I made Jacob look at me. "Tell me. No secrets remember." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Me and Jared were looking for that cave two weeks back almost. We...we saw you and Kim."

"Me and Kim never went looking for that fucking cave!"

"It was you when you were a kid. McBride showed us." How the fuck was that even possible? How is any of this possible though. But that was the least important thing happening at the moment.

I stared at Jacob for a long time. I was fucking furious but I wasn`t going to let him know that. Fucking Mr. McBride! Can`t anything remain private anymore? No wonder Jacob and Jared were being all understanding now. Urrghhh! They were snooping behind our backs. Jacob was trying to get me to tell him what was going on and all the while he knew more than he was letting on.

"He showed you... Huh..." I nodded my head, swallowing the bile that had risen up my throat. Mr. McBride...he didn`t trust me either. He left me in the shit again.

"You can trust me Sonia."

"Stop fucking saying that Jacob. It`s getting old. You don`t trust me though." I stood up and wiped my muddy hand on my jeans. A huge drop of rain hit me squarely on the nose. Surprise surprise, it`s raining again.

"I do trust you. It`s just that this shit is driving me crazy!"

"And you think it`s a walk in the fucking park for me?"

"I just want to help you."

"You can`t."

"We were supposed to get married today." That sounded so fucking weird that I just wanted to laugh.

"I know."

"Are we...still going to?"

"We can. We can do it your way."

I must be the dumbest bitch in the world but I was still going through with it. I was going to do it his way though. If he didn`t understand how important it was for me to get married on James Island then...then we shouldn`t be getting married in the first place. I turned away from him and stood by the bike.

"So you don`t want to go to James Island?"

"No."

"The sea`s going to be choppy so we`re better off." He got on the bike. He didn`t even realize how important it was to me did he?

"Where should we go now?" I fought hard to keep the bitchy hardness out of my voice.

"To Sam`s. I need to talk to him about what happened. And get him to call the school I suppose."

"Cool." I mumbled. Cool? What a god awful day. I just want to go home and sleep.

"I`m sorry about today. I really am." Jacob twisted around to look at me.

"It`s...fine."

"It`s not but if you say so."

"I said so. Come on, I`m getting pretty cold."

"Kiss?"

"Huh?"

"Kiss me?"

I did as he asked and kissed him. When he was satisfied he gave me a peck on the nose and brought us to Sam and Emily`s. What was up with him? How could he act so calm after what happened? Why was he asking for kisses after all of that? What the fuck was up with me? I was totally losing my mind. I didn`t have the heart to tell Jacob now that I didn`t want to get married after I literally proposed to him! I get myself into these messes. I heap the shit on top of myself. I wasn`t hurting him again by telling him I wasn`t ready.

* * *

><p>When we got to Sam and Emily`s Jacob phased almost immediately to go and find Sam and probably try and find Mr. McBride, leaving me to answer Emily`s a million and one questions. Emily called the school and let me use all her hot water for a shower. I sat in her pyjamas in the kitchen while she washed and dried my clothes for me.<p>

"So why did you and Jacob skip school? Planning to go on some wild adventure?" She asked brightly.

"We were going to get married." I told her, in the same voice I would use as if I was commenting on the weather.

"What?" Emily spluttered over her coffee. She looked in shock.

"It`s no big deal Em." I frowned at her and took a sip of my hot chocolate.

"No big deal? Are you for real? You are just kids!"

"We know what we both want Emily. Why wait?"

"Why wait? Because you have another year of school left Sonia. Because there are still issues between you and Jacob that need to be addressed, that the two of you keep on sweeping under the rug."

"We love each other."

"I know you do. But sometimes that isn`t enough. What about after you get married? Are you planning on living together? How do you think your mom and Mr. Black will react? They`ll go ape shit."

"I was thinking about that...we`ll keep it a secret until we graduate, then we can live together. Have babies and stuff."

"It won`t remain a secret and you know it. Just think about it. You have plenty of time. The rest of your lives."

With Emily`s words I burst out into tears. In an instant her arms were around me. No we didn`t. I knew it. I knew I only had my Jacob for a while until he was snatched away from me. I knew I had little time left with him until whatever was supposed to happen happens. And whatever anguish I was feeling now would be nothing in comparison. Why not make the most of what we had now? Why not let me have my Jacob dream for a while? If it was a lie then I don`t care. I lie to myself all the time. When I tell myself that I`m strong enough to stand up to Utlapa. When I tell myself that I am worthy of being part of this pack. When I tell myself that I am something better than the daughter of a criminal. What damage can one more lie do? Just as long as I know the truth then it won`t hurt as much, would it?

**Remember to review and tell me what you think. It makes the story better. Besos.**


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54: Hope you enjoy! This story is coming to an end soon so I hope you enjoy the last remaining chapters. I`m trying my hardest on making them good enough for you all but whenever I manage to sit down and write I`m absolutely knackered. **

**Anyways. Happy reading and remember to tell me what you think in the form of a review or PM. **

"I can`t believe you! Seriously!"

"I said I was sorry Kim! Gosh!" I folded my arms and turned away from Kim`s angry glare.

"Well you didn`t tell him anything important which is good. Fucking Jacob!" She tutted angrily and shifted Noah to over her shoulder.

"Fucking Jared too Kim." I retorted.

"Yeah well he`s getting an earful when he`s coming home I can tell you. The fucking nerve of those guys."

"Tell me about it."

"Shit!" Noah started crying again. "Come on baby...don`t cry." She rocked him gently until he calmed down a little. "I`m going to put him down for his nap okay."

"Sure."

"I think I found out something important anyways." She looked excited and winked at me.

"Really?"

"Yeah...just let me put Noah down first."

Did she really find out something good? Something we could use? Bless Kim and her giant brain.

I had gone over to hers after my little mini meltdown at Emily`s place. I had to tell her that I had almost spilled the beans on our secret. Kim had been shocked at the state I arrived in. But her shock swiftly turned into anger when I told her what I had told Jacob. Like me, she was confused at Mr. McBride`s sudden reappearance and his warnings. I knew she would want to know word for word what he had said so she could go over everything with a fine tooth comb.

We had to figure this out soon. But the frustration of not knowing everything was driving me mad. All I knew was that we were supposed to be preventing the birth of Utlapa`s spirit wife. That was all great and good if we knew who her parents were. But if we know then what? We ask them kindly not to have any female children? Bullshit!

And as hard as it was to admit I knew that Bella`s involvement was all speculation. She was with a vampire. If she was with him for life then she wasn`t going to breed any time soon. But Mr. McBride didn`t exactly steer us away from her. Was it just that I hated her so much that I wanted her to be somehow involved? Because I wasn`t afraid of her? I knew she was somehow...

"Finally! I think he has colic or something." Kim said as she came back into the kitchen.

"Poor bean." I took in Kim`s appearance. She looked so tired. And a little thin. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Nah...I`m not hungry." She shook her head a bit too much and brought over her laptop to the kitchen table. She then reached behind the fridge and took out a giant notebook. She sat down and gave it to me. A smile spread across my face as I saw what was inside. It was full of perfectly written notes on everything we knew on what was going on. She also kept a record of her dreams. As soon as I saw 'Jared hurt horribly' I closed it. I shouldn`t be looking at that.

"This is amazing Kim." I praised her. I would have never have thought to do something like that. Goes to show how bad I was for this type of mission.

"Thanks. I want you to keep a record of your dreams too. I think...no! I know they`re important. Listen. In my dreams there is always something exactly the same. Always! Something that takes me away from the danger so to speak." She looked bright eyed.

"What?" I questioned quickly.

"An animal! Whenever I hear or see this animal it takes me somewhere important, it tells me when there`s danger!"

"What is it?" I asked. An animal...the raccoon in mine! I wonder if hers is the same.

"An Owl." She said.

"I dream of a raccoon. Do you believe in spirit guides?" I felt a little foolish asking but...

"I do. Now I do. It makes sense. They are our spirit guides." She opened her laptop. "Raccoon you said right?"

"Yeah. The raccoon. Hold on..." She typed away and after a while nodded in head as in agreement. "You are such a raccoon."

"Hey!"

"It`s a compliment. Resourceful, clever, adaptable...disguise, transformation because of the mask. You do that. You have your masks that you wear for when things are tough for you. Mysterious. That`s what Jacob called you. Courageous. Em yeah! You have raccoon medicine for sure!" She finished happily. We shared a little laugh. So I was a little masked thief. Go figure. At least they were cute though.

"So you think they keep us from danger?"

"I think so. They are guiding us too. To something. I don`t know what though. Whenever I get close I get too scared."

I thought back to my dreams. The raccoon was leading me somewhere, somewhere scary. Utlapa always tried to stop me, tried (well succeeded) on making me turn back, on making me wake up.

"The same for me. He scares me too much Kim."

"What does he tell you?" She asked. I took a deep breath.

"That Jacob will leave me." I ran a nervous hand through my hair.

"He tells me Jared will...die." She said in a small voice. Oh God! That`s much worse than mine.

"Kim..." She shook her head and took a deep breath.

"I`m not letting that happen! No way! We have to get our thumbs out of our asses and dig deeper Sonia. We can stop him! I know we can!"

"Mr. McBride said you can`t stop fate." I whispered. Kim looked at me evenly, a little nervous but determined.

"I think he was talking about you Sonia. This is more about you than me."

"But you`re in this too! You`re having the dreams as well!"

"I...I think Jacob has a vital role to play in this...more than we realize. More than he realizes." She whispered.

"What do you mean?" Fear was gripping me again. Kim fidgeted nervously in her seat.

"I came across these stories...from when our tribe was almost wiped out by Suquamish, when we lost so many numbers from our tribe. It said that one of our braves was led astray by..." She took her notebook and flipped to what she was looking for. "here.. 'a woman of snow white beauty and great strength. Who promised him herself in exchange for his wife`s blood.' What do you think?"

"You think Jacob will sacrifice me to a cold one?" I asked angrily.

"She wasn`t a cold one. And the brave didn`t sacrifice her. He couldn`t."

"Who told you this?"

"Old Quil." She replied. "I was trying to probe him for information you know."

"And how does this relate to me and Jacob?"

"The woman wasn`t a cold one. She was born to a human mother and a vampire father."

"That`s not possible! They are dead! How could the vamp have even got it up? You need blood flow for an erection don`t you?"

"That`s what he said! I`m just relaying information."

"Fine. Did he say anything else?"

"He said that the brave was so taken with the woman that he left his village with her, left his family. He saw many things and was happy until after a while he began to feel homesick. He began to miss his wife. The woman noticed this and convinced the Suquamish to target the Quileutes and wipe them out. Therefore eliminating the competition, so to speak."

"But they didn`t succeed." I pointed out.

"They didn`t. Because the brave came to his senses and came back to the tribe, but not in time to save his wife and children."

"So what has this got to do with me and Jacob?"

"You know a spirit needs a body to do lots of things. I think Utlapa wants that. He needs it. Maybe he`s planning to jump into one of the guys. Jacob for example. He`s the strongest one. Why not choose the best one you know. Plus...what he said in the dream...what Mr. McBride said." What Kim was saying made a lot of sense. I found it so hard to sallow though. I didn`t want to believe it.

"Then...okay. Either I prepare myself for the worst or never let the worst happen in the first place. No way am I losing Jacob to some demon spawn! No way in hell!"

"That`s the spirit!" Kim exclaimed happily.

"So...we find Bella and Edweird and tell them to keep it in their pants until she`s changed. Perfect!" I stood up and paced the kitchen, thinking. "I don`t think he`s that stupid to have sex with her while she`s still human you know. This depends a lot on him. How long he can resist."

"If it is them Sonia. Remember we don`t know for sure." Kim pointed out.

"But they`re our best bet! How many other human/vampire couples do we know out there? That have a tie to La Push? It`s them! I know it!" I wanted to punch something.

"Calm down okay!"

"I won`t Kim! We`re running out of time! I can feel it. Don`t tell me you can`t feel it. It`s all going to come to a head soon." I whispered. We stared at each other a long time before Kim slowly nodded her head.

"I can feel it. It`s making me sick. I can`t sleep...I can`t eat...and Jared.." She made a pained face and tugged at her braid. "...I catch him looking at me sometimes...like he can`t believe his eyes or something, but not in the way he usually used to look at me. It`s more like a 'is that really what I`m tied to' look. It kills me." She started to sob.

"Kim! You`re just being paranoid! Jared fucking loves you!"

"You haven`t seen it! I`ve never been good enough for him!"

"Oh my God! You are just being crazy now! Jared has never been good enough for you. Come on. You asked me before if I remembered him from high school. Well the Jared I remembered was a dick! An arrogant asshole who thought that he was too good for everybody and everything. I remember girls that Jared had slept with and discarded like shitty tissue crying in the toilets. I remember him not giving a damn about anyone but himself. And you think you are not good enough for him? Still? You think that? You have always been good. Always been sweet. You might have thought that nobody, boys especially, didn`t notice you but believe me they did. You just had your sights set on the man you knew you would spend your life with. Despite the fact that he was a jerk." Kim giggled after my little tirade.

"I guess I was being a little dramatic." She wiped away some tears and smiled.

"A lot more like. Come on. We`ve got work to do."

* * *

><p>"Hi, can I help you?" The blonde sales guy asked me. I scanned the store for the person I was looking for. Once I spotted her I smiled at...Mike according to his name tag.<p>

"No thanks...just browsing you know." I winked at him with made him blush pink.

"Sure...so you need any help just let me know."

"You`ll be the first person I`ll come to." I promised him as I watched Bella round a corner and go out of sight. Shaking off that Mike guy I followed Bella down an aisle of hiking boots. I picked up a pair and came up behind her.

"Excuse me? Can I get these in a size 8 please?" I asked sweetly.

She spun around, dropping her pricing gun. Looking at me wide eyed she cringed away from me and backed into the shelves.

"Calm down Bella. Do you really think I`m going to hurt you?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"What do you expect me to think?" She whispered.

"I don`t care what you think Bells. So tell me...Where were you December 14th of last year?"

"What?" She picked up the pricing gun and began her work afresh. I noticed her hands were shaking a little.

"December 14th. Where were you?" I stepped in closer to her. "Where you in La Push at all?"

"That`s none of your business." She tossed her hair into my face.

"Sure it is Bella. Because if you`re up to what I think you are then you have a very big problem."

"And what do you think I`m up to?" She surprised me by smiling at me. A horrible smile. One that made her look slightly demented.

"Where were you?" I growled at her lowly.

"Like I`m going to tell you." Her smile grew bigger. It took all of my self control not to punch her again. "You picked the wrong person to mess with Sonia. I always get what I want."

She stuck her left hand in my face and showed me a giant sparkling rock on her ring finger.

"Pretty." I commented, smacking her hand away. "Don`t play games with me."

"This is not a game. It`s my destiny. I`m marrying Edward. I`m going to be a vampire. You won`t be able to hurt me then, would you?"

"Are you for real? Seriously? I know it was you Bella! I know you were the one who set Utlapa free!"

"Utlapa? Who would that be now?" She feigned innocence. "You are so stupid Sonia. Go back to that dump of a reservation where you belong. And while you`re there can you tell Jake that I miss him. I know he misses me."

I turned on my heel to leave.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" An older woman asked me.

"No. The sales girl was quite rude and unhelpful actually." I exited and stepped out into the drizzling rain.

Well...that was interesting. Bella basically confirmed it was her that set Utlapa free. She was also taunting me. Like some little girl who was in on some big secret and was told to keep it from the others but couldn`t help but gloat about the fact that she knew.

And her and Eddie were getting married. Not that surprising. It scared me though. Would they celebrate their wedding night like a normal couple? Would she be changed immediately? If she was then there would be no chance of her getting pregnant.

Was Edward in it too? Did he know what was going on? Dare I risk going to him to try and reason with him? I got into my car and sat for a while thinking. The more time I spend here the more I risk giving a lot of things away if Edward was around to read my thoughts. Fuck it! I`m going back to La Push. I need to see Jacob and talk to him. I also need to tell Kim what had just happened and plan what we were to do next.

* * *

><p>Jacob`s POV<p>

It was the most difficult thing in the world not to feel a bit of angst when I didn`t know where Sonia was but I had to trust her. She had disappeared after I dropped her off at Emily`s and I feel racked with guilt because of that. We were supposed to get married today. What started out as maybe the happiest day of my life ever swiftly turned into a disaster.

McBride showed up again. Frightening Sonia into silent mode. I was so close and everything. She was going to tell me. Christ! That old geezer had perfect timing didn`t he?

Fingering my mom`s engagement ring I thought of Sonia some more. Focusing on her smile. Focusing on her being happy. I`ll give her the ring tonight and take her up to James Island tomorrow. I knew she was big into the whole traditional way of doing things and if it made her happy then who was I to argue even if it did seem a little silly. She wanted me. She loves me! And I`m going to keep her. My crazy girl.

Feeling the pull I knew she was coming over. Thank the heavens that dad was away at some tribal meeting. I knew I was going to claim her once she got here. I was going to make her mine again. Join our bodies together in love and passion.

But now it seems that it isn`t enough. Something inside me wanted more. I wanted all of her and she was still holding back. Despite doing everything I could think of to win her trust back. Did I even have her full trust in the first place? Dad tells me to give it time. That everything will fall into place. That I needed to be patient and not push her.

Hearing her car a couple of minutes away I went and stood outside and waited for her. Sexual desire was heightening inside of me with every passing moment, making me want to burst out of my skin. She was mine. I was hers. It was that simple.

**Sorry for the ending, I was planning on making it longer but I`m super tried. Next chapter will be continued in Jacob`s POV. Gotta love him don`t you? Anyways. Night night and remember to review. Besos.**


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55: Hope you guys enjoy. This is just one big long lemon. Thanks so much for all your great and wonderful reviews from the last chapter. Thanks for sticking with me. I am going to make the remaining chapters as good as possible for all of you. **

**So, coming up next. James Island and sexy camping. Sonia`s dad visits. Bella and Edward`s wedding is approaching. **

**Remember to review and criticize. It makes the chapters come along quicker. Besos and happy reading.**

Jacob POV

"Hey." I greeted her simply. Drinking her in. She smiled briefly before coming inside and going straight for the sofa in the living room. Something was up with her. She hadn`t been in La Push for the past couple of hours that`s for sure. She must have been doing...whatever it is she does.

"Did you find Mr. McBride?" She asked me, taking off her ancient converse trainers. I couldn`t help but notice how her nipples were showing through her sweater, tempting me, making me plan my moves carefully. At this moment I couldn`t care less about Mr. McBride and all the shit that was going on. I only wanted her.

"He doesn`t want to be found. We searched everywhere in our territory and a little way out too. No sign." I watched her slump back into the sofa and sigh. Her face was so troubled and it made me physically ache. "You okay?"

"Yeah...peachy." She wouldn`t make eye contact with me. This is going to be so difficult now. I could forget about her opening up now. But a guy could try right?

"I know you`re not going to tell me what`s going on now. He`s scared you. Right now I want to put something right that went wrong today." I watched on as her beautiful almond shaped eyes grew round in shock as I kneeled down in front of her and held up my mothers ring. "I want to give you this."

"Jacob...you..you don`t have to give me your mom`s ring." She stuttered, her eyes still fixed on the ring. I took her left hand, reveling in her warmth and the rush of emotions the simple touch of her skin could evoke within me.

"It`s yours. She would have wanted you to have it. So take it." I slipped it on her ring finger. It was a little bit loose but I would get that fixed.

"It`s beautiful." She commented, still afraid to look me in the eyes. I smiled and caressed her fingers.

"You are. Tomorrow I`m going to take you to James Island. We`ll get married there." I moved in closer to her and nuzzled her neck. I knew she was in one of her shy moods so it was best to take things slow. But when she did finally submit...it was going to be so sweet. Running my fingers over her collar bone I let my hands rest on her shoulders.

"You really want to?" She asked. The question took me aback. I made her look me in the eye. They were questioning, and a little scared.

"I really, really want to. How can you ask me that?"

"I had to ask." She said with a nervous little giggle.

"You don`t. You know how beautiful you look right now?"

"Jacob! Quit it!" She giggled some more. Putting her arms around my neck she rested her head on my shoulder. I let my hands travel down her back and permitted my fingers to dip into the waist band of her jeans.

"I`ll quit it if you promise me something." I whispered into her ear.

"What?" She asked a little shakily.

"You`ll let me protect you, like a husband should. You`ll let me love you like I want. I promise you that I`ll be so good to you. I promise you won`t regret it. Just let me." God I meant so much with those words that I wasn`t sure she got all the meanings.

"Promise me you`ll never leave me Jacob. Promise me you`ll love me forever." Why was she so frightened? She was even trembling a little!

"Sonia! This is me! Jacob! The guy who is freakin` obsessed with you! Do you really, truly, honestly! think that I`ll ever leave you? Let alone stop loving you?" I pulled her closer into me and held her tight. Her heartbeat was settling down. She was relaxing. Breathing her in deep I sighed heavily. Her smell. Her scent. Something that was so unique to her that it was like the air that was made for only me to breathe. I needed her more than she could ever imagine. The thoughts of her ever doubting that...

"Promise me Jacob." She asked of me again. She weaved her fingers into my hair and melted into me.

"Promise. I`m going to prove it to you. I`m going to show you."

"Show me then."

We locked eyes for a couple of seconds before my mouth found hers. She immediately granted me access to her sweet, moist mouth and the feeling of her wet tongue caressing my own gave me an instant hard on. Anticipating what was coming next was making my inner animal go wild.

Groaning, I lifted her up and almost stumbled in my haste to get her to my bedroom. The intoxicating smell of her arousal invaded my nostrils so suddenly that it made me slam her into the wall and grind myself roughly into her. I knew I wouldn`t last so long once I got inside her...control yourself Jacob. Make it great for her Jacob...don`t be selfish.

Why was it that she always made me feel so nervous when it came to sex? Why did I feel that I couldn`t satisfy her when she told me again and again that I did. Even when I felt the proof of her orgasms? The way she made me feel in her arms...so powerful, so strong but also so utterly in her control that it was frightening. Did she feel the same? It was a question that I was afraid to ask her.

Trying not to rip anything of her clothes I undressed her in the hall and freed myself of my jeans and boxers. I was going to take her here, right up against this wall. She said I could love her the way I wanted to and I wanted her this way. I wanted to control this because I...I don`t really know why.

Christ she is so tight! I couldn`t help but draw it out while entering her. So slowly. It was, physically, the most beautiful feeling in the world for me. And Sonia`s long moan of pleasure was music to my ears. If she kept on making noises like that then...I thrust up into her again, harder this time, making her cry louder, making her hold on to me tighter. That was all the encouragement I needed. Her arousal, her heat, her heatbeat, her passion, her love for me...everything that she was...everything that I was...came together in this one, very primal, very natural act. It is all so simple...there is no question about anything anymore...

Fire coursed through my veins, fueling me with even more happiness and pleasure as Sonia orgasmed. Watching her face as she did so was breathtaking...I can make her happy...

Will it always feel this way? The feeling of overwhelming love and protectiveness that I felt looking at her sleeping face. Her content face. She had her hands tucked under her cheek as she slept on her side. The picture of innocence. Smiling, I smoothed her hair from her face and behind her ear. Snuggling into her I kissed her brow. I knew I had worn her out with our love making. She had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit my pillow.

My girl...what was going on in the part of your life that you keep so secret from me? Why can`t I know? What is so important that you can`t tell me? You know when you hurt I hurt? Things can`t be right between us if you don`t tell me what`s going on you know. Why are you so afraid that I`ll leave you? Stop loving you. How could you even think that?

Me stop loving Sonia. That was the most bullshit stupid thing I had ever heard in my entire life. The minute I had laid eyes on her in that hallway I knew I couldn`t bear to be away from her, no matter how much I had lied to myself in the past. If something even attempted to take her away from me then...I held onto her tighter. Careful not to wake her I pulled her into me and cuddled her against my chest.

What was happening was seriously getting to me. Getting to all of us. We could all feel it. It being something that put us all on edge and nervous. Maybe it was something got to do with animal intuition? We could sense the danger...undefined as it was it was still there. Ever present, ever threatening. And Sonia knew. She knew something but she was holding strong. If she was brave enough to face whatever the hell this is then I`m brave enough.

She was beginning to stir. I hope I didn`t wake her up. She sure as hell needed some sleep. Lately she has been looking quite worn, a little ashen.

"Jacob..." She mumbled out against my chest. Stretching out against me like a cat for a couple of seconds gave me a good look at her breasts, which made my loins start to stir. Ever so casually she let her small, soft hand rest on my semi-hard penis, making me breath faster. With a feather light touch she let her fingers trail along its length. God this felt great...man I`m so lucky...

"You awake?" She asked me, gripping me harder, causing me to moan gently.

"What do you think?" I replied, letting my greedy hands feel her breasts. She giggled softly and lifted her head up to look at me. Her eyes were two black inky pools. Filled with love, filled with fire. How could she ever think that I would leave her? I was totally hers.

"I think that some of you is for sure awake." She continued her massage of my aching cock, igniting the fire inside me farther.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I nibbled on her neck. Delicious.

"Great...you?" She inquired before peppering my jaw with little kisses. Sure enough everything external started to melt away so all that was left was me and her, on my bed, naked, both ready for more.

"Never better." I whispered as I rolled onto my back and placed her on top of me. The soft length of her body stretched luxuriously on top of mine again before she straddled my hips and rubbed her warm pussy against my cock. The warmest part of her body. Her heat. My home forever. Oh man that feels so fucking good...

She slowly lowered herself onto me, taking me by surprise. Her tight channel gripped me, making me breath faster. So sweet...So warm...So

I watched her as she rode herself to orgasm on top of me. I loved how her skin would flush, how her nipples hardened and how her silky black hair fell about her face as she moved. She was every bit the graceful dancer. As she came down from her high she quietened down but didn`t stop. She movements started up quicker now...as if she was savoring every fluid motion. I felt my own orgasm build up...she was moaning desperately now, gripping my hands that were placed on her hips tightly. I could feel her walls grip me repeatedly and she came...her own orgasm swiftly bringing on my own...here it comes...Gripping her hips hard I thrust up and came hard...am I actually seeing stars? She was the only thing that could make me breathless.

Light headed I held her against me panting. Christ that was intense! That was a bit different than before. I ran my hands up and down her sweaty, trembling back. I was getting such a flood of emotions from her that it was difficult to separate my own from hers. Why was she still trembling?

"Sonia?" I panted out into her hair. "You okay babe?"

"Mmmhmm..." She mumbled out from my shoulder. Was she...crying?

Shifting my position and sitting up a little I tried to get a look at her face.

"Sonia...what`s the matter?" I asked. Okay...why was she crying? What did I do? She got off me and buried her head in my pillow, sobbing.

"Please tell me!" I implored, kissing her shoulders. "Did I hurt you?" Did I? Oh my God what if I did? I could never forgive myself.

"Nnnnoo" She sniffled, drawing the duvet over her.

"Tell me then." I asked gently. "What happened?" This is the weirdest thing ever to happen. I thought we were having fun. I felt fucking terrible now.

"Jacob..." She choked out, reaching for me. I took her hand and kissed it.

"What sweetheart?"

"Just hold me...please..." She begged. And I did what she asked. That`s what a good imprinter does, doesn`t he? Hold his imprint when she needs him. Spooning her I held her tight and didn`t say anything. What could I say? I understood that she had went over to Kim`s just after I left her at Emily`s. I knew Kim had told her not to tell me anything more. I also knew she had left La Push not soon after. Where was she going? What was she doing? Is she ever going to put herself out of her own misery and tell me?

* * *

><p>Sonia`s POV<p>

I knew getting out of Jacob`s place without telling him why I had suddenly burst into tears after sex would be hard but I did it. He must think that I`m totally mental now! I mean...who the fuck cries after sex? Smooth move Sonia.

It was just...that whole fucking day got to me. Knowing Bella had set Utlapa free. Having this seed of doubt in my mind that Jacob could leave me and stop loving me was quickly turning me into a mess. What we had...what I felt for him...what he was to me...it was too much to lose. And I came to that realization pretty quickly while fucking him cow girl style. He gave me his mothers engagement ring. He was taking me to James Island to get married and I was still doubting him. I wasn`t this pessimistic before so why am I now? Should I really put that much store by the evil words of a traitor to my tribe? Why was I so ready to believe him?

But Mr. McBride freaked me out today as well. He was coming to terms with our fate. No! It hasn`t happened yet! IT WON`T HAPPEN!

"Sonia? Do you want more green beans?" My mom asked.

"No thanks." I pushed my remaining food around on the plate and sighed.

"Pretty ring." She commented, taking my hand. My insides turned ice cold.

"Yeah..."

"This was Sarah Black`s wasn`t it?"

"Jacob gave it to me." I took my hand from hers and hid it under the table.

"I hope you aren`t planning on doing something stupid Sonia. You`ve been skipping a lot of school."

"I`ve had a lot on my plate with all this Utlapa bullshit." I defended. Mom pursed her lips and fixed me with a stern look.

"That`s not what I`m talking about and you know it. Listen...it`s always going to be hard for me to see you as nothing more than my little girl...as a little girl. I know that you are...sleeping...with Jacob. I accept that. It`s normal. But...God I don`t know what I`m trying to even say. Just take care of yourself."

"I am mom. I`m taking my pill don`t worry."

"I know. I`m checking that myself." Really? She was? I rolled my eyes and pushed my plate away.

"Even if I did get pregnant Jacob would take care of me." I stated childishly.

"Uhmm...yeah he would. You don`t have to worry about that." Okay. First, she took too long to answer and second she didn`t believe a word of what she was saying. I stared at her through narrowed eyes.

"He would. He loves me. If I get pregnant he`d be happy! Is there something you know that you`re not telling me?" I accused.

"I don`t know what you`re talking about." She picked up the dinner plates and threw them into the sink.

"Don`t lie to me mom!"

"I`m not lying to you!"

"It`s so obvious that you are!"

"STOP IT NOW!" She yelled. We stared each other down.

"I`m getting sick of this. Sick! Do fucking nothing? That`s the best you and Sue could come with?"

"What can you do?"

"Fight! That`s what I can do! Fight for what is right! Don`t you believe in that mom?"

"You are just like your father. That temper will get you into serious trouble one day Sonia."

"What?"

"Go to bed now."

"But mom!"

"No buts. Go to bed Sonia." She repeated in a tone not to be contested. I didn`t even bother to say goodnight to her as I stormed to my room. I was going to have to do something about our relationship. I knew she was lying to me about a lot of things. For what reason I`m not sure but she was.

And Jacob...I`m to be his wife tomorrow after school. He wouldn`t have given me his mothers ring if he wasn`t committed to me right? I knew I needed to make it up to him because of my creepy behavior over at his earlier on today. I wonder how he`ll be when he comes over tonight.

**Remember to review. It makes everything come quicker and I love hearing what you all think. Besos and hugs.**


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56: Sorry sorry sorry for the long wait! I had so many ideas for where I`m taking this that it is difficult to write. Anyway, just a couple more chapters left until this part of the story finishes. **

**Remember to tell me what you think. Happy reading! **

"The water is choppy today." Jacob commented as he rowed the canoe the short distance from the beach to James Island. It sure was choppy. The water was churning, green and grey, almost angrily. James Island, or Aka-lat as we used to call it, loomed in the distance, mist surrounding it, giving it an almost haunted appearance. I had only been there once, when Bernie`s older brother Kyle had brought the two of us when we were fifteen. And it was spectacular...the peace...the beauty...the sense of history...It was the perfect place to pledge my love for Jacob...and him for me. I had even gotten him a ring. Not a real wedding ring but a Claddagh ring. A tribute to my much diluted Irish ancestry I suppose. It was tucked away safely in my bra, to be given to him as we said our vows.

"The weather has changed so much since this morning." I said, as I was sprayed with salt water. It was true, the morning had started out so sunny and clear skied, but...it seemed that as soon as we set off the short distance from the harbor to the island the weather had took a turn for the worse. The once blue sky was now an ominous gun metal grey color, the wind was blowing hard and the water made it so difficult for Jacob to paddle. He shouldn`t of insisted he do it all himself but there was no telling him sometimes.

"Yeah, it`s so weird." He said over his shoulder. I watched his muscles work under his drenched t-shirt. So fluid, so strong. I gripped the sides of the canoe with my hands as we rowed over a big wave. Shit...I feel so sick now. At least I could blame the ocean if I got sick and not the sense of dread that was filling up within me with every passing stroke towards the island. There is no turning back now. I want this! I know I do. There is nothing I want more than to commit myself to Jacob forever. But what I want more is for him to commit himself to me. For him to say the words and follow them through. Utlapa be damned, Jacob wouldn`t leave me.

When we finally made it to the shore I got out and stood on shaky legs. The lifejacket felt like it weighed a ton and I hastened to remove it.

"You`re green in the face babe." Jacob dragged the canoe with ease onto the shore before coming over to me. "Pre-wedding jitters?" He asked kindly. I shook my head slowly.

"No...just the trip over." I reassured him, smiling. Wrapping my arms around his neck I hugged him tightly. God I love him so much. "Thanks for doing this Jacob. I know you are still not convinced that it`s a real wedding but...at least we could say that the trip was good right?"

"I am convinced it`s real. Come on! I even wrote some vows."

"You did?" I had tried to but...I had no talent in putting my feelings into words. Everything I had come up with just sounded so lame and corny and embarrassing. I had no idea what I was going to say to him.

"Yep! Got it all down on paper." He smacked his ass jeans pocket. His smile quickly faded though. He was drenched still. "Ah shit!" He groaned as he pulled out a sodden, folded up square of paper. I could see the blue ink had ran.

"Don`t worry."

"I stayed up all night writing that." He pouted and sighed.

"I didn`t write anything." I confessed, looking at the sand. Jacob took my hand.

"It`s okay. Whatever we say will work." He kissed my forehead and led me towards the slope that led to the top of the island. The firs were swaying restlessly in the wind, sending my body into shivers. I was wet through same as Jacob, difference was I didn`t have his body heat. "You`re freezing." His voice was all concern. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don`t care."

"I do."

"Come on. I mightn`t be wearing a white dress but this is still my wedding day." I said, starting towards the trees. "You can warm me up when we are in our tent."

"Our camping honeymoon." Jacob smiled and walked with me. "I promise you we can go somewhere sunny when we graduate."

"When you are with me I don`t care about the weather." I didn`t add how we could afford to pay for such a holiday. When we graduate we are going to live together. Community college and then babies. I could maybe teach dance and Jacob could be a mechanic or a fisherman like his dad was.

"Me neither." Quick as a flash he scooped me up and held me in his arms bridal style.

"Jacob! My legs work you know."

"I know. I just wanna take care of you today. Keep you warm and whatnot." He smiled and held me closer. He was warm. So snuggly. "Let me carry you?"

"Sure...you can carry me." I replied, snuggling my head into his neck. The shivers began to melt away in his warm embrace. "You are always so warm."

"One of the perks of being a wolf I suppose. You are warm too."

"Not as warm as you."

"The imprints always feel warm for the imprinters."

"Why did you never say so before?"

"Dunno. Never thought about it really. It`s just something that`s there." He smiled down at me.

"Huh..." I trailed off. Funny how the rustle of the leaves in the wind almost sounds like whispering. Like a hundred different voices speaking at the same time. For a split second I thought I heard my nana. I still missed her. I wished she could still be alive to see me get married. I looked up at Jacob. He was frowning, looking up into the sky. Did he hear something too?

"Just a little bit farther babe." He held me tighter to him as he took on a steep climb at a run.

Once we reached the top we sat down on the grass and looked out onto the Pacific. I could hear the rolling waves crash onto the rocks below us and the wind was unrelenting, seemingly blowing from every direction at once.

"We should do this before the water gets too rough." Jacob said, turning me to face him. I nodded, and shifted my position so I was sitting on my knees and not on my ass. How the hell do we start this?

"So..." Jacob laughed nervously which made me laugh along with him. I took his hands.

"Jacob...I thought that...maybe coming here...it would..." I trailed off, not knowing how to finish. Jacob covered my trembling hands with his own.

"It would be a commitment Quileute style. I know why you wanted to come here the second we reached the top and looked out over the ocean. Because this place..." He looked around and then rested his eyes on my own. "It`s sacred." I smiled shyly at him before fishing his ring from my bra.

"What are you doing?" Jacob asked, confused and a bit shocked. I rooted around in my bra some more before finding it.

"Getting your ring." I held it tightly in my fist.

"You got me a ring?" He asked quietly.

"Yes. It`s not a wedding ring...more like a commitment ring." I took his left hand in my own. "It`s a Claddagh ring." I showed him the ring cupped in my hand. "The hands represent friendship. The heart, love and the crown is loyalty." I courageously took his hand and placed the ring on his ring finger, making sure the crown was pointing towards his knuckle. I looked into his eyes and made myself hold contact. "All the things I can offer you...everything I am...you will always have. Because...because the moment you imprinted on me...I loved you. There was never any question about that. So...I want to be your wife. I want to share your life."

I finished. Heart hammering I pushed the ring up his finger and let out a shuddering breath. Jacob took my hands and kissed them. Oh man...does this mean he`s my husband now?

"That was beautiful...the most wonderful thing I could ever hear." He said in ernest.

"I sounded so lame."

"No! There was nothing lame about that. It was beautiful. You don`t ever have to hide your feelings from me Sonia. I`m not the same jackass I was before."

"I know you`re not."

"And this is for you." He pulled out a silver bracelet. The one that I chose in the jewelers that day. Attached to it was a tiny little wooden wolf. He gently took my hand and fastened the bracelet around my wrist. I fingered the wolf.

"Did you whittle this yourself?" It was perfect. So realistic. The wood was a red-brown. The same color as Jacob`s wolf. "I love it." I smiled widely at him.

"You do? Great! It took me ages to do. Think of it like a mini-me." I giggled and kissed him.

"Thank you."

"I already gave you the engagement ring so this...it`s also giving you everything I am...everything I have...it`s all yours. I`m yours. You`re my number one. I promise to always be there for you. I promise to protect you from anything that`s stupid enough to try to harm you. I promise to give you everything and anything you need. And...I`ll love you forever. I want to be your husband."

And we finished our little ceremony with a kiss. A kiss that, for me, felt like it made way with the earth underneath me, it felt like I was floating, and the only thing I could hold onto was Jacob. It felt like everywhere his flesh touched mine I had been burnt with a searing heat. The wind was howling all around us, a heavy rain now pelting us as we clung onto each other. Never let go...I will never let go of him.

"Do you think it will rain again?" I asked Jacob as he added another log to our little fire. Our wet clothes were drying on a make-shift rack beside it.

"It always rains here." He replied simply. He turned around and smiled at me, his white teeth shone brightly in the moonlight.

"But what are your wolfy senses telling you?" I wrapped my arms around him from behind and rested my cheek against his warm, bare back.

"My wolfy senses are telling me that my bride is wanting to have another round of honeymoon sex." He lent back and pressed me gently into the sleeping bag I was sitting on.

Resting himself on top of me I was blanketed by his heat. He was the happiest I had ever seen him since we left the island. Brushing back his thick hair I kissed him gently.

"This was the best idea ever Sonia." He peppered my face with kisses.

"So it took the trip to the island to finally convince you?" I asked playfully.

"It did actually." He lent down some more and nuzzled my neck.

"Mmmm...Jacob?"

"Mmm?" He said from my neck.

"When...when we graduate...we can have a church wedding if you want."

"That would be cool. For our friends and family and whatever."

"And...do...do you want kids?" Jacob stopped kissing my neck and looked down at me.

"Kids? Are...are you..." He stuttered out, looking terrified.

"No! I`m not pregnant!" I squealed. Jacob breathed out a huge sigh of relief.

"Don`t scare me like that!" He laughed. "I mean...if you were I would be happy but I have like no job. No money..."

"It`s okay Jacob. I`m on the pill remember."

"I know I know." He shook his head a couple of times. "I do want kids. But when I have a job."

"I don`t think there is a right time to have kids." Well...that`s what my mom says anyway. Jacob regarded me.

"Do you want a baby? Like...now?" He didn`t sound freaked out...just a little unsure. Did I?

"Not now." I shook my head. What a liar I am. I actually had no idea where this urge for a baby was coming from. Well...if I was being honest with myself...I knew it would be another way to bind Jacob to me...and that was totally unfair to both Jacob, the baby and myself. It was that fear again...that horrible black terror that poisoned my heart, telling me that my time was running out with him...that this would be the last chance I get for getting pregnant.

I really was my own worst enemy. We just got married. Jacob was here with me. Finally happy. Were were soulmates. He was never going to go. I should just take mom and Sue`s advice and ignore what is happening.

Losing track of my black thoughts as Jacob shed my clothes I surrendered myself to his tender caresses and touches. I could swear that every time we made love was different. Every time felt like the first time all over again. It was like he found new places to touch, like we discovered new ways to bring each other pleasure. I closed my eyes as Jacob entered me, taking one last look at the navy night sky. If this was what marriage was like then I`m sure I`m going to love it.

"How was your camping trip?" My mom asked me and Jacob as we came home on Sunday evening. I dumped my backpack in the hall and hugged her.

"Great." I told her.

"The best." Jacob said as he took my hand and squeezed it. Mom looked to me and then to Jacob, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. She suspected something but telling her would be more trouble than it`s worth at the moment. I was still a minor...she could tell me what to do for another two months.

"That`s good. The weather was terrible though. You should have waited." She said, crossing her arms.

"It was just a camping trip mom. Plus, the weather is bad all the time." I pointed out.

"If you get a cold don`t start complaining to me." She made a point of looking at her watch. Jacob coughed awkwardly.

"I suppose I better go. Sam will want me to patrol soon." He said almost sadly. I held his hand tightly, not wanting for him to go now. "I`ll see you tomorrow Sonia." He said reassuringly. By tomorrow he meant tonight I hope. Sam will be having him double shifts for all the time he spent away. Plus...he totally hadn`t forgiven me for all that shit I said about him and Leah.

"I`ll see you at school." I gave him a lingering kiss before he left. I so didn`t want him to go.

"Night sweetheart. Goodnight Ms. Mara."

"Goodnight Jacob." My mom said curtly.

Once the door was closed I was expecting to get an earful from her. I didn`t exactly ask for her permission to go on the camping trip, I just told her I was going. And I told her that I would be back on Saturday night. But Jacob and I wanted more time together alone...and it kinda slipped my mind that I should call her or something.

"You should put your dirty laundry in the machine before you forget about it. I don`t want to find any more mouldy clothes rotting away in some plastic bag." She said, in such a normal voice that I was taken totally aback. I was preparing myself for one of her screaming tirades.

"I`ll do it now mom."

"I have your pj`s warming on the radiator in your room. They should be nice and warm after you have your shower." She said, shaking out my raincoat and hanging it up.

"Thanks mom." Wow...

"No problem." She said kindly, giving me another hug.

"I`m sorry I didn`t call you and tell you I was staying another night. It just slipped my mind."

"Don`t worry. I knew you would be safe." She released me. "Just don`t do it again."

"I won`t. I promise." I picked up my backpack and made for the kitchen.

Once I dumped all my dirty clothes inside the washer I had my first shower since Friday morning. I didn`t want to think about how much I must have stank. Leaving the conditioner in for a couple of minutes I soaped and scrubbed myself vigorously. Oh man...I`m married...I have a husband! I`m somebody`s wife! Laughing out loud I rinsed my hair. Who would have guessed? Me. Sonia Chevosi Mara. Married. To Jacob friggin' Black.

Would I have to start acting like Emily? The native Martha Steward. Or like Kim? Sweetheart and stay at home mom. I should really start learning to look after myself properly now. If me and Jacob were going to live together then I needed to get a job. I also needed to start thinking properly about my future in dance. As much as I hated to admit it...there was no schools or companies near here that I could join. The closest would be in Seattle and that was way to far to commute to. Maybe I could be a teacher at my school in Port Angeles? But whatever...things would work out one way or another.

When I got out of the shower and drying off in my room I noticed a small white envelope on top of a stack of textbooks on my desk.

Sonia Gleeson

It said in flowing silver calligraphy. Who the fuck sent me this? Why were they using my Dad`s surname? I opened the envelope.

Isabella Marie Swan

and

Edward Anthony Mason Cullen

Together with their families

Request the honor of your presence

At the celebration of their marriage

**Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. Besos.**


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57: Thanks for sticking with me for so long! Just a couple of chapters left. And a lot of you have guessed correctly a lot of things that are going to happen. Happy reading and remember to tell me what you think.**

"Mom!" I yelled, barging out of my bedroom and into the kitchen where I could hear her banging some pots around.

"What?" She asked, eyeing the invitation in my hand. "You found it then." She wrinkled her nose and nodded at the piece of paper.

"You knew?"

"Don`t use the tone of voice with me! I found out on Friday. Billy got one. So did the rest of the pack. Jacob would have found out by now."

"And so what? Jacob won`t care. Bella can do what she wants now."

"You know what this means right?" Did I really understand the meaning behind her words? We stared at each other.

"It means that hopefully she will be changed."

"Sonia! That is not the type of life to wish on anyone!"

"She wants it mom! And she won`t rest until she gets it! Don`t you get it? The sooner she`s changed the better! She will have to leave with her leeches."

"This is just bullshit. How could she even marry him?"

"We both know why mom. And I know it was her who set Utlapa free."

"She would never admit it."

"I know. We...we just have to figure out a way to imprison him again."

"I don`t know how Sonia. George...he was the only one who knew everything. And now he`s gone."

"Who`s George?"

"Mr. McBride." Oh...Oh!

"How long did you know about him?" I asked her.

"Since he found you...that time."

"Why didn`t you tell me about him before mom?"

"Because he made us promise not to. He...he thought that he could handle it himself. But he`s old...and Utlapa has been gaining in strength."

"How old is Mr. McBride?"

"Wuffff...I dunno...he was around during the time of Chief Seattle so...about a hundred and seventy...more or less. If he show`s up again you can ask him."

"Wow..."

"Sonia. What was your camping trip really about? You can tell me. I won`t get mad I promise."

"You promise?"

"Promise."

"Me...me and Jacob got...married." I could only watch as my mom`s face paled then turned puce. So much for not getting mad.

"You...you got married?" She whispered. I nodded.

"On James Island."

"What? How?"

"We went up there and...exchanged vows." I felt my stomach clench.

"So...it wasn`t in a church. It was just a little...private...ceremony."

"I know how it seems mom...but for me it was real...and for Jacob too."

"I`m sure it was. If this is what you want Sonia...then..." She didn`t finish, she just shook her head. "Just promise me you won`t get pregnant yet."

"I won`t. Promise."

"Because...now are dangerous times...I don`t want you to get hurt."

"I do want kids mom...just not now you know."

"Be careful. Is Jacob using those condoms I got you?" Oh Godddddddddd!

"Yes mom." Really no. They were lying abandoned somewhere in my room right now. Unopened and gathering dust.

"Good...good. `Cause you know Kim got pregnant while she was on the pill right?"

"Mom! Gosh! What more do you want me to do?" She was seriously starting to flake out on me right now and I sure as hell didn`t need it. "Why are you freaking out over this?"

"Because it`s just a matter of time Sonia! You can`t bring a baby into this world with what`s happening."

"What`s happening? What mom? Please just tell me! Please mom." I begged.

"Oh Sonia. All this shit. My poor baby is caught up in all this and there is nothing I can do."

"Mom!"

"Utlapa is free! Free Sonia! And you...and Jacob..."

"Me and Jacob what?"

"It`s like fate will be repeating itself."

"What`s that supposed to mean?"

"I don`t know. It`s something that George said. It seemed pretty serious."

"Are you sure that`s all you know?" I pressed. If she did know then now is the time to tell me.

"I promise. He`s...he`s unsure of Jacob though. He doesn`t think he`s worthy."

"Worthy of what?"

"Of you. Of his gift. He said only time will tell."

"Do you know where Mr. McBride is?"

"I have no idea. I swear."

"Fine...Fine! I will just have to wait until he shows up again." You can`t cheat fate Sonia. I shuddered.

"I only want you to be careful. Jacob...he loves you. He always will. The dreams...what Utlapa is telling you...it`s something that could be but might not. Don`t let him in anymore. Don`t feed him your fears."

"But there`s the question of his imprint mom. She will be born. And soon I think."

"Of a human mother and vampire father. Let`s hope that`s never going to happen."

"That`s why Bella needs to be changed straight away. To eliminate her from the list of candidates." She was the only candidate but... "She is more dangerous human mom."

"But as a vampire...there`s no telling what she`ll do. And she already hates you. She`ll remember that punch to the mouth you gave her."

"Jacob would rip her to shreds if she dared come near me." And then that would get rid of her once and for all. That was such a nasty thought!

"He would. Him and the rest. To harm an imprint...They`d kill all the Cullens."

"The Cullens are stupid for sticking around so long."

"Sonia...there`s something else I need to tell you." Mom said nervously.

"Tell me." Oh man...now I was nervous.

"Your...your father called again."

"Wh-what?"

"Yes. He...he wants to know if you are okay." A look of complete sadness washed over my mom`s face.

"You talked to him?" She nodded.

"How...how was it?" I knew she was still in love with him. And Michael...well...she does love him but dad...she never got over him.

"Strange. Hearing his voice after so many years. He sounds exactly the same." She smiled briefly before frowning.

"Mom? Do you...are you thinking about getting back with him?" She looked shocked.

"Jesus Christ in heaven Sonia!" She laughed. "There`s too much water under the bridge."

"Okay. Sorry I asked."

"Don`t worry."

"Did he...leave a number?" Mom nodded towards the message pad beside the phone.

"You don`t have to call him if you don`t want to."

"I don`t know what I could say to him." And it was true. I didn`t know the man.

"Anything you wanted. He didn`t contact you all these years so..."

"Does he know?"

"About what?"

"About the stuff that`s going on. Does he know?" Mom took too long to answer. "He knows."

"He can`t come back here Sonia!"

"What are you talking about? Tell me mom!"

"He...he was supposed to change...him and Joshua Uley...they have the gene but...it never happened." She whispered, sitting down. I just stared at her.

"What?"

"Back then...something happened...there was vamp activity but not enough I don`t think. Joshua was the first. He started...he started becoming moody...erratic. Like what happens to the boys just before the change...but he never did. He just got angry...Mom`s brother Gerald, Sam`s granddad, told him that the best thing for him would be to leave, because being here in La Push, with all this energy, would cause him to become more unstable. They were afraid he would go crazy."

"But...then why doesn`t Sam know anything about this? Why keep it secret?"

"Because Allison didn`t want to leave. That and he was afraid to be around them. He was terrified he would hurt them. Then one day...he just upped and left. No goodbyes. Not a word from him since."

"Seriously?"

"Yes...I don`t know why they wanted to keep this a secret. I don`t know why they just don`t tell Sam."

"Like you told me about dad?"

"Robert was different. He wanted to take us with him. That`s why he was dealing. He was trying to get enough money to take us away from here. But...I think he wanted to get caught...he told me that we were better off without him. That the world would be better off if he was behind bars. I remember him beating up a guy for just whistling at me! He couldn`t control it. He made me swear I wouldn`t tell you. And mom and dad...they never liked him...they were happy he was gone. I thought it would be easier for you this way. Who would have thought that the next generation would phase? Who would have thought you would be imprinted on?"

"You could have told me when Jacob first imprinted on me you know. Instead of leaving it for months later."

"I thought it was too much for you to handle."

"Right...sure..." I crossed my arms and faced away from her. Why does new shit always have to crop up when things are going so good?

"I swear I did honey. Forgive me? Please?"

"Mom...there`s nothing to forgive. I just wish I had known sooner."

* * *

><p>Jacob called me to tell me he had to patrol that night. His voice was tight so I guessed he found out about Bella`s upcoming vampire wedding. He was upset I know. She was his friend. He used to love her. He wanted the best for her. But he didn`t love her now...he loves me. I didn`t mention it to him. I just told him I loved him and that I would see him tomorrow at school hopefully.<p>

After I had gone to bed I lay twisting and turning. So many things were happening at once and it was beginning to get overwhelming again. I just got married. Bella`s getting married. Dad called again. And Utlapa`s malevolent spirit is floating around somewhere trying to cause havoc.

I could only feel terrified. Again with that fucking feeling telling me to be on guard! When you are in love you are supposed to feel happy right? You are supposed to be content. Truth was that the love me and Jacob shared would be perfect if none of this supernatural shit was going on. And what if had never of imprinted on me? What would have happened? Would we have ever fell in love? That was a difficult question. I would have noticed him eventually. And I would have gotten him too. Jacob before he changed was different. He was nicer, less mopey. But maybe it was Jacob now that I was meant to fall in love with. The dark Jacob so to speak. The hot and sexy one. The brave and courageous one. The Jacob that was meant to love me. And only me.

Life isn`t perfect. It is never going to be. I thought back to something my mom told me before. Sometimes love isn`t enough. That thought saddened me. Sometimes all you need is love. It was the greatest feeling in the world! And also the deadliest one.

And what Kim said about that story of the brave who went off with the demon spawn woman. How true was that? She said she heard it from Old Quil. I should ask him some day. Utlapa couldn`t really take over the body of someone. The body needed to be empty. The spirit gone in order for another to inhabit it. And Jacob was strong. He could resist Utlapa if he tried anything like that. It was impossible.

And Mr. McBride? What about what he said? Then it clicked.

He was the brave who ran off with the cold woman! He was the one who left his wife and children! Mom said he was around the time of Chief Seattle...but wait...he said that he was one of Taha Aki`s sons. And Taha Aki lived about three hundred years before Chief Seattle right? Argg this is so confusing! Unless...Mr. McBride stuck around long enough. Who`s to say that he couldn`t be about five hundred years old? He was charged with the mission of making sure Utlapa didn`t escape. If he was continuously phasing then he wouldn`t age. He could have married and had children a couple of hundred years later. If the woman he married was his imprint...how could he have left her though? That`s the part I don`t get.

I got out of bed in a huff. I was going to drive myself crazy over thinking these things. I had no proof that Mr. McBride was this mythical brave. Would I ever get any answers? Would he ever come back even? He said he would...when the time comes. Whatever that meant.

I wish Jacob was here with me. He would make me feel better. He would know what words to say and what way to hold me to make all these horrible thoughts go away. Well...not go away exactly, he would help bury them until they resurfaced again. It so wasn`t healthy to be so dependent on him for this. Be strong Sonia. Not only for yourself. For everyone.

I sat at my desk and switched on my Mac. Maybe a couple of hours of surfing the net would send me to sleep?

I googled George McBride. 26.000.000 results. Robert Gleeson. 5.310.000 results. Not that the internet could tell me anything important about them. Joshua Uley? No. He was none of my business. I would tell Sam what I know tomorrow. He was still mad at me for all that shit I said to him about Leah but if he didn`t want to take my apology then that`s his choice. What he chose to do with that information was entirely up to him. But I don`t think it`s fair that his mom never told him about what really happened to his dad. Like it wasn`t fair that mom never told me.

It must have been dreadful for him. For the both of them. The wolves tempers were bad at best and crazy at the worst. To have to emotions and no outlet for them...things could have gotten so ugly. Perhaps it was best that they left when they did. Mom was certain that dad thought he was doing the right thing by staying away from us. Away from here. And he wasn`t that much older than me when he made that decision. He was so young when he got sent away. I have never regretted anything more in my life than I regret never really knowing him. He was my blood. A life wasted. A bond that I could never hope to have. And another reason to hate those stupid fucking vamps!

They were nothing better than monsters. Despite their facade of fancy clothes, degrees and cars they were destroyers of humanity. They feed on people. They have no concern of sympathy for the lives of the people they murder, or how those peoples family`s lives are affected. Just as long as their bloodlust is satisfied. And the Cullens were no better. Regardless of the fact that they drink only animals blood, they know that people die and they do nothing. They were the fakest of all. What about all those newborn vamps that came after Bella that time? They were human once. Their lives were taken from them for the sole purpose of killing one human. Their blood was on Bella`s hands and the Cullens. And Bella knew how powerful the lust for blood was and she still wants that life! She would, without a doubt, kill and feed. But that doesn`t matter to her. Her potential victims life doesn`t concern her, just as long as she gets what she wants. It was all too sad. I would sooner die than become one of them.

A bit bored and very restless I watched almost an entire series of The Big Bang Theory. Once I was starting to get a headache did I climb back into bed. It was six am. I would have to up for school in an hour and a half.

* * *

><p>Once I was beginning to nod off I heard my bedroom window creaking open. Snapping back into alertness I sat up. Jacob. He hopped in fully clothed with his school bag.<p>

"Jacob." I croaked out, sounding horrible. I couldn`t see his face in the darkness of my bedroom.

"Hey." His tone was so hard to read. With the limited light I could see him getting undressed.

"How are you?" I moved over in my bed to give him room. He didn`t answer me. Climbing in he immediately went to remove my pjs. I let him without any protest. So he didn`t want to talk then. Letting out a very loud whimper as he bit on my neck I grabbed his hair.

"Too hard..." I gasped out. He immediately stopped and peppered my neck with warm wet kisses as a way of apology. All grogginess gone I was wet and willing. I had missed him horribly all night.

We made love until it started to get bright. And Jacob didn`t seem too preoccupied that my mom would hear us with all the banging and moaning. It was possessive Jacob making all the moves.

He came eventually, with me on my back with my hands pinned above my head. He didn`t kiss me on the mouth until he had finished and we were both slick with sweat.

I moved from underneath him and sat up. I was aching everywhere. Feeling a bit empty I brought my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. I could feel the morning chill goose pimple my skin from the open window. The only warmth I could feel was from Jacob`s leg that was touching the side of my ass.

"Sonia?" He asked. Trailing a finger down my back.

"Mmm?"

"I`m sorry."

"For what?"

"For that. I just wanted you so much."

"Did you?"

"Yes. It was a hard night." He got up and wrapped himself around me.

"You know about Bella then."

"Hmmf. I saw it coming. But getting that invite was the worst. Does she really think that I would go?" I rolled my eyes.

"I got one too. Just forget about it."

"Are you angry at me?"

"Yes." I felt Jacob straighten up suddenly.

"Did I do someth..."

"Yes you did do something wrong. You fucked me because you are angry at Bella!" I spat, looking him straight in the eye. Wow...I scared myself a little with that one. Jacob looked terrified.

"No! I didn`t! I wanted to be with you!"

" That was angry sex Jacob!"

"I hurt you?" He sounded scared.

"A little." I wasn`t going to lie to him. He swore under his breath. My alarm went and Jacob turned it off.

"I`m sorry. I won`t do it again."

"Did I tell you to stop?"

"No."

"So why are you apologizing?"

"Because I hurt you."

"You hurt me by using me to vent out your frustrations and not telling me before."

"You`re right...I shouldn`t have done that. But I did need you."

"I should have a shower. I`ll make you breakfast when I`m finished." I got out of bed and put on my bathrobe.

"Wait Sonia!" Jacob hopped out of bed and hugged me. "I`m sorry. I am. Please Sonia."

"Stop it Jacob! Physically you hurt me a little. But I liked it! I just don`t like the way you went about it!" I stepped away from him and headed towards the door. "You better get dressed before my mom wakes up. If she`s not already up that is." I shut the bedroom door behind me and showered. The hot water eased a lot of my aches and pains away. Toweling myself dry I saw that there were no marks on me besides an ugly hickey on my neck. Jacob must be tearing himself up now thinking that he hurt me physically. Why was I such a bitch to him? Hearing my mom`s alarm clock going off I exited the bathroom. Please God. Let her have been asleep and not heard me having sex. If you grant me this I promise I`ll go to church next Sunday.

I made my way to the kitchen where I could smell frying bacon. I found Jacob at the stove scrambling some eggs. At least he got dressed. I smiled as I saw how he had laid the table out perfectly for breakfast. He handed me a mug of black coffee and kissed my cheek.

"I hope you don`t mind but...I started breakfast for us. Bacon and eggs?" He asked hopefully. The toaster popped. "And toast?"

"Sounds great." I smiled. We shouldn`t be fighting now. I cuddled him for a couple of seconds.

"Great." He breathed a sigh of relief and turned his attention back to frying the bacon. I sat down at the table and every so often Jacob would smile at me from over his shoulder.

I decided I shouldn`t be so hard on him. I shouldn`t let my paranoia rule me. He didn`t hurt me. The angry sex turned me on beyond belief. Now he would be terrified to fuck me again like that. I was just a bit pissed off afterwards. Not every time we have sex can be perfect. The way he went about it...he was claiming me again. Marking me as his own. He was pissed about Bella that was for sure but making love to me wasn`t to vent his frustrations out. It was more to make sure that I was his. Like the first time we had sex.

"How much bacon do you want?" He asked.

"A couple of slices please."

* * *

><p>I had dressed for school in thick turtle neck jumper to hide my hickey. I would be roasting in this no doubt but I wasn`t about to parade around with this love bite on my neck as if it were some sort of badge of honor. When I tried to talk to Bernie and Ollie they gave me the cold shoulder. Okayyy... if they wanted to be like that then fine! Chris had a new girlfriend and Lorraine was nowhere to be seen. By lunchtime I was in a huff. I made my way over to the pack`s table. Jacob seemed a bit surprised to see me but he smiled happily and moved over to make room for me.<p>

"Sonia Mara is sitting at this table? I don`t believe it!" Quil joked.

"And?" I snapped, wiping the smile off his face. I caste a dark look towards Ollie and Bernie, who were sitting by themselves, deep in conversation.

"Don`t mind them babe." Jacob said gently, putting an arm around my shoulders. By this time Bernie had looked my way and seeing where I was gave me the stink eye. Feeling anger and embarrassment boil up in me I stood up abruptly but was dragged back down almost immediately by Jacob.

"Wow..wow Sonia. Easy there. They are not worth it."

"Fucking bitch! Who does she think she is? Looking at me that way?" I really, really wanted to punch something!

"She`s not worth it." Embry said. "I heard her bitching about you to lots of people." I stared at Embry in shock. I couldn`t believe it. Bernie was bitching about me? After we had been friends for all our lives? I was crushed. I felt like crying.

"I`ll give her a piece of my mind!" Jacob swore. This time it was my turn to drag him back down to sit.

"Don`t! Let her. After all I`ve done for her. I just...Embry. What was she saying about me?"

"Bullshit. It`s not worth repeating Sonia. She`s jealous because it was you who Ollie really wanted."

"What?" I whispered, feeling ill.

"Yeah...we knew for ages. Locker room talk. He was bragging about how he had you first when you and Jacob first got together." Quil said. I glanced at Jacob who was staring at Ollie with his death glare. Ollie said that? He lied like that? I felt sickened. He was supposed to be, like Bernie, one of my best friends.

"Well...thanks for telling me I suppose." I pierced my carton my chocolate milk maybe a bit too hard. "Just don`t tell me anymore." All the fight had left me. The old me would have been rolling on the floor pulling some hair right now. That sounds so tempting. I looked over at Bernie and Ollie again. They were making out. Why did they have to turn into assholes?

"You are one of us Sonia." Jacob said seriously. "We will always be here for you."

"Thanks guys. I really mean it." But I still want to be friends Bernie and Ollie though. I had known for a long time that our friendship was not what it used to be but I didn`t think it would end like this. I hadn`t cut them off. I hung out with them as much as I could. What did I do to make them turn on me all of a sudden? I locked eyes with Ollie. He gave me a knowing look and then a smirk. What was he playing at? What was his game?

**Remember to tell me what you think. Besos.**


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58. Sorry so so so sorry this took so long but I have been seriously busy with work and have had serious writers block for the past while. This chapter and the remaining ones are proving very difficult to plan out and write. But I hope to finish this story soon and start on the next one. **

**As for the length and quality of this chapter...I am sorry. Not my best work but this contains some very important pieces of information. **

**Thanks for sticking with me and the next chapter, which will be much better, will be up soon. And soon is very soon. Besos and happy reading.**

¨I know what you´ve been saying about me.¨

I had cornered Bernie in the girls locker rooms after gym class. And I was going to do this with an audience. She really needed to know that no one spreads bullshit lies about me. She put on a brave face but I knew that underneath she was scared. She was tough but we both knew that I was tougher. I wasn´t going to hurt her, not if I didn´t need to. I was just going to scare her into shutting up about me. She was my friend, or rather she used to be. The thoughts of actually getting into a physical fight with her made me feel ill.

"So you know." She stuck her chin up defiantly, staring me straight in the eye.

"So if you have something to say you can say it to my face. Why don´t you give it a go?" I stepped in closer to her.

The locker room had become totally silent at this stage. All eyes on me and Bernie.

"Okay Sonia." Bernie rolled her eyes and frowned. "But it´s not something you are going to like to hear."

"Go ahead. You might be surprised."

"You´re a joke." She said seriously. "Running around with Sam Uley´s gang. Getting back with Jacob after everything he did to you. Looking borderline anorexic. You have gone insane." Funnily enough her words were not malicious, more concerned than anything. But they still hurt. They still made me angry.

¨Who I date is none of your business."

"It is when it´s hurting you. When it´s changing you. He´s controlling you Sonia. You have turned into one of those chicks who´s too blind to see that they are in a toxic relationship."

"You don´t know what you are talking about."

"I´ve known you forever. So I think I do." She replied cheekily.

"Whatever you think about Jacob you say it to me. Not to everybody else."

"You wouldn´t listen! All the times I´ve tried to talk to you Sonia! And if someone asks me what´s going on with you then I´m going to tell them the truth!"

"Listen Sonia." It was Lorraine who spoke up from behind me. ¨Bernie hasn´t been spreading crap about you." She spoke gently.

"I was told!" I spun around to face her.

"By who?" Bernie asked. She was looking at me knowingly. When I didn´t answer she answered for me. "By your new friends perhaps?"

"I didn´t hear anything bad about you Sonia." Ciara Harris said, shrugging her shoulders. The other girls were looking at each other and then at me, like I had lost my mind or something. Something told me that I had made a big mistake confronting Bernie. She now looked like I had just confirmed something important for her.

"Yeah Sonia. Bernie is just worried about you." Lorraine put her arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah Sonia. I am worried about you. When you are ready to listen to me then call me." She then stalked out of the locker rooms still in her gym clothes and without taking a shower.

I watched her go with mixed feelings. She knew. Her and Ollie knew. They knew and were trying to get me to confirm to them what they already had figured out. The secret was not so secret anymore it seemed. So what do I do? Keep it to myself and not tell the pack? Confront them? Act like I don´t know what´s really going on?

Would it really be that bad if they knew? I mean, they are Quileute after all. They are part of the tribe. But, if I tell them everything then they might risk blowing the whole lid off things. They could go public. It was too risky. Way too risky. Everything could go to shit. Well, even more to shit then it was already going.

And Jacob would be so angry. I made a promise that I wouldn´t reveal his secrets. No matter what happened. Should I tell him about Ollie and Bernie? That they kinda knew about him or just forget about it? It was a tough one. Part of me was actually relieved that my friends knew. Because I wanted to keep them in my life. I didn´t want to lie to them anymore. I wanted them to understand my relationship with Jacob. I wanted them to understand what me and Jacob had went beyond the norm of teen relationships. If they understood that then they would stop giving me such a hard time over him.

I knew this was all childish thinking. I could never tell them. I could never confirm to them even more than what they already knew. They had to be kept out of it. Out of harms way. And I realized with a horrible sadness that I had to let them go. My life had changed with the secret. Theirs didn´t have to. They would live the normal lives that they had planned for. That they chose. I would have to lead the life I was destined to have. A life that was chosen for me. And as much as I loved Jacob, that thought was horribly disappointing. I am such a disgusting person for even thinking that. I was given my one true love, and here I am whining about how I won´t be able to do the things I had dreamt of doing before he had imprinted on me. I really had to get my priorities straight. There was crazy spirit Utlapa to fight and a weird hybrid baby to stop from being born.

In just over one month I´ll be eighteen. I had never felt so lost. Or so alone.

* * *

><p>"When do you have to run patrol?¨ I asked Jacob, trying to keep the impatience out of my voice.<p>

We were taking a walk along second beach. It was lovely spending some alone time with him, but what I really wanted to be doing was talking to Kim about Ollie and Bernie. She would know what to do.

"Tonight, so I´m free all evening. All yours." He said with a sexy grin.

"Great."

"Still upset about those two idiots?"

"´Suppose." I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my feet. I was in one hell of a bad situation.

"They´re not worth it. You didn´t do anything to them."

"I know."

"They are nothing but a couple of wasters anyway."

"Like me."

"You´re not a waster Sonia!"

"Sure Jacob."

"But you are not. Listen. I know you can´t have the same sort of fun with me like you could have with them but….I dunno….I think I am pretty fun sometimes."

"Jacob…." I groaned, smiling a little. "Stop being so adorable."

"Not when it makes you smile like that I won´t."

"I do love you Jacob."

"I know you do. And I love you too. So tell me what´s on your mind."

"I don´t know what way to put this." I started out awkwardly. "But I think that Bernie and Ollie kinda have an inkling of who you are, or rather, what the pack is." I cringed as I saw Jacob´s face change from confusion to anger. "I didn´t tell them anything I swear! I swear it!"

"You think they know or they do know Sonia? This is important!"

"I think they know. But today…Bernie sorta baited me into confirming something…." I hesitated when Jacob looked the most terrifying I have ever seen him.

"She baited you? Into saying what?" He growled. Oh crap. My heart was hammering and my mouth was dry. "Tell me!"

"I confronted her over what she and Ollie were saying about me. And it turns out that they weren´t saying it to other people you know, just between themselves. When you and Embry told me all that stuff at lunch today I just assumed that they were spreading shit. But they weren´t. I think they just wanted to see if what only you or the others could hear would get back to me."

"You should have just kept your mouth shut and ignored them like I said! Fuck! If it´s not one thing with you then…." He bit his tongue but looked like he wanted to punch something.

"I´m sorry." I whispered to the sand. Of all the times Jacob had been angry with me…..this was one of the times when he seemed the most disappointed. And that hurt like hell.

"It´s not your fault they are snooping around. I fucking hate them!" He spat with such venom that I got a bit scared.

"They are just worried about me." I defended. Jacob shot me a withering look.

"I´m done talking about them with you. I need to find out how much they actually know. You need to keep your mouth shut from now on and stay away from them." He commanded.

"Don´t talk to me like that Jacob!"

"Sorry." He said sarcastically. "I´ll take you home. I need to trail them and see how much they actually do know." Okay that was creepy.

"Don´t hurt them Jacob!"

"Do you actually think I´ll hurt them? Seriously? Despite the fact that I can morph into a giant wolf doesn´t mean I´m some wacko nut job."


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59. Some questions will be answered here. Hope you all enjoy and sorry about the miserable crap which was my last update. I am truly sorry. Anyway. This one is better and I hope you enjoy. Happy reading.**

"Hi Sam."

"Hey Sonia." He greeted me a bit gruffly. So he was still mad at me. Plus Jacob had told him about Bernie and Ollie. Seems like I was bringing nothing but trouble to the pack lately. I don´t blame him for being pissed.

"Can I talk to you in private for a bit. I have something important to tell you." I asked meekly. I needed to tell him what my mom had told me about his dad. He deserved to know.

"About what? Your stupid friends or the other mess with the old shapeshifter and some evil spirit? Or is it something new?" He snapped.

"Something new. It´s about your dad. And it´s important." I stressed. He frowned in confusion and closed his front door behind him as he stepped out.

"Walk and talk." He commanded. "And make it quick because I need to go to a council meeting in half an hour."

We headed down the road that goes towards first beach.

"Yesterday my mom told me something important about my dad, and yours."

"I heard your dad has been in touch. Have you spoken to him?"

"I haven´t. She told me that our dads were supposed to phase, but didn´t." I looked at Sam´s reaction. He was staring at me in disbelief. "This happened about thirteen years ago, when I was four and you were nine. The time when your dad disappeared and mine got sent away."

"Are you serious?"

"I am. It´s what my mom told me. And she´s not lying. Your mom knew but didn´t tell you."

"I don´t believe my mom would keep something that important from me Sonia. Maybe your mom was just telling you that to make you feel better or something."

"Give me a break Sam! My mom wouldn´t lie about something like that! I thought that you would have wanted to know."

"And what´s that supposed to help? He left Sonia. Not one word in almost fourteen years! Don´t you think someone would have said something all this time?"

"I don´t know why people do the things they do. But…my dad might know something about yours. He might know where he is and…"

"AND THEN WHAT?" He roared, making me jump a foot in fright. "He´ll come back and we can all play at happy families? He left Sonia! And not a word from him since! I don´t need you coming to me and telling me some bullshit sob story!"

"Cool it Sam!" I was petrified. He looked like he wanted to fucking kill me. "I didn´t tell you the whole story…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He began to shake. And I began to cry.

"HEY!" I barely registered Embry´s voice as I ran away from Sam and towards the beach. God….I am such a screw up….I should have waited…should have told him differently.

I found a rock and sat down, trying to control my tears. Taking a couple of deep breaths I stopped crying and hugged my knees to my chest.

I hated this! It was just all too hard. It was all too big for me to handle. I couldn´t make anyone happy anymore. Jacob, my friends, the pack…..they were all angry at me. For something that is beyond my control. For something I didn´t start.

"Hey Sonia."

"Leave me alone Jared." I kept my eyes on the sea. Watching the waves.

"No. You are upset." He sat down beside me.

"Do what you want then." I got up and began to walk. I wanted to go home and forget about everything.

"You did the right thing Sonia so don´t beat yourself up."

"The right thing….sure."

"You did. I would have told Sam the same. He´s just a bit prickly when it comes to Joshua. Hasn´t gotten over it. It´s easier for him to believe that he is an asshole that doesn´t exist. He doesn´t want to know anymore about him you know."

"Whatever Jared. He hates me now."

"He doesn´t hate you." Jared said seriously. "Do you want to come over to mine? Talk to Kim for a bit?"

"I just want to go home. At least there I won´t screw things up more."

"If you´re sure. I´ll walk you."

"Where´s Jacob? Still stalking Bernie and Ollie?"

"No. He´s laying into Sam big time."

"I just keep on messing things up for him."

"For who? Jacob? You´re not. He´s just worried. And frustrated. Jacob can´t pretend that everything is fine when it really isn´t you know."

"I just want him to be happy."

"He can´t be happy when you´re not."

"I´m sorry for this rotten mess Jared."

"It´s not your fault this is happening Sonia. It´s not any of our fault. Just…..promise me that….." I already knew what he wanted to say.

"I won´t let anything happen to Kim. She won´t be harmed and she is not in danger Jared." I smiled as he breathed out a breath of relief.

"Thanks Sonia. Are you sure you don´t want to come over? Kim´s making spaghetti."

"I´m sure. I´m pretty tired."

"Jacob will come to see you in a bit anyway."

"Cool." I said without enthusiasm.

"He won´t be angry at you." Jared stated confidently. "Christ, if Sam had spoken that way to Kimi then I´d…..so yeah, Jacob won´t be mad at you."

"You sound so sure."

"I am sure. You are Jacob´s princess. As pansy as that sounds he does think of you that way. He´s just snappy because everything isn´t perfect and you are unhappy. If he´s acting like a jerk it´s not because of you."

We arrived to my house and stopped outside for a couple of seconds. I looked at Jared. His head was turned in what seemed to be the direction of his and Kim´s house.

"Tell Kim I was asking for her. And that I´ll call her later."

"Will do. Come on over whenever you want. We like having you over. Kim especially." I smiled. Jared loved Kim. And whatever made her happy, like having me over, made him happy. Why couldn´t it be the same with Jacob and me?

"Thanks Jared. I really appreciate that." I opened the front door to my house. "Bye. And I´m sorry again if I caused a big mess."

"You didn´t. See you later Sonia. Try and relax. And smile." He waved goodbye and broke out into a jog towards the woods.

Kicking off my boots I collapsed face first onto the living room sofa. I was totally drained. What was I supposed to do? Sam needed to know. I did the right thing in telling him, even if I did go about it the wrong way. I should have told Jacob first. And we could have told Sam together. Or maybe speak to Mr. Black and see what he thought. See if he knew anything first…..

I am so stupid! He must have known! Of course he knew! Then why all the fucking secrecy?

With the feeling I had stumbled upon something big, I sat up. Mom…..she knew some things but not everything. She must have been told to keep it a secret. Allison Uley as well. But for what reason? There was no reason that I could see? But why did mom tell me? She must have felt guilty. She loved dad. She still does. Hearing his voice the other day after not hearing from him in so long must have made her snap. She doesn´t want me to think of dad as some dead beat when he really isn´t. She knows something is not right and wants to make amends. For us. Me and Sam. We had effectively lost a parent to whatever the hell it was that went on.

And I still had his number…..I could call him….I could ask him….I could get to know him…

"Sonia." Jacob scared me from the doorway.

"Sorry Jacob." I whispered. He had a black eye that looked like it must have hurt like hell. I stood up but was afraid to approach him.

"Don´t be sorry Sonia." He came over to me and hugged me. "You did what you thought was right." He sighed. I knew he was annoyed at me. His tone of voice, the way he held me. It told me everything.

"Do you think I did the right thing?"

"I think you should have waited to tell him something like that."

"Can´t undo that now."

"I just…I don´t know what you were thinking. You know how he feels about his dad! You could have gotten hurt! He was going to phase right next to you, you got him that angry!"

"It´s not my fault Sam has some daddy issues Jacob! All I did was tell him the truth! What the hell was I supposed to have done? Sweep everything under the rug and pretend like things don´t exist? Never happened? I can´t do that!"

"Jesus Christ Sonia! He could have hurt you!"

"And that would have been my fault? Huh? Are you saying that I provoked him?"

"Don´t twist my words like that Sonia."

"I´m sorry Sam got mad OK! I´m sorry you got into a fight with him. I´m sorry about my friends! If….if you never would have imprinted on me then this would never have happened. You deserve someone better who isn´t a walking disaster."

"You can´t mean that Sonia. Not really." Jacob said gently.

"I love you Jacob….but I just keep on screwing things up."

"You´re not. What´s happening. It´s nothing we can´t handle. I won´t let anything come between us Sonia. Never. You just have to believe it will all work out in the end."

"I want so bad to believe you Jacob."

"Then believe me! It tears my heart out seeing you this way. I feel so fucking guilty. All I want to do is to make you happy."

"You are the only person who can make me truly happy."

"And you me."

"I don´t know what to do Jacob." I mumbled into his chest.

"You know you can come to me….tell me what´s on your mind. I can give you advice if you need it. Don´t try and take everything on on your own, you know? It´s okay to ask for help sometimes."

"I know it is. Will you help me if I ask for it?"

"Of course I will! I´m always here for you."

"Then can you help me find out what happened to my dad, and Sam´s?"

"I´ll do it. I´ll help you."

"Thanks Jacob."

"And what about your other problem?"

"The other one?"

"The one you won´t let me know anything about."

"That one…I´m still figuring out how to deal with it but…..it´s not getting any worse." I half lied. Jacob made an annoyed noise.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then okay then."

I took his hand and sat down on the sofa.

"I´m going to try Jacob. I mean, really going to try. The way I´m acting, so miserable all the time, it´s not fair on you, and not fair on me neither. I want to be the fun, happy Sonia I was before."

"You could never not be those things princess."

"But, what I mean is, I shouldn´t let these things rule my life right?"

"That´s true. There is nothing more that I want than for you to be happy."

"So that´s why I should go to dance class more often. Try and rejoin the soccer team. Learn flamenco."

"Flamenco?"

"Yeah! Start living again. So we can start living. And move on from this rut that we are stuck in. We already took the first step, getting married and all, now we have to take the next ones."

"This is the Sonia I love so much." Jacob smiled. "The one who can´t sit still. The one who is a fighter. The dreamer. You are the sweetest person ever you know? And I´m sorry I have been acting like a real asshole lately. Really I am. You don´t deserve that type of crap, especially not from me. Later, I´m going to have a proper talk with Sam. Make him fucking understand that nobody talks to my imprint the way he did."

"Thanks Jacob."

"For you, anything."

After Jacob had left I logged onto msn chat to see if Kim was online to chat. What I didn´t expect was an instant message from Ollie.

_´Sup Sonz? Jacob still following us?_

It felt like my heart had stopped beating. With shaking hands I wrote a reply.

_What are you talking about? Why would Jacob follow you?_

_Because we know about him Sonia. Him and the rest._

_There is nothing to know about him Ollie. Stop being such a nutcase._

_You have got the wrong idea Sonia. Seriously. We are not going to blab to the world media or any shit like that. We just want to keep you safe. Keep La Push safe._

_I don´t know what you are talking about._

_You do. But I realize you are scared. You don´t need to be. I am your friend. Bernie is too. You have more people looking out for you than you realize. Teen Wolf isn´t the only person who wants to protect you._

_Ollie you are freaking me out so just stop it! Just forget about it!_

_Who would have guessed that those Cullen freaks over in Forks are really vampires? I just thought they were rich mormons._

_Ollie come on!_

_Or that the legend of Utlapa is real?_

I didn´t answer him for a long time after that. I just stared at the computer screen in shock. How did he know all this stuff? What was really going on here? I was just paralyzed. Ollie sent me one last message before logging off.

_We are not your enemies Sonia. We are your friends. And it is important that the Wolf Pack doesn´t know about us. Not yet anyway. They are suspicious but that´s it. When you are ready to talk just message me or Bernie. We will answer because we love you. As corny as that sounds. Your dad wants to talk to you by the way. And Mr. McBride. We´ll be waiting and we trust you._


	60. Chapter 60

**I am so so so sorry for the long wait. I have been so busy with work and I have had little time to devote to my fanfic. Well, I´m back. I´ll try and post another chapter as soon as possible. I really hope you enjoy it and I hope it was worth the wait. Happy reading.**

I sat glued to the chair in total shock. I was thinking fast. Too fast. My mind was starting to go into overload. How can this be? How can they know? Did that really happen? Did they really know? As in know everything? But how? Why would Mr. McBride have told them? They didn´t have anything to do with the secret. And my dad….they were in contact with him…..It just didn´t make any sense! I couldn´t see the reason behind it all.

This was just too much. Way too much! I needed Jacob. I needed him to hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. I needed his strong arms wrapped around me. Keeping me safe.

But then what? The problems would still be there. Utlapa would still be that evil black shadow, hanging about, unseen but felt. That poisonous fog that´s seeping into La Push. And La Push has to be kept safe. The tribe comes first….above all….over everything…and everyone….Utlapa wouldn´t stop unless somebody stopped him. And I knew that that somebody was me. I started this….I was the one who awakened him.

Switching off the computer and going over to my night stand I took out the picture of me and Jacob. Just looking at him filled my heart with love but also with some undefined sadness. A strange ache. Like my heart was being pierced. My Jacob….I would keep him safe. Alive. No matter what the price. Replacing the picture I took my iPhone and messaged both Ollie and Bernie.

"We will talk soon."

So what happens next? What´s my next move? Maybe it was the one I should have made first. The one I was putting off for a long time. Since that first call.

"Dad…..you´ll have the answers." I said to the empty room. I need to do this! You need to do this Sonia! You may be a lot of things but you are not a coward! You need to sort this out! Do it for everyone you love. Don´t be afraid.

With a strong sense of determination I marched into the kitchen and grapped my dads number from the cork board and dialed it before I could give myself time to chicken out. It rang for about a minute before he picked up.

"Hello?" Said an unfamiliar, gruff, male voice. A strangers voice.

"It´s Sonia. Is…is that…is that…Robert?" I couldn´t bring myself to call him dad. He was silent for a long time.

"Sonia…..I…." He sounded completely shocked. He must have known I was going to call him though. "You sound like your mother."

"Listen….we need to talk about a lot of things. I think you know what. Important things." I stressed, wishing I could end the call right at this moment.

"I understand." His voice was all business now. "There is more you need to know and for only you to know. You can tell the other…Kim right? But not the pack. This is important."

"Fine. Tell me."

"Over the phone? No. Your friends. Bernie and Ollie. They will know where to find me. Mr. McBride is here too."

"How do I know that this isn´t some sort of trap? Why should I trust you?" I asked accusingly. This was too weird.

"Do you trust your friends?"

"Yes."

"Then talk to them first. They will tell you what they know. Then you can make the decision to come and see me. But don´t leave it too late. Things have been set in motion. We need to act soon."

"What things?"

"Not over the phone. I´m sorry Sonia." I got the impression that he was apologizing for a lot more than that. I bit my lip, trying to make my mind up.

"Okay…fine. I´ll talk to you soon."

"Good. You have no idea how much I want to see you. You and your mom."

"Yeah…so….bye."

"Bye. And keep safe."

"I will."

And I hung up.

So I just talked to my dad. For the first time in years.

The whole experience felt oddly surreal. He didn´t even sound like how I had imagined him.

But I knew it was him. It is very difficult to fake the type of concern I heard in his voice.

I felt it very hard to trust him but I knew I needed to hear what he had to say. I needed answers. And there was two people here, two people very close to me that had them.

"I´m coming over to see you." I messaged Bernie. I got a reply almost immediately.

"No. Don´t come to my house. Meet me at the secret spot."

The secret spot? Our old refuge. It was an abandoned timberyard a couple of miles into the forest where we used to hang out when we first got our drivers licenses.

"Can I really trust you?" I typed, feeling so unsure.

"You can. I´m your friend Sonia. You know it."

"I´m leaving now. Meet you there." I replied before putting on my raincoat and heading out.

Driving there would only take about twenty minutes but I decided to park my car a bit of a distance away and walk the rest. I didn´t want to take the chance that one of the wolves were around and follow me. I was nervous of that risk enough.

As I approached the yard I saw Ollie´s car parked beside the little wooden shack that we used to hang out in. Crap, I hope Jacob can´t feel my nerves and decide to come looking for me. That was another big risk. It was so hard to do things secretly when the person you were the closest to had an almost psychic connection to you.

"Hey." I said nervously and I opened the door to the shack and faced Ollie and Bernie alone for the first time in what seemed like ages.

"Hey Sonia." Bernie greeted me. She seemed hesitant but she hugged me in the end. One which I returned eagerly. Like it was returning the embrace of a long lost lover.

"Sonia. It has been way too long. I´m sorry about being such a dick. I just didn´t know the truth. But I do now." She said.

"It´s okay." Still unsure about how much they actually knew.

"No, it´s not." Ollie said this time. He gave me a short hug before settling down to sit on an empty upturned crate.

"What do you know?" I asked both of them, standing firm where I stood.

"We know about the pack. The legends are true and all that. We also know about the vampires and Bella. About imprinting." Ollie said, slightly bored.

"How do you know all this?" I asked.

"´Cause apparently I was going to change." Ollie said, shocking me again. "But I didn´t obviously. But I still could. That´s the thing. Like what happened with your dad and Joshua Uley. Something went wrong."

"What? I mean….what went wrong? If the others phased then why not you?"

"Mr. McBride sought me out." Ollie continued. "First I thought he was some sort of lunatic ya know? But then he changed into this giant motherfucker of a wolf. It was like tripping on acid it was that freaky. He told me I was meant for something different."

"What something?" I pressed.

"He said that whatever it is that causes us to change into wolves is stronger in some and weaker in others. That it takes the right conditions, not only having vamps around. Those of us who are affected but don´t change are given something else. It´s like super senses. I can´t describe it any other way. Like…." Ollie seemed like he was struggling to find the right words. "..like these crazy dreams. Where I can see myself. But floating above me. Looking at myself sleeping. I thought I was going nuts Sonia. And Bernie…the same happened with her, because we are soul mates. Like you and Jacob are."

"You imprinted!" I looked from one to the other in shock. Bernie shook her head.

"That only happens with the wolves."

"So what are you then?"

"The same as you and Kim. Spirit warriors to give it it´s old name."

"But me and Kim can´t leave our bodies!"

"Because you were imprinted on."

"Wait! Sue Clearwater told me something like that. If the imprint of the wolf leaves her body then he would die."

"You got it. Since the wolves are tied to the earth in their wolf forms then so are the imprints. You couldn´t leave your body even if you wanted to because it´s an inbuilt defense against harming Jacob."

"If you can leave your body then show me." I demanded. I needed proof before I believed them fully. Bernie and Ollie looked at each other warily.

"We´ve been practicing." She said. "I told you she would want to see." She said to Ollie who grinned.

"Okay….I´m gonna try, might not work though." She lay down on the dirty floor of the shack and closed her eyes. "You´ll know it´s me when I touch your face okay."

"Okay." I replied at bit weirded out by the scene. She lay completely still and Ollie had his eyes locked on her nervously. The howling wind was the only noise that could be heard.

About ten minutes later I felt something cold brush against my hand, then brush against my face. It felt like static electricity.

"You feel her right?" Ollie asked, totally serious. I nodded. "Ask her to do something." I swallowed.

"Pull my hair." I asked. I felt a gentle yet persistant tugging. "Thanks Bernie….em….I believe you." My God that was super creepy. A couple of seconds later Bernie gave a groan from the floor and rolled onto her side.

"I´m gonna hurl!" She said as she darted outside with Ollie following her. What happened was just too true to deny. They were telling the truth. They were what they said they were. And it was….wow….

"I´m sorry." I told a trembling, ashen Bernie as she re-entered the shack.

"Don´t be Sonia. I´m more sorry for you."

"Why?"

"Because of Jacob."

"Jacob loves me!" I growled. "I thought you understood that!"

"Listen Sonia. And please Listen!" Bernie begged. "Jacob isn´t who you think he is. He isn´t who he thinks he is!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Billy Black isn´t Jacob´s father."

"W-w-what?" I stuttered. No way…..no way was that true. I shook my head.

"Jacob doesn´t know obviously. But believe us. McBride and your dad told us. Jacob´s dad was some strange guy who came to the rez a couple of months before Jacob was conceived. His mom had an affair with him and got pregnant with Jacob."

"Hold up! Even if Jacob´s mom did have an affair Billy could still be Jacob´s father."

"Have you ever looked closely at Jacob?" Ollie persisted. "He looks nothing like Billy Black! Plus he doesn´t even look full native."

"None of us are full native! We all have white ancestors somewhere in our family trees!"

"Maybe one or two Sonia. Jacob looks half."

"And so what? Genetics are strange you know! He could look like his grandfather or something!"

"Hey! I´m just relaying information." Ollie held up his hands in defense. "Billy knows this apparently."

"And so what if it´s true? That doesn´t make Jacob a bad person." My poor poor Jacob. Fuck sake! How could I even tell him this? It would destroy him!

"Talk to your dad and McBride about it. They know more. More than they told us anyway."

"Where are they?"

"Out on the Spokane rez. With your Granddad."

"I´ll go to see them when I have the chance."

"When you can get away from Jacob you mean."

"It´s difficult."

"We´ll make sure he doesn´t follow you out there."

"How?"

"We´ll create a diversion. Tell him that you and your mom are visiting your granddad. That´s nothing suspicious."

"True."

"Your dad´s nice. Real cool." Bernie told me, sensing my nerves.

"Really?"

"Yeah. He wanted to know everything about you. We showed him pictures. He misses you. And your mom. They are soulmates."

"I´ll be sure to tell her that."

"What happened with him….I know it was tough on you but it was tough on him as well you know." Ollie added.

"I´ll keep that in mind."

"Listen Sonia. Jacob is looking for you." Bernie said, seemingly listening to something that I couldn´t pick up on.

"How do you know that?"

"Super senses remember?" She winked at me. "It´s awesome."

"That would be totally handy." Why couldn´t I get any superpowers? I mean, how the hell was I supposed to fight Utlapa without any? Throw a rock at him or some shit? "I´m gonna go."

"We´ll head too. Oh, and don´t worry. Jacob can´t hear you when you are with us."

"Why not?"

"Because we don´t want them too."

"With everything you tell me it just creates more questions."

"McBride and your dad will answer a lot. The sooner you go the better."

**Remember to review. I love your feedback on this. **

**Up next: Sonia visits her dad and Mr. McBride and learns some very disturbing truths about Jacob. Is Utlapa really what he seems? Will Sonia tell Jacob what she has learned? **


	61. Chapter 61

**long time coming, I know and please forgive me. I have not given up on this story or the one to come and my others. The past couple of monts have been really really busy with work, weddings and new members of my family coming into the world, as well as a lot of traveling home to my country to visit my family. You will be seeing new chapters being posted more frequently. Stick with me on this. I am planning on about ten more chapters until the first part of Sonia and Jacob´s story is finished. **

**This chapter is short. But I had to write. Even if it isn´t up to standard. An important twist is hinted at here. Something that is crucial to the story. **

**So anyway, enjoy and sorry for my ramblings. **

It was a lot to digest. I mean, Bernie and Ollie, my dad and then….Jacob. My poor Jacob. With some unknown guy as his father. Could I even tell him what I knew? Not now obviously, but sometime in the future. I would have to. But I would need to speak to Mr. Black first. Well, my own dad first, or my mom, then Mr. McBride and then Jacob. Broach the subject in a more gentle manner than my blunt and idiotic encounter with Sam. It seemed the more I discovered the more questions needed answering. What in the hell was going on? I mean, what is really going on? Whatever it was seemed like more than an almost eighteen year old girl could handle. I am not strong enough for this but whatever I had to do I will do it.

I decided to go find Jacob after I left Bernie and Ollie. I needed to see him. To look into his eyes. To see his face. He needed me more than ever and I needed now more than I could ever let on. Of course he would know something was up with me the moment he saw me. I did nothing wrong but I was racked with guilt. Jacob never deserved any of this. None of this shit should have ever happened to him in the first place.

I got to my car and the radio came on. I sat motionless for a while listening to Don´t go by KC and The Sunshine Band. He wouldn´t go. He´d never go.

I drove about for almost an hour before I worked up enough courage to message Jacob to see where he was. A minute later he told me he was at home and did I want to come over. He ended it with a wink. I would go. Go to him and pretend like nothing was wrong. I was getting so good at pretending nowadays.

When I got to his I spent about half an hour chatting with him and Mr. Black before Jacob literally dragged me to his room for what he was aching for. I couldn´t get into it though. With his head between my legs, doing things with his tongue and fingers which would normally would have me screaming in ecstasy was making me clam up and feel totally unsure. I couldn´t even muster up anything fake.

After a while he stopped.

"What´s the matter?" He asked as he settled lightly above me, his head directly above mine, inches away. He thought it was him. He was hurt. Well it was about him but not in the way that he thought.

"I´m just tired Jacob. Seriously." I smiled weakly and he said nothing for a while. He searched my eyes, his expression serious. I knew he was running through the possibilities of what could be up with me. Weighing each one against another until he came to his own conclusions.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him towards me. I let out a deep sigh as I looked up at his dark ceiling. The moonlight cast a little sliver of light onto it. Otherwise it was quite dark.

Eventually he moved to the side and drew me into his chest.

"I spoke with my dad today." I told him quietly. Maybe in a way of an explanation for my not being in the mood for sex. He started a little in surprise.

"You did? What did you talk about?" He was understanding and kissed my forehead in such a tender way that it brought me on the verge of tears. I controlled myself though.

"He wants to see me. Me and mom. I am going to go. Maybe tomorrow after school." So that plan was made.

"Am I coming with you or is this a solo thing?"

"I should do it on my own."

"Where is he?" He asked. Don´t lie Sonia. I knew if I did it would come back to bite me on the ass.

"The Spokane rez. Visiting my grandpa."

"Is this what you really want?"

"It is. I have to. Even just to satisfy my own curiosity. I have no expectations of the man Jacob. I am not expecting some tearful, joyous reunion. So…"

"So…? He prompted.

"Don´t worry." I snuggled into him some more.

"Whatever you say baby."

"So, how´s everything in the pack?" I asked, wanting to talk about anything else.

"Okay I suppose. Although….Do you talk to Leah much?"

"The same amount as always I guess. Why?" Sensing something than normal gossip I propped myself up on my elbow. Jacob´s tone didn´t have it´s usual bitter edge like all the times he spoke about her.

"It´s just. Kinda crazy."

"What is?"

"Sam and Emily had sex a while back. For the first time…you know."

"They did? What happened to her whole ´pure until marriage´ thing?"

"Don´t ask me what goes on in her head. I just have access to Sam´s already disturbing thoughts."

"So what´s crazy about them finally giving in to their baser instincts?"

"Ever since…it´s like…their bond is weakening or something."

"Are you being serious Jacob?"

"There is no other way to describe it. I know every imprinting is different and all but….there is something not right there anymore."

"You´re freaking me out."

"Don´t. Trust me." He held me closer. "Having sex brought us closer together."

"So what has Leah got to do with all this?"

"You know Sam still loves Leah right? His imprint didn´t change his feelings. Just dulled them down."

"And?"

"They are starting to resurface again."

"You can´t be serious! What the fuck?"

This shit was starting to freak me out.

"Weird right?"

"Putting it mildly." I muttered.

"So Leah hasn´t spoken to you?"

"No. How does she feel about all this?"

"Confused. Angry. Hurt. Hopeful. The usual Leah mix."

"What do you think will happen?"

"No idea baby."

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"That won´t happen to us right?"

"No way. Never." He promised solemnly.


	62. Chapter 62

**sorry for the long wait. Have so much work going on and the muse to write had left me for a while but it is back now. Will finish this very very soon! And then the next installment would be up. Seems like Sonia has taken on a life of her own. I know this is getting way to long and I am dragging it out too much but bear in mind I am not a professional writer and I don´t have the ability to wrap things up in an uncomplicated manner. But thank you all for sticking with this and with me. I love writing and any helpful suggestions that you have are always welcome. I really do listen to you. Because you are all amazing for actually reading this. I think you all know where this is heading but I have a couple of surprises up my sleeve (unless you guess them first). **

Mom was a nervous wreak during the whole drive out to the Spokane rez. She was just sitting, bolt upright in the driving seat, twitching nervously. I had butterflies in my stomach as well as the constant feeling that I needed to pee.

"You´re okay with this mom?" I asked her for the millionth time.

"I am. You need answers Sonia."

"What do you think it will be like?"

"I have no idea honey. Weird probably. No use lying about that you know."

"I know."

"And you´re sure Jacob is not following us."

"I am. He promised me." I prayed that he wasn´t. I didn´t think he was but then Jacob would say one thing then do another.

"That´s good then." She nodded her head and we lapsed into another long silence.

I mentally went over all the questions Kim said I needed to ask and the most important ones that needed answering. I wouldn´t settle for anymore riddles or hints or suggestions of things that could be true or untrue. It was past that now. What was happening was out of Mr. McBride´s control and he seriously needed to let me know everything that he knew so we could beat that motherfucker of a malevolent spirit that was hiding out somewhere in La Push in some cave. The clock was ticking. I could feel it. I was running out of time.

The drive was so long. It was the type of drive that gave you way too much time to think. There were no distractions. Nothing that could keep your mind from wandering. I thought over everything. In three weeks I will be eighteen. In a couple of months I would be graduating from high school. Next September I should be starting college. My applications had already been sent and I was less than skeptical that I would be getting accepted anywhere good. And if Jacob couldn´t leave La Push then how could I? My Mom never mentioned it so it meant that she had grown to accept my fate.

Last September Jacob had imprinted on me. Just about eight months ago. And we weren´t even in a relationship for most of that time. But it felt like forever. Like normal time didn´t play a role in any of this. And there had for sure been more bad times than good. But the good times were great. It gave me the biggest reason to fight. Being with him has given me the purest form of happiness that I had ever felt. The thought of something messing with him made me want to hurt and kill.

Jacob always got a lot of shit despite the fact that he was a good guy. He needed someone to stand up for him and that was me. Utlapa wants to take Jacob away from me for whatever reason but I will never let that happen. That was the most important thing right now. That and keeping La Push safe of course. Since it had the whole Hellmouth thing going on.

When we got to the Spokane rez a lot of old memories resurfaced. The last time I had been here was when I was around fourteen. Mom used to bring me to visit my Granddad at Christmas and Easter, and sometimes during the summer. But Nana had always been against these visits. She hated my dad´s family with a vengeance. I had never really understood that. But Nana had always been a force of nature and mom and I always went along with what she wanted. I think she and Granddad had some huge argument and then the visits stopped. Although we sent each other cards at birthdays and Christmas and had the occasional phone call.

"Oh God! I feel like I´m going to shit myself." I groaned as Granddads house came into view.

"I wish I had some wise words of advice Sonia but I don´t so just buck up and let´s get this over with." She parked the car and we got out. I saw the curtains twitch from the corner of my eye and it hit me that I would be coming face to face with my dad in a matter of seconds.

The front door opened and there stood my Granddad. His brown face was wizened and his hair streaked with grey but he was still powerfully built. A veteran of the Vietnam war. Mom said he was never a man to take shit of anyone. But there he stood. A smile on his face. Happy to see his Granddaughter.

"Well hello." He chuckled as he pulled me into a hug which I returned stiffly.

"Hi Granddad." I said with a dry mouth, nervously trying not to look over his shoulder into the house.

"Hello Grace." He said less warmly to my mom. They shook hands and I nervously twisted a bit of tissue paper around my fingers in my coat pocket.

"Come inside. They have been waiting. I think Robert might wear out my linoleum with all his pacing." I made a strange noise, like a strangled squeak, as I followed him inside with my mom behind me.

A very tall man, with long hair, stood up from the sofa. I found myself staring at the floor wishing I had Jacob here with me for some type of emotional protection. Mr. McBride was there too. I could sense his presence behind me. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and knew it was my mom giving me the strength that I needed. I finally looked up.

"Hi." I said awkwardly. I cringed and looked away again.

"Hi Sonia. Hello Grace." The strangers voice said.

"Robbie….you look well." Mom ventured. There was a slight hint of humor and affection in her voice. He snorted out a laugh.

"You haven´t aged a day." He told her.

"Yes well," Mr. McBride´s growl cut in. "We haven´t got time for the joyous reunion that you were all looking for unfortunately. Sonia is running out of time. She has to be told all the facts." His tone was completely unapologetic and I was happy he cut short the awkwardness. He was right. There was no time for this.

"He´s right." I cast my dad a quick look and turned to face Mc. Bride. He looked somehow younger. More alert and straighter. "I need to know everything. And I won´t settle for more riddles or "it´s fate" bullshit either!"

"Sonia! Watch your God damn language!" Mom scolded me. Granddad laughed and sat down.

"She definitely is a Gleeson I can tell you that!"

"She is a lot more than a Gleeson." Dad said, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"I thought we were finished with the cryptic language?" I pouted.

"True." agreed. He stared me straight in the eye. "You know the legend of the first wife Sonia?"

"Of course I do. She sacrificed herself for the tribe."

"Part of the story. Do you know the whole story though? Or what the consequences were of her actions?" I didn´t answer. "I´ll take that as a no then."

"Was she your mother?" I blurted out. "I mean, you said before that you were a son of Taha Aki´s and.."

"That was a lie Sonia. I was not a son of Taha Aki. I was his friend. He wasn´t the only one to phase first. There were three of us. Three best friends so to speak. The story that the Quileute children have been told is a lie. A lie created to protect you. Or for others to protect themselves."

"So who was the other?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Utlapa was the other. He and Taha Aki were the most powerful men, the most powerful spirit warriors. They could do things that no other spirit warrior could do before. They experimented. They pushed the limits of their powers to do amazing things." The faraway look in his eyes made it seem like he had been transported back in time for a moment.

"But something went wrong one day." He continued. "Taha Aki wanted to experiment inhabiting the bodies of animals. He chose the wolf as it was the most sacred animal to our tribe."

"Then Utlapa stole his body right?" I asked, continuing the story the only way I knew. McBride shook his head.

"Utlapa wanted to know the secret of possessing the animal but Taha Aki wouldn´t share it. They fought. They were both fatally injured and they both left their bodies before they died and their spirits would be sent to the other world. Difference was that Taha Aki could jump into the wolf and share it´s body. Utlapa could not."

"So didn´t you try and look for them? I mean, you could disembody yourself and asked what happened."

"Taha Aki came back before we even knew what had really happened. He had changed. And his change was passed onto us. All the spirit warriors had taken an oath to follow Taha Aki anywhere because he was our chief. With his first phase we were unable to leave our bodies. We could only transform into the wolf. He had told us that he and Utlapa had fought over a woman. But his lie was discovered through the mind link. It seemed that Utlapa was lost to us. Unable to take physical form and unable to pass onto the other world. We sensed him though. We could all feel him. Sometimes his voice came like a whisper on the wind, others, a cold hand touching you. As time went on he became bolder, angrier. He blew out fires, made the sea so violent that we were unable to fish. Then he began to attack. First scratches, then pushes, then the fatalities. We had to do something. The only woman left that could leave her body was the wife of Taha Aki, River Woman, but she was forbidden to do so because she would have discovered his terrible secret. But she did so anyway with her sisters to stand watch over her body. There she talked with him and discovered the depth of his anger and rage. He begged her to find him a body that he could inhabit. A man half dying for example. But she refused. To do so would condemn the other person´s soul to an eternity of restless wandering. In a fury he attacked River Woman but she made it back to the safety of her body just in time. When Taha Aki discovered this, he banished River Woman from the tribe before anyone else could find out about secret and what really happened to Utlapa lest his family called for revenge."

"Hold up! I thought that Taha Aki was our hero! You are making him sound all evil. Utlapa is the one that we need to fight now!"

"Our tribe needed Taha Aki more at that time Sonia. We were being attacked and raided constantly. Our land had always been coveted because of its magic. He was our strongest warrior and deep down he was a good man. I am not excusing his actions Sonia. Not one bit. But when it comes to survival, we are all capable of bad things in the name of good. It is never black and white."

"Okay so…Utlapa could inhabit a body if the conditions are right?"

"Correct."

"What are the conditions?"

"The person must first possess the power to free their spirit, or disembody themselves, like you said, to make it fit for him to take it over. Second, the person must do so willingly."

"And Bernie and Ollie are safe from him?" I asked fearfully.

"Who?" He asked, a bit perplexed. I then went ice cold.

"Bernie and Ollie. You know. You told them….things…."

"Bernie and Ollie are the two kids that came up to see me the a couple days back." My dad told him. "Said they knew that I was back in town and Sonia was a bit freaked out but wanted to contact me. They said that they wanted to see what I was like."

"But you told them everything right? Because they can leave their bodies and…."

"What are you talking about Sonia?" Mom asked, scared.

"They know about everything! Because you told them!" I looked at the shocked tableau of faces that made up my mom, dad, McBride and my Granddad. "Didn´t you?"

"I told nobody nothing of the sort Sonia." McBride said slowly. "It seems that this has gotten even more dangerous."

"What did they tell you or what did you tell them? This is important." Granddad came over to me and knelt in front of me.

"They knew everything. I didn´t need to tell them anything! I…" There was a loud crash from the kitchen which made me and mom scream.

"What the fuck?" Dad yelled as the three men headed to the kitchen with me and mom following, clutching each other for safety. My heart was pounding. Blood filled my ears and I felt like I couldn´t hear anything except my own heart beating.

The china cabinet had fallen flat onto the floor. Glass and porcelain littered its surroundings. McBride and my dad were trembling. The first sign of a phase in the making.

"They are with him." I whispered to the room at large. "They were working with him from the beginning. They know everything."

**Remember to review. It´s not for the numbers it´s for my own motivation. Besos.**


	63. Chapter 63

**Hi guys...I am so so so sorry that I have left the story so long. So much has been happening in my life and Love will tear us apart had to take a back seat unfortunately. **

**The chapter is short but I am trying to work my way back into the story. Anyways, I will be updating frequently from now on. **

**Thank you for sticking with me. **

**Kisses.**

"I….I can´t believe it." I looked at the overturned china cabinet with a tight feeling in my chest. "Why is this happening?" I started to cry now. Mom pulled me into her and kissed my head.

"We need to tell them." It was my dad that spoke. "This has gone on to a whole new level."

"It´s too dangerous Rob. They will leave." McBride answered.

"They won´t. If I won´t leave then Jacob won´t."

Nobody spoke for a long time.

"How dangerous is this? And don´t lie to me." Mom asked the room at large.

"It´s coming to a head now." McBride sighed heavily and took my face in his hands. "Sonia. I need you to be strong."

"Tell me what you need me to do."

"I will. But not now. We need to get back to La Push and tell the Pack what is happening."

"But I thought that it wasn't safe to."

"The rules have changed. We need to find those two kids too. And we need the Packs help."

"And you promise that they won´t be hurt." I looked at my dad, McBride and Grandpa. None of them betrayed any emotion.

"We can´t promise anything." Grandpa spoke. "Grace, Rob will drive with you guys. McBride and I will follow. Be careful driving."

"Promise me that Sonia won´t be hurt." Mom looked directly at dad. They seemed be having a silent conversation. "If she will….if there is even the remotest possibility tell me Robbie. She is all I have."

"She won´t be hurt Grace." My dad looked at me then back to my mom. "I will protect the two of you with my life. As I always have."

"She is our child Robbie. Our baby."

My dad was going to say something but McBride cut him off furiously.

"I told you that this wasn't a reunion Rob! We have to get to La Push now!"

The minute we are in the car and heading back to La Push I got out my cell to immediately call Jacob. To be honest it was the biggest relief that I ever could have hoped for at this horrible moment. To be able to tell him. To not hide this from him anymore.

"Hey Sonia. You okay?" Jacob greeted. He sounded stressed. I don't think we have ever been this far from each other before in our lives.

"Yeah yeah. I´m heading back to La Push now."

"So you are not staying the night there." He was relieved, I could hear it clearly in his voice. "I will meet you half way."

"You don't need to Jacob. I need you to do something else."

"What?"

"My dad is coming back with us. So is my Grandpa and….and McBride."

I could picture his face perfectly at the moment. His frown. And I also knew what he was going to say next.

"What?" Bingo. I won. "What the hell Sonia? Did you know that he would be there?"

"Kinda….yeah. Listen. They are coming back with us. And….I need you gather the Pack together. For a meeting with them. To discuss all the crazy shit."

"So I am finally going to be let in on this?"

"Yes."

"So what changed that you need to tell us about it finally?"

"A lot. Listen….I cant talk about this over the phone."

"I´m meeting you half way. Eight hours is too much."

"What you want Jacob. We are planning to stop in Cle Elum. Meet us there okay."

"Cle Elum. Got it. Sonia…are you okay?"

"Yes….."

"You are lying but…it doesn't matter. I will get everyone together as soon as I can. It will be difficult because some are on patrol and others need to."

"I understand. I gotta go okay. I´ll see you soon."

"Okay, see you soon. I love you Sonia."

"I love you too Jacob."

We were all silent in the car for a long time. Mom driving. Dad sitting beside her in front. Me in the back. Did I feel safe? I dunno. Yes….no….I just felt numb. And Bernie….and Ollie….how did I not see it? What were they playing at? Why go to so much trouble to get me out of the reservation? I couldn't help but feel I was walking into an even bigger trap. They practically pushed me to go out to the Spokane Rez. My head was aching horribly. And something was niggling at me. Fleeting thoughts that I couldn't pin down.


	64. Chapter 64

**Just a taster for my new story for Sonia and Jacob after Love will tear us apart finishes. **

Something wasn't right. I knew even before I open my eyes. The bed felt different. The temperature. There was so smell of Nessie or of the leeches. It smelt of the woods, the ocean and of something or somebody familiar. It smelt like La Push. I sat up and looked around. Weak sunlight was entering the room through a little slit in the curtains. I was in a room I was never in before but I belonged her. I knew I did.

It was then that I noticed the sleeping figure in the bed beside me. Turned away from me. A head on long black hair cascading on the pillow.

"Sonia….." I whispered out.

"She´s sleeping." A voice came from the corner. As I snapped my head in the direction of where the voice came from I got the fright of my life. It was Sonia….the same eyes, the same face. I looked between the awake figure and the sleeping one in confusion.

"What is this?" I whispered. I got out of the bed gently and stood, not knowing what to do or where to go. For the first time in a long time I felt afraid.

"I don't know really. A dream? A vision? What are your wolfy senses telling you?" Awake Sonia asked.

"My wolfy senses don't seem to be working."

"Too bad." Awake Sonia stepped out of the shadows. Sonia…..she looked exactly the same. The same as when I had to leave. Same clothes…..same everything. "It would be great if you could figure this one out by yourself."

"Which….which one of you is real?" I looked down at the sleeping Sonia again, knowing the answer already.

"She is. I am your memory of her." Awake Sonia walked around the bed and squatted down, looking at her own sleeping face. "I got even better looking if that's even possible." She smiled up at me. "I´m 25 now, how time flies Jacob Black." She was mocking me. She stood up and looked around the room in interest.

"25….seven years…." A feeling of horrible loss churned inside me.

"A long time." Awake Sonia said in a mock sad voice.

"Why am I here?"

"Because you needed to see her. She is your soulmate after all."

"But I imprinted on Nessie."

"You did. But that doesn't mean anything. And you know it."

"I know I love her."

"You are still lying to yourself?" Awake Sonia smiled at me. Like she used to when I did or said something stupid. "You never forgot about me. You could never stop loving me."

I couldn't say anything. I walked around to where Awake Sonia was standing and looked down on sleeping Sonia´s face. She was right, she was even more beautiful than before. She was a woman now. But she looked sad, even sleeping.

I went to brush her cheek, but I couldn't feel her properly. She stirred briefly, frowning.

"She can feel you."

"Could she see me? If she woke up?"

"No."

"Thougth not."

"Why don't you make contact with her normally?"

"And do you really think that she would want that?"

"It would probably fuck her up more. But, she is in danger."

"I know. I can feel it."

"You need to protect her Jacob. From them. From the Cullen´s. From Nessie. You know it."

"I have always known it. Why do you think I left?"

"She knew you had to. She knew it all along. On a very deep level. She thought she could change things. But…..things didn't go as she expected them to."

"She had to be kept in the dark. They all did. It was the only way it would work."

"She could never get over that. She did make something of herself afterwards though. You know Sonia. She has this crazy determination when she is angry and sad."

"But is she happy?"

"The two of you can never be fully happy without the other Jacob."

"Sonia is the strongest person I have ever known."

"Strength can only take you so far. You know too much time has passed. You know you can´t keep the Cullen´s away any longer. Once they figure out that Sonia´s blood is the key to keeping Nessie alive they will stop at nothing to get at her."

"I will never sacrifice Sonia to Nessie. There has to be another way. I don't want Nessie to die."

"There is no other way for them."

"There has to be."

"You are such a tool Jacob!" Awake Sonia shouted at me. "Eurrghhh! We were kids when all this shit happened. Only one of us really grew up though. It´s time that you grew up too. You don't belong with them. You belong here! Beside her. Like you always have and you always will. They are just using you Jacob! Nessie doesn't love you and you know it! She isn't human!"

"It doesn't mean she deserves to die!" I shouted back at Awake Sonia. "You are just fucking bitter because I found someone better! Some I love more!"

"Remember Jacob. I am not Sonia." She smirked at me again. "I am your memory of her. You are not really talking to her. You are talking to yourself."

"So what are you like fucking Jimmeny Cricket or something?"

Awake Sonia shrugged her shoulders and put up her hands.

"I am not her. She could try and contact you like this. If she wanted to. If she was forced to. But when you left with them, you didn´t explain." She looked at me with sad eyes. "You didn't even say goodbye."

I remained silent so she continued.

"How do you think she felt? Believing that you loved her and all of a sudden you just disappearing into the mist with those leeches. And not a word since. To nobody. Not even your dad."

"It had to be done."

"You sound like Edward."

"It's the truth."

"All I am saying is…..stay away from La Push. If you have any respect for the place you came from, don't bring them back there."

"Where are we…now? This is La Push right?"

"No….." Awake Sonia looked around and peeked out the window. "Seattle."

"Seattle? I thought it was La Push, the smell and all."

"Because she is La Push for you. Association. Seattle….I always thought that I would go to New York. Wonder what I am doing here? I wish I could snoop but…" She tried to touch the closet door but her hand went straight through it. She sighed and smiled at me again.

The sound of an alarm startled me. Sure enough, the clock on the bedside table was beeping, showing 6.30.

"What´s going on?"

"Did you really just fucking ask that?" Awake Sonia rolled her eyes at me. "Its an alarm clock." Like she was explaining it to a two year old. "Some people actually have to work for a living."

I watched as real Sonia stirred in bed and woke up with a start. Sitting up abruptly she scanned the room before she hit the alarm to turn it off.

"I think she can sense you Jacob." Awake or should I say Memory Sonia informed me.

"Sonia?" I whispered out. She snapped her head in my direction but looked right through me. She looked terrified.

"Jacob?" She croaked out.

I wanted nothing more than to just hold her. To touch her. To kiss her and talk to her and tell her that I was sorry. I wanted to go back in time and make everything right. I wanted selfishly to make love to her and have her love me like before. But I also wished that I had never imprinted on her. Because it would have been the best thing for her. Not having me in her life and fucking it up time and time again.

She got out of bed and stood looking in my direction for a while before sighing and shaking her head. Following her into the bathroom I saw her open the medicine cabinet and swallow a few pills from a prescription bottle and then stared at herself in the mirror.

"It is not real. They are not real."

After that, I felt myself slipping away. I felt her slipping away from me again. Like I was getting tunnel vision, being pulled backwards towards somewhere that I knew deep down I didn't want to be anymore. That I didn't belong to.

"Jake…Jake wake up!" Nessie´s musical voice first came fuzzy then clear as day.

"Nessie." I opened my eyes and looked at her. And…the veil had been lifted. I swallowed in terror as I saw her, what she really was, for the first time…


	65. Chapter 65

**New chapter. **

I got a message from Jacob saying that he was in Cle Elum. I figured that we were maybe another hour away which meant that he must have ran hell for leather to get there or drove like a manic if he took his car.

I wanted to be with him and not sitting in the car with my mom and dad. It was just too odd. The whole scenario was surreal. If none of this shit had ever happened in our lives then this is what we would have normally driven like. And maybe I would have had some brothers and sisters as well.

But the issue at the moment was not my family situation. The issue was my so-called friends. They have either been brain-washed by Utlapa or….maybe…their bodies have been taken over by him and another spirit…..

"Say….dad?" I grimaced as I said that. I saw mom look at me through the rear view mirror.

"Yeah Sonia?"

"Can I ask you a question about the spirit? You know…Utlapa."

"I think it will be better if we leave it when we are back in La Push. Where McBride can put up some defences."

"Put up defences? We can do that shit?"

"Yeah. The guys in the Pack will figure out how to do that….shit….pretty soon."

He didn't look at me when he talked to me. Well, the bare minimum of eye contact.

"Okay…cool. The guys need all the help they can get."

When we got to Cle Elum I knew Jacob was close. The pull. I had my nose practically pressed against the window scanning the street for him or his car. I eventually spotted his Rabbit and him standing next to it about 20 feet up the street.

"Stop mom. Stop here. I´ll get out here. Its Jacob."

Mom stopped and I got out and ran up to him. Literally flinging myself into his arms. Basking in his warmth and security.

We didn't say anything. We didn't need to. We just looked at each other. Letting everything go unsaid.

"You are coming back with me right?" Jacob asked, drawing me into him by my waist before kissing me. The fear that I was going to lose him built up in me again.

"Why are you freaking out?" Jacob pulled away and made me look at him fully.

"I just missed you Jacob." I said. Which was the truth.

"Are we stopping for long here?" He spotted our little group across the street outside a small diner.

"Coffee and sustenance. Half hour tops." I reassured him.

"So…that's your dad." Jacob and my dad were staring each other down it seemed. My dad broke eye contact first and went inside the diner after mom. "You look like him a lot."

"Mom always tells me that."

"So how is he?"

"Alright I guess. Not what I was expecting. You will love Grandpa though. Come meet him."

"Okay. But….." He stopped me. "All the time you were gone, the distance…..I couldn't shake the feeling that you were in trouble. I had to fight against the urge to come after you so hard. It was like….every mile you got farther away from me I could feel it. It was hell."

"I felt it too Jacob." We smiled at each other weakly. "I don't want to fuck your game up anymore by doing all this sneaking around shit. I want you strong. Because I´m not that strong. I need your help. And I am going to start being honest. I´ll tell you everything from now on. Because….because….what I was doing before….if I didn't think it was important, and keeping you safe…"

"I understand Sonia. I really do. I love you."

"I love you too."

We went into the diner after we kissed for a second time. Mom, dad, Grandpa and McBride were sitting together a booth. Jacob put his arm protectively around my shoulders as we walked up to them.

"Hi Jacob." Mom greeted him.

"Hi Ms. Mara."

"Sit down guys. I ordered coffee. Sonia, I ordered you a BLT."

"I´m not hungry mom. I told you."

"You need to eat."

"Fine."

We sat down with them. There was an awkward silence hanging in the air. McBride, Grandpa and dad were watching Jacob closely. And he them. Like they were sizing each other up.

"Sam is going to get most of the pack and the elders together for a meeting as soon as we get back to La Push." Jacob broke the silence.

"Good." McBride simply said, nursing his coffee. Not taking his x-ray stare off Jacob. I could feel him starting to get annoyed.

"But what we want to know is why you didn't tell us about whatever is happening sooner. Why leave it this long?"

"All be will revealed Jacob." Grandpa told him, a bit more kindly than McBride.

"And Sonia isn't in trouble?"

"Do you feel something telling you she is?" McBride asked. "You should know this."

"Don't fuck around with me." Jacob snarled, totally snapping. He went to stand up but I put my hand on his arm, stopping him. The other diners looked at us curiously. I knew that if Jacob exploded again that they would call the police.

"Cool it Jacob. Come on." I told him in my quiet voice.

"Just stop this bullshit now!" Grandpa hissed. "Stop pushing him." He said to McBride, who was watching Jacob impassively.

"And you." He pointed at Jacob with his fist still on the table. "Lesson number one. Don´t ever speak to your elders that way. No matter how much they piss you off. Number two. Cool your shit. There are bigger problems than your hurt feelings at the moment." Jacob just sat there, unusually cowed. Grandpa radiated authority and it was awesome. He was a leader. And we needed direction. We all did.

"Number three?" Dad ventured quietly, smirking. Grandpa looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Never try to get yourself put in jail on some misguided sense of martyrdom."

"Fuck." I whispered to mom. She was looking at dad though.

"Okay….so….we go back to La Push. Then what?" Jacob was still annoyed, but trying to control himself. I intertwined my fingers with his. Showing him that I was on his side here.

"We need to talk with your dad Billy and Sue Clearwater." McBride told him. "Then we talk to the Pack."

"We need to find Joshua as well." Grandpa looked at dad.

"I´ve tried dad." Dad shook his head. "He is too far gone."

The table was silent for a while before Jacob broke it.

"What does that mean?" He sounded a bit hesitant.

"It means that he surrendered himself to his wolf." Dad told him. "He has been living like that for years."

"For ten years, give or take." McBride added.

"Why? How?" Jacob questioned more.

"He couldn't handle it. Was easier for him." Dad, it seemed, didn't want to elaborate. "I need to speak to his son about it before I tell you more."

"Sam won´t want to know." Jacob said.

"Then Sam is a fool." Grandpa snapped. "Like I said before, all of this goes beyond hurt feelings. We need Joshua. He was the last to see him."

"Who is ´him´". It was my turn to ask.

Silence feel upon our cramped booth again. McBride looked out the window and spoke with difficulty.

"He is Taha Aki."


End file.
